And now, for an installment in Mordeccai's adventures.
Greetings friends, today I had a journey to the local mall. Our trip begins with a casual, leisurely mile and a half stroll in beautiful Florida weather. Sticky, oppressively hot, and lightly breezy, the outdoors were not too unkind. While minding my business, I walk pass a bus stop when a man beings yelling.
"
Ay! Ay yo!" I hear a man yelling in my direction even though I was jamming to some Tom Petty on my headphones. Gingerly, cautiously, I raise a hand up to my ear and remove the earbud to give a further listen.
"Yo! You with the white shoes!" I turn my full attention towards the bus stop and notice a large intimidating shirtless man walking towards me. This guys underwear are hiked up to his belly button (they appear to be tightey whiteys), he's wearing tight skinny jeans that produce an obscene bulge in his crotchetal area, he has a six pack and a barrel shaped chest and this crazy ass tattoo on his head that wraps in tribal patterns from the middle of his neck up and around his ear.
A unique mixture of curious, confused, and cowed, I hesitantly reply "Yeah?"
"Can ya gimme my shirt hangin over on that tree I think that shits dry now" Mr. Unique asks of me. Hanging on a low limb is a shirt that was still soaked and reeked of wet dog, onions, and marijuana. I can only surmise somebody threw the bong water from a six foot bong onto this guys clothes, but honestly I had no idea what was occuring. I quickly toss the man his clothes, tell him to take it easy, and walk off on my way.
I then proceeded to eat some Wendys when I arrive at the mall. This is what was placed before me after a transaction involving green paper and a few pleasant nothings to the cashier.
"Oh shit. Can I eat this without dying?" I silently think to myself. The grease on the bun shimmers in the fluorescent mall lighting, both beckoning to my American heritage and scaring the hell out of the common sense gizmos up in my cranium. I begin to feast, and get this far:
Before the grease begins to stop up my throat and choke me. Half of that burger had to be grease, but the parts I did manage to eat were delicious.
Now the funny part, trade in credit at Gamestop. I actually got 85$ for ten games with the Steam promo which was more than I expected but I'm going to list some of this shit off because it makes no god damn sense.
Vanquish- 3.90$ What the fuck?
NCAA '11 - 5.20 WITH 1.50 extra from a promo for a total of 6.70. What in the fuck again, this game is worth twice as much as Vanquish?
Fallout New Vegas - 5.85$. How in the hell is NCAA '11 worth more than Fallout NV?!
Our adventure ends with a story of the Gamestop cashier. This guy was mindfucked by the reversible covers I had flipped onto the ICO/SOTC collection. I hand him the game and he says "What is this? I can't scan it if there is no bar code." He opens up the case before I can say anything and notices the front cover through the inner plastic.
The guy slowly lets the case down, makes eye contact with me, and says "This is the greatest day of my life. I'm going to buy this when you leave." I was confused by this because he worked in a god damn Gamestop and I couldn't see how different cover artwork would inspire him to buy a game but to each his own. Asked for my Steam Wallet cards and went on my way.
I realize this was overly long, but I have nothing better to do with my life.
tl;dr there was no point so you're not missing out on much.