Cameron122
Member
Another weekend alone. Think I'm gonna mess around in the Unity Engine tonight.
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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
I didn't feel that you were snapping back at me at all. It's all good, no need to apologize.
That was great man. Loved it.Yeah, I'll put it up when it's finished. It's not easy listening, though. Be warned in advance.On the other hand, I shared this in mumble last night and it is pretty easy on the ears. My Theme and Variations, from 2001! It gets the Bagels seal of approval, so I've heard!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0I3CHwwDnM
Collete
Member
I feel ya!....=_=
Yeah, I'll put it up when it's finished. It's not easy listening, though. Be warned in advance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0I3CHwwDnM
*applauds*
Wonderful. Loved the expressions.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Re-watched Crimson Tide and Man on Fire and broke down after watching them. Tony Scott's suicide is still affecting me.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Every day every day every day every damn day.... FML.
Also why the fuck do all these people I know have Xanax prescriptions when they don't need them but people like me FUCKING need them!? Yeah, I know they're dangerous blah blah blah blah. It works and I need it not for recreational purposes like so many people I know that have a legit prescription for them do. People who are calm and because they have fucking high blood pressure, they get these meds? Seriously, the fuck!? I have high blood pressure and I have severe general and social anxiety and irritability. I needed this shit to deal with today and I'm not going to need to kill myself with guns, knives or ropes because I will do that just by blood pressure alone. What a fucking week! Everything.... sadness, anger, a lot of irritability, worry, fatigue, headaches.... I fucking can't take it. No fucking money. I LOST WEIGHT! I'm 6'2" and 170 lbs and I lost enough weight that my pants are literally falling down. Yes, that's funny but it's no joke because I eat like shit and either I don't have an appetite or proper food at home. I have no fucking money and am a piece of shit for being unemployed. It's my fault, I get it! I fucking hate life right now. Whine, whine, bitch, bitch.... I know. I have a constant "grin" stuck on my face, pulling my facial muscles because I'm frustrated and nearing an emotional/mental breakdown. I can't scream or hit anything where I live. FUCK ME I just want to self medicate right now. I just need a serious sedative, tranquilizer, anti-anxiety, benzo, something.... Fuck me, I hate myself. I'm worth shit!!!! I'm worth shit!!!!
Also why the fuck do all these people I know have Xanax prescriptions when they don't need them but people like me FUCKING need them!? Yeah, I know they're dangerous blah blah blah blah. It works and I need it not for recreational purposes like so many people I know that have a legit prescription for them do. People who are calm and because they have fucking high blood pressure, they get these meds? Seriously, the fuck!? I have high blood pressure and I have severe general and social anxiety and irritability. I needed this shit to deal with today and I'm not going to need to kill myself with guns, knives or ropes because I will do that just by blood pressure alone. What a fucking week! Everything.... sadness, anger, a lot of irritability, worry, fatigue, headaches.... I fucking can't take it. No fucking money. I LOST WEIGHT! I'm 6'2" and 170 lbs and I lost enough weight that my pants are literally falling down. Yes, that's funny but it's no joke because I eat like shit and either I don't have an appetite or proper food at home. I have no fucking money and am a piece of shit for being unemployed. It's my fault, I get it! I fucking hate life right now. Whine, whine, bitch, bitch.... I know. I have a constant "grin" stuck on my face, pulling my facial muscles because I'm frustrated and nearing an emotional/mental breakdown. I can't scream or hit anything where I live. FUCK ME I just want to self medicate right now. I just need a serious sedative, tranquilizer, anti-anxiety, benzo, something.... Fuck me, I hate myself. I'm worth shit!!!! I'm worth shit!!!!
Before I got sick, I was a pretty damned good musician. After I got sick, I remained a pretty damned good one too... but it greatly limited the amount of time I could play. I had to give up a pretty lucrative career. Felt like a knife being stabbed into my heart. We all struggle so hard to obtain our dreams that it can't be described what it's like to obtain one and have it taken away. After a few years, I tried a new treatment, felt well enough to work again and felt a true happiness. But the disease marched on and eventually, I had to retire, a second time. And it was worse than the first. I don't think I ever recovered from it.
My life is what it is now... but I always try to remain in touch with the person I was. I write music when I can, I play it when I can and I listen to it all the time. I refuse to let the musician in me die. If you have a dream, if you have something you love, hold on to it. If you must let it go, do not let go of who you are because despite what depression is telling you, you're pretty great.
Thank you to everyone who complimented my piece. I deeply appreciate it.
My life is what it is now... but I always try to remain in touch with the person I was. I write music when I can, I play it when I can and I listen to it all the time. I refuse to let the musician in me die. If you have a dream, if you have something you love, hold on to it. If you must let it go, do not let go of who you are because despite what depression is telling you, you're pretty great.
Thank you to everyone who complimented my piece. I deeply appreciate it.
Welp, I don't know where to start, so I'd like to apologize if the following comes off as an incoherent mess of expressions in the form of words. I wish to preface and inform you that this is probably one of the last pleas for help I will ask of another, as I feel I am on wits end and quite frankly I want to put a bullet through my skull.
I'll start by explaining the situation; for the last two years, I have been depressed, and I have had clear cut reasons. I was majoring in Computer Information Systems and as I getting to the end of that degree, and then it hit me that I hated all of it. All of it was fucking hamster wheel work for the sake of money, and I knew then and there that I had an incredibly empty feeling to that. Money has no actual worth, for it is a symbol of power, so living my life entirely for it seems like an empty thing to do, despite it being the central game we make in society. I would end up cutting classes and not really giving a shit about the work, despite being able to do it all. However, around that point I got a clearer direction of what drives me; the other. For there to be a me, an I, there must be an other, a they, to contrast myself. It was upon realizing this, and realizing the things I have done in the past selflessly that I had what I wanted right under my own fucking nose. With figuring that out, I had my new direction.
Despite having such a direction, of course, things are still not easy. Last year, I transferred out of that college into a new one, hoping to take advantage of what they had on offer to get out and do what I wanted. However, many personal matters arouse all too quickly; my dog of 14 years died, and to make matters worse, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, so almost all of my time outside of classes was dealing with one loss and managing another as it was going to become a loss. I ended up taking next to no advantage of that college outside of a personal counselor, as the academic one looked at me and my vague intentions like I was a fucking hydra, something from another world. This all transferred into the new year, when my mother in law finally died to her cancer, and only a month later, my grandmother died. Feeling frustrated by all of this, and knowing my parents intentions of moving to Pennsylvania (at this time I was in New York) that I considered going with them. My father wanted me to go, and as he has done a lot to care for me, I feel indebted to him, so I felt I owed it to him.
I moved to Pennsylvania this past April, and I wanted to try to come up with a game plan. It's sort of in the middle of fucking nowhere, but I was banking on university and majoring in Social Work. A game plan was even listed with the university, so I would actually have the degree in a years time. The keyword here is was: I learned only a few days ago that despite having a residency only in this state, I am apparently a non-resident, and as such I will be charged as such. Instead of six courses that total between $3,000-$4,000, which despite being hilariously expensive was still "manageable" I am now being charged around $9,000-$10,000, and my family does not have that money. As such, I am truly in a position where all of my plans have burned in my face, especially because I wished to use the connections this university had to really try and find something for me. The truth is even doing something like this doesn't make me happy, for I feel the only tangible period of time we have to act is only in the now, and all I've been doing is building up something for a future that doesn't exist. It's only having this fail in front of me that I see all of my efforts are for later in the road, and later may never, ever come. There is only now, and for now, I wish to do what I desire.
So, I come here, almost as if this is my final plea, to find help in accomplishing this. I ask here because I have in fact tried to get things in the very short term to do this, but those too have fallen. Being denied hospice care and helping organizations for really frugal reasons has really killed my desire of doing this myself, as I am greeted with the most infuriating, almost unfathomably ignorant claims as to why I'm being denied in the first place. I ask if anyone thinks they can help me, please get into contact with me. And I don't mean help as in listen, I get enough people who can clearly get who I am, but my problems are literally left out of their grasp to even THINK of trying to find some solution. I quite frankly don't want to live anymore. I have long abandoned desires for fame, fortune, my own happiness, a family, the whole shebang, in the idea of living a life of altruism, of true, genuine selflessness. I have only been kicked in the teeth any and every time I wish to do this. If I am left unable to do this, I am truly, honestly left without the one thing that keeps me breathing. It is that important to me, as anything else isn't even close to the true value of helping another in suffering, no matter what you dare try to paint it up as. I would eagerly take a coffin over a 9-to-5 do whatever for money affair, so those channels are absolutely out of the picture for my life. To be left without the means to help another kills the means for which I wish to live. It truly is a now or never affair for my desires.
I'll start by explaining the situation; for the last two years, I have been depressed, and I have had clear cut reasons. I was majoring in Computer Information Systems and as I getting to the end of that degree, and then it hit me that I hated all of it. All of it was fucking hamster wheel work for the sake of money, and I knew then and there that I had an incredibly empty feeling to that. Money has no actual worth, for it is a symbol of power, so living my life entirely for it seems like an empty thing to do, despite it being the central game we make in society. I would end up cutting classes and not really giving a shit about the work, despite being able to do it all. However, around that point I got a clearer direction of what drives me; the other. For there to be a me, an I, there must be an other, a they, to contrast myself. It was upon realizing this, and realizing the things I have done in the past selflessly that I had what I wanted right under my own fucking nose. With figuring that out, I had my new direction.
Despite having such a direction, of course, things are still not easy. Last year, I transferred out of that college into a new one, hoping to take advantage of what they had on offer to get out and do what I wanted. However, many personal matters arouse all too quickly; my dog of 14 years died, and to make matters worse, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, so almost all of my time outside of classes was dealing with one loss and managing another as it was going to become a loss. I ended up taking next to no advantage of that college outside of a personal counselor, as the academic one looked at me and my vague intentions like I was a fucking hydra, something from another world. This all transferred into the new year, when my mother in law finally died to her cancer, and only a month later, my grandmother died. Feeling frustrated by all of this, and knowing my parents intentions of moving to Pennsylvania (at this time I was in New York) that I considered going with them. My father wanted me to go, and as he has done a lot to care for me, I feel indebted to him, so I felt I owed it to him.
I moved to Pennsylvania this past April, and I wanted to try to come up with a game plan. It's sort of in the middle of fucking nowhere, but I was banking on university and majoring in Social Work. A game plan was even listed with the university, so I would actually have the degree in a years time. The keyword here is was: I learned only a few days ago that despite having a residency only in this state, I am apparently a non-resident, and as such I will be charged as such. Instead of six courses that total between $3,000-$4,000, which despite being hilariously expensive was still "manageable" I am now being charged around $9,000-$10,000, and my family does not have that money. As such, I am truly in a position where all of my plans have burned in my face, especially because I wished to use the connections this university had to really try and find something for me. The truth is even doing something like this doesn't make me happy, for I feel the only tangible period of time we have to act is only in the now, and all I've been doing is building up something for a future that doesn't exist. It's only having this fail in front of me that I see all of my efforts are for later in the road, and later may never, ever come. There is only now, and for now, I wish to do what I desire.
So, I come here, almost as if this is my final plea, to find help in accomplishing this. I ask here because I have in fact tried to get things in the very short term to do this, but those too have fallen. Being denied hospice care and helping organizations for really frugal reasons has really killed my desire of doing this myself, as I am greeted with the most infuriating, almost unfathomably ignorant claims as to why I'm being denied in the first place. I ask if anyone thinks they can help me, please get into contact with me. And I don't mean help as in listen, I get enough people who can clearly get who I am, but my problems are literally left out of their grasp to even THINK of trying to find some solution. I quite frankly don't want to live anymore. I have long abandoned desires for fame, fortune, my own happiness, a family, the whole shebang, in the idea of living a life of altruism, of true, genuine selflessness. I have only been kicked in the teeth any and every time I wish to do this. If I am left unable to do this, I am truly, honestly left without the one thing that keeps me breathing. It is that important to me, as anything else isn't even close to the true value of helping another in suffering, no matter what you dare try to paint it up as. I would eagerly take a coffin over a 9-to-5 do whatever for money affair, so those channels are absolutely out of the picture for my life. To be left without the means to help another kills the means for which I wish to live. It truly is a now or never affair for my desires.
I'm not sure if it's stress related entirely but I'm sure there's a connection. In my late public school/highschool years, I'd often wake up early to hack up bile. I hadn't had a family doctor since I was 5 then so I just didn't see someone about it or tell anyone. Didn't think too much on it.
When I had a severe flare-up with my issues though, I had red nodules all over my shins and ankles. They got so big and collected around my ankles (lymphatic system related) that I could barely walk and it was a burning pain whenever I put any pressure on my double-sized swollen ankles. I also had inflammation in one of my eyes during flare-up periods and psoriasis/pitting on my nails too. Something I've never had.
I used to internalize anxiety so much growing up that I'm surprised I didn't have more signs of problems aside from vomiting bile. I've shown many signs of Crohn's disease and IBD but they both take years to diagnose, and I've only had one colonoscopy and tissue sample taken since it started.
End of my whining. I wish I knew more of what it was related to, as it's said Crohn's and IBD aren't so much stress related, as a condition that happens regardless of stress level. It is recognised by the medical community that the GI tract is closely linked with stress and mental illness though. '_'
User 100115
Banned
I have run into the same problem recently, and yeah, it sucks. I was going to try and study to be a nurse, but I simply couldn't afford it. I really, really like helping people, and thought perhaps that would be the best job for me, but it all blew up in my face because of lack of money.
You can still help people. Little things go a long way. And just because you can't do it NOW doesn't mean you can't do it in a year or so.
brianjones
Member
anyone have any experience with Wellbutrin ?
I'm trying to replace celexa with it and am always a little nervous with new meds
I'm trying to replace celexa with it and am always a little nervous with new meds
Who says I will live in a year or so? Tomorrow is never promised, so putting things at such a distance is something akin to faith, to hope it will be. I have done this many times, and I have learned through all of it that such actions only create accepting inaction in the present moment. Being unbearable with my situation now does not mean it will be better in a year, for that is only a concept, a hypothetical, a guess, a hope, for what I have now is all I have now. I feel absolutely paralyzed with where I am now.
User 100115
Banned
So do I. I am absolutely stuck where I am at. I have to wait. It sucks, but life is about disappointment and learning from it. If I gave up every time things didn't go my way, I'd have given up a long, long time ago. You want to help people right? Well, if you give up you will help no one. And you will be doing wrong to all the people you would have eventually helped if you'd stuck with it. People that genuinely want to give themselves to others are incredibly rare in this world. We can't afford to lose you
So do I. I am absolutely stuck where I am at. I have to wait. It sucks, but life is about disappointment and learning from it. If I gave up every time things didn't go my way, I'd have given up a long, long time ago. You want to help people right? Well, if you give up you will help no one. And you will be doing wrong to all the people you would have eventually helped if you'd stuck with it. People that genuinely want to give themselves to others are incredibly rare in this world. We can't afford to lose you
I am not sure how much of that is truthful. Many people often berate me and put me down for where I am, for I have given up much of the norms many others do, or value. What I am left with is nothing, and for someone my age, I feel having nothing at all is a sign of failure, of wasted time, of an absolutely wasted life. There is nothing precious about waste.
Who gives a shit what other people think? What they say is a reflection on them and where they're at, not you. As long as you're capable of giving yourself to others, your life has meaning.
This really was not my week. I've been reading Mobile Suit Gundam: Awakening, Escalation, Confrontation, which is the novelization of the original Gundam TV series. Guess what? It's missing a page. I didn't buy the book used or anything; it came "new" from Chapters Indigo (though it did look pretty beat up when I got it back in March). Seriously. I can't even read without getting screwed over anymore. Look at this fuckery.
FML. I ordered the book on March 31st and just got around to reading it, so I doubt Chapters will do anything since it's been so long. Can I just not have a day without frustration for once?
FML. I ordered the book on March 31st and just got around to reading it, so I doubt Chapters will do anything since it's been so long. Can I just not have a day without frustration for once?
Collete
Member
I just want it to end...Nothing's stopping me these days...
Edit: also if anyone's interested:
Game developer with depression and OCD released a game but sales weren't good...Bought the game myself on steam...It's on sale for next 18 hours or so.
Edit: also if anyone's interested:
Game developer with depression and OCD released a game but sales weren't good...Bought the game myself on steam...It's on sale for next 18 hours or so.
Wow, really cool! I was just chatting with Oomi about how much I like seeing people's drawings/paintings/photos show up in the thread. I know a lot of people look forward to seeing new stuff, and get inspired to be creative - I certainly feel that way.
Ha ha! Windam and I were just talking about doing a game night (probably not Maple Story - sorry
This would be awesome. Most of my ideas are F2P games on Steam, but whatever works.
Would you be so kind as to add me to the contact list in the OP? I'd like to try lending a hand.
Lionheart1827
Member
I really hate Sundays. The day before work week depression sucks, and it sucks a lot more after a week off.
Can't sleep, thoughts are too occupied. I lie in the dark and whenever I close my damn eyes I think of bad thoughts and end up feeling claustrophobic that I have to sit up and take a breath. Stuff like my cancer treatment, or my failed relationship and how much I loved her, or how I don't have much of a social life other than(and because of) my long work days. I feel way too tied to memories, good or bad, that it upsets the shit out of me. If I think of anything good that happened in the past couple of years, I always think of her being there with me. I'm plagued by dreams constantly where she comes back only to be woken up by the cold reality of where I am, or dream about being back in the hospital, getting chemo again only in my dream there is nobody there to comfort me.
Sometimes I hate that I'm so loyal to the girls I fall for. Maybe I'm just too naive about it, I don't know, but I gave as much as I could and I guess its just not enough for some people. I wish there was an easier way out if this anguish.
I need another week off, fuck work.
Edit: btw, thanks to all of DepGAF in the chat and mumble for helping me get my mind occupied throughout the week. I already miss it.
Can't sleep, thoughts are too occupied. I lie in the dark and whenever I close my damn eyes I think of bad thoughts and end up feeling claustrophobic that I have to sit up and take a breath. Stuff like my cancer treatment, or my failed relationship and how much I loved her, or how I don't have much of a social life other than(and because of) my long work days. I feel way too tied to memories, good or bad, that it upsets the shit out of me. If I think of anything good that happened in the past couple of years, I always think of her being there with me. I'm plagued by dreams constantly where she comes back only to be woken up by the cold reality of where I am, or dream about being back in the hospital, getting chemo again only in my dream there is nobody there to comfort me.
Sometimes I hate that I'm so loyal to the girls I fall for. Maybe I'm just too naive about it, I don't know, but I gave as much as I could and I guess its just not enough for some people. I wish there was an easier way out if this anguish.
I need another week off, fuck work.
Edit: btw, thanks to all of DepGAF in the chat and mumble for helping me get my mind occupied throughout the week. I already miss it.
Oomi, if you feel like it feel free to PM me, or talk to me on Steam tonight.
And Retro/Grade is a great game. Bought it during the sale and played the first 4 or 5 stages at the lowest difficulty. Awesome music, and really cool concept that's nicely executed. If you like shoot 'em ups or rhythm/music games, get this. If you don't but you like good, fun games, get this. If you don't but have the money to spare, get this.
Eternal Gamer
Member
I have been depressed for many months, and it is affecting my studies, I am doing a postdegree in another country far away from home and family, I had friends but they are no longer at the university so I feel very lonely and without anybody to help, I feel like I don't have any more energies, today I have an important exam but I just could not study, I spent days trying, but I was just sitting in front of my handouts, unable to read, the worst is that I have a feeling of indiference, this exam is so important but I am like just I don't care, a couple of years ago I was very proactive and I was worried about performing well, but now I can not put myself together even for reading.
I am in treatment with a doctor, but I feel the pills don't help me anymore, I take paroxetin and elontril without fault everyday, however I keep feeling very low.
I just wanted to vent it.
I am in treatment with a doctor, but I feel the pills don't help me anymore, I take paroxetin and elontril without fault everyday, however I keep feeling very low.
I just wanted to vent it.
Yeah, I'll put it up when it's finished. It's not easy listening, though. Be warned in advance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0I3CHwwDnM
This was great.
How did it go? Were you able to speak with anyone or just left a message? I've called at "bad times" around the staff's lunch hour and had to call more than once to get right through to someone to set up a free consultation appointment.
Collete
Member
No one one was there, so left a message. Which wasn't easy at all.
For sure! You still reached out and made contact. They probably have certain times of day set aside to check and respond to messages. Since you left one on a Monday, hopefully you'll hear back from them before the end of the week. :3
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
If you actually have the patience, attention span, and discipline to work on a game that's pretty cool.
I love games but making them is the most tedious intricate shit! Although I'm starting to think I have a mid range case of ADD so maybe that's why I feel that way.
That is a great accomplishment! I know how hard it can be.
Why? What's wrong with STEM threads?
Collete
Member
I don't have anything against them...But it just reminds me how much I failed by not having a successful career based around them or have any interest in it at all.
No, you don't fail because of that! Don't let STEM snobs to put down your passion for art!
ExigentContact
Member
I hate these days where I feel nothing but a small fit of anxiety and a lot of misguided hope. It's a false contentment, that I can actually fix everything and make it better and be better. Maybe if the mood lasted instead of depression. That's the worst part. Knowing that in all this temporary hope, your demons are waiting to pull you back down.
Ugh. Guess I better enjoy the elevated mood while I can.
Ugh. Guess I better enjoy the elevated mood while I can.
It's still great that you made contact.
It's interesting how simple things like having a short nap can affect your previous mindset. Now don't get me wrong, I'm far from being happy. But anything other than "how many sleeping pills would it take to never wake up" is a decent improvement. I think anyone should have the right to die on their own terms. But if it is just a strong notion in the moment, you owe it to yourself to at the very least sleep on it and give your situation some serious evaluation. Because once you make that choice, you can never take it back.
I doubt anyone cares about my ramblings, but it felt important for me to say. If anyone else here feels afflicted by the same thoughts, as long as I'm still breathing, I will be here to listen.
I doubt anyone cares about my ramblings, but it felt important for me to say. If anyone else here feels afflicted by the same thoughts, as long as I'm still breathing, I will be here to listen.
When it comes to suicidal thoughts, I give myself the one week rule. If I still feel the same way in one week, I reevaluate. So far, I'm still here. And after all, if you're thinking of killing yourself, what's another week of life in the end? I'm glad you're feeling better, man.
ExigentContact
Member
Nah, dude, I saw what you were saying earlier and it resonated with me. It's just hard to pull anything positive from the ether of the mind when I'm thinking the same stuff, more or less. Also being new to the topic doesn't help, lol.
It's good that you're on better ground now, though. And for the most part, I agree about the right-to-death. It's a controversial area as far as mental health is concerned (and only slightly less so when it comes to terminal illness and the like), but I do believe in autonomy and respecting people's wishes. That said, the decision to end a life must always be weighed heavily, and in most cases the general consensus is that those suffering from mental illness are not in the right state of mind to make a rational/ethical choice on the matter. I'm not so sure in some cases, but in general I agree that most aren't.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Cried a bit today over my dog.
It is insane how much music does for me mentally.
Fucking seriously
I really wish I could give you guys a hug. Or just talk over things in a park or something.
Fucking seriously
I really wish I could give you guys a hug. Or just talk over things in a park or something.
Others make the world go round. Ignorance is so pervasive in our societies, so being picked at by average joe goes a long way to show I'm not part of the collective. But I guess it comes to who wants to fit in, eh?
By involvement, do you mean romantically or for the sake of conversation, I am so down for the second one.
Even simple conversations. If we talk for a few days and I enjoy the conversations, it sucks when I stop hearing from them and all.
Not to mention when I get up the courage to actually meet someone, the thing that happens most often is we meet once, I think the conversation goes well and all. Then I never hear from them again.
Well, you can always talk to me. PM me if you want to talk on Skype. I don't bite, and I always do my absolute best to talk to people, or at least inform them if something is amiss and I may not reply.
Thanks for the offer.
Bad memories and what I felt back then keep on rushing back. My anxiety is killing me right now.
I know exactly how you feel.
I know exactly how you feel.
Alright, I promised it so here it is. Over a month in the making, my piano piece on mental health (sorta). There's a good description of it in the link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08pohSA5wpA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08pohSA5wpA
So...Uh...Something weirdish happened just now.
While growing up my parents used to fight every now and again. Or, at least, that's what I saw. Sometimes it was just yelling / name calling, other times they ended up getting... Violent. There were a couple of nights I sincerely thought one of them was going to murder the other. It was mostly over work, of which they leave me and my siblings in the dark about so I don't know the details. I digress. They have said multiple times they would divorce in the midst of a heated fight, but the next day they'd apologize to me and said they still love each other.
Tonight they very sat us down and calmly said they're getting a divorce. This is out of the blue really, it's been a few months since the last ourburst(although that one was honestly the worst, jesus fuck). But they said they love each other and were joking around, and that they'd still be good friends. My Mom is taking my sister with her and moving fairly closeby, but she plans to visit often.
I... Uh... Has anyone else had parents seperate like this? I don't know what to make of it. It's... Odd. I mean, I guess I'm not too upset because all the previous fights sort of prepared me for this, and it might be for the best. I'm gonna miss having my sister around. Really miss her. Really really.. Ah fuck I can feel the waterworks. Enough of that!
I dunno. I just wanted to share that and get it off my brain. On the bright side, since there are no ladies in the house, I suppose I can pee with the door open.
I'm rather dumb and don't know much about classical(except for Chopin and Erik Satie cause those guys fuckin rule), but this was a beautiful piece. Fantastic writeup in the description. Great work
Feel free to PM me too.
I have been on a bandcamp kick thanks to the indie music thread. Music rules y'all. Hugs do too!
*Hugs*
While growing up my parents used to fight every now and again. Or, at least, that's what I saw. Sometimes it was just yelling / name calling, other times they ended up getting... Violent. There were a couple of nights I sincerely thought one of them was going to murder the other. It was mostly over work, of which they leave me and my siblings in the dark about so I don't know the details. I digress. They have said multiple times they would divorce in the midst of a heated fight, but the next day they'd apologize to me and said they still love each other.
Tonight they very sat us down and calmly said they're getting a divorce. This is out of the blue really, it's been a few months since the last ourburst(although that one was honestly the worst, jesus fuck). But they said they love each other and were joking around, and that they'd still be good friends. My Mom is taking my sister with her and moving fairly closeby, but she plans to visit often.
I... Uh... Has anyone else had parents seperate like this? I don't know what to make of it. It's... Odd. I mean, I guess I'm not too upset because all the previous fights sort of prepared me for this, and it might be for the best. I'm gonna miss having my sister around. Really miss her. Really really.. Ah fuck I can feel the waterworks. Enough of that!
I dunno. I just wanted to share that and get it off my brain. On the bright side, since there are no ladies in the house, I suppose I can pee with the door open.
I'm rather dumb and don't know much about classical(except for Chopin and Erik Satie cause those guys fuckin rule), but this was a beautiful piece. Fantastic writeup in the description. Great work
Feel free to PM me too.
I have been on a bandcamp kick thanks to the indie music thread. Music rules y'all. Hugs do too!
*Hugs*- Status
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