I usually stress this, to not care about the "friendzone", so I'll give my two cents.
The basic problem with it, is that it carries on A LOT of negative implications. When I say "there is no friendzone" I literally mean it in the way the kid-monk talks about the spoon in Matrix: that's a concept which exists only in guys' heads, that guys make real by talking about it and in doing so creating obstacles for themselves. I could have also paraphrased After Earth, but I wouldn't do that even to my worst enemy XD
1) Implies a friendship with a girl is basically meaningless, of no value at all. Consequently it means that not only one isn't able to attract girls, but he is also unable to manage a simple friendship with them. Every guy who has at least ONE girl as a friend should absolutely drop this word.
People will tackle this in a logical way, saying that to them friendship with a girl isn't meaningless, the fact is words are about communication and in communication one cannot control the outcome of the interaction, because what a guy considers friendship and what I consider friendship and what some other girl considers friendship are three different things, shaped by our experiences and by the way we process them. So unless someone's using "friendzone" strictly on the internet, the very fact of using this awful term will blow away chances with possible girlfriends and will also change the way girls in a guy's life perceive him.
No, I'm not one of those horrible people who say that a friendship with a girl is better than a friendship with a guy, but there are definitely unique features in friendships with girls that makes no sense to do without.
2) Implies a guy was never after anything remotely tied to her personality.
People will rationalize this in every way they see fit to look like they weren't interested about the looks of a girl, but again: if the girl one likes so much is so cool, and so friendly, and so smart, which are appealing qualities no matter what, why didn't he keep her around after she rejected him? Her coolness, friendliness or her smarts shouldn't magically grow or wither because she does or doesn't want to have sex with him.
Thinking that somehow a girl who wants a guy as friend (either because she really wants to or because it's the least harmful way of get him out of her air) does so because she doesn't care about him at all, or doesn't find him interesting at all, is a mind-set that will keep a guy shooting himself in the foot. Between what people say and what they really want, there's a very big, wide gap.
3) Implies human relationships are somehow fixed and that you have a role you cannot breakthrough. Especially for people who are into the so-called self-improvement, thinking along these lines of "she rejects me now, so she will reject me forever" puts someone in a position where he thinks people will judge him in terms of absolutes. How many times a teacher who thought you were nothing more than a nuisance started investing in you after you showed him/her some willingness to learn? how many times we meet a guy and at first we think "what a douche", "what a tool", "what a simp" and then we reconsider our judgment after we actually get to know him?
This is basically the opposite problem that guys have in relationships when they stop putting effort because all the "official" steps have been taken by the girl: you had sex with her, she told you "I love you", she is interested in all the things you do, even the ones which are not "girly" or akin to her personality (or at least, the way you perceive her personality to be) and so a guy starts to think it's safe to assume she will never leave him XD.
Once at that point, a guy thinks all the hard-work is done and it's time to fart and burp all the time like it's something to take pride into, to talk about the way you fuck her to all your friends so the next time they see her they greet her with a smirk which leaves her puzzled, to have her listen to each and every single one of your theories about the world, people, women (because you know EVERYTHING), and to blatantly ogle other girls in front of her because, hey, the Man is a hunter.
As I've said before: a girlfriend can change her opinion of you overtime and leave you, in the same fashion a friend can change her opinion of you overtime and decide to be your girlfriend.
Social interactions are dynamic and the way we perceive ourselves and others changes every day. That is to say, if you get out of the house from time to time XD
In the end, the friend-zone is a death-sentence only if someone make it out to be so.
4) It's a self-defeating argument.
A guy automatically associates being friends with a girl as being some sort second-rate citizen: "I can't give you sex, but hey I'll smile at you and say hi if you really can't be away from me AT ALL".
What if a girl really would like you as a friend? why would someone outright think that's a definitive sentence of one's own value? there's plenty of girls (I'm sure everyone has seen this) who actually value the friendship with their girlfriends MORE then the relationship they have with their boyfriend. Is it impossible to think a girl can value her male-friends more then the boyfriend she is actually dating? Have we never heard of a girl saying "all my best friends are guys"?
The idea that if a girl doesn't have sex with you doesn't take you seriously is ludicrous. It's like dividing all the girls in the world between A- the ones who (would) have sex with me and B- the girls who didn't and never will.
I mean, no guy goes around asking his friends "hey dude, do you think you would fuck me?" just to make sure that they REALLY like him XD At least I hope so XD.
These are the days of politically correct. Society dictate the things which you can say and the ones you can't, asking you to adapt as fast as you can through a barrage of information and sensory overload. So our true instincts come out in the characters we like (all those modern anti-hero like Tony Soprano, Don Draper, Walter White, Vick Mackie and their even more sinister versions like Littlefinger, Francis Underwood and Hannibal Lecter) in the comedians we like (those passive aggressive raging white guys like Louis C.K, Larry David or Denis Leary) and the games we play (it's funny to see how many people who post stuff about some horrible war tragedy ALSO play games like Call of Duty in absolute denial of what is the instinct they are feeding into).
Using terms like "female", "friend-zone", "a 10", "chick", "slut", has the only counterproductive result of make someone look like a macho who elaborated a form of slang to (be)rate girls and especially the girls who refuse him, as the only stratagem to keep his dignity intact. Forget the existence of sites like Beatiful People: nowadays everyone has to be a good bureaucrat and learn that how you say something is MORE important than what you say.
So let's assume for a brief moment (very brief) the "friend-zone" does exist: in today's world it's bad business to claim so. Politically correct is the science of impunity: you can
do whatever you want as long as you
say the right, polite thing. People who underestimate the value of politically correct and see it as a cage instead of a social lubricant (like a fine wine or a cold beer), will keep trapping their emotions inside themselves unable to deal with their rage, their horniness and their ambition, while idolizing the (fictional) men who let it all out and crush everything and everyone in their way, Eisenberg-style.
I should post in that thread more/at all. It's in my subscriptions...
