My milkshake brings all the mods to the yard...

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....Paul?
 
I once wrote a 200 page fanfic about how blame space wasn't a mod and was still more well known than the majority of mods here. He was a gruff but likeable anti-hero and deserved the position, but didn't get it because reasons. It took place before the founding of NeoGAF.

This never happened, but it should
 
Easy. Y2Kev's melts Opiate's cold robotic heart.

Okay then.

The room was dark, illuminated only by the faint light of the computer screen. Rain drops pounded against the window pane, and the thunder roared overhead. A man sat at the computer, with a mug filled with steaming liquid. The mug read "#1 Mod" in big, orange letters.

Click, click, click went the mouse in the man's hand as he scrolled through countless threads and moronic posts. He sighed. Being a mod was no easy task, especially for the Beast's Souls of Moderators.

The man refreshed the page, and his eyes darted to the upper right hand corner of the screen. A bright orange envelope shone brightly. The man smiled. He loved getting personal messages. The high that the orange envelope brought him was a feeling that could not be matched. He waited a moment, savoring the sight before his eyes. And then, when he couldn't wait any longer, he brought his cursor up to the envelope, and clicked.

The message that was waiting for him made him smile wider.

TO BE CONTINUED.
 
What is with all these fucking name changes.

Anyways, I remember a time where I think I accidentally gave false info to a mod. He didn't catch it, and I didn't either until I was looking back over some dates and realized that wikipedia doesn't necessarily have the greatest accuracy in directly transferring information from their sources,
 
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