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[Llyranor]

I once lived in a house share with 3 guys one of the guys I never saw eye to eye with we were both alphas etc you get the gist...

anyway my self and the other two guys went and got drunk/high at a friends whilst the other guy was working, we were out late and part way through the evening when the guy got home he sent me a shitty text about the state of the house it pissed us all off.

But it pissed me off even more when I got home I found a bottle of squash (an undiluted juice drink) I proceeded to whip my cock out and urinate in to the bottle by the time I'd finished it was nicely topped up.

A day later he returned from work and grabbed a nice big glass of juice, I was grinning so much.

Until the weekend when his family visited and I was greeted by his much younger brother and sister both sipping glasses of squash.

I can't imagine what my face must of looked like.

You were meant to send this by email

 

[Gamble]

I once lived in a house share with 3 guys one of the guys I never saw eye to eye with we were both alphas etc you get the gist...

anyway my self and the other two guys went and got drunk/high at a friends whilst the other guy was working, we were out late and part way through the evening when the guy got home he sent me a shitty text about the state of the house it pissed us all off.

But it pissed me off even more when I got home I found a bottle of squash (an undiluted juice drink) I proceeded to whip my cock out and urinate in to the bottle by the time I'd finished it was nicely topped up.

A day later he returned from work and grabbed a nice big glass of juice, I was grinning so much.

Until the weekend when his family visited and I was greeted by his much younger brother and sister both sipping glasses of squash.

I can't imagine what my face must of looked like.

something like this perhaps?

 

[User1608]

.

You certainly pissed off a bunch of people.

 

[brokenbeans]

You were meant to send this by email

Ah ok so that's the anonymous part.

 

[Quonny]

Fake as hell, but a good story.

 

[daveo42]

I'm surprised you didn't try to blackmail him on the spot. Why sit on it at all if you could just get your money back from this scammer and still release that video to the world? He's a fucking scammer, they deserve zero mercy in my book.

I once lived in a house share with 3 guys one of the guys I never saw eye to eye with we were both alphas etc you get the gist...

anyway my self and the other two guys went and got drunk/high at a friends whilst the other guy was working, we were out late and part way through the evening when the guy got home he sent me a shitty text about the state of the house it pissed us all off.

But it pissed me off even more when I got home I found a bottle of squash (an undiluted juice drink) I proceeded to whip my cock out and urinate in to the bottle by the time I'd finished it was nicely topped up.

A day later he returned from work and grabbed a nice big glass of juice, I was grinning so much.

Until the weekend when his family visited and I was greeted by his much younger brother and sister both sipping glasses of squash.

I can't imagine what my face must of looked like.

Holy fuck dude. That's some gnarly shit there.

 

[brokenbeans]

Fake as hell, but a good story.

If you are referring to me I wish it was.

Ed - it actually was Robinsons.

 

[Sagely]

Peeing in the squash, what a great story! I love how petty it is. Can't help but imagine you angrily peeing into a giant bottle of Robinsons and thinking "that'll show him".

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

Don't send the info to Morocco, bud. Just get rid of it. Blackmailing him with that is just heartless.

I once lived in a house share with 3 guys one of the guys I never saw eye to eye with we were both alphas etc you get the gist...

anyway my self and the other two guys went and got drunk/high at a friends whilst the other guy was working, we were out late and part way through the evening when the guy got home he sent me a shitty text about the state of the house it pissed us all off.

But it pissed me off even more when I got home I found a bottle of squash (an undiluted juice drink) I proceeded to whip my cock out and urinate in to the bottle by the time I'd finished it was nicely topped up.

A day later he returned from work and grabbed a nice big glass of juice, I was grinning so much.

Until the weekend when his family visited and I was greeted by his much younger brother and sister both sipping glasses of squash.

I can't imagine what my face must of looked like.

Uh...

 

[Patryn]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

Stop talking to the guy, ditch the evidence, move on.

Even if you did blow him up with what you gathered, do you have any idea what the blowback on you would be? Beyond the video being sent to your family? Dude knows generally where you live and who you are, and has "agents" of some sort or another. Who's to say that someone doesn't pay you a visit?

That's playing with fire. You got burnt for being an idiot. Learn the lesson that you shouldn't be camming with total strangers and anything that's on video has the ability to get out in public and move on.

 

[Par Score]

This guy is really fucking dumb.

Oh yeah, that guy who scammed you out of a few hundred bucks is the dumb one.

 

[Acorn]

Peeing in the squash, what a great story! I love how petty it is. Can't help but imagine you angrily peeing into a giant bottle of Robinsons and thinking "that'll show him".

I peed in Robinsons in my time. Fuck you henman.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

If you are referring to me I wish it was.

Ed - it actually was Robinsons.

It's OK I've unrinated in someone's drink before. But if she was so stupid as to accept a drink from the person she tried to get sacked not an hour before then more fool her.

 

[Patryn]

Let me also add that I appreciate the way you're spacing out the confessions, NTGYK. I like that they're pretty much all getting some decent responses as opposed to just falling into the ether.

 

[IronRinn]

Damn dude. If you want revenge take it, if you don't, don't pretend you're gonna sit on this for some 'perfect moment'

I don't know what to say about this confession. On one hand, I agree with you, on the other if he does this dude is in for way more of a world of hurt than the confessor who lost $400.

I'm trying to think if I would pay $400 to not have people see me jerking off.

Edit: Pissing in someone's drink because they made a comment regarding housekeeping? What the hell? Talk about fucking overkill.

 

[Symphonia]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

Well, damn, I honestly don't know what to say. How can someone be as stupid as to show face before cock, then proceed to pay to have the 'evidence' deleted? Dude, this is just...yeah.

 

[daveo42]

I don't know what to say about this confession. On one hand, I agree with you, on the other if he does this dude is in for way more of a world of hurt than the confessor who lost $400.

I'm trying to think if I would pay $400 to not have people see me jerking off.

Depends on how much money you have in the bank. Plus, as stated by the confessor, there was little chance the scammer would actually follow through with it. The threat is just there to entice you into paying out.

 

[Arkos]

Reverse Blackmailer was pretty epic. Don't fuck with DetectiveGAF, people.

 

[Panthalassic]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

This story is so bizarre lol, but also, the penalty in Morocco is jail time for 6 months to 3 years so...

 

[Stuart444]

I say don't release the video but threaten to, get back your money and then some. I'd say 800 should cover it. Your 400 plus an extra 400.

Checkmate. Tell him once you have the money that you won't release it, and then delete it (maybe keep it for a few months incase he still has that video of you and sends it to people you know) and then move along.

 

[theaface]

That's playing with fire. You got burnt for being an idiot. Learn the lesson that you shouldn't be camming with total strangers and anything that's on video has the ability to get out in public and move on.

All of this...

Oh yeah, that guy who scammed you out of a few hundred bucks is the dumb one.

...and this too.

Accept that you fucked up, learn your lesson and move on. Nothing good will come of this.

 

[StMeph]

I want people to read more of these confessions. A lot of confessions were ignored last year because of there were a lot to go through, sometimes they were bunched together with more dramatic ones. They're all worthwhile reads.

Part of that plays into the placement of confessions. I try to space them out so there's a confession at the top of the page, around the 25 mark, around 51, and around 75. I don't want any thing at the bottom of the page whether you're on 50 ppp or 100 ppp.

Honestly, they would be best-served by being posted in a place that's all on their own, but continue posting them in the thread while also on a separate document/link/blog page. The other option is to maintain the directory that you have in the OP, but that's a clunkier process.

 

[Sagely]

Ed - it actually was Robinsons.

Haha awesome! I remember Robinsons being a staple of the household back when I was studying. Good times!

 

[Moff]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

that's very interesting, I read about this kind of scam a few days ago in a local newspaper and it was the first time I heard about it, apparently those scammers are on dating apps as well, so watch out people.
anyway, thanks for the insight confessor, and I would take at least 10x what he took from me from him, good luck.

 

[JC Lately]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

"Hey, JC Lately, how come you don't use your Facebook credentials to sign up for/log in to various services?"

Oh, you know. No real reason.

Confessor, do not reverse-blackmail this man. Take the L, learn from it, and move on.

Bet actual relationships seem much less complicated now though, huh?

 

[The Lone Courier]

What kind of program has a prerecorded blonde chick doing anything you say? Should have asked her to write Neogaf on a paper or something.

 

[Llyranor]

What kind of program has a prerecorded blonde chick doing anything you say? Should have asked her to write Neogaf on a paper or something.

And how would you connect the sequences of videos/actions so smoothly as to not make it obvious?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm a virgin at 20. None of my friends know. I hang out with kind of a "bro-ish" crowd. I'm not ugly but I have zero game and no idea what to do. I go to college but live at home 30 minutes away so I can't really ever bring a girl back to my place

I was in a relationship with a Catholic girl until the summer. I've been trying to get with girls since then, but with zero luck.

I used to always want my first time to be special (and for a while had a "no sex without love" personal rule) but now I think I'll take what I can get...

I think you're a liar. You're the Polygamist Cult Leader from last year.

 

[Psychotext]

I'm trying to think if I would pay $400 to not have people see me jerking off.

Wouldn't pay a penny. "Oh no, have people know I masturbate? UNTHINKABLE!".

I guess maybe if I had a tiny cock or something.

 

[daveo42]

Virgin at 20 is nothing. I didn't lose mine till I was 31. Some others on GAF were/are in the same boat. Don't let it get you down if you're only 20 and still a virgin. Don't let that worry you all that much.

Or get an escort. I've heard that's one way to lose your virginity faster.

 

[Patryn]

I think you're a liar. You're the Polygamist Cult Leader from last year.

Part of your problem may be that all you're focusing on is the sex. If sex is all you care about, go find a (reputable) professional and just get it over with. Otherwise you could be inadvertently sabotaging relationships over that shit.

Seriously, being a virgin gets such a stigma and it's honestly not the biggest deal.

 

[Fireblend]

This is like a goddamn David Fincher film.

Goddamn this is incredible. I don't know what to say. I wasn't planning on ever jerking off to strangers online but I guess I definitely won't now. And the chance for retaliation here is huge. Are you sure nothing can be done by contacting the local authorities with what you have now?

 

[Loomba]

I don't know what to say about this confession. On one hand, I agree with you, on the other if he does this dude is in for way more of a world of hurt than the confessor who lost $400.

I'm trying to think if I would pay $400 to not have people see me jerking off.

I'd tell them to fuck off, even if you pay them they still have the video and they can still send it anyway; they would just be $400 richer (and I'd be $400 poorer).

Wouldn't pay a penny. "Oh no, have people know I masturbate? UNTHINKABLE!".

I guess maybe if I had a tiny cock or something.

Nice stealth brag

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

20 isn't that late. I had my first time at 23. Just talk to a lot of girls and eventually a girl will like you back.

 

[Omegasquash]

This will be the last confession of the evening, my friends. I offer no comment at the end of this one.

And that's the end of Day 3.

I'm actually sort of in tears. I feel you, confessor. You made the right decision, and if I knew you I'd fistbump.

 

[TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared]

That cam story is fucking crazy. I have no idea how that would even happen.

 

[BadHand]

You could probably at least get your $400 back.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

That cam story is fucking crazy. I have no idea how that would even happen.

avoid seeking cam sex

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

that blackmail story is silly.

just move on dude, you got suckered into $400, it happens to... well not everyone.

 

[brau]

He should've asked if he would actually send the video out after he got all buddy buddy.

 

[MattyG]

Jesus Christ, that cam story. That plot twist hit me like a ton of bricks.

I think you're a liar. You're the Polygamist Cult Leader from last year.

I'm 19 and still a virgin. I feel like 20 isn't all that uncommon, or that big of a deal.

 

[CyclopsRock]

Not that I'm condoning it, but you don't need to actually shop the guy into the homophobe police, he just needs to know that you can. At that point I think it would be entirely possible to ask for your $400 back, and you have a sort of MAD-inspired detente. No one's taken anyone's money, you both have dirt on each other that it would be beneficial to keep hidden away. The perfect crime!

 

[brau]

Jesus Christ, that cam story. That plot twist hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

Honestly, they would be best-served by being posted in a place that's all on their own, but continue posting them in the thread while also on a separate document/link/blog page. The other option is to maintain the directory that you have in the OP, but that's a clunkier process.

This is actually a solid idea. And I did end up placing all the Mobile Confessions last year into a Google Docs document.

Any recommendations?

Prior Confessions

Blackmailing Each Other with Jerk-Off Videos (Big-Budget Confessions)

Return of the Polygamist Virgin Cult Leader (Mobile Confessions)

I Sabotaged My Old Company Because I Am a Petty Pathetic Asshole (Indie Confessions)

Big O: It's Not Showtime : ( (Mobile Confessions)

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

feed me more NTGYK

moooooore

 

[User1608]

Holy crap, just read the blackmail story, can't believe I missed it. What the fuck, it's so surreal and borderline high stakes.0_o

I'm a virgin at 20...

Don't worry too much about it, I'm in the same boat as you, more or less. Still a virgin myself at 23. One day, I'll find a man. Until then, I'm not going to sweat over it too much.

 

[PlayALLtheGames]

Dude, if you wanna bang her, you are attracted to her.

Nah. I know throughout my life I've seen chicks who were either very average or below average, but had an amazing body and big boobs and ass and I thought, "I'd totally hit that", but I wasn't like, "She's really attractive."

 

[internetwolf]

Nah. I know throughout my life I've seen chicks who were either very average or below average, but had an amazing body and big boobs and ass and I thought, "I'd totally hit that", but I wasn't like, "She's really attractive."

So you're sexually attracted but not mentally attracted.

 

[LucidMomentum]

I'm 19 and still a virgin. I feel like 20 isn't all that uncommon, or that big of a deal.

Hey it'll happen when it happens. No need to rush it.

Don't worry too much about it, I'm in the same boat as you, more or less. Still a virgin myself at 23. One day, I'll find a man. Until then, I'm not going to sweat over it too much.

Wait a second, we have two eligible people looking for love right here in this thread.
Let's get an app going so GAF can get 'er done!

GAFR: For when GAF wants to F.

So you're sexually attracted but not mentally attracted.

Happens all the time. There are times where I get urges and I think "I would totally just go to town." on a girl I meet but I know a relationship wouldn't be in the cards. Luckily I'm attracted to my current SO on both counts.

 

[BLOODED_hands]

Aw, that no-suicide story was good. There's still hope confessor and I am glad you saw that at that moment.

Two dudes.... Jerking off and blackmailing each other.... No words.

Dude, being a virgin isn't bad man. If it is sex, just find a escort, pay for it and get it done. If you want love, keep looking and you will eventually find a girl that will like and perhaps love you confessor.

Nice that you two were adults about the breakup NTGYK. On to the next one.