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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years

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trab pu kcip said:
not excluding it, it's totally possible. just saying it's not the only possibility + if you express your intentions directly you don't have to wonder about that stuff in the first place.
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Nowadays with facebook and all I've usually talked with the person I'm planning to meet up with for a while ahead of time and generally have most of the information you'd usually obtain on the first date before already. I'd like to think I also get a rather good feel of what the other person is looking for and what they are open to without directly asking any of the questions...and I imagine they can sense the same from me.

It's not exactly like I'm not open to a relationship, but most of the girls I meet aren't exactly relationship material for one or the other reason. Doesn't mean, that it's not fun to spend some time with them and hang out....no expectations.
 
This girl I saw on the weekend(as in, saw with a group of friends and I was with mine but didn't chat) added me on facebook out of the blue. She's really cute and she started chatting to me. We were chatting for about 20 mins and she seemed into me so I asked if she wanted to have a few drinks together sometime. Still waiting for that reply...

That seems to be my entire dating life boiled down into one moment.
 
Darklord said:
This girl I saw on the weekend added me on facebook out of the blue. She's really cute and she started chatting to me. We were chatting for about 20 mins and she seemed into me so I asked if she wanted to have a few drinks together sometime. Still waiting for that reply...

That seems to be my entire dating life boiled down into one moment.
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Lol, you're not alone.


Naw, but seriously don't overthink it. Just wait to see what she says.
 
SniperHunter said:
balding sucks, I notice that girls don't even look at me anymore. I used to be extremely hot a few years ago when I had hair! Feels bad man
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I started losing a bit of hair upfront, it sucked at first, but I also just started getting a shorter haircut and it looks better. Also, after a certain age, most guys experience some sorta hair loss so it's not like...you're the only one.

Another note, do you really want to go after a girl that passes that kinda judgement instantly?

If you had asked me this when I was younger, I probably would've said, "No, but I'd like to have the option."
 
SniperHunter said:
balding sucks, I notice that girls don't even look at me anymore. I used to be extremely hot a few years ago when I had hair! Feels bad man
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Cut it short, like shave it or get a buzz cut.

Grow a beard and keep it well if you can.

It's not about balding it's about being comfortable with who you are.

Hats are also nice when not in a formal environment.
 
The Artful Dodger said:
I started losing a bit of hair upfront, it sucked at first, but I also just started getting a shorter haircut and it looks better. Also, after a certain age, most guys experience some sorta hair loss so it's not like...you're the only one.
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UltimaPooh said:
Cut it short, like shave it or get a buzz cut.
Grow a beard and keep it well if you can.
It's not about balding it's about being comfortable with who you are.
Hats are also nice when not in a formal environment.
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yea I suffered extreme hair loss though. poor diet, lack of exercise and being unemployed doesn't help either. I don't even have money for a hair cut right now :/
 
SniperHunter said:
yea I suffered extreme hair loss though. poor diet, lack of exercise and being unemployed doesn't help either. I don't even have money for a hair cut right now :/
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Poor diet as well dude!

Just gotta cut it short.

Baseball caps are also wonderful as long as you don't always use them as a crutch for hiding your baldness.
 
SniperHunter said:
balding sucks, I notice that girls don't even look at me anymore. I used to be extremely hot a few years ago when I had hair! Feels bad man
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what kind of balding ? as in, literally balding with a receding hairline, or your hair is just thinning ?

friend took a pic of me about 2 months ago. am i balding or thinning ?

 
Visceir said:
Well, he did say the flirting and texting was semi-sexual in nature. I imagine the girl was somewhat aware what could have happened, just that the chemistry wasn't there in person....or he wasn't up to her standards in real life.
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This.

I complimented her twice and got nothing back in return. I'm not sure why not, because I've been told I look much better in person than I do in my profile usually.

The texting was sexual in nature which usually means DTF. Lots of comments like:


"if you're nervous just rub one out, or I'll handle it when I get there"

Plus some full body picture exchanges from her and myself back and forth.
 
UltimaPooh said:
Baseball caps are also wonderful as long as you don't always use them as a crutch for hiding your baldness.
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Reminds me of the "Denise Handicap" Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. Larry was surprised to find out that Denise was in a wheelchair and she was surprised to find out that Larry is bald (He was wearing baseball cap at time of meeting).

As others mentioned, keeping the hair short or shaved and growing a beard will help. A couple friends of mine are bald but it looks terrible because they do this massive comb-over.
 
Thacker said:
This.

I complimented her twice and got nothing back in return. I'm not sure why not, because I've been told I look much better in person than I do in my profile usually.

The texting was sexual in nature which usually means DTF. Lots of comments like:


"if you're nervous just rub one out, or I'll handle it when I get there"

Plus some full body picture exchanges from her and myself back and forth.
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I've had a similar situation. She did message you after though, could have just asked what was up. Not that the reason really matters but I would have been curious enough to ask before forgetting about her.

I've also had a situation where I've kissed the girl at the end of the date and then asked her if she wanted to meet up again afterwards via text, she said "probably not" but then messaged me like a month later, we met up again and hooked up for a while.
 
Visceir said:
I've had a similar situation. She did message you after though, could have just asked what was up. Not that the reason really matters but I would have been curious enough to ask before forgetting about her.

I've also had a situation where I've kissed the girl at the end of the date and then asked her if she wanted to meet up again afterwards via text, she said "probably not" but then messaged me like a month later, we met up again and hooked up for a while.
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Well this harks back to playing "games".
I feel that if I say "good luck" which is basically a closer, if she was into me enough to get into bed with me she'd fight a bit harder than just giving up herself.

It let's me validate my belief she wasn't into me by her not trying, without me looking like a simp by asking her "why don't you like me?"

Does that make any sense? Or am I just playing too many teenage games?
 
Thacker said:
Well this harks back to playing "games".
I feel that if I say "good luck" which is basically a closer, if she was into me enough to get into bed with me she'd fight a bit harder than just giving up herself.

It let's me validate my belief she wasn't into me by her not trying, without me looking like a simp by asking her "why don't you like me?"

Does that make any sense? Or am I just playing too many teenage games?
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That last part. Definitely.
 
Thacker said:
Well this harks back to playing "games".
I feel that if I say "good luck" which is basically a closer, if she was into me enough to get into bed with me she'd fight a bit harder than just giving up herself.

It let's me validate my belief she wasn't into me by her not trying, without me looking like a simp by asking her "why don't you like me?"

Does that make any sense? Or am I just playing too many teenage games?
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Yes. If a guy responded to me with such a statement, that would be a very clear sign to me that he was in no way interested in continuing contact.
 
Thacker said:
Well this harks back to playing "games".
I feel that if I say "good luck" which is basically a closer, if she was into me enough to get into bed with me she'd fight a bit harder than just giving up herself.

It let's me validate my belief she wasn't into me by her not trying, without me looking like a simp by asking her "why don't you like me?"

Does that make any sense? Or am I just playing too many teenage games?
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I don't think that works if she wasn't all that into you to begin with, haha.

Maybe just form the question in a casual manner that would make it seem like it couldn't have possibly been because she wasn't into you while making a remark to remind her how awesome the chemistry was before you met.

Should have just skipped the starbucks and instead found a good reason why she should come hang out at your place!

It's fun to think about it for me as a bystander, you're probably doing the smart thing by just forgetting about it all.

The Artful Dodger said:
You said Good luck in your search, you didn't close that door. You slammed it shut.
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Haha, yup.
 
Just wanted to tell someone so I might as well tell you guys. I've known this girl vaguely for 8 months or so and apparently she would have gone after me sooner but she thought I was dating someone else who is actually just a good friend. Cockblocked by a non existent relationship.

Any way, standard drunken makeouts at a hockey game party at her place and it has led to dating. I'm comparing it to previous relationships and it's like this is what it was always supposed to be like. It's been less than 2 weeks and we're still in the 'totally loopy for each other' phase but still, I'm feeling pretty good about it.
 
I have this disease where every girl I'm attracted to has a boyfriend. I asked that one girl that I kept wanting to sit next to me if she was seeing anyone and she's taken. She's cool though. Oh well, now I'm bored.
 
Nothing serious, but I'm having a good time with the scammers/spammers on Tinder (sadly, probably more entertaining than some conservations with "real" girls). She was interested in playing on cam, but I told her that unless Hungry Hungry Hippos was involved, I'd be too busy talking to Obama to get involved. I let her know I was NSA, so I'd be able to record the session anyway, and that Obama is actually an alien. Some other references to Homer's Odyssey and other nonsense (none of which she acknowledged of course).

Thanks for the fun night, spammers/scammers. I got a good laugh.
 
TruckDriver said:
At the end of the day, dating isn't something you learn in a textbook. It is something you learn by doing - getting out there, taking a chance, and trying.
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It's the "taking a chance" step that most people have problems with. No one likes to put themselves out there. That's not limited to just dating though. It's pretty true for a lot of things.
 
Dreavus said:
And with Facebook messaging, you can actually see when your last message was seen by your recipient. So you can rest assured that any wild speculation and over-thinking is completely justified! D:
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That "seen" indicator is the worst thing ever.
 
Dreavus said:
Remarkably on-point, for some interactions I've had recently at least!

And with Facebook messaging, you can actually see when your last message was seen by your recipient. So you can rest assured that any wild speculation and over-thinking is completely justified! D:
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beat said:
That "seen" indicator is the worst thing ever.
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Nawww, just stop staring at your screen waiting for a response. Overthinking, and reading too much into stuff can kill relationships quicker than anything else.
 
You don't need to stare at your screen when you can get FB messages on your phone... and yet don't.

Seriously, I went slowly insane one time due to an overnight gap between message seen and message response. (I was at least sane enough to not show that neediness, but it felt awful.) Wish I'd seen that Aziz Ansari clip earlier.

Ah well. I think I kinda slightly learned a lesson about overthinking stuff, at least.
 
Write the message on facebook and close it. The "seen" thing is literally the most stressing thing this has.

Be aware that some people get the message on their email, so they read the message, but since they haven't opened it on facebook, it doesn't show as read.

I do that sometimes, but because i'm lazy to open up facebook on my phone :/
 
Seen is great for planning with friends.

"I'll meet you in ten", oh they saw it and didn't go "no wait, I can't make it!", we good, I'll see them in ten :D
 
NeOak said:
Write the message on facebook and close it. The "seen" thing is literally the most stressing thing this has.

Be aware that some people get the message on their email, so they read the message, but since they haven't opened it on facebook, it doesn't show as read.

I do that sometimes, but because i'm lazy to open up facebook on my phone :/
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Also if you have a conversation window open but it doesn't have focus on it messages won't be marked as read even though you can easily read them.
 
I usually keep a book by my computer, not just cause I read alot but for that express reason. So when I message soembody on Facebook I just pick up the book and start reading it. Especially if it's one I really enjoy and am highly familiar with. So I can kinda divert my attention, also I start up music, or message a pal on steam, I haven't talked to in a while just to catch up.

If you're on your computer stressing about facebook messages just find ways to distract yourself, true you might look back to see if they respond but it beats sitting around waiting for a response.

Also if they ask "what's up with you?" and you respond by saying "Reading Toilers of the Sea by Victor Hugo" (Or whatever book you're reading, that just happens to be the book I'm trying to jump back into after a long hiatus of never finishing it), it's a much more interesting response than "nothing".
 
What a fantastic experience.

I fucked up with my timing to the date, but the rest of everything was just incredible. I'm really into this girl, hope everything goes smoothly.
 
Reporting back to Gaf again.

Tried Online dating, made an account to 5 different sites (OKCupid, Pof, Match, (Firstdate and Be2 Scandinavian sites)) and have send messages to 5-15 different persons on OKCupid, Pof and Be2 each, which are the only ones that allow sending messages without subscription. And 0 responses. I mean, what the actual fuck? It would be nice if you send "Sorry, but I am not interested." or something, but nooohohooo, let's just ignore him and let him think that hes not worth of anything. After all, I think i made a pretty good profile, putting ½-1h to writing the profile text, telling I am silent, shy, funny, gamer, good story teller and so on and took pretty good pictures out of myself on my front yard. Naturally,I got no contacts from the other side either. I think that maybe I should just lay low and forget about online dating. If I just leave the websites unattended for a couple months, there is bound to be messages in them after that, right (Not gonna happen)?
Also,I noticed that most of the paysites have inferior web architecture. I mean shit, it feels like it was build by some kid in 2 hours, and got 100$ out of it. Almost as if the website is announcing to the world that "We are a scam website. We don't care about our customers or anything, because there is always people stupid enough to pay us money!"

This all just feels like, the more and harder I try, the harder I fall down, accomplishing nothing. At this point to me love and happiness is just an urban legend, a myth tossed around by people. I'd like to think that everybody are saying they have experienced the true love and found a perfect soul mate, but it would be because they think that it is love, but in reality love doesn't exist. Unfortunately, I know better. All I want is a person to laugh with, love with, experience with. Is that really, seriously, too much to ask?

Maybe I'll just stop this pointless quest for a while, focus on something else (Like my new Wii U). I have noticed a few really pretty girls at my bus/train stop every morning when i go to work, but at the moment I just cannot take in another failure. So maybe I'll just settle for to keep my distance and quickly glance every now and then, trying to not look too much creepy.

I think this is the end of my first chapter on seeking a girlfriend, and I really really would like to hope that it won't be the last one.

End of chapter 1: Try hard, Die hard. (Sorry for being so dramatic, it's just how I roll)

TL;DR: Leaving Dating in general/Dating-Gaf for a while, I'll check back maybe in a month or so.
 
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