VItamin B complex perhaps. Helped offset the lethargy with Citalopram for a while but eventually it barely did a thing.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I used to take Vitamin B Complex daily as it was supposed to help for stress, anxiety, depression, etc. Took it for over a month. Didn't help and I still slept bad and lethargic as usual. I've even tried Valerian Root, which was a complete bust. Melatonin maybe worked here and there, but not much help either.
Breaking Bad premiere tonight put me in such a good mood. Nothing like some great writing and television to lift the spirits. If I can one day write something half as entertaining and thought provoking as this show, I can die happy.
Same here. It can be stressful because everyone wants to feel wanted, and having almost no one take any kind of romantic interest in you sucks. It's like, "Damn, I'm not a cave troll am I?" lol
But then, dating as an entire....thing escapes me. I didn't date at all in high school - pretty much rejected the only two girls to ever take any interest in me because of fear/selfishness/some other stuff - so now I feel entirely behind the curve. I know I don't want to be alone forever, but I have no idea how not to be and I really can't figure out what would make any woman find me attractive.
Wait, so I do know you?
But yeah, that's me. If I go into the gay district here, I will almost certainly get hit on but not one chance at a straight singles club or bar. I'll have girl friends hug me and whatnot, but no way their interested in anything close to regarding dating or a relationship with me.
Same here. It can be stressful because everyone wants to feel wanted, and having almost no one take any kind of romantic interest in you sucks. It's like, "Damn, I'm not a cave troll am I?" lol
But then, dating as an entire....thing escapes me. I didn't date at all in high school - pretty much rejected the only two girls to ever take any interest in me because of fear/selfishness/some other stuff - so now I feel entirely behind the curve. I know I don't want to be alone forever, but I have no idea how not to be and I really can't figure out what would make any woman find me attractive.
Went downtown for a walk today. The Yonge-University-Spadina subway line was closed, so I had to shuttle bus the last quarter of my journey to the Eaton Centre. Got there 5 minutes before it closed. Whoops! Forgot it was Sunday. Shit. After that I just walked around going into/looking around at the different stores in the area. Did that for a few hours [my legs are killing, feels like I pulled something... (by just walking? :/)]. On my way home I felt the urge to just jump in front of a train and end it all there, but there were too many people around. At least that's what I told myself. Coming out of the dark tunnel to my penultimate stop, I saw the light and had a minor anxiety attack for who knows what reason. Feeling like shit right now.
Wait, you're in Toronto? Come to the Fan Expo meet-up! (Once we figure out the day/place)
It'll give you something to look forward to, and if you're po like you said you were, I'll buy you a drink and I'm sure you can steal appetizers from someone!
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Those don't work because those aren't medicine.
Is there any chance you have a rift/someone there will have a rift? I wanna try an oculus rift.(And windam really want to too).
Wow Samiam didn't expect to see that here. Very cool.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Yeah, they're supplements. I tried them for what they claim will help but I'm not one bit surprised they don't work, well, for me at least. Some people swear on Valerian as an alternative to benzos, although. The fact is, most people just aren't going to feel anything from the more natural supplements that promise similar results. Sometimes when you're desperate, you'll try anything.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Nice pics. I'll take some tomorrow.
Also, The Dead Texan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RfNPSjITCA
Also, The Dead Texan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RfNPSjITCA
"Po"? I-I'm not poor! I'm... middle-class! D: My mom is just out of a job since the company she worked for went under and she had to get surgery shortly after, so money's kinda tight with only my dad working. Also, I'm 18. Not old enough for drinks! Also, my meds have bad reactions with alcohol (I'm not sure how strong the alcohol needs to be to put me in front of a toilet for a few hours as I pass back-and-forth between being conscious and unconscious, nor am I sure how much of it I need for that to happen).
EDIT: Stan Lee, Gina Torres, Vic Mignogna, Veronica Taylor and Brad Swaile are gonna be there? I just might have to check this out.
The bold is a lie.
A bit of an update on my situation.
I went to Austin. The Dota 2 pubstomp was fun, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
I feel like that trip got me nowhere in finding for jobs. Everywhere I went I always encountered one of three things:
1. I walk in, talk to the secretary at the front desk, she gives me the website to apply online and says she will pass on my resume to a recruiter. (This only happened at one place and was the highest amount of success I had the whole trip)
2. Security is so tight you can't get in, and they want you to apply online anyway. I tried calling ahead to see if I could come in in person, but they said they only accept applications online. This happened at 90% of the places I went or wanted to go.
3. I can't fucking find it because the internet is wrong about where it is. This happened a couple of times.
So basically I have moved nowhere, and I feel absolutely worthless. I applied for some of the places I went online. I applied for two positions at the place I mentioned in #1, and one of them rejected me with some seemingly automatically generated email saying they were "Looking at applicants that were more qualified than me." Great, so I am really not good enough.
I'm going to the family doctor tomorrow. I'm nervous about that too.
I went to Austin. The Dota 2 pubstomp was fun, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
I feel like that trip got me nowhere in finding for jobs. Everywhere I went I always encountered one of three things:
1. I walk in, talk to the secretary at the front desk, she gives me the website to apply online and says she will pass on my resume to a recruiter. (This only happened at one place and was the highest amount of success I had the whole trip)
2. Security is so tight you can't get in, and they want you to apply online anyway. I tried calling ahead to see if I could come in in person, but they said they only accept applications online. This happened at 90% of the places I went or wanted to go.
3. I can't fucking find it because the internet is wrong about where it is. This happened a couple of times.
So basically I have moved nowhere, and I feel absolutely worthless. I applied for some of the places I went online. I applied for two positions at the place I mentioned in #1, and one of them rejected me with some seemingly automatically generated email saying they were "Looking at applicants that were more qualified than me." Great, so I am really not good enough.
I'm going to the family doctor tomorrow. I'm nervous about that too.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Modern job hunting: keyword spam and hopefully the algorithm picks you up.
Shit sucks.
Shit sucks.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI-BhQGwDO8
Also, An American On Purpose is very good. The kinda good only someone with our kind of experiences can speak of.
Also,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyctIk4YwZk
Also, An American On Purpose is very good. The kinda good only someone with our kind of experiences can speak of.
Also,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyctIk4YwZk
"Po"? I-I'm not poor! I'm... middle-class! D: My mom is just out of a job since the company she worked for went under and she had to get surgery shortly after, so money's kinda tight with only my dad working. Also, I'm 18. Not old enough for drinks! Also, my meds have bad reactions with alcohol (I'm not sure how strong the alcohol needs to be to put me in front of a toilet for a few hours as I pass back-and-forth between being conscious and unconscious, nor am I sure how much of it I need for that to happen).
EDIT: Stan Lee, Gina Torres, Vic Mignogna, Veronica Taylor and Brad Swaile are gonna be there? I just might have to check this out.
The bold is a lie.
Fine, I'll buy you a Shirley Temple or a Pepsi, lol, just come =p
You don't sound worthless to me. I think it's great you got yourself motivated enough to actually go to these places physically and try and make some sort of personal impression. I guess that is dying out with over reliance on the online systems. It is a shitty market, especially with everything going private and cutting the amount of jobs with it, creating higher average applicants per job. But if the determination you showed is anything to go by, I'm sure you will land one eventually.
DJ Lushious
Member
I shouldn't have, but I emailed my ex. There were a few job openings that made me think of her. I opened up the email with "I know you're not talking to me..." and then went into business.
I care so much about her and I wish things had worked out between us. I was so madly in love with her, but she just wasn't in the relationship. She acted like she was single with her plans. I wasn't considered for those plans, nor were my feelings. I'd find out about those plans only when I wanted to plan something with her.
I just felt so unwanted in the relationship, too. Time spent together usually involved her family that she lived with and rarely would be alone the two of us. And getting her to come over to my home, which I live in by myself, was hard.
Emotional and physical intimacy was rare. By the time I broke up with her she hadn't spent the night in three weeks. And before that, spending the night was a once every two weeks affair. When we had talks about deep emotional feelings and/or basis for actions she would give me surface-level cryptic responses.
And yet she was my best friend, but maybe not the other way around.
I really shouldn't have emailed her...
I care so much about her and I wish things had worked out between us. I was so madly in love with her, but she just wasn't in the relationship. She acted like she was single with her plans. I wasn't considered for those plans, nor were my feelings. I'd find out about those plans only when I wanted to plan something with her.
I just felt so unwanted in the relationship, too. Time spent together usually involved her family that she lived with and rarely would be alone the two of us. And getting her to come over to my home, which I live in by myself, was hard.
Emotional and physical intimacy was rare. By the time I broke up with her she hadn't spent the night in three weeks. And before that, spending the night was a once every two weeks affair. When we had talks about deep emotional feelings and/or basis for actions she would give me surface-level cryptic responses.
And yet she was my best friend, but maybe not the other way around.
I really shouldn't have emailed her...
depths20XX
Member
Yeah probably not the best idea. Gotta totally cut off communication and move on. Were you guys together for a long time?
DJ Lushious
Member
6 months and have been broken up for 2. I was very attached. Not just to her, but her mom, her dad, her niece, her sister, and her aunt.
I pulled the plug on the relationship and I regret it. By the end, I just got tired of the lack of communication, her always making plans without me, and I really needed a ride to the airport in a few weeks and she gave me a wishy-washy answer, which was always another way of her saying "no."
And I can't move on. I care about her so much. She has health issues which she'll eventually die from and I don't want her out of my life.
I wasn't ready to breakup with her, but it was just so many rejections in a row. She just wasn't in the relationship, though. I was very impatient, though, and didn't have a lot to take up my free time to keep me occupied.
And as I began to think she was pulling away, I, of course, became clingy. Though I hear conflicting reports on how clingy one should be after 6 months. I mean, I expected our relationship to have grown by then, when it seemed like we were regressing.
And mind you, we are both very much adults, 31 and 31. It just seemed like it wasn't an adult relationship at times and it drove me to further frustration.
Edit - And I also need to stress we work together. I don't see her very often, but I have seen her a few times already. She's in the same department as me.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
My day is starting off great! /sarcasm
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I am eating a breakfast sandwich, so mine is off to a good start.
It's the little things. Also, the little things that might set you off into a depression or anxiety spiral. Like reading rape/murder threads in the OT.
I am confuzzled.
It's the little things. Also, the little things that might set you off into a depression or anxiety spiral. Like reading rape/murder threads in the OT.
I am confuzzled.
Your breakfast sandwich will always be inferior without potato scone and square sausage. And I always keep visits to the OT very brief. It is for the best.
You smoother that thing in ketchup. Bagels would want it that way. Links and bacon would be a fine choice.
I've never heard of a potato scone before, but I'm dying to know how they taste now.
I figure I would try a silly attempt at trying to cheer up and motivate some people here with a quote from Alan Watts. I personally find Watts to be one of the best speakers of the last 100 years, and he is one of the very few to have a crystal clear, rational perspective on so much in our world, from money, to theology, to the universe itself.
The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.
What I infer from that is to just be happy with what you already are. You don't have to accomplish X or Y thing society tells you to do. Just be alive and live! It's almost too simple, isn't it?
The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.
What I infer from that is to just be happy with what you already are. You don't have to accomplish X or Y thing society tells you to do. Just be alive and live! It's almost too simple, isn't it?
This symptom makes perfect sense, judging by how helpful and nice people in the chat and this thread in general are.
DJ Lushious
Member
For those that seek counseling, how do you deal with only seeing your person once a week?
I never feel like I have enough time or enough progress is made. My mind keeps spinning on the same stuff and I am still far too depressed.
I never feel like I have enough time or enough progress is made. My mind keeps spinning on the same stuff and I am still far too depressed.
The IRC. Basically my secondary place after the doc to get vent/talk about problems.
It's a difficult one to explain. Similar texture of a pancake, but slightly thicker. Tastes great fried with butter.
I actually quite liked that one. I've always thought in the back of my mind that I should be doing things better, and felt like I was failing at life by not overly achieving at anything I've done. I've been thinking lately that as long I'm making a positive difference for other people, then that is enough for me right now. I'm not going to progress any further if I keep beating myself up about things, and putting too much pressure on myself. Things will progress with patience and time.
I extend those thoughts to you too oomi, to be kinder to yourself. These events you seek will most likely only occur by the actions you take. But there isn't a rush for that. Any urgency for these things is all in your head, that's how it is for me at least. Focus on one thing at a time to get to where you want to be. Just takes small steps and patience.
It's natural to be nervous. Zoloft has a very good reputation, though. In particular, the side effect profile is very mild. For what it's worth, when Consumer Reports asked its readers about antidepressants (which is weird, but ok), Zoloft was the top choice. It ain't science, but it's perhaps a bit more comforting than science, somehow.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
Pretty sure my absolutely shite diet (or lack of a diet, rather) is what's causing my lack of energy. I'm tired 24/7. I sleep for 10-13 hours now, whereas anything above 7 seemed terrible to me before. I feel like I'm losing a lot of time to be doing... well, nothing of super importance. I'd like to go back to sleeping at 3am and getting up at 9am instead of 2pm. I'd like to, but I feel unmotivated to change anything. My diet is gonna continue to be crap since Prozac suppresses my appetite so that I barely eat, and I will continue to be tired and sluggish all the time.
The doctor said it had a good success rate too, so that's good as well.
I found a cure for this, aside from diet. I find that I sleep better and feel less tired if I exercise. Nothing strenuous. Just a brisk 20 min walk will do the trick. Maybe give it a try.
I also keep my house free of unhealthy snacks. I have stuff like easy-peel mandarins, raw almonds, gherkins and cheese, rice crackers, tomatoes, and cottage cheese instead. Even if you are snacking only you are then getting some decent nutrients.
My walk downtown yesterday absolutely murdered my legs somehow. I was only out for around 3 and a half hours, (and a lot of that time was spent sitting down in the train/bus), but my legs just started killing. Guess I should try lifting my weights again, because I've lost the muscle tone I used to have and now my arms just look like sticks again. Bleh.
Random tangent but here's my latest piece, Prelude for a Straitjacket! It's very short, very concise and perhaps ever-so-slightly unpredictable. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeS7WLaJaC8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeS7WLaJaC8
I just had sex for the first time and couldn't orgasm. I basically limped home with blue balls. So goddamn frustrated right now. Is there an SSRI with lessened sexual side effects? I've heard Welbutrin is good but I don't think I can afford it. I'm on cheap ass Celexa right now.
Wellbutrin is the only truly "safe" one, so I hear. The others may or may not cause sexual side effects but the odds are good it'll happen.
I just looked on Costco's website and they have something called Bupropion as a generic alternative. I'll have to ask my doctor about during my next appointment.
That the generic version - bupropion is both Wellbutrin and Zyban. The lack of sexual side effects and the ability to counter sexual side effects from SSRIs are the bupropion claims to fame. Definitely ask your doc.
CornBurrito
Member
I'm dreading a return to school. I fucking hate the college I go to. Absolutely hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it. t would be foolish and a waste of money to transfer this late, and transferring now won't do anything to stop me from hating myself for giving into my parents and going where they wanted me to go rather than where I wanted to go. It is a real downer, and only worsens this feeling of dread I get when I look into future job prospects my worthless biology degree holds. Had I any talent I'd be pre-med, though the thought of human diseases already makes me physically ill so even if I had the talent or drive, I still couldn't have a successful career in medicine.
I've become very apathetic lately. I'm not exactly sure why, but I really can't even be bothered to do simple shit like take out the trash. I've been really tired lately. I've probably slept 16 out of the last 24 hours. The only thing I do that takes any amount of effort is go to work. That's pretty much my life right now. Work for 5 days, and then waste away doing nothing for 2. At this point I'm just going through the motions.
Between working about 20 hours on the weekends and just barely keeping my head above water financially, my social life is almost non-existent. I used to be pretty extroverted, but now I feel like I'm becoming more introverted.
I still have a good amount of college left because I was a dumbass and took a few years off. I'll be 26 in 5 days and I really feel like I'm falling behind, more than anything. I'm not excited in the least. I just get one year older and I have no career in sight. As far as my current job goes, I'm well liked and have been promoted twice in the last 5 months, but it's just another retail job. I have no plans to make a career out of it.
I'm taking this semester off because of medical reasons. I may need surgery soon and felt that would've affected my classes. I'll be going to the doctor soon to get everything straightened out. I really feel like my life is completely stagnant until I get the medical issues cleared up. I was working out and feeling great, but was forced to stop. Until I get this shit fixed, pretty much all I can do is walk for exercise...which I find extremely boring. I can't find my health insurance card. After putting it off for 2 weeks, I finally called to have them send me a new one...so that's a start I guess.
I just feel like laying in bed and listening to music with my eyes closed. For some strange reason, I've listened to the same song on repeat for the last 2 hours.
A decade ago I had a bout of depression, ended up seeing a professional and taking medication. That lasted for about a year. I chalked it up to being a stupid teenager.
I'm really not sure what I intend to accomplish by posting this. I guess I really just felt like putting my thoughts on paper, so to speak.
Between working about 20 hours on the weekends and just barely keeping my head above water financially, my social life is almost non-existent. I used to be pretty extroverted, but now I feel like I'm becoming more introverted.
I still have a good amount of college left because I was a dumbass and took a few years off. I'll be 26 in 5 days and I really feel like I'm falling behind, more than anything. I'm not excited in the least. I just get one year older and I have no career in sight. As far as my current job goes, I'm well liked and have been promoted twice in the last 5 months, but it's just another retail job. I have no plans to make a career out of it.
I'm taking this semester off because of medical reasons. I may need surgery soon and felt that would've affected my classes. I'll be going to the doctor soon to get everything straightened out. I really feel like my life is completely stagnant until I get the medical issues cleared up. I was working out and feeling great, but was forced to stop. Until I get this shit fixed, pretty much all I can do is walk for exercise...which I find extremely boring. I can't find my health insurance card. After putting it off for 2 weeks, I finally called to have them send me a new one...so that's a start I guess.
I just feel like laying in bed and listening to music with my eyes closed. For some strange reason, I've listened to the same song on repeat for the last 2 hours.
A decade ago I had a bout of depression, ended up seeing a professional and taking medication. That lasted for about a year. I chalked it up to being a stupid teenager.
I'm really not sure what I intend to accomplish by posting this. I guess I really just felt like putting my thoughts on paper, so to speak.
So, I almost decided to go through with cutting myself, earlier. I know it's stupid, but at the same time, there's really no way that I could convince my parents to let me take meds or go through therapy, and staying up into the night and being reminded of the realities of my life has left me feeling so helpless and filled with dread that I'm becoming more willing to feel anything else besides the constant beatings that my mind gives me daily. I feel like, some days, it's become easier for my depression to win out.
DJ Lushious
Member
Next time you get that urge, call this number:
Self Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
I've called suicide hotlines and depression lines before. Sometimes it's good to have someone on the other end to talk to, even if it is a complete stranger.
I was in a similar position as you. Late graduation, worked retail for all of it (and before), and depression nearly kept me from finishing. Go see a counselor on campus, if your University has one. It's going to be hard, but you can make it. At least you are recognizing what is up. That is the first step to fixing.
Random tangent but here's my latest piece, Prelude for a Straitjacket! It's very short, very concise and perhaps ever-so-slightly unpredictable. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeS7WLaJaC8
That is some sweet carrot chomping, sir. Some sweet carrot chomping indeed.
Sorry to hear that. Don't feel bad about directly contacting someone, either through some IM service or a PM here on GAF. I know there's a lot of people here who'd be happy to help if you go through something similar again, and need someone to talk to. Myself included!
Apathy is such a tough thing to cure I find. I went through a rough patch fairly recently where I'd conveniently 'forget' to do chores and things I wasn't interested in doing. It sounds harsh, but forcing yourself to do one or two productive things each day is a place to start. You might not be able to exercise as much as you'd like because of your current circumstances, but it sounds like you know the benefits of it. Even taking a walk, no matter how boring, will make you feel better and more energised. Also, getting into a better sleeping/waking up routine will help, too, if you can manage it. Talk to your doctor about the possible surgery you mentioned, but also, what you're going through right now. As Lushious says, it's the first step.
When you say there's no way you can convince your parents to let you receive some kind of treatment, why is that? It's clear you need help and support right now. Don't forget there are always people you can talk to. Professionals or otherwise. Please keep going and don't let that depression win. Depression's a loser. He sucks.
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