-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
- Thread starter Replicant
- Start date
- Status
NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!
How can anyone be this oblivious? He WANTS you.
You can. Sex him up already! Just don't fall for him since he's obviously not looking for a relationship.
SpaceBridge
Member
NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!
[/B]
This is actually the best response to Midnights dilemma.
MidnightScott
Banned
NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!
How can anyone be this oblivious? He WANTS you.
You can. Sex him up already! Just don't fall for him since he's obviously not looking for a relationship.
That's the thing about it though, he thinks of me as a friend and I think of him as a friend. I don't wanna mess things up.
I kind of think it was fate that we met though. I had my big realization on New Years eve and had a hard cry and felt better. And then a few weeks later this nice guy comes in and applies and I recommend him not knowing that he was going to end up being a good friend who I can talk to about anything. So I'm kind of happy I have one friend I can rely on when I'm feeling down and can also help him as well.
lordfroakie
Member
hello!Me, neither. Totally against it.
[He says knowing he has absolutely nothing there to shave]
Mystic Theurge
Member
Do not listen to these men.
They are wrong and must be stopped--nay fought.
How about everyone just does what they want? lol. I used to shave practically everywhere when I was young(er). I guess I thought that's what was "hot". That's all I saw in advertising. Amazing how that shit can effect you so deeply. Then I stopped caring, grew out my facial hair and actually WANTED more hair to grow on my body (only certain parts, of course).
dragonlife
Member
It's fine because you have awesome facial hair.And what if I only have a bunch of random hairs on my chest
RadioHeadAche
Member
Truly one of the most heinous of all modern crimes. ...And yet, I just cannot bring myself to support facial hair on most guys. Sorry.
Most beards are pretty gross to me, but well maintained/groomed facial hair is pretty attractive. I hate mustaches, though.
As for chest hair, same rule applies. I like some chest hair, but completely turned off by a torso of shag carpeting.
Everyone's opinions are different, so just do whatever you think looks best on you or what your partner likes the most.
Not really, no. Sometimes I'll feel uncomfortable, but it doesn't usually affect how I act. I'm more used to people being intimidated by me than the other way around. =\
CornBurrito
Member
I don't think you riding his cock is going to mess things up.
Dead Prince
Banned
Mmmmm noo
hairy > shaven /biased
Yeah, some of us don't have much choice. Play the hand that's dealt, I suppose. =/And what if I only have a bunch of random hairs on my chest
Totally dig a hairy, burly chest. And a fuzzy butt.
Same here. Who comes up with this stuff?!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
GasProblem
Member
So, I just got Nintendo Letterbox on my 3DS. You can sent letters, and attach photos and recordings.
:>
:>
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
I think julls deserves a little more than an etc.
He's probably in the Top 5 of best looking gaygaffers.
You want to... date a bear? [not that there is anything wrong with bears and not the main "concern" anyway]
It looks good on Ryan Reynolds [I love mah Ryans <3]
Also, I like Gosling's neckbeard and tummy hair:
http://i.imgur.com/LyYtT.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/FGovY.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/EfZPE.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/QDtRJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/b5arE.jpg
You guys are really sweet...thank you so much.
...so i guess i should start talking
Wednesday night my bf had texted me at work saying he needs to talk to me face to face. Mind you we only see each other once or twice a week, and sometimes just for a couple hours. It's been like this since we started talking. We're always always busy. I told him that i won't be able to have a day off until the upcoming Tuesday. He did a :/ emoticon and said it can't wait and he has to talk to me asap...i told him that i would much rather talk in person but if it can't wait...then we both have no choice but for him to tell me at the moment, even though neither of us wanted that. He couldn't call either because i was working. He said that he'll tell me a few things and then we'll urgently find time somehow one day to see each other to talk in person asap.
The conversation that happened was basically him saying he feels that what's best for us is to be friends. He said it hurts him so much to have to do this but his situation is such a mess and he just feels bad that i have to go through it all the time- he has no car, no stable job (spontaneous call-ins, he tours with his band, he also shoots commercials, music videos, etc.), or a real place to live (he lives with his friend that is letting him stay there while he looks for a place). With all these conditions, it's hard for us to find any time to hang out at all. When we do find a day, it's still a last minute confirmation of whether we can chill because of his spontaneous jobs. It's sometimes literally down to an hour just before to tell me if we can hang out, then i would have to drive 25+ miles to his place in traffic most of the time. Then we can only hang out for god knows how long before he gets a phone call to band practice or a shoot or whatever.
For some weird reason I didn't know how to react to it so i just kind of accepted the fact so quickly... i didn't freak out, i didn't cry, i didn't get mad, i didn't really do anything...i calmly told him that i've always wanted nothing but the best for him. i told him that it was hard for me to understand him at times because he is so guarded, and that was one of our biggest barriers. I told him that if this is what he wants, then i will support him no matter what... he said that we still need to finish talking in person for closure and that we need to somehow plan that asap. i then finished my shift feeling good, feeling okay, and not letting it bother me at all.
After my shift, i went out with my brother and my friend so i wouldn't have to think about it. We got back to my house around 2am and i got ready for bed. i was sitting on my bed, not really doing anything, laptop open...i turned my head... only to see all of his belongings that he left in my room and...i just couldn't control it...i bit my lower lip, my eyes watered, and tears begin to rush down my face. I tried to go to sleep but didn't really get to. The following morning i just so happen to wake up facing all of his things again. I start bawling uncontrollably... i put on an episode of SKINS to try to get it out of my mind. Of course the episode is about a break-up so i start crying all over again...
I decided to text him and this was our conversation:
-------------------------------------
Me: I'm sorry Gabe :/ I tried to busy myself last night, I really did. I went out with Eric and Bryan to get if off my mind but when i got home I just couldn't sleep and when i was just in my room...and i saw all your stuff in my room and... :'( it just made me sad...
Him: Aw man :/. I'm so sorry...The last thing I want in this world is to hurt you...
Me: we just really need to talk in person. Can you take a lunch break if I come now?
Him: Yes, plz do...
Him: R u gonna cry?
Me:
Me: ...i won't hide any feelings from you.
Him: I'm not asking u to hide anything. I can't see you cry. I really really can't. I can't deal with that on my lunch break and come back all weird and sad to work...
Me: :/ how do you think I was last night at work?
Him: I'm sorry :/
Me: I had to keep my fake smile up all night to every person that walked up to the counter...my face muscles hurt after lol.
Him: Hahahahahaha that's not good
Me: Yeah...well...i'm coming now okay?
Him: :/ okay
-------------------------------------
So...I get there, and we decide to go to In N Out. On the way there he says to me "do you want to start talking now...?" I say okay but I don't know how to start... so i just tell him what happened to me after i got home last night and this morning when i saw his stuff. I told him that i know it seemed like i was okay with everything during the conversation last night and for some reason i really was and i didn't know why. He told me that he found it extremely strange and weird that i wasn't upset. i told him that i guess my shock took over and it didn't really hit me until i saw his things in my room. i told him that i realized something when i began crying last night...i realized that i didn't, couldn't lose him... At that moment, he turned away from me and covered his face, not saying anything.
We pulled into the In N Out parking lot and we walk inside. I go to find a table, he orders food. We're just quiet while waiting for the food. His number finally gets called and he goes to get his food and he surprises me with a neapolitan shake and just smiles...i had told him weeks ago that i've always wanted to try the neapolitan shake from In N Out... He tells me we better continue talking. I told him that I have had thoughts a couple times before about ending it with him because of most of the same reasons he has brought up, because of his situation and how difficult it is for me to only see him once or twice a week. Sometimes i just want him there to hold... but...i just felt like every time i see him after a week or so...he made me the happiest guy on the planet, it felt like the troubles were worth it because our time spent was always so passionate, sweet, loving, and never a dull moment. I never realized that i didnt want more, i didn't ask for more and I told him that... and he tells me that he knows i never ask or want anything from him, but he feels guilty, he feels bad for me that i have to go through the same shit every day, every week, every month... he doesn't want me to have to plan around his schedule all the time, to plan every single day off to hang out with him and end in disappointment when he has to cancel last minute for work/band/whatever.
We have never done anything to hurt each other and we've always cared for one another. It's those moments that felt so good that consistently convinced me that he was worth it....he told me that even though it hurts him greatly to say it, "You deserve someone better that can give back to you what you give me all the time; you deserve to be happier, Christian." That's when i lost it. I tried saying what i really needed to say but the words would get lost in my sobbing. Tears began pouring and he looked at me with the most hurtful face i have ever seen on him. He begged me to not cry because he couldn't stand seeing me cry, but i just couldn't control myself. People began looking at me and i looked at him and said "I can't do this, i need to go to the car." so i got up and went to the car and cried more and more. He came out and stood next to the car, facing away from me. I told him to get inside the car so he did. I told him: "Gabe, i really need to tell you this or else it will kill me...i know that you say that i deserve someone better that can give me back what i give to them, i know you say that i deserve to be happier...but... :'( I have never felt any happier in any moment of my life than when i see you..."
He put his head down...shook his head and his eyes got watery. He told me that his situation his so fucked up right now. He can't stand living the way he's living and that he might have to do something really drastic in his life. It can take an extreme turn at any moment...and then he told me that he might have to move back to Brazil if things don't work out... He said that he didn't want us to get more serious and eventually hurt me a lot more than he has to now. He says that he knows it's selfish of him to be doing all of this but he needs to fight for his himself to make his life better and that in order for that to happen, he has to sacrifice me...he said "Christian, for now this is how my life needs to be. For now, I can't be in a relationship with anyone because it just puts more pressure on me. I need to find a stable job. I need to buy a car. I need to find a place to live. If one day things are in the right place at the right time for the both of us, you know that what we had was special, and that it will happen for us again. But you shouldn't wait for me. You can't sit here for me. You need to live your life to the fullest..."
Time was ending for the both of us, i had to get to work, he had to get back to work. I drove back to his work and when we reached a red light, i looked at him and he looked at me. I grabbed his hand and just held it like he was on his final breaths. I cried the whole drive and he clutched my hand so tightly. I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to say before i go... he said "I want you to know that I really really appreciate what you've done for me. You've made me happy and made me feel really special. I'm so lucky to have met you, Christian." and i said, "Gabe, i've always considered myself the lucky one..." he continues saying "No, you're wrong. Look at you Christian. Any guy in the world would be lucky to have you; I would be lucky to have you...but the way my life is right now, I just can't, no matter how much i want you, and I really am truly sorry for that. i understand if you never want to talk to me or see me ever again, but please know that I would really hate that. I want you in my life and i know that's selfish of me again, but i need you to know all of how i really feel..."
I asked him if i could ask him one more question. I told him that a lot of my friends never trusted him because there would be other guys around a lot. I asked him if he ever lied to me. He tells me, "I would never hurt you like that, Christian. Please don't ever think I ever did anything behind your back because that would mean breaking you, breaking your heart, and that would kill me." I started to cry again and he just keeps telling me "please stop crying, please stop crying, please..." he tells me that we're both late for work and that we both better go. I go in for a hug and i hold onto him. I close my eyes, tears rushing down my cheeks. I never wanted to let go, i never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to never let him go.. i kiss his cheek, and he says, "Please stop crying so you can drive back to work safely. Please stop crying so you can work properly. I can't see you like this. I hate seeing you like this and it just makes me feel worse than i am feeling already." I couldn't say a word... i just didn't want to let him go. He continues, "Would you please text me when you get to work so i know you're okay?" and i just tell him, "You know what sucks the most? The fact that we can't fight for this...that i have no control over this...and you know what? I know this is right, Gabe." He looks at me, and says. "Please text me so i know." and i close my eyes and just tell him, "Please get out of my car...." i pull away from him and he looks at me, gets out of the car, and i drive away as fast as i can...
The car ride home was the longest of my life. I sat in traffic, knowing i would be over an hour late for work. I was crying and crying. I called my coworker to go in for me to work the first 2 hours and he said i don't have to go in if i didn't want to. i just drove and i couldn't take it anymore, hearing myself cry and cry and cry. I turned on my radio and of course the saddest song in the fucking world (not really, but it was just too perfect timing) was playing: Maroon 5 - Better That We Break I lose it right there...the lyrics hit me so hard, it was just so bitter bitter sweet.
i called my best friend and my brother so they can talk to me. i just didn't want to have to deal with it alone... eventually i got home and i vented to my brother. He told me that the way things ended, it ended the best possible way between us. Never any secrets, hidden agendas, other guys. He said i may not see it as a good thing now, but it is a good thing. He said, he really liked Gabe and he was glad that we made each other happy. He tells me that he doesn't even have to tell me there's other fish in the sea because i already know that. He says that I should walk away from this seeing it as a positive thing and that the way we ended our relationship means we'll never hate each other, which leads to a hopeful future as friends or maybe one day more than that again.
I decide to text Gabe:
-------------------------------------
Me: Hey, i'm home. someone took the first couple hours of my shift. i couldn't stop crying the whole drive home, i know i said i would try to stop, but i just couldn't.
Him: Thanks for texting me back, i know you don't me owe anything. i really appreciate it. try to go to sleep or keep busy.
Me: Thank you so much for everything Gabe. i'll text you whenever i know i'm fine so that you know i'm okay.
Him: No. Thank YOU, Christian. And yes, plz plz do.
-------------------------------------
I've realized that there were a bunch of signs leading up to this, but i know and i'm glad that things ended now. I'm happy that it was a positive ending as much as it hurt me so much, more than anything i've ever been through. I'm just happy i've met a guy like him. He's made me realize and experience a lot. Quite positively my most important relationship so far. So...thank you guys for listening...that's it.
Marius_:
...so i guess i should start talking
Wednesday night my bf had texted me at work saying he needs to talk to me face to face. Mind you we only see each other once or twice a week, and sometimes just for a couple hours. It's been like this since we started talking. We're always always busy. I told him that i won't be able to have a day off until the upcoming Tuesday. He did a :/ emoticon and said it can't wait and he has to talk to me asap...i told him that i would much rather talk in person but if it can't wait...then we both have no choice but for him to tell me at the moment, even though neither of us wanted that. He couldn't call either because i was working. He said that he'll tell me a few things and then we'll urgently find time somehow one day to see each other to talk in person asap.
The conversation that happened was basically him saying he feels that what's best for us is to be friends. He said it hurts him so much to have to do this but his situation is such a mess and he just feels bad that i have to go through it all the time- he has no car, no stable job (spontaneous call-ins, he tours with his band, he also shoots commercials, music videos, etc.), or a real place to live (he lives with his friend that is letting him stay there while he looks for a place). With all these conditions, it's hard for us to find any time to hang out at all. When we do find a day, it's still a last minute confirmation of whether we can chill because of his spontaneous jobs. It's sometimes literally down to an hour just before to tell me if we can hang out, then i would have to drive 25+ miles to his place in traffic most of the time. Then we can only hang out for god knows how long before he gets a phone call to band practice or a shoot or whatever.
For some weird reason I didn't know how to react to it so i just kind of accepted the fact so quickly... i didn't freak out, i didn't cry, i didn't get mad, i didn't really do anything...i calmly told him that i've always wanted nothing but the best for him. i told him that it was hard for me to understand him at times because he is so guarded, and that was one of our biggest barriers. I told him that if this is what he wants, then i will support him no matter what... he said that we still need to finish talking in person for closure and that we need to somehow plan that asap. i then finished my shift feeling good, feeling okay, and not letting it bother me at all.
After my shift, i went out with my brother and my friend so i wouldn't have to think about it. We got back to my house around 2am and i got ready for bed. i was sitting on my bed, not really doing anything, laptop open...i turned my head... only to see all of his belongings that he left in my room and...i just couldn't control it...i bit my lower lip, my eyes watered, and tears begin to rush down my face. I tried to go to sleep but didn't really get to. The following morning i just so happen to wake up facing all of his things again. I start bawling uncontrollably... i put on an episode of SKINS to try to get it out of my mind. Of course the episode is about a break-up so i start crying all over again...
I decided to text him and this was our conversation:
-------------------------------------
Me: I'm sorry Gabe :/ I tried to busy myself last night, I really did. I went out with Eric and Bryan to get if off my mind but when i got home I just couldn't sleep and when i was just in my room...and i saw all your stuff in my room and... :'( it just made me sad...
Him: Aw man :/. I'm so sorry...The last thing I want in this world is to hurt you...
Me:
we just really need to talk in person. Can you take a lunch break if I come now?Him: Yes, plz do...
Him: R u gonna cry?
Me:
Me: ...i won't hide any feelings from you.
Him: I'm not asking u to hide anything. I can't see you cry. I really really can't. I can't deal with that on my lunch break and come back all weird and sad to work...
Me: :/ how do you think I was last night at work?
Him: I'm sorry :/
Me: I had to keep my fake smile up all night to every person that walked up to the counter...my face muscles hurt after lol.
Him: Hahahahahaha that's not good
Me: Yeah...well...i'm coming now okay?
Him: :/ okay
-------------------------------------
So...I get there, and we decide to go to In N Out. On the way there he says to me "do you want to start talking now...?" I say okay but I don't know how to start... so i just tell him what happened to me after i got home last night and this morning when i saw his stuff. I told him that i know it seemed like i was okay with everything during the conversation last night and for some reason i really was and i didn't know why. He told me that he found it extremely strange and weird that i wasn't upset. i told him that i guess my shock took over and it didn't really hit me until i saw his things in my room. i told him that i realized something when i began crying last night...i realized that i didn't, couldn't lose him... At that moment, he turned away from me and covered his face, not saying anything.
We pulled into the In N Out parking lot and we walk inside. I go to find a table, he orders food. We're just quiet while waiting for the food. His number finally gets called and he goes to get his food and he surprises me with a neapolitan shake and just smiles...i had told him weeks ago that i've always wanted to try the neapolitan shake from In N Out...
He tells me we better continue talking. I told him that I have had thoughts a couple times before about ending it with him because of most of the same reasons he has brought up, because of his situation and how difficult it is for me to only see him once or twice a week. Sometimes i just want him there to hold... but...i just felt like every time i see him after a week or so...he made me the happiest guy on the planet, it felt like the troubles were worth it because our time spent was always so passionate, sweet, loving, and never a dull moment. I never realized that i didnt want more, i didn't ask for more and I told him that... and he tells me that he knows i never ask or want anything from him, but he feels guilty, he feels bad for me that i have to go through the same shit every day, every week, every month... he doesn't want me to have to plan around his schedule all the time, to plan every single day off to hang out with him and end in disappointment when he has to cancel last minute for work/band/whatever.We have never done anything to hurt each other and we've always cared for one another. It's those moments that felt so good that consistently convinced me that he was worth it....he told me that even though it hurts him greatly to say it, "You deserve someone better that can give back to you what you give me all the time; you deserve to be happier, Christian." That's when i lost it. I tried saying what i really needed to say but the words would get lost in my sobbing. Tears began pouring and he looked at me with the most hurtful face i have ever seen on him. He begged me to not cry because he couldn't stand seeing me cry, but i just couldn't control myself. People began looking at me and i looked at him and said "I can't do this, i need to go to the car." so i got up and went to the car and cried more and more. He came out and stood next to the car, facing away from me. I told him to get inside the car so he did. I told him: "Gabe, i really need to tell you this or else it will kill me...i know that you say that i deserve someone better that can give me back what i give to them, i know you say that i deserve to be happier...but... :'( I have never felt any happier in any moment of my life than when i see you..."
He put his head down...shook his head and his eyes got watery. He told me that his situation his so fucked up right now. He can't stand living the way he's living and that he might have to do something really drastic in his life. It can take an extreme turn at any moment...and then he told me that he might have to move back to Brazil if things don't work out...
He said that he didn't want us to get more serious and eventually hurt me a lot more than he has to now. He says that he knows it's selfish of him to be doing all of this but he needs to fight for his himself to make his life better and that in order for that to happen, he has to sacrifice me...he said "Christian, for now this is how my life needs to be. For now, I can't be in a relationship with anyone because it just puts more pressure on me. I need to find a stable job. I need to buy a car. I need to find a place to live. If one day things are in the right place at the right time for the both of us, you know that what we had was special, and that it will happen for us again. But you shouldn't wait for me. You can't sit here for me. You need to live your life to the fullest..."Time was ending for the both of us, i had to get to work, he had to get back to work. I drove back to his work and when we reached a red light, i looked at him and he looked at me. I grabbed his hand and just held it like he was on his final breaths. I cried the whole drive and he clutched my hand so tightly. I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to say before i go... he said "I want you to know that I really really appreciate what you've done for me. You've made me happy and made me feel really special. I'm so lucky to have met you, Christian." and i said, "Gabe, i've always considered myself the lucky one..." he continues saying "No, you're wrong. Look at you Christian. Any guy in the world would be lucky to have you; I would be lucky to have you...but the way my life is right now, I just can't, no matter how much i want you, and I really am truly sorry for that. i understand if you never want to talk to me or see me ever again, but please know that I would really hate that. I want you in my life and i know that's selfish of me again, but i need you to know all of how i really feel..."
I asked him if i could ask him one more question. I told him that a lot of my friends never trusted him because there would be other guys around a lot. I asked him if he ever lied to me. He tells me, "I would never hurt you like that, Christian. Please don't ever think I ever did anything behind your back because that would mean breaking you, breaking your heart, and that would kill me." I started to cry again and he just keeps telling me "please stop crying, please stop crying, please..." he tells me that we're both late for work and that we both better go. I go in for a hug and i hold onto him. I close my eyes, tears rushing down my cheeks. I never wanted to let go, i never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to never let him go.. i kiss his cheek, and he says, "Please stop crying so you can drive back to work safely. Please stop crying so you can work properly. I can't see you like this. I hate seeing you like this and it just makes me feel worse than i am feeling already." I couldn't say a word... i just didn't want to let him go. He continues, "Would you please text me when you get to work so i know you're okay?" and i just tell him, "You know what sucks the most? The fact that we can't fight for this...that i have no control over this...and you know what? I know this is right, Gabe." He looks at me, and says. "Please text me so i know." and i close my eyes and just tell him, "Please get out of my car...." i pull away from him and he looks at me, gets out of the car, and i drive away as fast as i can...
The car ride home was the longest of my life. I sat in traffic, knowing i would be over an hour late for work. I was crying and crying. I called my coworker to go in for me to work the first 2 hours and he said i don't have to go in if i didn't want to. i just drove and i couldn't take it anymore, hearing myself cry and cry and cry. I turned on my radio and of course the saddest song in the fucking world (not really, but it was just too perfect timing) was playing: Maroon 5 - Better That We Break I lose it right there...the lyrics hit me so hard, it was just so bitter bitter sweet.
i called my best friend and my brother so they can talk to me. i just didn't want to have to deal with it alone... eventually i got home and i vented to my brother. He told me that the way things ended, it ended the best possible way between us. Never any secrets, hidden agendas, other guys. He said i may not see it as a good thing now, but it is a good thing. He said, he really liked Gabe and he was glad that we made each other happy. He tells me that he doesn't even have to tell me there's other fish in the sea because i already know that. He says that I should walk away from this seeing it as a positive thing and that the way we ended our relationship means we'll never hate each other, which leads to a hopeful future as friends or maybe one day more than that again.
I decide to text Gabe:
-------------------------------------
Me: Hey, i'm home. someone took the first couple hours of my shift. i couldn't stop crying the whole drive home, i know i said i would try to stop, but i just couldn't.
Him: Thanks for texting me back, i know you don't me owe anything. i really appreciate it. try to go to sleep or keep busy.
Me: Thank you so much for everything Gabe. i'll text you whenever i know i'm fine so that you know i'm okay.
Him: No. Thank YOU, Christian. And yes, plz plz do.
-------------------------------------
I've realized that there were a bunch of signs leading up to this, but i know and i'm glad that things ended now. I'm happy that it was a positive ending as much as it hurt me so much, more than anything i've ever been through. I'm just happy i've met a guy like him. He's made me realize and experience a lot. Quite positively my most important relationship so far. So...thank you guys for listening...that's it.
Marius_:
It's been 5 days since i got Starbucks guy's phone number... think he's been waiting long enough
MidnightScott
Banned
So today I kept touching my coworker like his arms and back. I told him to flex his muscle an I squeezed it and basically gasped haha. So now I think he knows I want him and stuff but I still feel like im in the friend zone. :/
Anyway he's off to San Antonio for the weekend so there won't be any hanging out.
I told him I was into Latinos and he was like well I'm into white guys. But yeah I can tell he doesnt see me that way.
Anyway he's off to San Antonio for the weekend so there won't be any hanging out.
I told him I was into Latinos and he was like well I'm into white guys. But yeah I can tell he doesnt see me that way.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
Sorry to hear that, ciD.
"For some weird reason I didn't know how to react to it so i just kind of accepted the fact so quickly... i didn't freak out, i didn't cry, i didn't get mad, i didn't really do anything...i calmly told him that i've always wanted nothing but the best for him. i told him that it was hard for me to understand him at times because he is so guarded, and that was one of our biggest barriers. I told him that if this is what he wants, then i will support him no matter what... he said that we still need to finish talking in person for closure and that we need to somehow plan that asap. i then finished my shift feeling good, feeling okay, and not letting it bother me at all."
Wow, it's like you're me. I told my ex the same thing. Holy shit dude, the rest of your story really resonates with me too. Shit fucking sucks, because you know the feeling are there, but other stuff just keeps you apart.
Fucking hell. I'm so sorry, cid. I want to hug you. <3
My advice is to have a solid cry, then put on some good music, call your friends, and play some video games with them or go out and eat with them, just do anything. Try not to isolate yourself, because at least in my case that led to me just letting my mind wander and it would inevitably end up on him.
"For some weird reason I didn't know how to react to it so i just kind of accepted the fact so quickly... i didn't freak out, i didn't cry, i didn't get mad, i didn't really do anything...i calmly told him that i've always wanted nothing but the best for him. i told him that it was hard for me to understand him at times because he is so guarded, and that was one of our biggest barriers. I told him that if this is what he wants, then i will support him no matter what... he said that we still need to finish talking in person for closure and that we need to somehow plan that asap. i then finished my shift feeling good, feeling okay, and not letting it bother me at all."
Wow, it's like you're me. I told my ex the same thing. Holy shit dude, the rest of your story really resonates with me too. Shit fucking sucks, because you know the feeling are there, but other stuff just keeps you apart.
Fucking hell. I'm so sorry, cid.
I want to hug you. <3My advice is to have a solid cry, then put on some good music, call your friends, and play some video games with them or go out and eat with them, just do anything. Try not to isolate yourself, because at least in my case that led to me just letting my mind wander and it would inevitably end up on him.
I feel for you ciD. All things happen for a reason but I'm glad that the experience and relationship as a whole was positive. I agree with Sai-kun, that you should get out and try to keep your mind occupied on other things.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
I just said OH WHAT THE FUCK out loud and woke up the dog. Sorry, you're beyond help with this. WHAT is stopping you with this? it's painful to watch.
You know what ciD, your brother has it right. It ended the best possible way it could.
That doesn't mean that it doesn't suck hard, if anything it's even harder to come to term with because there's really nothing for you to focus on to tell yourself that it was for the best.
I don't know how much that can help you but all of my break ups involved elements that were out of my exes and my control. Either distance, a move half across the country or whatnot. My only advice is to allow yourself to grieve. People telling you to think about something else and keeping you busy are wrong IMO. You should think about it for a little while, remember all of the things you're gonna miss and allow yourself to cry as much as you want. You'll then see that after a while it hurts a bit less and knowing that you can't do anything about it is going to be slightly more bearable. That's when you should try and keep you busy with other things.
Obviously this grieving period can't last forever but I am convinced that it is necessary in order to healthily move on.
In the end you'll remember the good times you had and you will always have a special connection to that person. Hopefully you two are going to stay friends and you'll be able to move on and find someone who will be able to provide what he wasn't able to.
Hang in there, it will definitely get better as the time goes.
You know what, right now I'm just sitting back and enjoying the show. Being oblivious is cute, but is way past the point of cuteness now.
[edit] julls, your new avatar
At first glance, I thought they were holding hands! lol
MidnightScott
Banned
Hey I made it known that I was interested in him, how obvious do I have to be? :/ This happened at work by the way. If we were alone I think I would've been touching him in certain places.
Also I just read your story Christian, it touched my heart that y'all were so close. I'm glad it ended in the right way so that you can always think of him as that guy that was so sweet and loving to you. I'm sorry that it had to end though and I'm sure you will be able to move on, hang in there.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Yes. I like most people but usually I'd prefer to be an observer until I can get a feel for what kind of people they are, otherwise I'm not comfortable revealing much about myself. Actually it can go past that and I won't even be able to reveal much about myself, I'll experience a kind of mental-block caused by some kind of anxiety that leaves me totally stumped to reveal much of anything even if I've already reasoned it out that I should. It's weird, because while I'm not uniformly confident about everything in my life, I wouldn't consider myself unconfident either, in fact I'd consider myself a fairly self-possessed person.
But often I don't want people to understand me, either, because it can feel like a kind of obligation. I'm a pretty internalized person and that goes for how I perceive others as well (I tend to internalize them) and the vast majority of the time I find that I'm only willing to spare room in my head for one person (me). It's not that I'm totally self-absorbed or lack concern for others, exactly, but often it feels like something is being taken from me... like my right to solitude or secrecy, or something, I'm not totally sure what, but it feels like I have to give something up that I would prefer not to. All I'm really sure of is that it feels very draining. So I don't know, it's probably totally irrational but it's probably one of the most powerful irrational impulses that I have. Granted that I have some Schizoid tendencies.
GasProblem
Member
Midnight, just ask him out for a drink when he gets back from his weekend.
Please.
Please.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
If all everyone did was make it known they're "interested" and wait for the other person to make a move, not a lot would get done. You seem like a sweet guy but clearly being proactive isn't high on your list
MidnightScott
Banned
If all everyone did was make it known they're "interested" and wait for the other person to make a move, not a lot would get done. You seem like a sweet guy but clearly being proactive isn't high on your list
Yeah that's exactly what it is, but since he is dealing with all this drama like his ex or his fuckbuddy I don't wanna get in the middle of it. I want a relationship with him but only when he is ready. If you saw the rest of my messages to him last night you can tell it seems like he is hurting inside. I mean I know I was teasing him and stuff earlier and showing him that I'm interested, he didn't do anything back to show me that he was interested.
I'm sure we will hang out soon.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
You want a relationship with him now? I thought you hadn't even spent time with this guy yet - outside of work that is?
The Abominable Snowman
Member
Im a top so unless they were interested in bottoming .. then no.
Considering they were a FTM, unless they were really, really hot, then no, solely because they'd be interested in using that penis replacement.
lordfroakie
Member
Um, thought I told you to focus on New Years guy...now you're being touchy with coworker and stuff -_-
MidnightScott
Banned
Yeah well I want to hang out with him for the potential for it to turn into a relationship. I've never been in one and want to experience it despite how crazy they are or how crazy I seem to portray myself as.
Vic - new years guy flaked out on me again yesterday. That ticked me off.
But weren't you just saying a few pages ago that it was really important for you to just make a few friends?
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
is that three times now? I'd be ditching that guy quick.
Hanging out with this work mate with the intention of waiting til he's "ready" for a relationship is gonna cause you a world of pain. either be a mate only, a fuck buddy, or back off. he's already said he doesn't want a relationship. You'll fall for him, and drive yourself crazy, IMO.
just get some from him. he might be a dud fuck anyway, which saves you the hassle of finding that out later
MidnightScott
Banned
Yeah okay I did say that. I guess I just don't know what I want right now. Sorry y'all. I wanted to hold off on him because I was already meeting someone and since that didn't work out I guess I gave myself a free pass to do whatever I want now.
I guess I just need to get to know him and see where it goes.
This shit is making me crazy and making y'all crazy, I'm sorry!
I think my problem is that if I end up friends with someone I will end up developing feelings for them later on and getting hurt.
- Status