It's probably how you said it. Not that it's a good excuse for her behavior mind you. Cutting contact from anyone based on a small trivial event is silly based on any context.
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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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I'm sitting here wondering what to do as well.
A friend of mines girlfriend was going to have a party, but it looks like it would just be me, my mate, and his girlfriend.
It'll be incredibly boring, so I'm trying to think what else to do.
Pretty much what FelixOrion said, I don't get invited to them.
I've been to a couple, so it's sad knowing how fun they are.
I think it really would've opened me up more if I got invited to them, but alas that probably will never happen.
I would've done, but it seems like everyone bailed apart from my mate and his girlfriend.Go to the party, it's better than gaf
Count Dookkake
Member
Perhaps you should tell her to kindly STFU.
It's like she's determined for me to hear it all, despite telling her I didn't want to hear it, instead of saying it directly to me, she'll talk to someone else about it within my hearing distance, or to the ex's mom on the phone when I'm a room away.
Count Dookkake
Member
Mom's kinda effed.
Try talking about stuff that upsets her and see what happens.
Try talking about stuff that upsets her and see what happens.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Yep, you're done. Sorry, friend.I just tried to see if there was actually a misunderstanding and i got "urgh" in return.
Don't be sorry. I feel quite relieved.
Jake Tower
Banned
Just wanted to say to OP: UP THE IRONS!
Flying Toaster
Member
Assuming this was a text based conversation. Was it
You: I know it's early but Happy New Year, i likely won't be on over new years
Her: Hi, that it is early
You: Bye
Cause that is kinda dickish...
Our moms wanted us to get married and I don't think my mom believes that it was my ex who messed shit up. My mom is incredibly laid back otherwise and the only thing I could really talk about to upset her would be my brother's death and that's not something I'm going to do.
Dickish yes, but enough to delete the person entirely from your life? Doubtful.
Edit: Funny link:
http://roflzone.com/wanna-play-a-game/
Incoming wall of text. If anyone would gladly help me out with this, I would really appreciate it. This is the first girl I'm interested in that I feel I gel with and adds to my life. I don't want to muck it up somehow with my lack of experience.
I met this girl at school after a club meeting. She was part of a program that wasn't part of the school but shared the building on that specific campus. She saw me talking with two other guys and invited us over to join their class party. That's how we met. Every week from then, we would chat during our class breaks off and on. It kept me occupied while waiting for the next class to begin. She would ask a lot of questions regarding what my club was about and what were trying to do and though she wasn't a gamer herself, she ended up joining our game development club. We did not exchange contact information.
Soon after the semester ended, she added me on Facebook and we hit it off from there. She totally showed a different side of her. She would initiate contact every time, she was more playful and asked a lot of questions about me like the type of music I listen to and other things. She invited me to go to events with her (Wondercon) that she had no previous interest in but thought I would (admittedly, I had to look it up after she suggested it). Without asking, she gave me her number and since then, texts me almost every day at night. Within the week, I asked her to meet up for coffee/tea to which she gladly accepted.
Despite not getting tips for my previous post about my coffee meetup, I followed my instincts and it went well. We met up at 5 pm only to end up leaving at 12 am. @.@ I feel like we hit it off well, noticing the things we have in common and the things we don't. In general, her behavior was much different from our school breaks. She would laugh at everything I would say, even my purposely terrible jokes. She walked closely to me, brushing up to my arm and she never expressed discomfort whenever I touched her arms or hands. At the end of the night, we talked about several things. One of which she agreed to travel with me (she's never left the state outside of a different country). She also asked questions that I felt were too personal for a first gathering.
If 99 things went well, it's one thing that threw me off. When I suggested that we should go out more to get to know each other better, she slightly laughed adding it was funny the way I said it. Sometime during a lull, she asked me what I was thinking and I asked her the same. She told me she was thinking about a lot of things and making a lot of decisions. I don't know what she was thinking. Honestly, I was thrown off by that.
In any case, there's many things she does that exhibit interest. That, I have no doubt of. What I'm asking for is help on how to proceed. She loves ice skating, so I'm going to ask her out to that for this Friday. She's a shy person and this will be our second time meeting up outside of school. What should I do?
I met this girl at school after a club meeting. She was part of a program that wasn't part of the school but shared the building on that specific campus. She saw me talking with two other guys and invited us over to join their class party. That's how we met. Every week from then, we would chat during our class breaks off and on. It kept me occupied while waiting for the next class to begin. She would ask a lot of questions regarding what my club was about and what were trying to do and though she wasn't a gamer herself, she ended up joining our game development club. We did not exchange contact information.
Soon after the semester ended, she added me on Facebook and we hit it off from there. She totally showed a different side of her. She would initiate contact every time, she was more playful and asked a lot of questions about me like the type of music I listen to and other things. She invited me to go to events with her (Wondercon) that she had no previous interest in but thought I would (admittedly, I had to look it up after she suggested it). Without asking, she gave me her number and since then, texts me almost every day at night. Within the week, I asked her to meet up for coffee/tea to which she gladly accepted.
Despite not getting tips for my previous post about my coffee meetup, I followed my instincts and it went well. We met up at 5 pm only to end up leaving at 12 am. @.@ I feel like we hit it off well, noticing the things we have in common and the things we don't. In general, her behavior was much different from our school breaks. She would laugh at everything I would say, even my purposely terrible jokes. She walked closely to me, brushing up to my arm and she never expressed discomfort whenever I touched her arms or hands. At the end of the night, we talked about several things. One of which she agreed to travel with me (she's never left the state outside of a different country). She also asked questions that I felt were too personal for a first gathering.
If 99 things went well, it's one thing that threw me off. When I suggested that we should go out more to get to know each other better, she slightly laughed adding it was funny the way I said it. Sometime during a lull, she asked me what I was thinking and I asked her the same. She told me she was thinking about a lot of things and making a lot of decisions. I don't know what she was thinking. Honestly, I was thrown off by that.
In any case, there's many things she does that exhibit interest. That, I have no doubt of. What I'm asking for is help on how to proceed. She loves ice skating, so I'm going to ask her out to that for this Friday. She's a shy person and this will be our second time meeting up outside of school. What should I do?
I realized instantly it was dickish and apologized straight away, I even said that I was in a bad mood coz of uni stress. That was when I saw she had deleted me.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Because it is kind of weird. You're expressing interest in a sheepish, too-polite way. You like the girl and it seems clear she likes you. Why not just kiss her instead?
twilitesparklemotion
Member
Yeah, this. Have fun!
It didn't feel right at the moment. We were both sitting on chairs facing each other. I would have had to walk to the other side. Not making excuses, I'm just saying how I felt during that moment. I'm clueless when it comes to this stuff unfortunately.
We're both shy people. But I've made incredible progress on being more outgoing, social, and taking risks. But I guess I didn't have it in me to take the leap just yet. I'm not giving up.
I'd try talking to her once again after the holidays and if she's not interested, let it go. Or drop it immediately since it sounds too weird to work with.
PflargBlarg
Member
I think if you do the subscribe thing you can filter by things like attractiveness.
Skel1ingt0n
I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
Doubt anyone cares - but I decided to go. Had a relaxing day of nothing yesterday - spent an entire afternoon browsing and playing games. This morning I spent quality time with my family and got to see Django unchained. I have tomorrow off. I can afford the ~$80 for the ticket. I have a couple people asking me to go. And I even got someone else to drive me out and drive me back tomorrow morning/afternoon. I just, really, had no excuse not to go.
We'll see how it goes - I'll be a good sport and try to have fun. But the "clubbing" scene is really, really not my thing at all.
NeOak
Member
Ok NYE house party is over and damn I'm furious with myself. Two mini-stories.
Firstly, I was chatting to my friends girlfriend about the girl I was dating and she said something to the effect that she was way too pretty for me. OUCH. I mean. I know I'm quite unattractive but it's still not very nice to hear. She tried to backpedal a FAIR bit when I was like "ouch" and literally ran away out of embarassment the first chance she got, but it still hurt a little.
Secondly, I was chatting to a girl I've met once or twice before for a bit last night and I wasn't REALLY trying to hit on her but later during the night when we were all drunk she said I was such a nice guy and my heart literally sunk. She gave me a big hug and I basically just gave it to her because I had basically just died inside. I wasn't bending over for this girl, if helping her zip up her dress after taking it off for shots and was struggling badly puts you in the friendzone nice guy purgatory then I give up.
Sigh. I got a lot to work on.
Firstly, I was chatting to my friends girlfriend about the girl I was dating and she said something to the effect that she was way too pretty for me. OUCH. I mean. I know I'm quite unattractive but it's still not very nice to hear. She tried to backpedal a FAIR bit when I was like "ouch" and literally ran away out of embarassment the first chance she got, but it still hurt a little.
Secondly, I was chatting to a girl I've met once or twice before for a bit last night and I wasn't REALLY trying to hit on her but later during the night when we were all drunk she said I was such a nice guy and my heart literally sunk. She gave me a big hug and I basically just gave it to her because I had basically just died inside. I wasn't bending over for this girl, if helping her zip up her dress after taking it off for shots and was struggling badly puts you in the friendzone nice guy purgatory then I give up.
Sigh. I got a lot to work on.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Petty sure that's the textbook definition of "nice guy". =P
Skel1ingt0n
I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
That's unfair - what else is he supposed to do? Say "no, I won't zip up your dress."?
lol
Like I said. I wasn't trying to pick this girl up. We were chatting and if anything I would've preferred to keep the option open and since she was basically fetching me drinks half the night I didn't think it would be too much of an ask to spend the 3 seconds it took to help her out. Plus I sort of saw it as a window to escalate, which I may have tried to seize had I not been COMPLETELY thrown off by the "You're such a nice guy!" line. I must admit I didnt handle it very well. I basically said No Im not. Ugh. I hate hearing that. And got a massive hug but still. Infuriating to say the least.
Haha, funny guy
Updated post 2. Will fix the description tomorrow, I'm drunk and tired at the moment.^^ "No thanks, but I'll help you unzip it later" :lol
"Are you trying to get me drunk?"
electricshake
Member
Slightly drunken wall of text. I was at my friends wedding in August and hooked up with a guy I met. I spent the next night with him as well though I didn't sleep with him. Ended up giving him a lift home from the wedding (a few hours drive; we were away for the weekend). Get his no, add him on fb. I went on holiday the next day but we talk on fb chat when I'm away. He said he'd like to see me when I'm home. When I get back I suggested we go for a drink but he said he was busy but didn't suggest another day. We don't talk for a week and a half so I assume he's not interested. I delete him and hear nothing from him. Today I find out one of my so called friends warned him off me (the couple who got married told me). For so long I assumed I'd done something wrong...and now I find out it was one of my friends...I don't know what to think anymore.
I have a friend who I'm really close to, but romantic thoughts have never crossed my mind with her, probably because when we first met she was really young. (Three year age difference, we met when I was 18) But recently some other people have brought something up that made me question things, I keep getting mentions that the two of us act exactly like a couple, and a lot of surprise from strangers that we aren't one. And when I sat down and thought about it I realized it was really quite true. We're totally casual with physical contact when neither of us are with other people, we're always the first person the other goes to in a crisis. Hell we even go on dates, though we've never called them that. (I will admit, all of those are things that happen in friendships, it just made me realize how other people could see us as a couple, which lead to me thinking about it)
And then I realized how beautiful a woman she's grown into and that maybe I've had some feelings for her all along. But damn I'm pretty sure that boat sailed a long time ago, she even told a few people she isn't interested in dating me when asked if we were a couple.
But from now on there's going to be this sense of regret from my side in our friendship that just may drive me insane.
And then I realized how beautiful a woman she's grown into and that maybe I've had some feelings for her all along. But damn I'm pretty sure that boat sailed a long time ago, she even told a few people she isn't interested in dating me when asked if we were a couple.
But from now on there's going to be this sense of regret from my side in our friendship that just may drive me insane.
Even though I have no experience with relationships whatsoever, I reckon I can figure this one out with pure math.
Chance of regret on your part if you do nothing and allow the situation to remain as is: 100%
Chance of regret if you talk to her about your feelings: less than 100%
I.E. there is a non-zero possibility that if you talk to her, things will work out the way you want them to. But if you don't talk to her, the possibility is zero.
Vermillion
Banned
Chance of regret if he does nothing is also less than 100%.
And chance of regret if he talks to her can be 100%.
Actually at this point he's better off talking to her. Once feelings for a person are realized, the entire nature of the relationship between those two people change, for better or worse.
Better to get things off of his chest, and if he gets rejected, well, at least he tried.
Vermillion
Banned
Oh, I know. I'm just being precise for no reason at all.
PflargBlarg
Member
Good lord I am drunk. I think I made out with about 3 girls at the new year's party I went to. I don't even know.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
hey gaf I touched a girl last night
Doctor West
Member
I'm going out with this girl this weekend, but I don't remember her name. She only told me once in a message that I deleted a while back because it seemed like she had moved on. How do I play this? lol
Be social and introduce her to someone (anyone really). Or man up and tell the truth. If she can't take it, good riddance. Or playfully ask to see some ID (so she's not jailbait)
Good work even better if it's obvious that she isn't.I got around this once by saying I couldnt believe she was as old as she really was (didn't ask her age though) and asked to see proof. Drivers licence solved it. Sort of a perfect storm moment though. Wish I had a better tactic to share
This just sounds bizarre. Did your "friend" tell them you had an STD or something?
NeOak
Member
Be smart and start a conversation about pictures, family etc and discuss how driver license pictures all suck. Offer to show her yours if she shows you hers.
Very clever actually *thumbs up*
Perspicacity
Banned
Do the cops know?
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