"I Left Raising Our Children to My Wife 1992
You want me to talk about my family? Thats a problem for me. Im hardly ever at home. Last night I got home at 1:30 Am, the night before it was 1 AM. Its not as if I go out on the town. Im a father who works too hard and returns home late at night six days a week. Usually I repeat, Ive got to go now, several times as I eat breakfast; when I have the rare day off all I do is sleep.
It wasnt so bad when I was employed at a company. But twenty years ago, when I began to produce my own films, this schedule turned into a lifestyle. Animation work isnt something is over when a certain amount is done. One has to pursue it until one is satisfied.
That is why I have left family affairs and raising our children to my wife. She was a colleague when we were at Toei Animation, so she understands my work and how much labour is needed to complete a project. She had wanted to continue working on her drawings. When we got married, I promised her that we would both have careers. Until our second son was born, I used to take the older one to preschool and met with there at the end of the day. But when I saw our older son walking home half asleep, I decided that it was impossible for both of us to work.
I feel contrite about breaking my promise. But since then I have been able to focus on my work. With me not at home very much, my wife would finish up housework and often do the things that father normally do, such as teach our boys kite-flying and top-spinning. On holidays, mother and sons would sometimes go hiking in the hills around Okumuasahi in the western outskirts of Tokyo.
Perhaps due to my wifes efforts, today both of our children are able to do things for themselves. At the risk of sounding overblown, they can live on their own without needing help from others. I tried to be a good father, but in the end I wasnt a very good parent. I thought I hadnt demanded that they study or insisted on what parth they should take leaving it up to them. But from my children I hear Father didnt scold us with words, he scolded us by showing us his back.
Our older son like mountains. In high school
Our younger son is studying design at college in Tokyo, he rents a room away from home.
When I reflect on my family, for me the form it takes differs according to the situation at the time. When the children were young, they made me want to make movies for them, to show them certain kinds of work. My children were both my motivation for work and my best audience.
Now they are grown up, these same children no longer engender such thoughts in me. And it makes me wonder where the young children of those days went, and whether the same kind of energy will be rekindled when I have grandchildren.
When our children were small, my wife and I had a common agenda to cooperate as a married couple for the sake of our children. Now we are entering the stage of life where we must face each other simply as husband and wife, but I am still consumed by work and continuing my moratorium on participating in raising children. My wife goes two or three times a week to help her parents, who are not well.
I guess I'll go appreciate the best show of the season on my own.
