Phonomezer
Banned
So today I found a 10 pound note in a birthday card from a thousand years ago. Yay! That's like $25 here.
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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
- Thread starter Replicant
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GasProblem
Member
Got a sunburn today just by sitting in the garden. The weather is so, so, so nice. Like 72 degrees with a small breeze and no clouds. Finally. I've been reading cooking magazines. Want to learn how to cook by myself and my mom has a shitload of cooking magazines so I've been reading through some of them. Really hungry right now.
And I didn't go to that party last night. Turns out there was a dresscode I don't have any clothes for, and buying clothes that you will probably never wear is kind of a waste. Besides, I only know the guy that organised it and going to a party with silly clothes is fun if you're going with friends, not if it's your first time at a gay bar and you don't know anyone. Also I don't want him to feel obliged to introduce me or something.
And I didn't go to that party last night. Turns out there was a dresscode I don't have any clothes for, and buying clothes that you will probably never wear is kind of a waste. Besides, I only know the guy that organised it and going to a party with silly clothes is fun if you're going with friends, not if it's your first time at a gay bar and you don't know anyone. Also I don't want him to feel obliged to introduce me or something.
Si I've been a month single but I am relationship guy so I started looking for dates in Germany and I have some options, particularly this nice guy in Hamburg.
but I came here to ask, is anyone else put off when getting some sort of information in the first exchange of messages? It's weird and I am not sure why but there are some things that guys say that really throw me out of the game
Example 1: " I used to have a boyfriend but he died in an accident"...>_>..
man, they lose me right there, sorry but who wants to be the substitute of a dead guy?
Example 2: " Oh, I have this, this and this disease and health problems"
If they come upfront with any kind of physical achings I tend to want to go away. We all have heatlth problems, from the smallest to the bigger but you can't go labeling yourself right away like that. Have HIV? there is a time and place to say it, not as your presentaton card. it only means you feel like there is nothing else to you than being in a certain health condition. I know that some people feel the moral need to say stuff like that but like I say, give it some time before talking about your possible downsides, nobody will ask you to marry in the next days (months...lives)
I am not sure if I am being silly here but that's how I think.
but I came here to ask, is anyone else put off when getting some sort of information in the first exchange of messages? It's weird and I am not sure why but there are some things that guys say that really throw me out of the game
Example 1: " I used to have a boyfriend but he died in an accident"...>_>..
man, they lose me right there, sorry but who wants to be the substitute of a dead guy?
Example 2: " Oh, I have this, this and this disease and health problems"
If they come upfront with any kind of physical achings I tend to want to go away. We all have heatlth problems, from the smallest to the bigger but you can't go labeling yourself right away like that. Have HIV? there is a time and place to say it, not as your presentaton card. it only means you feel like there is nothing else to you than being in a certain health condition. I know that some people feel the moral need to say stuff like that but like I say, give it some time before talking about your possible downsides, nobody will ask you to marry in the next days (months...lives)
I am not sure if I am being silly here but that's how I think.
The weather is nice when you get sunburnt?
It's the total opposite to me. :lol
Thankfully summer is almost over.
GasProblem
Member
Well, I don't like the sunburn, but I do like the sun and the flowers and being able to eat dinner outside and go to the beach and shit.
I used to be more of a winter person, but now winter just depresses me. Give me spring/summer and I'm happy. And in the summer it's rare when it gets hotter then 85 degrees here so it's not that bad. Went to Turkey on holiday once and it sucks when you walk for 1 minute and sweat is already coming out of every pore. I'd hate summer too if I'd live in a place like that.
Perhaps this is in bad taste but I laughed hard at that line. XD
I think some people with health issues or whathaveyou, have been rejected over these issues in the past, so by introducing themselves and getting this stuff out of the way straight away, they can shelter themselves from hurt if they grow to like someone and then get rejected.
It would be funny though if people introduced themselves like this for personality issues like "Hi, I have a fear of commitment and will leave you after 4 weeks max" or "Hi, I'm very high maintenance and will make your life hell if I don't get all the attention I crave". Would certainly save time.
So yeah, it's weird, but also kind of efficient.
I agree to an extent, I certainly wouldn't want to participate in a forum where all talk had to be sunshine and lollipops. Sometimes you need to 'tell it like it is'.
However, there have been some personal attacks and insults thrown around lately and that just rubs me up the wrong way. That's a whole other kettle of fish surely.
So I just learned today my 17 year-old sister is now pregnant. I am curious if my mom changes her views on abortion now. This is after my hard-core christian mom/parents have already had to deal with the idea of premarital sex and then sleeping with random guys.
Somehow my mom will need to accept that I am gay when I feel like telling her. It is not possible for her to consider me a bigger fuckup now after the stupid mistakes of my sisters.
Somehow my mom will need to accept that I am gay when I feel like telling her. It is not possible for her to consider me a bigger fuckup now after the stupid mistakes of my sisters.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
"You know we're going through a very difficult time dealing with your sister. Why are you doing this to us?!"
MidnightScott
Banned
I just discovered that it isn't possible for me to be in a relationship with anyone, I guess I'm just not ready :-/
The guy is nice and all and we cuddled and fooled around, I stayed until 6 am. But we are also in two different places in our life as well. I don't feel like I can be the right person that he deserves.
He was telling me not to rush it but I guess I just didn't listen. I don't know how I am going to tell him that I don't wish to be in a relationship.
I guess maybe I just only need friends right now and not people to sleep with or have a relationship.
Yes, now all of you can just make fun of me.
The guy is nice and all and we cuddled and fooled around, I stayed until 6 am. But we are also in two different places in our life as well. I don't feel like I can be the right person that he deserves.
He was telling me not to rush it but I guess I just didn't listen. I don't know how I am going to tell him that I don't wish to be in a relationship.
I guess maybe I just only need friends right now and not people to sleep with or have a relationship.
Yes, now all of you can just make fun of me.
Bel Marduk
Banned
CHEEZMO;36293128 said:
I never understood what that expression meant. (The bird one, not the cunt one.)
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
It's better to have a firm grasp on something than going after a greater prize and risk having nothing.
Same amount of time relationship lasted isn't a real thing. It's more like 2-4 months for any relationship of significant length, at least in my experience.
You don't owe him anything. Leave in good terms and tell him the truth. Use this time to learn more about yourself. Play games, meet new people and put away the relationship goggles. It'll also help taking a new hobby. For me it was watercolours!
Don't beat yourself too much about it, "that" man that makes you feel right will come. You're young and no need to hurry.
Fast reply, I'm on the phone and sleepy ;_;/
MidnightScott
Banned
Well I told him how I felt and I said I still want to be friends and that all I'm looking for right now is friends. He said that was fine, supposed to go hangout with him on Sunday. I feel relieved a bit that instead of leading him on i told him the truth immediately as I felt it.
Mystic Theurge
Member
CHEEZMO;36295013 said:
Not necessarily. If you truly want something, you should go after it. Don't settle.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
Yeah, I should have put "be greedy" instead. Stupid proverb.
OK it's a tad Livejournal but you will deal 
So I met this guy about 2 months ago. We really hit it off, hung out a lot, talked a lot on the phone, went to the movies, talked in the car, watched movies in bed, cuddled, we would sit on the couch and feed eachother food etc.....
Only kissed once and we never had sex.
He invited me to his housewarming party (he just bought a new condo), asked me to go to a concert with him, and on a road trip.
So the road trip was last weekend. It started fine, but as soon as we got to our destination he got all sneaky and was hiding what he was doing on his phone the whole time. Also made up some story about a "friend" that just had surgery there that he might go visit. (we didn't get into town until almost 6pm and had dinner and party plans that night already.....)
Anyways after the trip I just confronted him because I didn't know what the hell was up.
Turns out he was never into me "that way" and thinks nothing he did was misleading.
I really like him in general and he is fun to hang out with but now I just feel like a complete idiot because I was either delusional or he lied.... and If he did lie is he really my friend?
So I met this guy about 2 months ago. We really hit it off, hung out a lot, talked a lot on the phone, went to the movies, talked in the car, watched movies in bed, cuddled, we would sit on the couch and feed eachother food etc.....
Only kissed once and we never had sex.
He invited me to his housewarming party (he just bought a new condo), asked me to go to a concert with him, and on a road trip.
So the road trip was last weekend. It started fine, but as soon as we got to our destination he got all sneaky and was hiding what he was doing on his phone the whole time. Also made up some story about a "friend" that just had surgery there that he might go visit. (we didn't get into town until almost 6pm and had dinner and party plans that night already.....)
Anyways after the trip I just confronted him because I didn't know what the hell was up.
Turns out he was never into me "that way" and thinks nothing he did was misleading.
I really like him in general and he is fun to hang out with but now I just feel like a complete idiot because I was either delusional or he lied.... and If he did lie is he really my friend?
Well we went out one night with a few of his friends and it was the first time I had met them, so one of them asked us something about how dating is going or something along those lines, like we were a couple. He kinda just played it off cool like we were taking it slow and not rushing. Which at the time made sense. He didn't say oh we're just friends.
Maybe he didn't know what he wanted and he figured it out and it wasn't me, so he finally told me cause I asked? Dunno.
Bel Marduk
Banned
OK it's a tad Livejournal but you will deal
So I met this guy about 2 months ago. We really hit it off, hung out a lot, talked a lot on the phone, went to the movies, talked in the car, watched movies in bed, cuddled, we would sit on the couch and feed eachother food etc.....
Only kissed once and we never had sex.
He invited me to his housewarming party (he just bought a new condo), asked me to go to a concert with him, and on a road trip.
So the road trip was last weekend. It started fine, but as soon as we got to our destination he got all sneaky and was hiding what he was doing on his phone the whole time. Also made up some story about a "friend" that just had surgery there that he might go visit. (we didn't get into town until almost 6pm and had dinner and party plans that night already.....)
Anyways after the trip I just confronted him because I didn't know what the hell was up.
Turns out he was never into me "that way" and thinks nothing he did was misleading.
I really like him in general and he is fun to hang out with but now I just feel like a complete idiot because I was either delusional or he lied.... and If he did lie is he really my friend?
He either:
1. Was just looking to make friends the whole time.
2. Was trying to hook up with you, and when you didn't, lost interest.
You're really reading too much into this.
fuck, I am scared shitless again... -_-
I was exchanging messages with this very nice guy and he came out as being HIV+, on meds and undetectable. I said I was sorry and everything continued nicely.
then said he doesn't know where the + comes from since he always had safe sex and in september 2010 he tested negative and that changed in May 2011. He would know from whom he got it if he had been barebacking anyone in that time interval.
all 99% of the empiric and scientific data is against his claim but maybe that 1% got him? got it from oral or kissing? what if my ex boyfriend had it and gave it me or something.
damn, guys I need some reassurance I can't afford having HIV so randomly, don't have money for meds and my social security wont cover them.
I was exchanging messages with this very nice guy and he came out as being HIV+, on meds and undetectable. I said I was sorry and everything continued nicely.
then said he doesn't know where the + comes from since he always had safe sex and in september 2010 he tested negative and that changed in May 2011. He would know from whom he got it if he had been barebacking anyone in that time interval.
all 99% of the empiric and scientific data is against his claim but maybe that 1% got him? got it from oral or kissing? what if my ex boyfriend had it and gave it me or something.
damn, guys I need some reassurance
I can't afford having HIV so randomly, don't have money for meds and my social security wont cover them.fuck, I am scared shitless again... -_-
I was exchanging messages with this very nice guy and he came out as being HIV+, on meds and undetectable. I said I was sorry and everything continued nicely.
then said he doesn't know where the + comes from since he always had safe sex and in september 2010 he tested negative and that changed in May 2011. He would know from whom he got it if he had been barebacking anyone in that time interval.
all 99% of the empiric and scientific data is against his claim but maybe that 1% got him? got it from oral or kissing? what if my ex boyfriend had it and gave it me or something.
damn, guys I need some reassurance
What makes you think you have it too? You said you were just exchanging messages with him?
He probably got it from oral sex. I've met too many guys who think HIV is not transmitted orally. You can't get HIV from kissing though.
fuck, I am scared shitless again... -_-
I was exchanging messages with this very nice guy and he came out as being HIV+, on meds and undetectable. I said I was sorry and everything continued nicely.
then said he doesn't know where the + comes from since he always had safe sex and in september 2010 he tested negative and that changed in May 2011. He would know from whom he got it if he had been barebacking anyone in that time interval.
all 99% of the empiric and scientific data is against his claim but maybe that 1% got him? got it from oral or kissing? what if my ex boyfriend had it and gave it me or something.
damn, guys I need some reassurance
Yeah, this is paranoia. You're fine. You don't have HIV.
Bel Marduk
Banned
fuck, I am scared shitless again... -_-
I was exchanging messages with this very nice guy and he came out as being HIV+, on meds and undetectable. I said I was sorry and everything continued nicely.
then said he doesn't know where the + comes from since he always had safe sex and in september 2010 he tested negative and that changed in May 2011. He would know from whom he got it if he had been barebacking anyone in that time interval.
all 99% of the empiric and scientific data is against his claim but maybe that 1% got him? got it from oral or kissing? what if my ex boyfriend had it and gave it me or something.
damn, guys I need some reassurance
You do understand that this is a phobia, right? You seem pretty educated about HIV and you should know better. If it would make you feel better, get yourself tested every 6 months.. maybe your city has a place that will do it for free?
Spiritreaver
Member
So I posted a pic in the pic gaf thread and didn't get a single comment. Yep, I'm old and dead to gays now.
Phonomezer
Banned
I was being checked out today at lunch and I didn't like it. I hate people staring at me like that, especially when it's so obvious. I just wanted to go home and crawl under the covers (alone) lol.
Perhaps I have some anxiety issues bubbling under, I don't know. Anyone else feel the same about uninvited attention?
Perhaps I have some anxiety issues bubbling under, I don't know. Anyone else feel the same about uninvited attention?
I don't like posting comments in that thread because I think it's a little creepy. Obviously not a sentiment held by others as there are a few posters in here that will comment on just about everyone.
I don't know where I was going with this. You look great man. You have biceps I would kill for.
Depends, was the person checking you out attractive? It may be a little shallow, but I find it a little unnerving when I'm obviously drawing a lot of attention from someone that's really, really unappealing. But if they're not really unattractive, I don't know why it would bother you. Take it as a compliment!
Phonomezer
Banned
There was two of them, they were good looking. I kept thinking I had something on my face or bird shit in my hair, haha.
If it makes you feel any better....
...I saw that very same picture posted on some gay tumblr, so some lurker really likes you.
A quick google search revealed that your pic also ended up on some gay chan-like blog. And someone in the comment section even recognized you. So yeah, you're still hot.
Yep. That's what I meant.
King Endymion
Member
Had my first ever experience with a guy this weekend, unplanned and weird. Going from barely having kissed a guy on the cheek before to going all out feels really strange, and I seriously cannot say if I enjoyed it now that I look back on it... Oh well, at least I got to try it out. 
Had my first ever experience with a guy this weekend, unplanned and weird. Going from barely having kissed a guy on the cheek before to going all out feels really strange, and I seriously cannot say if I enjoyed it now that I look back on it... Oh well, at least I got to try it out.
First times are always weird. Don't judge the whole experience out of them
dragonlife
Member
It's only creepy if you're...well, creepy about it. Compliments are easy. It's just that a lot people are annoyingly awkward about giving any because they overthink too much, and they're probably better off not saying anything, anyway.
Had my first ever experience with a guy this weekend, unplanned and weird. Going from barely having kissed a guy on the cheek before to going all out feels really strange, and I seriously cannot say if I enjoyed it now that I look back on it... Oh well, at least I got to try it out.
Yeah, cutie, the first time always sucks. Sorry to tell ya.
MidnightScott
Banned
Had my first ever experience with a guy this weekend, unplanned and weird. Going from barely having kissed a guy on the cheek before to going all out feels really strange, and I seriously cannot say if I enjoyed it now that I look back on it... Oh well, at least I got to try it out.
OMG Boo get it! Yeah it wasn't good for me the first time either, or the second. (I can not do hookups anymore)
Had my first ever experience with a guy this weekend, unplanned and weird. Going from barely having kissed a guy on the cheek before to going all out feels really strange, and I seriously cannot say if I enjoyed it now that I look back on it... Oh well, at least I got to try it out.
First times are weird even if they're not with guys. Give it a little time and see how you feel about it then. I know my first time was really weird and when I look back on it, pretty silly too.
True, and for me I'm not one that gives out compliments readily anyway. It's like whenever a cute girl posts in the thread and there's suddenly a flood of comments of her. Sometimes people just make it a little awkward and I don't really want to be that one that goes too far. If you just come out of the woodwork for a picture or two, it just seems to send creeper vibes.
On the other hand, some people can pull it off because that's who they are and it's not creepy when they do it.
And darthwufei, same thing happen to me last time I posted in that thread. I don't take it personally, especially when people are too busy commenting on some IMO very average looking people.
I'm shallow
Well, perhaps you guys need to post more pictures so we can better judge this. You know, for science.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Had my first ever experience with a guy this weekend, unplanned and weird. Going from barely having kissed a guy on the cheek before to going all out feels really strange, and I seriously cannot say if I enjoyed it now that I look back on it... Oh well, at least I got to try it out.
Did you throw up?
My first didn't suck but the subsequent times were infinitely better.
And darthwufei, same thing happen to me last time I posted in that thread. I don't take it personally, especially when people are too busy commenting on some IMO very average looking people.
I'm shallow
Hey hey some of them are hot :/
Hecatonchires Custom
Member
My first didn't suck but the subsequent times were infinitely better.
And darthwufei, same thing happen to me last time I posted in that thread. I don't take it personally, especially when people are too busy commenting on some IMO very average looking people.
I'm shallow
Haha same here man though I'm not creepy tumblr blog material I'll admit.
My picture was posted a couple of pages before yours. I must be one of the very average looking people.And darthwufei, same thing happen to me last time I posted in that thread. I don't take it personally, especially when people are too busy commenting on some IMO very average looking people.
I'm shallow
King Endymion
Member
Haha, no, everything was nice when it happened, it just feels off looking back on it...
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