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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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Yeah I have this problem as well. Don't do it. Damn brain zaps.
The Grim Heaper
Member
I went 3 days and it was the worst.
I was thinking Oomi. We all love your art on Depression GAF but we are not exactly a wide audience. I did a search and I found no "ART |OT|" on GAF. Im sure you are not the only artistic member here so its about time there is one. And I can think of a better person to start one than you.
Collete
Member
No I know there is an "Art OT". I post on daily drawing gaf as well now. I just don't post in Art OT because I don't think anyone will get my art there. It's not a place really for abstract art. It's more for advanced to intermediate level art, not for things like mine.
Speaking is a skill you can develop:
Strategies for a Stronger Voice
Strategies to Prevent Trail Off
Voice training youtube channel
wastewater
Neo Member
Hi gaf i'd like your opinion on something, i'll try to keep it short.
Basically i've been seeing a counselor over the past 12 weeks and we've been talking about my social anxiety which i think stems from trust issues, automatic negative assumptions and reading too much into things etc etc. I've had these issues plus others on and off for about 3 or 4 years now, over the course of these sessions i'd been making significant progress and i'm feeling pretty well at the minute.
The problem is during these sessions i'd noticed the counselor constantly checking the clock, now my automatic assumption led to me thinking i was boring him or something but in reality that may not have been the case, they have to keep track of time afterall. However i also noticed that he'd roll his eyes sometimes during our conversations and i'm struggling to come to a rational conclusion other than he was being a condescending dick face.
It's confusing me because even with the clock-checking and eye-rolling he was still keeping track of what we were talking about and as i said i've been making progress, it wasn't until the session last week when i noticed the eye rolling again that i got extremely annoyed and completely lost any 'rapport' i had with him then and there. I was supposed to go to my last week but i cancelled because i stopped trusting him and may have lost my rag if he'd done it again.
What do you think? A) Condescending dick face or B) reading too much into it, again ;_;
Thanks guys.
Basically i've been seeing a counselor over the past 12 weeks and we've been talking about my social anxiety which i think stems from trust issues, automatic negative assumptions and reading too much into things etc etc. I've had these issues plus others on and off for about 3 or 4 years now, over the course of these sessions i'd been making significant progress and i'm feeling pretty well at the minute.
The problem is during these sessions i'd noticed the counselor constantly checking the clock, now my automatic assumption led to me thinking i was boring him or something but in reality that may not have been the case, they have to keep track of time afterall. However i also noticed that he'd roll his eyes sometimes during our conversations and i'm struggling to come to a rational conclusion other than he was being a condescending dick face.
It's confusing me because even with the clock-checking and eye-rolling he was still keeping track of what we were talking about and as i said i've been making progress, it wasn't until the session last week when i noticed the eye rolling again that i got extremely annoyed and completely lost any 'rapport' i had with him then and there. I was supposed to go to my last week but i cancelled because i stopped trusting him and may have lost my rag if he'd done it again.
What do you think? A) Condescending dick face or B) reading too much into it, again ;_;
Thanks guys.
Why don't you ask him? There's simply not enough information to say for sure but if you're not connecting with him for whatever reason, he needs to know that.
Not sure about eye-rolling, but in therapy, unless you have a great body clock, you ned to keep watching the clock (inconspicuously!). You don't want the session to build to some huge thing and end right then. So you kind of try to se what time you have as you steer the conversation.
Or he's a cock.
wastewater
Neo Member
Yeah, inconspicuous it definately wasn't lol. About asking him, unfortunately last weeks session was the last and i cancelled partly because i didn't really wanna talk to him and partly because i felt i didn't really need to. I've made a few important decisions and I'm feeling better than i have for quite a while 
I was just wondering if anyone had any other possible explanations for the eye rolling and how they would see it.
Regardless of that stuff i have to say he did help me and we had some interesting conversations, it's just weird that he could be perfectly involved in the conversation whilst looking completely disinterested at the same time. Ehh Who knows, maybe he's just a really good counselor who's tired of hearing about everone else's shit lol.
I was just wondering if anyone had any other possible explanations for the eye rolling and how they would see it.
Regardless of that stuff i have to say he did help me and we had some interesting conversations, it's just weird that he could be perfectly involved in the conversation whilst looking completely disinterested at the same time. Ehh Who knows, maybe he's just a really good counselor who's tired of hearing about everone else's shit lol.
Since I spent time in the hospital and it was unpaid because I used up all my PTO at work I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent and it's spiraling me right back into that super dark black hole suicidal anxiety driven depression I was in when I went to the hospital. I knew this would happen I should have just died.
Well, it's important for a therapist to maintain an emotional distance from his/her clients. I don't think it is a job I could ever do, personally. I get too involved.
beanman25
Member
Why am I like this?
I'm perfectly fine when with people (for instance, went to baseball game with 2 good friends last night and had a blast), but the next morning and for most of the day (I work from home fixing computers and stuff for people) I think nothing but negative thoughts and end up in tears some times.
In the midst of that I go for bike rides to up myself and I'm perfectly fine.
It's been so long, but my mom passed away from ALS in 2004, do you guys think that could be the trigger?
I'm perfectly fine when with people (for instance, went to baseball game with 2 good friends last night and had a blast), but the next morning and for most of the day (I work from home fixing computers and stuff for people) I think nothing but negative thoughts and end up in tears some times.
In the midst of that I go for bike rides to up myself and I'm perfectly fine.
It's been so long, but my mom passed away from ALS in 2004, do you guys think that could be the trigger?
electricshake
Member
This possibly isn't the best thread to ask this but I'll give it a go anyway.
I got prescribed diazepam (valium) today because I'm flying long haul at the weekend and I'm not a good flier. I wanted something to help me sleep and make me less restless. I'm not scared of flying but I do find it makes me pretty anxious/stressed. Anyway my GP recommended I try it out before I go just to see how it made me feel. I took one 2mg tablet an hour and a half ago and a second one about 45 mins later. I don't feel any different. Is this normal? I was under the impression it got to work pretty quickly, though admittedly I'm on a very low dose. I was thinking about just taking an extra tablet or two just before I fly but I was wondering if anyone else had any thoughts. In the leaflet that came with it, the doses suggested are 5-15mg at bedtime to help you sleep, and 5-30mg a day (in divided doses) for anxiety etc.
I got prescribed diazepam (valium) today because I'm flying long haul at the weekend and I'm not a good flier. I wanted something to help me sleep and make me less restless. I'm not scared of flying but I do find it makes me pretty anxious/stressed. Anyway my GP recommended I try it out before I go just to see how it made me feel. I took one 2mg tablet an hour and a half ago and a second one about 45 mins later. I don't feel any different. Is this normal? I was under the impression it got to work pretty quickly, though admittedly I'm on a very low dose. I was thinking about just taking an extra tablet or two just before I fly but I was wondering if anyone else had any thoughts. In the leaflet that came with it, the doses suggested are 5-15mg at bedtime to help you sleep, and 5-30mg a day (in divided doses) for anxiety etc.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
How does a fountain vanish in just two days?
I DON'T KNOW! It's bizarre! I drove past it this morning in the daylight just to make sure it wasn't the darkness fooling my senses but nope, it's still gone...
Just making sure, not really believing this, but are you sure you're in the right place?
No offence, just think that human error would be just much simpler explanation than the fountain being removed. Not that i believe this is the case.
EDIT i've ended up in wrong place myself, thinking it to be the place i thought i was going to... wrong route or some such messing with me.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
So I'm keeping my Facebook so I don't risk losing the only friend I have to hang with. Instead, I literally deleted about half my Friends list. I had 121 friends and I'm down to 62. I'll probably delete a few more but if I'm going to keep FB, I'm getting rid of all the so-called "friends".
Alright:
Before:
After:
At first, I thought... no way. Maybe it's the wrong location but despite the devastation, there's still some recognizable landmarks here, like the tree to the left and the bushy grass thing in the upper right corner, along with the barrel. Folks, we have a missing fountain. Spooky.
Before:
After:
At first, I thought... no way. Maybe it's the wrong location but despite the devastation, there's still some recognizable landmarks here, like the tree to the left and the bushy grass thing in the upper right corner, along with the barrel. Folks, we have a missing fountain. Spooky.
Man... who the heck destroys such a nice fountain?
And dares to leave such an ugly patch of ground in its place
Given that other things were removed as well, I'm guessing the owner took it down. At least, I'm hoping. That's a nicer answer than it being vandalized.
Ever since I cut down my Facebook account to maybe 25-30 friends around the time I moved, it's been less drama and stupid stress in my life. Unfortunately, I had some friends who I wasn't very close to but kept on my Facebook because I felt I had to fulfill some weird, unspoken internet politness obligation even though most of their posts or updates were of constant unhinged bitching about stuff that irritated, angered or upset me. I try to only keep e-friends on my Facebook now that I've gamed with or been on the same gaming forums with for years. The odd person I get to know in real life (ha!) adds me but that's about it. I really don't go on my Facebook a whole lot or take it too seriously, making it one less thing to potentially cause drama in my life when I might be having a hard time and be more susceptible to it.
On another note, ticks are disgusting. I have no issue removing them when they're just dumb little bugs. It's when they're the size of swollen almonds or bigger from gourging on the blood around my dogs ears that I want someone to figure out how to safely wipe them off the face of the earth. /barf
That is really messed up. It looked really nice. :/Man... who the heck destroys such a nice fountain?
And dares to leave such an ugly patch of ground in its place
I was driving to work this morning with QOTSA's new album and this song came on and hit me like a train. This album came out at the perfect time for me.
edit:
This sounds so much like me. I'm not sure about triggers, it could be.
I lost mine at age 8 and have been learning more and more about how it's affected me for the last 3-5 years.
I'm feeling very sad atm, that I'm literally about to burst into tears. Is not depression (I hope), this is different... I just feel so lonely, never felt so lonely in my whole life. Even during the darkest days of my deep depression, my family was there. Granted, more often than not, their advice and support was counterproductive, but at least I knew that they cared for me. They were the main reason of why I didn't took the step of no return and decided to battle the disease instead.
But now, they are 10s of thousands of kilometers away and I have failed to form any kind of bond with someone in here so far. Is no social anxiety: I'm no longer scared to talk to people, It seems like I just don't have the skills to properly socialize. And my random speech disorders, compounded with the unfamiliarity with the local language, just worsens the situation.
Today is a holiday in here, which means that the Institute is closed and I have nowhere to go to. Yeah, I could go to the downtown again, which is mighty beautiful, I could visit some museums and parks, or find some nice place to eat... but alone, again. None to share the experience with which makes it empty and uncomfortable.
So, today I'm just sitting on the hotel lobby typing this post, feeling absolutely miserable.
But now, they are 10s of thousands of kilometers away and I have failed to form any kind of bond with someone in here so far. Is no social anxiety: I'm no longer scared to talk to people, It seems like I just don't have the skills to properly socialize. And my random speech disorders, compounded with the unfamiliarity with the local language, just worsens the situation.
Today is a holiday in here, which means that the Institute is closed and I have nowhere to go to. Yeah, I could go to the downtown again, which is mighty beautiful, I could visit some museums and parks, or find some nice place to eat... but alone, again. None to share the experience with which makes it empty and uncomfortable.
So, today I'm just sitting on the hotel lobby typing this post, feeling absolutely miserable.
4th Chamber
Banned
Hmm. Interesting. Kind of ridiculous this isn't intuitive, and has to be reinforced (in my case). My voice is powerful in the sense that it's stupid deep, but when I'm stressed I lack clarity.
I had less than an hour of sleep when I spoke with that social worker, so maybe it was worse than normal. I try not to entertain embarrassment, but I still feel like an idiot when someone misunderstands me.
Urazien, I've known you for quite some time now and to be honest, we all have our issues (I have a bad anger control issue and I stutter alot when I talk, I wasn't really suppose to talk, at all) and I'll always be here for you. I went to try and get some help with my anger a couple of months ago and it did help me out as well, I'm not saying that I'm never angry, but I can control it much better than I could before and it feels great.
If you ever need any help or anything, I'll be here for you man
Um, what kind of pictures?
I'm glad to hear that therapy is making you feel better. What kind of approach you are aking to deal with childhood abuses?
Hey GAF. I found out today I am a big time self handicapper. Well I known I am for a long time, I just didn't know there is a professional term for it. Self handicapping means sabotaging yourself or set yourself up for failure for fear of failing if you do your best. I am afraid of confirming all those bad beliefs I have about myself. This is why I procrastinate so much, this is why I spend so much time distracting myself with videogame discussions or something else instead of working on writing my thesis or trying to be more social or you know... Doing the things I feel I should be doing. Basicly I think my neurons are wired to see everything as a failure and always think should have should have should have and never congratulating myself when I actually do something good because I think of all the things I dont do.
Im sorry if this is a confusing post.
Im sorry if this is a confusing post.
Hermii that makes perfect sense to me. I didn't know it had a term either. I've had the same(?) problem forever now. I procrastinated horribly all throughout school. I always doubt my actions and am self destructive in nature. I never really made it better. Now I procrastinate important things like getting in contact with people I've gotten business cards for months ago. Still haven't, I'm trying to promise myself this weekend I will. Or at least update my Linkedin.
I've gone to a couple concerts alone before, because I didn't have anyone who wanted to go with me (or I just didn't find them in time). I'd go to a bar next to the venue and start talking to whoever was surrounding me. At that time, it was an old angry and drunk (at 7pm) couple. Not exactly what I'd hoped for but it was entertaining nonetheless. However don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen the first time. Just keep being open and willing to spark conversations with people and you'll find someone interesting.
edit: A couple years ago I was in line in a grocery store and I overheard a couple people in front of me talking about Starcraft 2. Usually I'd just smile to myself and not say anything, but as I had recently gotten into it at that time I chimed in. I've known one of the guys since and he's a good friend, though he moved back to LA for work.
Try to find maybe a hostel to meet some people? Or perhaps some tour that you could go on at one of those museums and chat up someone who looks interesting to you? You aren't afraid of talking to people which is great. Now just put yourself out there and try talking to people.I'm feeling very sad atm, that I'm literally about to burst into tears. Is not depression (I hope), this is different... I just feel so lonely, never felt so lonely in my whole life. Even during the darkest days of my deep depression, my family was there. Granted, more often than not, their advice and support was counterproductive, but at least I knew that they cared for me. They were the main reason of why I didn't took the step of no return and decided to battle the disease instead.
But now, they are 10s of thousands of kilometers away and I have failed to form any kind of bond with someone in here so far. Is no social anxiety: I'm no longer scared to talk to people, It seems like I just don't have the skills to properly socialize. And my random speech disorders, compounded with the unfamiliarity with the local language, just worsens the situation.
Today is a holiday in here, which means that the Institute is closed and I have nowhere to go to. Yeah, I could go to the downtown again, which is mighty beautiful, I could visit some museums and parks, or find some nice place to eat... but alone, again. None to share the experience with which makes it empty and uncomfortable.
So, today I'm just sitting on the hotel lobby typing this post, feeling absolutely miserable.
I've gone to a couple concerts alone before, because I didn't have anyone who wanted to go with me (or I just didn't find them in time). I'd go to a bar next to the venue and start talking to whoever was surrounding me. At that time, it was an old angry and drunk (at 7pm) couple. Not exactly what I'd hoped for but it was entertaining nonetheless. However don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen the first time. Just keep being open and willing to spark conversations with people and you'll find someone interesting.
edit: A couple years ago I was in line in a grocery store and I overheard a couple people in front of me talking about Starcraft 2. Usually I'd just smile to myself and not say anything, but as I had recently gotten into it at that time I chimed in. I've known one of the guys since and he's a good friend, though he moved back to LA for work.
So I've debated posting about it and I'm not quite sure what the best place for it is, but I think I need somewhere to talk about it and put down my thoughts.
I was diagnosed earlier this week with thyroid cancer. It feels so weird to say and be aware of. I know I'm extremely lucky in that it's the "best" cancer to get. There isn't a huge chance I'm going to die from this. In fact, that chance is so small it's probably negligible. Surgery risks are minimal as well as follow up treatment. It's too early to tell if I'm going to need radiation therapy but if I do, once again, it's very minimal. I'm just gonna have to take a daily pill the rest of my life which isn't a big deal compared to what some other people do. And yearly check ups to make sure the cancer doesn't come back or spread.
But I can't help feeling down about it. I'm terrified of the surgery, especially since the last time I had surgery I had severe blood loss. I'm afraid of not waking up after being put under. I'm afraid of losing my voice or being hoarse either temporarily or worse, permanently. I'm afraid of the nerves in my neck being damaged. I'm afraid of infection. I'm afraid that the cancer already spread somewhere else and we just don't know where.
I'm trying my best to keep everything "normal" and routine. But all the appointments and things to do have stressed me out. I just want to sleep all the time. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on silly things like playing video games and reading - which sucks because I need things to preoccupy myself because thinking about this makes me feel worse. I feel like I'm constantly seconds away from crying. And I know I can't do that because it'll just stress everyone else around me more - like my mum. The only person I feel comfortable doing it around is my boyfriend. But even then I feel like there's this expectation to keep acting normal when I don't feel normal. I feel weird and confused and betrayed by my body, if that makes any sense. I'm 21 years old so I didn't expect to have to deal with anything like this yet. None of this feels like it's actually happening and I get through the day by being a bit removed from it. When I talk to my friends about it to keep them updated, I feel like I'm talking about someone else. But the second I do acknowledge it, it's frightening and strange.
Everyone in my life (well, for the most part) has been incredibly supportive and reacted the best they can. Just like with other things though, I feel like talking about this to them will be a burden or make them feel really badly.
I'm just tired. Maybe I'm getting down about nothing and I know it can be so much worse, but I had to get these thoughts out of my brain and somewhere else.
I was diagnosed earlier this week with thyroid cancer. It feels so weird to say and be aware of. I know I'm extremely lucky in that it's the "best" cancer to get. There isn't a huge chance I'm going to die from this. In fact, that chance is so small it's probably negligible. Surgery risks are minimal as well as follow up treatment. It's too early to tell if I'm going to need radiation therapy but if I do, once again, it's very minimal. I'm just gonna have to take a daily pill the rest of my life which isn't a big deal compared to what some other people do. And yearly check ups to make sure the cancer doesn't come back or spread.
But I can't help feeling down about it. I'm terrified of the surgery, especially since the last time I had surgery I had severe blood loss. I'm afraid of not waking up after being put under. I'm afraid of losing my voice or being hoarse either temporarily or worse, permanently. I'm afraid of the nerves in my neck being damaged. I'm afraid of infection. I'm afraid that the cancer already spread somewhere else and we just don't know where.
I'm trying my best to keep everything "normal" and routine. But all the appointments and things to do have stressed me out. I just want to sleep all the time. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on silly things like playing video games and reading - which sucks because I need things to preoccupy myself because thinking about this makes me feel worse. I feel like I'm constantly seconds away from crying. And I know I can't do that because it'll just stress everyone else around me more - like my mum. The only person I feel comfortable doing it around is my boyfriend. But even then I feel like there's this expectation to keep acting normal when I don't feel normal. I feel weird and confused and betrayed by my body, if that makes any sense. I'm 21 years old so I didn't expect to have to deal with anything like this yet. None of this feels like it's actually happening and I get through the day by being a bit removed from it. When I talk to my friends about it to keep them updated, I feel like I'm talking about someone else. But the second I do acknowledge it, it's frightening and strange.
Everyone in my life (well, for the most part) has been incredibly supportive and reacted the best they can. Just like with other things though, I feel like talking about this to them will be a burden or make them feel really badly.
I'm just tired. Maybe I'm getting down about nothing and I know it can be so much worse, but I had to get these thoughts out of my brain and somewhere else.
That's entirely understandable Pau. I think it's normal for anyone to feel that way when they get news like that. I'm really sad to hear it.
However as you already know fortunately it is low risk. Surgery terrifies me as well, but you're surrounded by the right people and they'll help you along every step.
However as you already know fortunately it is low risk. Surgery terrifies me as well, but you're surrounded by the right people and they'll help you along every step.
User 100115
Banned
Pau, I know I haven't actively talked about it with you because I mostly only talk to you when you are in 'distract me, please!' mode, but here we go.
It's only been a week. Fuck everything, cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. It's scary! You are allowed to be scared. Cancer? Would scare the shit out of anyone. Even the 'good' cancer. You don't have to be tough right now; you have to come terms with this shit. Once you do that, THEN you get close your fist and go FUCK YOU CANCER, I GOT THIS! and woop it's ass.
I don't think you can do the second without doing the first erm..first. So yeah, cry if you need to, distract yourself if you need, scream and shout and rail at the unfairness of it all. Because this isn't about anyone else right now. It's about you, and you need to whatever you need to do to come to terms with this and get through it. I am rooting for you hon, and you where I am if you need me.
It's only been a week. Fuck everything, cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. It's scary! You are allowed to be scared. Cancer? Would scare the shit out of anyone. Even the 'good' cancer. You don't have to be tough right now; you have to come terms with this shit. Once you do that, THEN you get close your fist and go FUCK YOU CANCER, I GOT THIS! and woop it's ass.
I don't think you can do the second without doing the first erm..first. So yeah, cry if you need to, distract yourself if you need, scream and shout and rail at the unfairness of it all. Because this isn't about anyone else right now. It's about you, and you need to whatever you need to do to come to terms with this and get through it. I am rooting for you hon, and you where I am if you need me.
Pau - I'm glad you decided to share. I know there are a lot of us ready to do whatever you need from us. It's not a burden at all. I think (I hope!) you know how much you mean to me. If there's anything I can do, just say the word. If you need to talk, you know how to reach me.
There's a reason I have you listed in my phone under "Batman." You got this.
[Stupid personal note: the new meds have been kicking my ass, so I've been hibernating. I'm back now, so come to chat and say hi and stuff!]
There's a reason I have you listed in my phone under "Batman." You got this.
[Stupid personal note: the new meds have been kicking my ass, so I've been hibernating. I'm back now, so come to chat and say hi and stuff!]
Took my morning medication late and it's noticeable alright. Fuck, just feel angry and empty at the moment.
Pau- That's really tough and you have my condolences. Cancer is a genetic plague in my family. My mom is very prone to growing malignant tumours and has been fighting different forms of cancer (breast, ovarian) for years now. She is currently in remission, but I understand how much of an impact cancer can have on a family, and how devastating it can be. You having it at such a young age is especially hard, I won't even try and understand how that feels, it would be presumptuous of me to do so.
I would let those emotions out though, fuck keeping that shit bottled up. You have every right to let that stuff out. This thread could be a place for airing such frustrations.
Pau- That's really tough and you have my condolences. Cancer is a genetic plague in my family. My mom is very prone to growing malignant tumours and has been fighting different forms of cancer (breast, ovarian) for years now. She is currently in remission, but I understand how much of an impact cancer can have on a family, and how devastating it can be. You having it at such a young age is especially hard, I won't even try and understand how that feels, it would be presumptuous of me to do so.
I would let those emotions out though, fuck keeping that shit bottled up. You have every right to let that stuff out. This thread could be a place for airing such frustrations.
User 100115
Banned
So I have one last picture for picture week, though I believe my husband is going to murder me for it (even though it was perfectly safe, the guy was a professional, and the snake didn't have venom I was assured)
It's going to be one of those pictures she shows her friends years from now to prove how badass she is. My daughter, amazing.
It's going to be one of those pictures she shows her friends years from now to prove how badass she is. My daughter, amazing.
Just read it, so in your face.
1 out of 5... Eh.
Wooooooooooooo!
Hey, I'm on powerful medications here, man! Cut me some slack!
Sure I do. You do you, as far as coping is concerned. I don't judge and never will.
Just getting high ya'll, probably gonna force myself to play some Last of Us. Game is amazing, yet I haven't been compelled to play much at all. Only game that I find myself playing is PSO:1&2. Game is like crack.
heh heh
Definitely. I've passed on this sort of thing a few times, so she is braver than me by default! Snakes and spiders are a no go.
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