So, turns out that I'm HIV+

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p_xavier

p_xavier

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Basically the last two years have been a fucking train wreck for me, I could show you pictures before and after and you wouldn't recognize me. Since I turned 30, I've been scared of death to no end, thinking that I don't have much time to live, so as geeky guy, I started trying many things, going clubbing and everything. So got about ten big tattoos, piercings, changed gangs and everything, changed my legal name and cut off all family ties. I have many days where I don't remember anything.

I was seeing a psychologist in the last couple of months, things were getting better for me mentally. I learned yesterday that my latest HIV results were positive. I just don't know what to think about it.

I'm really grateful of my coworkers though; I even had multiples promotions in that time, since my work was the only thing that could keep me focused.

I just needed a big hug that whole time I guess. But now, it feels like I'm still lost and don't know what to do.
 
Oh wow, i'm sorry to hear that man. HIV obviously isn't a death sentence anymore though, you can pretty much live the rest of your life with the right medication.

Do you mind sharing how you contracted it?
 
HIV isn't the death sentence it once was. With treatment people still live long lives. Like with any disease it requires some adjustment of your lifestyle but don't let it get you down for long. If it continues to weigh heavy on you there are support groups you can join because you aren't the only person who is coping with HIV on top of life's other concerns.
 
HIV is very manageable, it will require a lifestyle change though. Drugs have really come a long way since the 1990s. Sucks nonetheless though, my condolences man.
 
Anticitizen One said:
What do you mean by "changed gangs"? Also if you don't mind me asking how did you contract HIV?
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Basically I was named the geekiest guy in high school, and now I was being part of a skin head gang. Direct blood contact probably. I was hanging with gay porn stars in the last few weeks but didn't have unprotected sex.
 
phil-x said:
Basically I was named the geekiest guy in high school, and now I was being part of a skin head gang. Direct blood contact probably. I was hanging with gay porn stars in the last few weeks but didn't have unprotected sex.
Click to expand...

I'm very sorry about the results, I hope you can get your life back on track.
 
phil-x said:
Basically I was named the geekiest guy in high school, and now I was being part of a skin head gang. Direct blood contact probably. I was hanging with gay porn stars in the last few weeks but didn't have unprotected sex.
Click to expand...

Used other peoples drug paraphernalia?
 
phil-x said:
Basically I was named the geekiest guy in high school, and now I was being part of a skin head gang. Direct blood contact probably. I was hanging with gay porn stars in the last few weeks but didn't have unprotected sex.
Click to expand...

Did you have protected sex? Aren't skin head gangs like neo-nazi/racist types? Wouldn't hanging with gay porn stars be dangerous to say the least?
 
phil-x said:
Basically I was named the geekiest guy in high school, and now I was being part of a skin head gang. Direct blood contact probably. I was hanging with gay porn stars in the last few weeks but didn't have unprotected sex.
Click to expand...

what
 
That's awful, bud. I'm sorry to hear that, but it seems from this thread that it doesn't have to be the awful diagnosis it once was. Stay strong, stay honest to those you could potentially be with.


Good luck, man.
 
loganclaws said:
I'm very sorry about the results, I hope you can get your life back on track.
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The thing is that objectively, I have a wonderful life. It's just that I never could - and still can't - handle the perspective of mortality. Just in September, I was clubbing in Miami twice, did once in Ibiza, went on a train trip across Canada, did some biking in the rockies. I have such intense life moments that I feel like I'm disconnected from everything... Even with the news, the doctor told me that he's surprised that I'm not feeling scared or sad. It's just that I don't really care or comprehend at this moment :S
 
If you were hanging with skin heads and still are then i cant say i feel sorry for ya.

Edit: if that was the old you then hang in there. HIV isnt a death sentence.
 
Escape Goat said:
Did you have protected sex? Aren't skin head gangs like neo-nazi/racist types? Wouldn't hanging with gay porn stars be dangerous to say the least?
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Don't ask too much, 6 months earlier I was part of this communist anarchist group... I don't really hate anyone, it's just I wanted to belong to a group.
 
phil-x said:
The thing is that objectively, I have a wonderful life. It's just that I never could - and still can't - handle the perspective of mortality. Just in September, I was clubbing in Miami twice, did once in Ibiza, went on a train trip across Canada, did some biking in the rockies. I have such intense life moments that I feel like I'm disconnected from everything... Even with the news, the doctor told me that he's surprised that I'm not feeling scared or sad. It's just that I don't really care or comprehend at this moment :S
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're living for the first time. Keep it up, just be safe.
 
Oh dude that sucks.

Don't lose all hope though, the treatments they have nowadays, in a lot of instances, can extend your life for a very long time.
 
General Choomin said:
Are you gonna tell them? Basically you should tell everyone you got it even if you had protected sex with them. Where you dancing with Tina with other dudes?
Click to expand...

Didn't do any Tina, but some other stuff. I was bleeding once and a guy touched me, so that might be that but I just don't know... even condoms don't protect all the time.
 
was it your ass that was bleeding? That's how a lot of hiv is transmitted through gay sex. Through tiny cuts in the rectum. Or was it something else?
 
Sounds like the plot of a movie I've seen. Welp, if this is true, I'm honestly having a hard time feeling sorry for you.
 
You got your username changed, right?

I think I recall you saying you wanted to get HIV if you're who I think you are.
 
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