I used to be in the same boat, plugging my ears and shouting an ideology over reality and the genuine experiences of my fellow real human beings. You take comfort in the groupthink and despise the whistleblowers. It took some seriously hurtful personal experiences to shake me and make me want to be a better listener. Feminists have seriously good points and we should listen to the them and take them seriously, and games can be an amazing and powerful tool to appeal to human empathy to effectively address their grievances, not just in the indie space, but throughout the craft we love.
this is basically what happened for myself as well. i feel a lot better about myself these days but really regret the years i spent not empathizing with people who tried to get me to listen.