Gucci Messiah
Banned
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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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stn
Member
This needs to be underlined: You should absolutely be a nice guy! What it really means, however, is to have standards, pride, and not to let the woman stomp on you. Also, do not reek of desperation.
You're supposed to be a gentleman and have chivalry, just don't let the girl keep you on a leash. Stand up for yourself and be very assertive, especially when making your attraction known to the girl. For example: You guys are holding hands and yet you hesitate to kiss. Just move in and do it, assert your control.
All of that can be done without being an asshole. Only stupid women want men who abuse them verbally and physically, lol.
You're supposed to be a gentleman and have chivalry, just don't let the girl keep you on a leash. Stand up for yourself and be very assertive, especially when making your attraction known to the girl. For example: You guys are holding hands and yet you hesitate to kiss. Just move in and do it, assert your control.
All of that can be done without being an asshole. Only stupid women want men who abuse them verbally and physically, lol.
Devolution
Member
Also being too nice is fucking boring. Just putting that out there. No reason you can't be super lovey dovey when you're actually in the relationship but in terms of keeping interest, being more assertive and even a bit dickish (in a humorous way) is probably better.
Vermillion
Banned
I'm sure that I'm more of a pushover for guys than girls.
Which is probably why when people are introducing me, they're like "this is ______, he's nice." Well, to be fair, that's happened once, but I remember that.
Which is probably why when people are introducing me, they're like "this is ______, he's nice." Well, to be fair, that's happened once, but I remember that.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
Ha, be sure to update us
What if you just don't have a temper? I never get angry at anything, I often make sarcastic dickish jokes but that's about it.
Count Dookkake
Member
If your jimmies are never rustled, some may think you have no jimmies.
Devolution
Member
Or you're the type to seethe. I have yet to meet someone that "never gets angry" they just bottle shit up.
AdventureRacing
Member
You don't need to have a temper or get angry to do what you were saying anyway.
Devolution
Member
True enough.
A lot of these "rules" change depending on how attractive you are. Attractive guys can get away with a lot more, and with women it's almost always better to be "imperfect", as long as you can get the chemistry going another way. Don't open her door (or if you're ballsy like me, stand by the door waiting for her to open it for you lol). Have an unpopular opinion contrary to hers. Whatever it is you choose, women like to have something to "work on". Perfection is boring. Stop trying to be perfect, instead try to ruffle her feathers, she gets enough ass-kissing from all the other guys she goes out with. Stand out by challenging her.
Why can't I just be honest about my likes and dislikes? If we're two different people we can't like exactly the same things. Your post can be construed as "try to piss her off" - which I'm sure may work for building attraction it's probably not the most ideal way about going about things. If you mean 'tease more' i think that's rather different.
You should be honest about your dislikes and likes. Absolutely.
I think what he means is that let it be known that you disagree on something if you do. Agreeing on everything and being the same is mondo boring.
And use the word "mondo" in conversation. It's like magic.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
Do you think bottling up that anger is better or worse than just getting outright pissed from time to time?
You can and I'm saying you should. Unfortunately most guys aren't. In most guys' minds, if some super hot babe decided to give them a chance on a date, and she brings up an opinion they don't agree with, probably 75% or more of men will keep their mouth shut and just laugh it off, afraid to piss her off and ruin their chances for a second date.
It might sound juvenile but I hate anyone asking questions about my relationships.
I just responded with a "oh well that 15" tv wont do for one of those movies, we'll have to figure something out for that." and continued on with the rest of the conversation. No reply yet though...
Devolution
Member
Well (not that I didn't have my own issues) my ex was all about bottling shit up and being passive aggressive then exploding sometimes (which was scary). I just prefer someone who gets mad but is reasonable about it.
And that's when the boring sets in.
What's going on here. Lemme see if I can help someone out....
Welp....deuces ya'll.
Welp....deuces ya'll.
2013 = the year of lowered standards.
it's not like my standards were ever high or unrealistic, but since going after the girls i want clearly hasn't been working, i'm just gonna take what comes my way for the most part even if it's not what i want. you know, get in where you fit in.
i wish i could say i'm thrilled about it but i'm not. and i know yall will probably (definitely) say i'm not doing it right. but it just seems necessary at this point.
it's not like my standards were ever high or unrealistic, but since going after the girls i want clearly hasn't been working, i'm just gonna take what comes my way for the most part even if it's not what i want. you know, get in where you fit in.
i wish i could say i'm thrilled about it but i'm not. and i know yall will probably (definitely) say i'm not doing it right. but it just seems necessary at this point.
As this is the first time I am posting in this thread, I have followed this thread before. I didn't put much time in girls, but I thought f*ck let's start, so I started a few weeks back, with online dating. I am in my eyes okay looking.
I don't think there is a right or a wrong. In my opinion it's often about chemistry. And what you want, I mean you can have great chemistry but for 1 night, or chemistry for soul mates.
I think with many things you do in life you have to come out of your comfort-zone and catch what life throws at you.
Most important, be yourself, I read the above posts about being nice, well that's me, I think about other people, If I overhear them about they liking something, and I happen to run into it, I will get it for them (I call first)
I don't get angry fast, but if you manage to get me angry, you are f*cked.
I just started a new relationship, and I don't know which way it will go, but ill just see what life throws at me.
What I do agree upon is, GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. (if it misfires, to bad, next time better luck, you have learned something new)
What I did with this girl was the following, on our first date I could tell she liked me, she proposed she wanted to get a drink (we had dinner), so I touched her when we had a drink, on her leg, arm, (well she hinted she did sports like me and had some muscles, I do P90X
rollerblading and lance Armstrong cycling ) (she didn't mind, chemistry) she also did this with me.
On the end of the date, she walked me back (I was in her town), I was almost at the train station (didn't went by car, so I could grab a drink), I stopped grabbed here back/ass pulled here closer and kissed here, deal sealed. (normally I don't do this, but I said fuck it, I like her)
So she now knows my nice side and my ballsy side. She meet the nice side on the later dates
In the end of the day this counts, be yourself and get out of your comfort zone if you really like something.
I don't think there is a right or a wrong. In my opinion it's often about chemistry. And what you want, I mean you can have great chemistry but for 1 night, or chemistry for soul mates.
I think with many things you do in life you have to come out of your comfort-zone and catch what life throws at you.
Most important, be yourself, I read the above posts about being nice, well that's me, I think about other people, If I overhear them about they liking something, and I happen to run into it, I will get it for them (I call first)
I don't get angry fast, but if you manage to get me angry, you are f*cked.
I just started a new relationship, and I don't know which way it will go, but ill just see what life throws at me.
What I do agree upon is, GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. (if it misfires, to bad, next time better luck, you have learned something new)
What I did with this girl was the following, on our first date I could tell she liked me, she proposed she wanted to get a drink (we had dinner), so I touched her when we had a drink, on her leg, arm, (well she hinted she did sports like me and had some muscles, I do P90X
rollerblading and lance Armstrong cycling ) (she didn't mind, chemistry) she also did this with me.On the end of the date, she walked me back (I was in her town), I was almost at the train station (didn't went by car, so I could grab a drink), I stopped grabbed here back/ass pulled here closer and kissed here, deal sealed. (normally I don't do this, but I said fuck it, I like her)
So she now knows my nice side and my ballsy side. She meet the nice side on the later dates
In the end of the day this counts, be yourself and get out of your comfort zone if you really like something.
NeOak
Member
As this is the first time I am posting in this thread, I have followed this thread before. I didn't put much time in girls, but I thought f*ck let's start, so I started a few weeks back, with online dating. I am in my eyes okay looking.
I don't think there is a right or a wrong. In my opinion it's often about chemistry. And what you want, I mean you can have great chemistry but for 1 night, or chemistry for soul mates.
I think with many things you do in life you have to come out of your comfort-zone and catch what life throws at you.
Most important, be yourself, I read the above posts about being nice, well that's me, I think about other people, If I overhear them about they liking something, and I happen to run into it, I will get it for them (I call first)
I don't get angry fast, but if you manage to get me angry, you are f*cked.
I just started a new relationship, and I don't know which way it will go, but ill just see what life throws at me.
What I do agree upon is, GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. (if it misfires, to bad, next time better luck, you have learned something new)
What I did with this girl was the following, on our first date I could tell she liked me, she proposed she wanted to get a drink (we had dinner), so I touched her when we had a drink, on her leg, arm, (well she hinted the did sports like me and had some muscles, I do P90X
On the end of the date, she walked me back (I was in her town), I was almost at the train station (didn't went by car, so I could grab a drink), I stopped grabbed here back/ass pulled here closer and kissed here, deal sealed. (normally I don't do this, but I said fuck it, I like her)
So she now knows my nice side and my ballsy side. She meet the nice side on the later dates
In the end of the day this counts, be yourself and get out of your comfort zone if you really like something.
Good luck in your future endeavors!
A girl I'd written off as not interested and hadn't talked to in a while suddenly messaged me today asking how my Christmas had been, then over the next hour asked me all kinds of questions about myself, by the end of it we agreed to do some gaming together at my place when the Holidays are over and we're back to class.
What's with her sudden change of heart?
What's with her sudden change of heart?
The Orange
Member
True clichés time
Rocket Scientist
Member
This doesn't seem like the time to ask this question (the only right time being when someone is flaking out all the time, hot and cold etc etc all the time). Just go with the flow for now. Sounds like you're going to at least have fun gaming and hanging out.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
Is setteling really going to make you happy or fill a void?
Stephen Colbert
Banned
So gaf, need your input. What are the best hobbies I can take up where I will be meeting lots of youngish attractive girls.
I enjoy doing just about anything as long as it doesn't involve lots of physical activity (so no hiking, mountain climbing etc).
What meetup should I join?
I enjoy doing just about anything as long as it doesn't involve lots of physical activity (so no hiking, mountain climbing etc).
What meetup should I join?
I don't think that's gonna really make you happy. A mod in the girl age topic set it out straight in terms of the reality of that mentality.
I know it's slim pickings due to my hobbies/interests. But I'm just so much happier when I do find someone that's accepting and on the same wavelength.
Ah yes it was Opiate in lady age.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=45309950&postcount=3537
Also: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=45311086&postcount=3548
That's a good point. The flow I will join.
I'm actually really curious about this. I'm in a pretty similar situation with the mood changes it seems, or maybe like the posts above, I'm just being impatient. When do you start calling them out on flaking out/being cold etc? As it stands, it's the 2nd time she's gone cold on me in terms of communication and whatnot. (She's busy for the next couple of weeks, doesn't know when she we could get together) 1st time though, like a week later, she calls me out of the blue and we go at it again up until this point.
electricshake
Member
That's fine, definitely better than nice (aka boring). My flatmate is the same, he's so laid back it's ridiculous. The only times I ever see him get really angry are work related (we both used to be supervisors at a supermarket) and playing Super Meat Boy. He's good at sarcastic dickish jokes as well. Pretty much all he does.
Salsa Dancing?
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Don't.
Rocket Scientist
Member
How long have you known each other and have you been on dates or something? Does she ignore when you try to communicate to her?
RedNalgene
Member
Just wanted to quote this again because it's really important. Most women don't want lapdogs who will agree with everything she says (unless you're extremely attractive, and she just wants you to shut up and look pretty). Some levels of disagreement are healthy and make for a much more interesting relationship/date.
Suggest a new date with dinner at hers or your place ("and we'll take it from there"). If that's no good, walk away. There's no need to call them out on their bullshit, that won't help anybody. On to the next one instead.
I echo the "don'ts". You aren't going to be happy, trust us.
I had chances to settle, but I passed because I know what I want in someone. Then a bit later I did find someone who is making me happy, and that I actually want to be with. I wouldn't have been happy if I settled just for the sake of being in a relationship. And you won't either.
Don't be desperate, man. Just keep trying.
Rocket Scientist
Member
That's a bit harsh. If it turns out that you don't like something (say salsa), yet you continue hanging around just for the women, then yeah that's a bit pathetic. In general it's always good to try new things though. If you're not meeting anyone interesting in your usual environment you can't do anything but expand it by looking for new hobbies.
Try out new hobbies, you should always seek to better yourself and picking something up that you've always wanted to do is a great way of doing so, but yes pick those hobbies up for your own betterment.
I know everyone said don't, so I'll be the only one on the "Do It!" side. Every man has a right to bang women, don't sit around for years waiting for that perfect 10, if your standards are too high or at a level where you're not meeting women, lower them. It's that simple.
It doesn't mean stop improving yourself, but it's easier to improve yourself WHILE you're dating women. It helps you learn what works and what doesn't AND get real-time feedback, instead of waiting forever to try out your new tricks on someone that never comes. Nothing wrong with working yourself up, otherwise you might end up being that lonely, bitter guy who says he's single and has been for the last 20 years because he's "picky". To that guy I always think: Get over yourself, dude.
I meant it like zethren put it above
If you're only looking for new extra curricular activities just for the sake of meeting new girls to hit on, then you'll find little sympathy here.Like everything, and I've said this in regards to multiple topics in this thread, there's a fine line. A balancing act.
Don't be desperate and lower your standards just to get with the first girl that gives you attention, but also don't be too picky (forever searching for that "perfect 10" like MVP said).
Have standards, but don't put the thought of a woman/man up on a pedestal to the point where you're more enamored with the "idea" of your potential gf/bf rather than one that appears right before you and could be what you need/have been looking for.
Don't be desperate and lower your standards just to get with the first girl that gives you attention, but also don't be too picky (forever searching for that "perfect 10" like MVP said).
Have standards, but don't put the thought of a woman/man up on a pedestal to the point where you're more enamored with the "idea" of your potential gf/bf rather than one that appears right before you and could be what you need/have been looking for.
stn
Member
Be friends with girl, things are normal. Suddenly she starts to talk less, blocks me from FB and ignores me. I ignore back. Many many months later and I receive a friend request again on FB.
I already took the liberty of rejecting her friend request and blocking her, but lol...
/end of rant.
I already took the liberty of rejecting her friend request and blocking her, but lol...
/end of rant.
Any ideas on why she blocked you to begin with?RedNalgene
Member
Found someone who she is romantically interested in. The guy feels threatened and wants her to cut contact with you. Later, she and guy break up, she wants you back in her life since the guy is no longer there.
Just one theory - you won't know unless you ask her, which I don't think is such a bad thing.
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