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[Mr.Swag]

My best friend keeps telling me to just date around regardless of whether or not I'm actually attracted to the women. I think she's nuts, but she keeps telling me it's no big deal. Eeeeh.

Ugh how do people do that? I've asked my friends that do it and they say that their partner probably did it as well, and that it's normal. Maybe I'm surrounded by crazy people, Cus I would never be with a chick just to be in a relationship. That shit needs to be real

 

[Night Hunter]

GAF, I had a mindblowing experience today. I have always been really shy around girls, at least when it's about dating. Everywhere else I am quite confident. I can talk to girls, no problem, but as soon as it comes to asking someone out I just fall apart, which has led to more than a few awkward experiences throughout the years. At first it was always hanging out or vague shit like that and later the whole friendzone thing. That's been pretty much the story of my life, until today.

I am a student and there was this girl in my course, today was the last class for the semester so I thought fuck it, I'm going to ask her out. If she says no the worst thing that could happen is that I pass her in the hallway someday. Went up to her after class, asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with me, she laughed and said she'd love to, gave me her number. BOOM. The only thing that's kinda bad about this situation is, that she said she was busy for the next two weeks with university stuff, but I should call her then.

But still, after the whole thing was done I walked away and couldn't believe what just happened. She's pretty, intelligent, seems witty. I would consider myself intelligent (at least if I want to be), but I'm not that good looking and have a general aura of I don't give a fuck. As soon as I asked her I was thinking to myself "shit, what have I done, she is way out of my league and I'm standing here in my weird outfit of Converse, Jeans and Dream Theater shirt", so when she said yes it was like *gif was here but was removed to save space*

I still can't believe she said yes and I feel like I have learned some kind of magic trick. Seems like all the advice giving people on GAF were right all along. Just going up to a girl and asking her out really does work best and saves you a lot of headaches.

@Night Hunter

Not to shit on your parade but don't get too excited until you're actually out with her. One thing I've learned is that words are empty and mean ZILCH. Even when a girl says "Yes" it means nothing until you're on the date. I'm only remaining cautious because "I'm busy for ____" always makes me stutter for a second.

There is much good stuff, however. Good for you for coming out of your shell! Even if she doesn't end up going out with you, you got the confidence now to approach other women. That's the positive in all of this.

Yeah, I know, I know. Even if I don't go out with her in the end, it doesn't really matter. I'm just glad to have made the experience of actually asking someone out. Learning by doing.

And about the busy thing. Well, could be, that it was just a ruse to be nice but still get me off her back. But the last week of the semester is coming up and everyone is pretty busy with papers or exams and stuff like that. Not only that, but she is also doing her Doctorate besides some classes and being a research assistant. Well, hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

All in all I will consider this a learning experience, whatever happens.

Quoted just because no one will remember and I'm too lazy for a recap

So I called her yesterday, she didn't answer, and again today, same result. I was about to let the whole thing go when she called me back just a few minutes ago and apologized for not calling me yesterday. She said she was still pretty busy but that she will call me tomorrow evening when she really has time to talk (the background sounded like she was still at work). So I still won't really get my hopes up but I am relieved that at least I'll know what's up tomorrow.

 

[bigfunkychiken]

Too bad that I was talking to one extremely cute girl in front of the bathroom after the end of the lesson, and someone else from the course butted in Who was also pretty nice, but not as interesting. The cute girl left, and the other girl stayed around for a bit of chit chat. And out of thin air she dropped she had a boyfriend. When I was just talking to her, didn't come on to her or anything. Why do that? Next monday should be fun as well. Now to write a decent dialogue. And do you guys think the cute girl will mind if I'm not the bst of the group?

Some people just think they're the shit.

 

[Servbot24]

Yo man, jump her on that kiss she was waiting for you.

she just texted and says she defo wants to see me again so i will get another chance

woah i just realized valentine's day is next week. if this girl works out i wonder what i'm supposed to do for that.

 

[MogCakes]

she just texted and says she defo wants to see me again so i will get another chance

woah i just realized valentine's day is next week. if this girl works out i wonder what i'm supposed to do for that.

Valentines hankypanky. And don't forget flowers.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Their expectations of a good guy is probably pretty high

Usually decent girls over 30 without a man is because they have high standards

These ladies are level headed, smart and fun. They don't give the impression that they have unbelievably high standards at all. They seem to be meeting immature tools from what I can tell and I'm surprised how guys their own age treat them sometimes. I'm lucky, my girl is fantastic, but several of her friends are really great too.

 

[grap3fruitman]

You keep saying you don't have any redeemable qualities and it's clear you're not happy with where you are in your life. What qualities do you admire and aspire to? What qualities do you wish you had? Who is the man that you'd like to be?

I literally just answered this exact question on the same page as the post you quoted.

If you can think about those questions and come up with a list of qualities you think you should possess, or wish you had, you've gotten over the first step. The next thing to do is to chart a road map for yourself to acquire those qualities and get to the place that you want to be. After that, start putting that plan into action.

And what I answered with was "I don't know."

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it will be easy. On the contrary, you first have to want to change. If you truly want to change and become a different person, you then need to get out of your comfort zone and move in that direction.

Everyone on here preaches "Be yourself!" but now it's "Become a different person" that GAF is preaching?

but I needed to stop making excuses and start doing the things that I wanted to do.

Here's what I want to do: I want to not live any more.

As we've told you before, you really shouldn't be looking to date until you've worked on yourself first. When you're in a better place, the dating thing will come easier too.

What the heck does "working on myself" consist of? No one can tell me. They just repeat those words over and over. What am I supposed to do?

I'm sorry your wife left you. At least someone liked you enough to get to that point. No one has liked me. Ever. Do you have any concept of just how utterly miserable that makes me feel? I'm almost 27 and I've never been not shot down. I've never been on a date. I don't have a single friend either. I'm that un-likeable apparently. I just feel horribly empty. I wake up, go to work, mope through that, come home, watch a little tv (and whine on the internet) and then go to bed. That's everyday of my life for the last several years. The internet is my only outlet to talk to anyone.

Unfortunately, I can't drop everything and travel the world, not that I'd like to. I'm stuck in a shitty suburb, working a shitty job to support my sick mother and younger brothers.

 

[Servbot24]

Everyone on here preaches "Be yourself!" but now it's "Become a different person" that GAF is preaching?

You're not the best version of yourself you can be.



And most likely no one likes you because you mope through your day. Honestly, I know it feels shit to have no social life, but when you take that shit out on the rest of the world with a gloomy demeanor, how can you expect them to just suddenly start liking you? No one is obliged to be your friend. You have to give people a reason to do that. Going home, watching TV and whining on the internet is not a reason. If you're not willing to change your routine, make yourself uncomfortable and give something to the world then you probably don't want it that bad and are more interested in self-pity.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

What the heck does "working on myself" consist of? No one can tell me. They just repeat those words over and over. What am I supposed to do?

I'm sorry your wife left you. At least someone liked you enough to get to that point. No one has liked me. Ever. Do you have any concept of just how utterly miserable that makes me feel? I'm almost 27 and I've never been not shot down. I've never been on a date. I don't have a single friend either. I'm that un-likeable apparently. I just feel horribly empty. I wake up, go to work, mope through that, come home, watch a little tv (and whine on the internet) and then go to bed. That's everyday of my life for the last several years. The internet is my only outlet to talk to anyone.

Unfortunately, I can't drop everything and travel the world, not that I'd like to. I'm stuck in a shitty suburb, working a shitty job to support my sick mother and younger brothers.

I gave you a road map for how to work on yourself and you still didn't get it. I pretty much gave you advice on how to approach "working on yourself." Apparently you missed all of that.

Look, you really have two choices. Continue living your life the way it is, and being miserable and unhappy, or try to make changes to improve it and turn things around. (Sorry, suicide is not an option.) Considering how many people have tried to give you advice in here, and you seem unwilling to want to listen, I'd say you're content to continue living your life the way it currently is.

It has been said a dozen times in here, go get some therapy. That seems like it'll be the only thing that can help you. Or, as others have said, go to the depression thread to get some advice at least.

 

[grap3fruitman]

I've stated multiple times that I hate therapists. How did I get to that conclusion unless I've been? I guess maybe that didn't work out, huh? I've asked before: if GAF doesn't have the magic words to make me feel better, what's a therapist going to say or do that's any different?

You didn't give a roadmap to anything. You have your experience of how you dropped everything and went traveling. I told you that I can't do that.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

I've stated multiple times that I hate therapists. How did I get to that conclusion unless I've been? I guess maybe that didn't work out, huh? I've asked before: if GAF doesn't have the magic words to make me feel better, what's a therapist going to say or do that's any different?

Why do you hate them? How many have you seen? Perhaps you just haven't found the right one yet.

And really, you have to ask if GAF can't help you what can a therapist do? Seriously? Posting on an Internet message board is an improvement over talking to a real, live person who wants to listen to what you say and help you work through your problems in person?

You didn't give a roadmap to anything. You have your experience of how you dropped everything and went traveling. I told you that I can't do that.

That's what you got out of what I said? I didn't drop everything to go traveling, but I have managed to work it into my life. I guess you missed the entire part where I talked about identifying where you want to go and working on getting there.

 

[grap3fruitman]

And really, you have to ask if GAF can't help you what can a therapist do? Seriously?

Yes, seriously. You seem to think the rap is some kind of magic force and that therapists have devine powers apparently.

Posting on an Internet message board is an improvement over talking to a real, live person who wants to listen to what you say and help you work through your problems in person?

The therapists I've seen just wanted to accuse me of different things.

I guess you missed the entire part where I talked about identifying where you want to go and working on getting there.

I probably missed it because you didn't mention it at all. Wife left you -> sad -> ?? -> traveling. You skipped a key part and then berate me for not getting the part you skipped.

 

[bigfunkychiken]

I've stated multiple times that I hate therapists. How did I get to that conclusion unless I've been? I guess maybe that didn't work out, huh? I've asked before: if GAF doesn't have the magic words to make me feel better, what's a therapist going to say or do that's any different?

Maybe because therapists are trained and dedicated to helping people--and good at it, mind you.

The therapists I've seen just wanted to accuse me of different things.

Either you were seeing the wrong therapists or your mind twisted/misinterpreted their words.

 

[Pau]

I've stated multiple times that I hate therapists. How did I get to that conclusion unless I've been? I guess maybe that didn't work out, huh? I've asked before: if GAF doesn't have the magic words to make me feel better, what's a therapist going to say or do that's any different?

Maybe try asking maxxpower, a poster who had a similar mindset, but who after (and along with) therapy appears to be in a much better place. And no, not all therapists are good. I've had my share of shitty ones. But they are trained to deal with people who are not in the right state of mind (as you are), unlike the majority of GAF. Are you trying to ask the posters here what they have that you don't? And with the little we know about your life, we can't really offer much advice beyond the generic. Or that advice is useless if you don't actually listen to it.

I will say this, the way in which you are engaging with people doesn't exactly make us feel inclined to help. You are being antagonistic while asking for help. Surely you can see why that isn't a good idea? Yes, you're angry, we know. And those feelings are legitimate. Just don't direct that towards people who are trying to help in anyway they can. Real talk: Do you treat everyone you meet in this way?

I think I made the offer before, and it was ignored so I'm wondering why I'm bothering again, but if you want to PM me and have an actual discussion about depression, self esteem, and dating, I'd be down. I'll tell you now: no magic words are going to make you feel better. The only thing that can make you feel better is change. You can either wait for it until change happens spontaneously (which, isn't guaranteed) or you can try to change some things yourself. I don't know exactly what those things could be RIGHT NOW, because I don't know you, so it'll take some work to figure it out, yeah. But man, at this point, what else do you have to lose?

 

[grap3fruitman]

Either you were seeing the wrong therapists or your mind twisted/misinterpreted their words.

"Are you a Nazi?" Pretty hard to "misinterpret" that. Just because I had "neo" in my email address at the time. It kept coming up. Like what the fuck, guy? Can you focus on what I'm actually saying instead? No? Okay, fuck off. If I waste hundreds of dollars, I'd at least like to have something to show for it.

 

[Pau]

Some people just think they're the shit.

And some people think that any mention of a boyfriend is a calculated move in a conversation. There's no winning though: mention it too soon, and you're a bitch who thinks too highly of herself. Mention it too late, and you must have been hiding it on purpose to try to lead a guy on.

 

[GutsOfThor]

Going to an "Art Crawl" tomorrow night by myself to push myself out of my comfort zone. Not really going with the intent of meeting women(if it happens cool) but instead going with the intent of just meeting new people.

Should be a nice change from my normal Friday night of sitting at home playing games and shit....

 

[RayStorm]

The therapists I've seen just wanted to accuse me of different things.

So aside from what appears to be a Nazi-lunatic, what did the others accuse you of?

I probably missed it because you didn't mention it at all. Wife left you -> sad -> ?? -> traveling. You skipped a key part and then berate me for not getting the part you skipped.

The key part is: He wondered about what he missed in life, which was adventure. He took small steps like going hiking in the woods/mountains, buying a mountain bike etc. It just expanded gradually from those small beginnings to traveling the world.

On a different note, in relationship to friends, how was your childhood? Never had a buddy in kindergarten or school either?

 

[TheVampire]

I need some advice.

I had been chatting to a girl I met on that iphone Tinder dating app.
We chatted on it for a while and then I asked her out to coffee but she said it was a bit too soon and how about we chat some more first.
So we both added each other to Facebook and have been chatting on there for the past week.
I would have asked her out again this weekend or for the next but tomorrow she is going away for two weeks on a holiday.
I said maybe when we comes back we go out and she said that was fine.
She is going away and there will be none or very little phone signal.

So I'm just wondering if during all that time she might loose interest?

Our chats went very well and we have heaps in common and she was always eager to have a conversation.

 

[Idde]

And some people think that any mention of a boyfriend is a calculated move in a conversation. There's no winning though: mention it too soon, and you're a bitch who thinks too highly of herself. Mention it too late, and you must have been hiding it on purpose to try to lead a guy on.

Well, this really came out of nowhere. No idea what we were discussing exactly, but that's why I noticed it. It was completely out of the context of the rest of the conversation. Though if you say it once, that's a clear enough signal, and at least that's something. Was just a bit odd. Now, if I was coming on to her, then it would have been useful.

Going to an "Art Crawl" tomorrow night by myself to push myself out of my comfort zone. Not really going with the intent of meeting women(if it happens cool) but instead going with the intent of just meeting new people.

Should be a nice change from my normal Friday night of sitting at home playing games and shit....

If you can get comfortable doing shit by yourself it's a great way to get out of your comfortzone, and yeah, meet new people. I guess you haven't heard anything about the other girl?

I need some advice.

I had been chatting to a girl I met on that iphone Tinder dating app.
We chatted on it for a while and then I asked her out to coffee but she said it was a bit too soon and how about we chat some more first.
So we both added each other to Facebook and have been chatting on there for the past week.
I would have asked her out again this weekend or for the next but tomorrow she is going away for two weeks on a holiday.
I said maybe when we comes back we go out and she said that was fine.
She is going away and there will be none or very little phone signal.

So I'm just wondering if during all that time she might loose interest?

Our chats went very well and we have heaps in common and she was always eager to have a conversation.

Then it doesn't matter. When she gets back, ask her how her holidays went. Don't contact her in between. If she at least liked talking to you the last couple of days, she'll like talking to you after her vacation. Don't sweat it. But I wouldn't wait on her, don't stop talking to other people.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

I probably missed it because you didn't mention it at all. Wife left you -> sad -> ?? -> traveling. You skipped a key part and then berate me for not getting the part you skipped.

Yes, you definitely missed it, but not because I skipped it.

The key part is: He wondered about what he missed in life, which was adventure. He took small steps like going hiking in the woods/mountains, buying a mountain bike etc. It just expanded gradually from those small beginnings to traveling the world.

THIS! Thank you RayStorm for pointing it out to him, because clearly I wasn't getting through. But then again, no one really has been able to get through, so I'm going to bow out of the conversation.

grap3fruitman: While obviously you are welcome in this thread and we'd love to help you with your dating questions, if you really want GAF to help, at least start in the Mental Health & Depression thread. It will be more suited to what you need right now. A girlfriend is not what you need at the moment.

 

[GutsOfThor]

If you can get comfortable doing shit by yourself it's a great way to get out of your comfortzone, and yeah, meet new people. I guess you haven't heard anything about the other girl?

The girl from Tinder? Nope never heard anything back. I'll be honest, I was down for a few days but what can you do?

Just keep on keeping on.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Going to an "Art Crawl" tomorrow night by myself to push myself out of my comfort zone. Not really going with the intent of meeting women(if it happens cool) but instead going with the intent of just meeting new people.

Should be a nice change from my normal Friday night of sitting at home playing games and shit....

And even if you don't meet anyone, at least you get to see some shitty art.

 

[n64coder]

anyways. shes 23(im 26). for someone her age she is a really poor texter. she cant/has no interest in carrying conversations through text(shes obviously not tech savy). made me feel as if she was not interested in me. but that doesnt seem to be the case. i saw plenty of signs that she was into me on our date. the problem is that we have opposite work schedules. she works 7-3 and i work 3-11(and different days off).

i dont want to keep on with texting that goes nowhere. she will eventually get tired of it and get turned off. but i want her to know that i am interested. she seems a little promiscuous so i dont know whats shes after. she could be seeing other guys so i want to make my mark asap and get her hooked on the man meat that is me.

so communication is minimal other than small talk texting. try flirting through text? should i go for a forceful 2nd date as soon as possible? or wait a week for a night together? if so how much communication should be in between?

If she doesn't like to text, then why not call her on the phone. Yes, make plans for a second date as soon as possible. I would also try to get on a different schedule, 3-11 is a social wasteland schedule.

 

[Servbot24]

I need some advice.

I had been chatting to a girl I met on that iphone Tinder dating app.
We chatted on it for a while and then I asked her out to coffee but she said it was a bit too soon and how about we chat some more first.
So we both added each other to Facebook and have been chatting on there for the past week.
I would have asked her out again this weekend or for the next but tomorrow she is going away for two weeks on a holiday.
I said maybe when we comes back we go out and she said that was fine.
She is going away and there will be none or very little phone signal.

So I'm just wondering if during all that time she might loose interest?

Our chats went very well and we have heaps in common and she was always eager to have a conversation.

Yeah, just to warn you there is a 90% chance she will lose interest. Text her when she gets back just in case, but don't expect anything.

 

[LonelyGreyWolf]

Since then, I have traveled the world and done things that most people only dream of. I've trained kung fu at Shaolin. I've ridden a camel through the Sahara and had dinner in the shadow of the Great Pyramid. I've climbed Kilimanjaro and camped on the Serengeti. I've traveled up the Amazon and spent several nights in the jungle. My journeys have taken me to the Atacama Desert, the driest place on the planet, and on a walking safari in South Africa. I've climbed volcanoes, dove the Great Barrier Reef, and backpacked in the Outback. I've been to Everest Base Camp, snowshoed in the Rockies,and so much more. A decade ago I would have thought those things weren't possible, now they are a way of life. I've even managed to get paid to write about those adventures and often go on them for free. It is amazing how far I've come.

Amazing. I'm studying at a university right now but when I'm done I would love to travel the world. I've been thinking about it a lot. There's some much to see and do! But there are all these issues: responsibility and, of course the biggest issues, money. You said that you could often go for free: that's amazing, but it wasn't always like that, right? Traveling seems expensive. Also, just curious, did/do you travel alone of usually in company?

 

[startyourengine]

I probably shouldn't wade back into these waters again, considering how unwilling you are to take any of the advice given but, here goes...
...
As we've told you before, you really shouldn't be looking to date until you've worked on yourself first. When you're in a better place, the dating thing will come easier too.

hey man, this is very inspirational, i'm in the middle of rediscovering myself, what you've said are exactly what i'm going to do, and there are a lot of fun to be have. cheers mate.

 

[MogCakes]

.

Whoo. That is one hell of a turnaround mate. I have similar aspirations, but for now I need to focus on completing my degree and paying off my student debt.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Amazing. I'm studying at a university right now but when I'm done I would love to travel the world. I've been thinking about it a lot. There's some much to see and do! But there are all these issues: responsibility and, of course the biggest issues, money. You said that you could often go for free: that's amazing, but it wasn't always like that, right? Traveling seems expensive. Also, just curious, did/do you travel alone of usually in company?

No, I didn't alway get to travel for free. I'm a free lance travel writer now, with a day job in IT. But I get invited on trips all of the time, and I met my girlfriend while traveling in Australia last summer. Yes, travel can be expensive, but it is worth it. There is a famous quote that says "Travel is the one thing you pay for that makes you richer." And I agree. Early on, I worked hard, saved my pennies and went when I could. I certainly didn't drop everything to travel the world as grap3fruitman implied.

Sometimes I travel alone, sometimes I go with friends. Usually I make friends while I'm traveling. Good people from all over the world that I stay in touch with. You definitely have to break out of your comfort zone more when you go alone though, but traveling in a developing nation will do that too you anyway.

hey man, this is very inspirational, i'm in the middle of rediscovering myself, what you've said are exactly what i'm going to do, and there are a lot of fun to be have. cheers mate.

Whoo. That is one hell of a turnaround mate. I have similar aspirations, but for now I need to focus on completing my degree and paying off my student debt.

Glad you found something inspirational and helpful from my post. That's why I wrote it. Good luck and thanks for the kind words! You guys have made my day!

 

[Jhoan]

A little more than 12 years ago my wife left me. She just decided that she didn't want to be married any more and picked up her bags and left with about five days notice. Poof, she was gone from my life. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and for a year and a half, I was miserable. But after I got clear, I started thinking about how I wished my life were different. I wanted to have more adventure in my life. I wanted to be active and go places. I wanted to travel and see the world. I was already going to the gym and was in good shape, but I needed to stop making excuses and start doing the things that I wanted to do.

It started small at first. I went hiking and camping. I started trail running. I bought a mountain bike and learned to ride. I added a couple of kayaks to my collection. It was not only great fun, it brought me out of my funk and helped me to meet more people. I got my confidence back and I started living life he way I wanted to live it. I was happy.

Since then, I have traveled the world and done things that most people only dream of. I've trained kung fu at Shaolin. I've ridden a camel through the Sahara and had dinner in the shadow of the Great Pyramid. I've climbed Kilimanjaro and camped on the Serengeti. I've traveled up the Amazon and spent several nights in the jungle. My journeys have taken me to the Atacama Desert, the driest place on the planet, and on a walking safari in South Africa. I've climbed volcanoes, dove the Great Barrier Reef, and backpacked in the Outback. I've been to Everest Base Camp, snowshoed in the Rockies,and so much more. A decade ago I would have thought those things weren't possible, now they are a way of life. I've even managed to get paid to write about those adventures and often go on them for free. It is amazing how far I've come.

In short, I practice what I preach and know that it can turn things around. But you have to stop making excuses and telling us how awful your life is. Commit to making a change and then get started on going there. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it.

As we've told you before, you really shouldn't be looking to date until you've worked on yourself first. When you're in a better place, the dating thing will come easier too.

Out of curiosity how did you get the gig? Did you feel lost one day and said "Fuck it I'm gonna go scale a mountain" to break out of the monotony of your life? The reason I ask is because I'll be graduating from college at the end of this semester and whenever former professors and friends ask me what I plan on doing, I tell them I have no idea. Since I draw, I was thinking about posting my portfolio on a Tumblr page and do freelance work. For all intents and purposes, this would be beneficial to lurkers as well.

Going to an "Art Crawl" tomorrow night by myself to push myself out of my comfort zone. Not really going with the intent of meeting women(if it happens cool) but instead going with the intent of just meeting new people.

Should be a nice change from my normal Friday night of sitting at home playing games and shit....

That's fantastic man, it's always good to take risks and socialize with people. You feel good about it. I'm going to a Speed Dating event at my college because again, the "fuck it" mantra works. Only this time around, I'll be pairing myself up with the first woman I see as opposed to a dude last time I did it. It'll be fun. Look forward to seeing your follow up post.

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

I don't understand these females. I feel kind of bad as old as I am I haven't even held a girl's hand let alone a kiss or sex and I really hate how I feel on Valentine's Day every year especially when my birthday's so close to it.

I come like a gentleman, but I'm treated like a jerk. I don't understand if they're not interested why they won't just tell me that instead of doing that shit why give me the number in the first place. One actually said you got heart , but wouldn't give me the number, then two days later turned around and gave me the number, then whenever I asked to do something she always had some excuse. Even saw her at an event that she told me she wasn't going to. Truth was she just didn't want to go with me. No apologies from the sista or anything.

And I've had plenty more cases like that. I had a friend told me that women just give out numbers because they're just feeding their ego and I'm allowing it by continuing to talk to them after they've done that shit to me. I'm giving this shit one more shot. If that shit happens again I'm through. No point in torturing myself.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Out of curiosity how did you get the gig? Did you feel lost one day and said "Fuck it I'm gonna go scale a mountain" to break out of the monotony of your life? The reason I ask is because I'll be graduating from college at the end of this semester and whenever former professors and friends ask me what I plan on doing, I tell them I have no idea. Since I draw, I was thinking about posting my portfolio on a Tumblr page and do freelance work. For all intents and purposes, this would be beneficial to lurkers as well.

The writing gig? I got that years after I went through the issues I wrote about earlier. I've only been travel writing for about four or five years, but that came about after I launched my own blog first. And the idea to write the blog came from all of the other "adventurous" activities that I already had an interest in.

If you're asking how I got interested in travel and outdoor activities, the best I can say is that even as a child I loved geography and reading about far flung places. Loved looking at photos of amazing destinations and dreamed of going there. After going through the crap with my ex-wife, I said "Fuck it! I'm going to find a way to go to those places!" And that's where I am today.

Just as a point of reference, I got an invite this morning to go trekking in Pakistan this summer. Not sure I'll be able to get away, but I'd love to go do it!

 

[Deleted member 47027]

I don't understand these females. I feel kind of bad as old as I am I haven't even held a girl's hand let alone a kiss or sex and I really hate how I feel on Valentine's Day every year especially when my birthday's so close to it.

I come like a gentleman, but I'm treated like a jerk. I don't understand if they're not interested why they won't just tell me that instead of doing that shit why give me the number in the first place. One actually said you got heart , but wouldn't give me the number, then two days later turned around and gave me the number, then whenever I asked to do something she always had some excuse. Even saw her at an event that she told me she wasn't going to. Truth was she just didn't want to go with me. No apologies from the sista or anything.

And I've had plenty more cases like that. I had a friend told me that women just give out numbers because they're just feeding their ego and I'm allowing it by continuing to talk to them after they've done that shit to me. I'm giving this shit one more shot. If that shit happens again I'm through. No point in torturing myself.

brah it takes time, for sure - and I know, "why I gotta wait?" but these things do take time.

One of the reasons why people kinda string others along is it's a safe way to reject someone. And they've probably rejected someone outright, which is how you and other very normal people are, but you do a straight up rejection to a creep? Then they'll haunt the fuck out of someone. So, while it may suck, gotta consider you don't know what kind of shit happened before - and just take the L and move on.

Keep casting your line. You'll find someone who isn't into mind games and shit like that, and you'll just know. You'll know who's on the level.

 

[PBY]

I don't understand these females. I feel kind of bad as old as I am I haven't even held a girl's hand let alone a kiss or sex and I really hate how I feel on Valentine's Day every year especially when my birthday's so close to it.

I come like a gentleman, but I'm treated like a jerk. I don't understand if they're not interested why they won't just tell me that instead of doing that shit why give me the number in the first place. One actually said you got heart , but wouldn't give me the number, then two days later turned around and gave me the number, then whenever I asked to do something she always had some excuse. Even saw her at an event that she told me she wasn't going to. Truth was she just didn't want to go with me. No apologies from the sista or anything.

And I've had plenty more cases like that. I had a friend told me that women just give out numbers because they're just feeding their ego and I'm allowing it by continuing to talk to them after they've done that shit to me. I'm giving this shit one more shot. If that shit happens again I'm through. No point in torturing myself.

Man. Your perspective is all fucked. Girls don't owe you anything. If they don't like you, whatever. Your approaching this completely wrong, starting from "I'm a gentleman, why isn't this working".

 

[Dilly]

Dude, totally know that feel. I just can't wrap my brain around having a relationship but not actually liking the person enough to stay with them.

That's why I'm so stuck on this one girl I mentioned a few pages back. She's just so sweet and we've been spending more time together recently and we just seem to be so comfortable together. We've talked about our ideal relationships to pass the time and maybe it was wishful thinking, but it just seemed like we were perfect for each other. We even talked about some of our emotional baggage, which she said she hasn't been able to tell anyone but her boyfriend, but even then that it was difficult for her, but not with me.

Its funny because my last post was really just a half - joking vent kinda deal, and I moved on after a couple days. Then she started talking about how she thinks she's in love and that her boyfriend is "the one", which was great and I was glad for her except that a couple days later she seemed kinda down and unsure about it again since they've apperantely been having issues. So now I've got hope again and I can't sleep >.<

On a whim to try and cheer her up (like I said she was kinda down) I bought her and a friend of ours tickets to a symphony that they were considering but didn't want to spend the money on (#brokecollegekidlife, I'm working this semester so I have the extra money ). She jokingly acted mad but said she thought that was secretly "super cute". Course the plan backfired when she figured out how much money the tickets cost and she realized I wasn't going, and she bought me a seat too. So now I just feel like a dick lol. Looking forward to it though.

I feel like, given the chance, we could do really well by each other. *sigh* Hopefully this whole situation becomes clearer soon. I need to be able to sleep again >.<

I've been there so many, many times. Tell her what's up, cut ties and eventually get back into a healthy, friendly relationship with her if you can and still want to.

Whatever you're doing now, it will screw you on the long term. And don't buy random gifts.

 

[NeOak]

I've been there so many, many times. Tell her what's up, cut ties and eventually get back into a healthy, friendly relationship with her if you can and still want to.

Whatever you're doing now, it will screw you on the long term. And don't buy random gifts.

This. Thiiiiiiiiiiiiis.

 

[SictorVullivan]

So on this tuesday coming up I'm going to speed dating event at my university, it's the first time I've done anything like this really, and I'm getting a little nervous about. So I was just here looking for any tips that GAF could give me?

My current train of thought it is that if anything goes horribly wrong then it wont be end of the world obviously, but it's something I'd like to come away from feeling atleast a little bit pleased about.

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

Man. Your perspective is all fucked. Girls don't owe you anything. If they don't like you, whatever. Your approaching this completely wrong, starting from "I'm a gentleman, why isn't this working".

Eh, if I do somebody wrong and I know it I apologize. That's just the ethical thing to do and how I was raised. People tell me that I probably apologize too much, but I just don't like hurting anyone and I want to be respectful if I'm given respect.

 

[stn]

Eh, if I do somebody wrong and I know it I apologize. That's just the ethical thing to do and how I was raised. People tell me that I probably apologize too much, but I just don't like hurting anyone and I want to be respectful if I'm given respect.

Your approach is bad, dude. The fact is that dating is not ideal and rarely conforms to ideal principles and standards. Yes, the girl who's not interested in you shouldn't string you along if her interest isn't genuine. Then you remember that people are human.

Its good to be respectful but make sure you don't let people walk over you. If it happens that some girl strings you along next time, let her know immediately and make it clear that her behavior is unacceptable. Then, move on! They key is to always move on and make sure the negative experience of a past situation doesn't affect you in the next one.

Just because some girl strings you along doesn't mean the next one will. Also, given people in general you're always much more likely to meet a jerk as opposed to a cool girl (this is true for men, too). The average person will not give a shit if they're stringing you along or giving you their number.

Some girls just give their number because they're too passive/shy/whatever to reject you face-to-face. Just move on. And stop analyzing why it happens, that is largely irrelevant. Many guys spend so much time analyzing why certain women do certain things when the answer for all the questions is usually the same: she's not into you.

Finally, don't give up. You want to enjoy the company of a cool girl who has lots to share? Better be ready to get out there and keep trying. Very rarely is it easy for anyone, the key is not to be discouraged.

 

[GutsOfThor]

That's fantastic man, it's always good to take risks and socialize with people. You feel good about it. I'm going to a Speed Dating event at my college because again, the "fuck it" mantra works. Only this time around, I'll be pairing myself up with the first woman I see as opposed to a dude last time I did it. It'll be fun. Look forward to seeing your follow up post.

Thanks! I really have to adapt the "fuck it" mantra more lol. Good luck with your event!

And even if you don't meet anyone, at least you get to see some shitty art.

Exactly!

 

[bigfunkychiken]

"Are you a Nazi?" Pretty hard to "misinterpret" that. Just because I had "neo" in my email address at the time. It kept coming up. Like what the fuck, guy? Can you focus on what I'm actually saying instead? No? Okay, fuck off. If I waste hundreds of dollars, I'd at least like to have something to show for it.

Then see option 1.

 

[Pogonip]

Hey Dating-GAF, I could use some advice. I'm very inexperienced in the whole dating and relationships department (I'm a late bloomer) so I'm having trouble coping with a current situation. Don't judge me too harshly

I met a girl in my program a few nights ago and we hit it off well. We joked around and there was some physicality (minor snuggling and hugging) and I got her number as well, although we were definitely both fairly drunk. Since then we've had some fairly minor and insignificant conversation through text so far, and I've also added her on Facebook as a friend but she hasn't accepted yet despite her being active on it and liking/posting stuff on our group we're in. Despite this I'm still getting texts back from her.

The whole situation is really messing my head around. I haven't actually talked to her in person since that night. I have no idea if she's really into me, playing hard to get or just playing it nice until I decide to give up. I like her and want to pursue, but trying to decipher the current situation (something I know I shouldn't do, but easier said than done) is disrupting my life a bit and giving me unnecessary stress and anxiety. There is an event tonight that I'm going to and she'll supposedly will be there (confirmed via text) so I may be able to talk with her in person and figure out what's going on.

Anyways I just need advice, mainly on coping with the possible thought of rejection and how to calm myself down about the whole situation. I know this whole post may sound pathetic to people who are more seasoned in the dating and relationships scene, but just bear with me!

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

brah it takes time, for sure - and I know, "why I gotta wait?" but these things do take time.

One of the reasons why people kinda string others along is it's a safe way to reject someone. And they've probably rejected someone outright, which is how you and other very normal people are, but you do a straight up rejection to a creep? Then they'll haunt the fuck out of someone. So, while it may suck, gotta consider you don't know what kind of shit happened before - and just take the L and move on.

Keep casting your line. You'll find someone who isn't into mind games and shit like that, and you'll just know. You'll know who's on the level.

appreciate that bruh

 

[Servbot24]

Hey Dating-GAF, I could use some advice. I'm very inexperienced in the whole dating and relationships department (I'm a late bloomer) so I'm having trouble coping with a current situation. Don't judge me too harshly

I met a girl in my program a few nights ago and we hit it off well. We joked around and there was some physicality (minor snuggling and hugging) and I got her number as well, although we were definitely both fairly drunk. Since then we've had some fairly minor and insignificant conversation through text so far, and I've also added her on Facebook as a friend but she hasn't accepted yet despite her being active on it and liking/posting stuff on our group we're in. Despite this I'm still getting texts back from her.

The whole situation is really messing my head around. I haven't actually talked to her in person since that night. I have no idea if she's really into me, playing hard to get or just playing it nice until I decide to give up. I like her and want to pursue, but trying to decipher the current situation (something I know I shouldn't do, but easier said than done) is disrupting my life a bit and giving me unnecessary stress and anxiety. There is an event tonight that I'm going to and she'll supposedly will be there (confirmed via text) so I may be able to talk with her in person and figure out what's going on.

Anyways I just need advice, mainly on coping with the possible thought of rejection and how to calm myself down about the whole situation. I know this whole post may sound pathetic to people who are more seasoned in the dating and relationships scene, but just bear with me!

she's most likely not interested m8. don't fall all over her at your thing, just be cool and if something happens that's great but try not to think about it much.

 

[GutsOfThor]

Hey Dating-GAF, I could use some advice. I'm very inexperienced in the whole dating and relationships department (I'm a late bloomer) so I'm having trouble coping with a current situation. Don't judge me too harshly

I met a girl in my program a few nights ago and we hit it off well. We joked around and there was some physicality (minor snuggling and hugging) and I got her number as well, although we were definitely both fairly drunk. Since then we've had some fairly minor and insignificant conversation through text so far, and I've also added her on Facebook as a friend but she hasn't accepted yet despite her being active on it and liking/posting stuff on our group we're in. Despite this I'm still getting texts back from her.

The whole situation is really messing my head around. I haven't actually talked to her in person since that night. I have no idea if she's really into me, playing hard to get or just playing it nice until I decide to give up. I like her and want to pursue, but trying to decipher the current situation (something I know I shouldn't do, but easier said than done) is disrupting my life a bit and giving me unnecessary stress and anxiety. There is an event tonight that I'm going to and she'll supposedly will be there (confirmed via text) so I may be able to talk with her in person and figure out what's going on.

Anyways I just need advice, mainly on coping with the possible thought of rejection and how to calm myself down about the whole situation. I know this whole post may sound pathetic to people who are more seasoned in the dating and relationships scene, but just bear with me!

Sounds to me that she's not interested man. I could be wrong but all the signs are there.

Rejection is nothing to fear! If something happens then great, if it doesn't well then your life doesn't change right?

 

[Jhoan]

The writing gig? I got that years after I went through the issues I wrote about earlier. I've only been travel writing for about four or five years, but that came about after I launched my own blog first. And the idea to write the blog came from all of the other "adventurous" activities that I already had an interest in.

If you're asking how I got interested in travel and outdoor activities, the best I can say is that even as a child I loved geography and reading about far flung places. Loved looking at photos of amazing destinations and dreamed of going there. After going through the crap with my ex-wife, I said "Fuck it! I'm going to find a way to go to those places!" And that's where I am today.

Just as a point of reference, I got an invite this morning to go trekking in Pakistan this summer. Not sure I'll be able to get away, but I'd love to go do it!

Awesome man. That's a fantastic turn around. Need to save money to do some traveling to another country. Thanks for sharing. It goes to show that you can do what you love and make a living off of it if you believe in it.

Thanks! I really have to adapt the "fuck it" mantra more lol. Good luck with your event!

This brings me to my update. A funny thing about that. I didn't go. Why you guys might ask? Because life through me a curveball.

I was in the cafeteria talking to my friend and killing time for said event when a cute Asian girl interrupted our conversation and asked what game I was playing on my Gold 3DS XL. I told her I was playing the StreetPass games, asked if she was a Zelda fan that she had a Triforce messenger bag which led to a conversation about video games, NY Comic Con, cosplaying, and drawing.

It got to the point where the girl was so interested, that she eventually took a seat. My friend was helping me wing it by telling me via text mid conversation to get her number since she was into me. She laughed at all my jokes, asked about us, and was nervous in a cute way since she spoke rather quickly.

Any way, eventually 5:30PM rolls around; at one point a dude walks into the cafeteria to suggest checking out the Speed Dating event. I ignore it and continue conversing with her. My friend eventually suggests that we get pizza at the nearby pizzeria. I noticed she had a fascinating tattoo on her chest and asked about it (she designed it herself). We talk some more there when my friend makes his exit and goes home leaving the two of us. We continue conversing some more a few minutes until she says she has at 8PM (by this point it was 7PM).

So I walked her to the subway station, making more jokes, and touching her head since she was shorter than me. and ask when she's free so we can hang out. She knew what I was thinking, so she gives me her number. I texted her on the spot, talked to her some more, eventually told her I should let her go meet her friend. She eventually reached above ground that she texted me. We're still texting right this moment.

So by sacrificing an event where I had the potential to meet many girls, I made this girl's courageous effort to talk to me worth it and it was. Like I said, she's cute and we have a lot in common which is great. My friend was happy for me when I told him I get her number. I'll suggest hanging out soon and see where it goes.

 

[GutsOfThor]

Awesome man. That's a fantastic turn around. Need to save money to do some traveling to another country. Thanks for sharing. It goes to show that you can do what you love and make a living off of it if you believe in it.

This brings me to my update. A funny thing about that. I didn't go. Why you guys might ask? Because life through me a curveball.

I was in the cafeteria talking to my friend and killing time for said event when a cute Asian girl interrupted our conversation and asked what game I was playing on my Gold 3DS XL. I told her I was playing the StreetPass games, asked if she was a Zelda fan that she had a Triforce messenger bag which led to a conversation about video games, NY Comic Con, cosplaying, and drawing.

It got to the point where the girl was so interested, that she eventually took a seat. My friend was helping me wing it by telling me via text mid conversation to get her number since she was into me. She laughed at all my jokes, asked about us, and was nervous in a cute way since she spoke rather quickly.

Any way, eventually 5:30PM rolls around; at one point a dude walks into the cafeteria to suggest checking out the Speed Dating event. I ignore it and continue conversing with her. My friend eventually suggests that we get pizza at the nearby pizzeria. I noticed she had a fascinating tattoo on her chest and asked about it (she designed it herself). We talk some more there when my friend makes his exit and goes home leaving the two of us. We continue conversing some more a few minutes until she says she has at 8PM (by this point it was 7PM).

So I walked her to the subway station, making more jokes, and touching her head since she was shorter than me. and ask when she's free so we can hang out. She knew what I was thinking, so she gives me her number. I texted her on the spot, talked to her some more, eventually told her I should let her go meet her friend. She eventually reached above ground that she texted me. We're still texting right this moment.

So by sacrificing an event an event I had the potential to meet many girls, I made this girl's courageous effort to talk to me worth it and it was. Like I said, she's cute and we have a lot in common which is great. My friend was happy for me when I told him I get her number. I'll suggest hanging out soon and see where it goes.

Nice! Good luck man! I'm happy for you!

Life threw me a curveball as well and I didn't get to go to my event tonight either. It came in the form of a terrible allergy attack. My nose and eyes have been running like faucets and I've been sneezing a ton every couple minutes for the past several hours. Sucks but oh well there's always tomorrow night.

 

[movie_club]

;lm

 

[DutchNeon]

grap3fruitman,

Do you got spare time outside work?

You are on NeoGAF so you must like games. What else do you like? Don't go all "I don't like anything"... You're active on this gaming forum and you watch TV on a regular base after work. What genres / type of games?

I myself was lacking a solid hobby and i'm heavily interested into military history and weapon history. I also like gaming and playing shooters.
I combined that to search for a solid hobby. That lead to Airsoft, something that was legalized recently here in The Netherlands.

Googled a bit around and found a growing Dutch Airsoft club. They would state when they would go somewhere and which members would come. So... I created an account, starting being active on their forums and recently went to an Airsoft event alone.
Mind you, they would be there too. At the event I dressed myself up in military gear and searched for them before the event started. I found them, greeted them and stated who I was etc. Played an entire afternoon with them. Afterwards we went to a McDonalds with some of the members.

Did I got a girlfriend through this? No. Did I make new friends through this with the same passion? yes. Did I got a new hobby? yes. And all this due internet and me visiting the same event as them alone.

Can you turn this into your own story? Look for an event or whatever that is related to something you like. Gaming, watching a specific genre of movie on TV etc? Google for clubs or whatnot related to it and try to visit an event they attend. It's no shame to go alone there. You might make new friends and have a new hobby?

Through those friends you could make new friends. And through those even more. Maybe even a girlfriend? I wouldn't focus on the later though and start with a way to combine something you like with social contacts with others. In the end they'll have the same interest as you on that matter.

 

[BlackWaltz]

Sooo... tomorrow I'm hanging out with a girl I've gone out with a couple of times. The plan is to watch a movie and maybe make some food together. It seemed like a good setup for a first kiss if the opportunity presented itself. The problem is last night I started to get a cold sore for the first time in what seems like two years. Now I'm racking my brain trying to decide if and how I should address it. Obviously I could cancel, but I really like her and want to hang out regardless of there being no chance at any sort of action until my lip is healed. Am I overthinking this? Any advice?