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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years

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SquiddyCracker said:
You didn't respect her privacy, and broke her trust.
She may have made a lie of omission, but if she wasn't having sex with the guy while the two of you were getting serious then what's the big deal?
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Because he wants a virgin? ;) And/or equals prior sex as promiscuity, skankiness and sluttiness, neither of which are bad things in anyone unless you put a negative stamp on it. Such lingering opinions are why we still have gender inequality sexually today.
 
2.5 hrs later and no response.

Edit: got a reply and we are go for a date on Wednesday. I may have done a Tiger Woods fist pump and yelled....

Yes!!!!!!!!!!
 
Well predictably this girl didn't text me (invited her out earlier and said she was busy tonight but would possibly text to do something anyways). Now to figure out the fine line between appearing desperate and actually getting to go on a date with her. :P Maybe I'll wait for the weekend before contacting again.

Also if nothing comes of this (as I'm expecting) I think I'm going to try and putting dating life on hold and focus on my work for a while. I realized I'm kind of embarrassed by my finances so I should get that together first.
 
TylerD said:
2.5 hrs later and no response.

Edit: got a reply and we are go for a date on Wednesday. I may have done a Tiger Woods fist pump and yelled....

Yes!!!!!!!!!!
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Congrats! I think its obvious that she's into you but just tried to put on the brakes because things were moving fast. But as I mentioned in my personal story above, when it feels right, it is right. It seems like you two have a good connection and she senses it too. That can be a bit scary at first, but once you get on the roller coaster, the ride is well worth it. :)
 
vcassano1 said:
Yes, pretend you are an architect.
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Or a latex salesman.

I just had one of those moments of clarity when you get a flashback of what you clearly did when you were drunk but had completely forgotten until later.

I was thinking why I hadn't heard from the girl who took my number at the bar last Friday but I've now got this bad feeling that I gave her the wrong number. She gave me her phone to enter my number but when I was supposed to hit 0 I reckon I have hit 8. I checked a samsung galaxy number pad picture on the net and the 8 is right above the 0, so I am 90% sure I typed in the wrong number, saw it was the wrong number but didn't change it because I was too drunk!

After all the times I have been given a fake number, I'm pretty sure that I dished one out (unintentionally).

I've learnt/rediscovered a few things since Friday: I'm pretty charming when I get drunk but maybe I get too drunk, always call yourself when holding the girls phone to confirm both numbers, give them your full name if they ask for it (when she was entering my surname I told her and she attempted to enter it but she then handed me the phone to enter it. I dont know why but I only put an initial, so she can't Facebook me), and always try to remember her name (I can only remember one of the three girls I was chatting to's name).

Pretty funny when I think about it but lots of leasons learnt.
 
Kung Fu Jedi said:
Congrats! I think its obvious that she's into you but just tried to put on the brakes because things were moving fast. But as I mentioned in my personal story above, when it feels right, it is right. It seems like you two have a good connection and she senses it too. That can be a bit scary at first, but once you get on the roller coaster, the ride is well worth it. :)
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Thank you. I had my doubts and thought I might be entering into the friend zone with how she was msging about being over guys, drama, etc.. and her messages had become pretty cold and short. I certainly wasn't feeling the "like".
 
Could someone give me a 101 on how people decide what they want to do on a date?

I'm guessing you generally decide to do something that you'd otherwise like to do with regular people, but I don't generally do things with people.

Whenever I hear date ideas, they either sound kinda boring for the more traditional ones or strange an arbitrary for the more unique ones.

The fact that I can't really imagine a date being enjoyable leads me to believe that dating just isn't a great way to go about finding a relationship. But here all you guys talk about is dating like it's the only way. So what am I missing?
 
Box said:
Could someone give me a 101 on how people decide what they want to do on a date?

I'm guessing you generally decide to do something that you'd otherwise like to do with regular people, but I don't generally do things with people.

Whenever I hear date ideas, they either sound kinda boring for the more traditional ones or strange an arbitrary for the more unique ones.

The fact that I can't really imagine a date being enjoyable leads me to believe that dating just isn't a great way to go about finding a relationship. But here all you guys talk about is dating like it's the only way. So what am I missing?
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There are some pretty awesome rooftops with great views in my city. Make a basket with some food and a bottle of wine(or 2) and get up there at night.

But thats more during the summer and not for a first date. I always go with the classical dinner and a movie. In that order.
 
Our Wednesday night date is going to be dinner and a movie but I am making dinner and she is going to bring the movie to my apartment. I don't see a date as something that requires going out.

I am going to kill it with some pan-fried garlic and rosemary lamb chops, sauteed mushrooms, roasted asparagus, and baby spinach salad. With wine of course!

If you are doing online dating a good first date is just getting coffee and talking to see if you want to go on another date. It is a low risk way for both parties to get to know each other better in person and if it isn't going well, you aren't going to spend too much time with them.

In my case, the last time I got coffee with a girl we went back to her apartment and talked for hours.
 
Box said:
Could someone give me a 101 on how people decide what they want to do on a date?

I'm guessing you generally decide to do something that you'd otherwise like to do with regular people, but I don't generally do things with people.

Whenever I hear date ideas, they either sound kinda boring for the more traditional ones or strange an arbitrary for the more unique ones.

The fact that I can't really imagine a date being enjoyable leads me to believe that dating just isn't a great way to go about finding a relationship. But here all you guys talk about is dating like it's the only way. So what am I missing?
Click to expand...

There are ideas, but dates are something to discover the other person. How conventional or unconventional it is depends on you.
 
Servbot24 said:
How long are you planning to stay unemployed? :P
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I am in college and plan to concentrate in studying 100% for this semester, but I should be getting a job by the end of the year. So thing is, I already have a gf, but only now my situation has gotten tighter. I mentioned to her some recent surprise expenses and she replied by saying we'll find ways to have fun without spending much money.

Quite understandig of her, I just have this little irrational pang that since we won't be able to go out and eat out as much maybe she'll choose to eat out with her friends, which is totally fine except most are guys.

I know I'm doing this to later improve my own situation, but it feels crappy knowing you can't take your girl out for a dinner or lunch. Frustrating is the word I'm looking for. Still unsure how to feel about her saying "my lack of money is cute."

I'm trying to understand how to deal with these thoughts.
 
Artofwar420 said:
I am in college and plan to concentrate in studying 100% for this semester, but I should be getting a job by the end of the year. So thing is, I already have a gf, but only now my situation has gotten tighter. I mentioned to her some recent surprise expenses and she replied by saying we'll find ways to have fun without spending much money.

Quite understandig of her, I just have this little irrational pang that since we won't be able to go out and eat out as much maybe she'll choose to eat out with her friends, which is totally fine except most are guys.

I know I'm doing this to later improve my own situation, but it feels crappy knowing you can't take your girl out for a dinner or lunch. Frustrating is the word I'm looking for. Still unsure how to feel about her saying "my lack of money is cute."

I'm trying to understand how to deal with these thoughts.
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If she stays through this, she gets extra points and would make her a keeper.

Stuff happens. Don't worry about it too much.
 
Artofwar420 said:
I am in college and plan to concentrate in studying 100% for this semester, but I should be getting a job by the end of the year. So thing is, I already have a gf, but only now my situation has gotten tighter. I mentioned to her some recent surprise expenses and she replied by saying we'll find ways to have fun without spending much money.

Quite understandig of her, I just have this little irrational pang that since we won't be able to go out and eat out as much maybe she'll choose to eat out with her friends, which is totally fine except most are guys.

I know I'm doing this to later improve my own situation, but it feels crappy knowing you can't take your girl out for a dinner or lunch. Frustrating is the word I'm looking for. Still unsure how to feel about her saying "my lack of money is cute."

I'm trying to understand how to deal with these thoughts.
Click to expand...

No girl should expect to date a college student and get taken out all the time. She'll deal, just make sure you make up for it by indeed finding fun and cheap things to do.
 
Hey relationship GAF. Have something that's been on my mind. I'll start off by saying that the huge friend zone thread from a couple of weeks back really inspired me to ask out this girl. I just went and did it, didn't want to be that guy. She accepted and we went out for coffee the next day.

We met up and we were getting to know each other. I felt it was going really well. We had to cut it short, since he had an R.A. meeting on campus that she had to go to. I thought we'd end it there and meet up another time, but she said there's no reason that I couldn't come. So we spent more time together then, still getting to know each other. The meeting was over certain divisive political issues. It was an interesting experience, but I couldn't say much because I wasn't an R.A. That ended and she mentioned that she was going to eat with some friends. Again, I thought we should meet up later, but she again said that there wasn't any reason that I couldn't come. So we ate with her friends and it was all fine. We part ways afterwards. Biggest mistake I could see at the time was that I forgot to get her number. I remedied that today.

Anyway, the niggling feeling in the back of my head is that I already messed up. I asked a friend for her advice and she confirmed my suspicions. She said that I shouldn't have went to the R.A. meeting with her, and I DEFINITELY shouldn't have went out with her friends because I'm already establishing that I'm a friend. The dreaded "friend zone" strikes again!

So what can I do here? I'm thinking of asking her out again, but have I already messed up?
 
TylerD said:
Our Wednesday night date is going to be dinner and a movie but I am making dinner and she is going to bring the movie to my apartment. I don't see a date as something that requires going out.

I am going to kill it with some pan-fried garlic and rosemary lamb chops, sauteed mushrooms, roasted asparagus, and baby spinach salad. With wine of course!

If you are doing online dating a good first date is just getting coffee and talking to see if you want to go on another date. It is a low risk way for both parties to get to know each other better in person and if it isn't going well, you aren't going to spend too much time with them.

In my case, the last time I got coffee with a girl we went back to her apartment and talked for hours.
Click to expand...

Jesus, take me on a date bro.
 
Malajax said:
Hey relationship GAF. Have something that's been on my mind. I'll start off by saying that the huge friend zone thread from a couple of weeks back really inspired me to ask out this girl. I just went and did it, didn't want to be that guy. She accepted and we went out for coffee the next day.

We met up and we were getting to know each other. I felt it was going really well. We had to cut it short, since he had an R.A. meeting on campus that she had to go to. I thought we'd end it there and meet up another time, but she said there's no reason that I couldn't come. So we spent more time together then, still getting to know each other. The meeting was over certain divisive political issues. It was an interesting experience, but I couldn't say much because I wasn't an R.A. That ended and she mentioned that she was going to eat with some friends. Again, I thought we should meet up later, but she again said that there wasn't any reason that I couldn't come. So we ate with her friends and it was all fine. We part ways afterwards. Biggest mistake I could see at the time was that I forgot to get her number. I remedied that today.

Anyway, the niggling feeling in the back of my head is that I already messed up. I asked a friend for her advice and she confirmed my suspicions. She said that I shouldn't have went to the R.A. meeting with her, and I DEFINITELY shouldn't have went out with her friends because I'm already establishing that I'm a friend. The dreaded "friend zone" strikes again!

So what can I do here? I'm thinking of asking her out again, but have I already messed up?
Click to expand...

Did you make it obvious that you were asking her out on a date? Or was it just "do you want to grab a coffee sometime?". Did you initiate any physical contact? Did she?
 
Box said:
Could someone give me a 101 on how people decide what they want to do on a date?

I'm guessing you generally decide to do something that you'd otherwise like to do with regular people, but I don't generally do things with people.

Whenever I hear date ideas, they either sound kinda boring for the more traditional ones or strange an arbitrary for the more unique ones.

The fact that I can't really imagine a date being enjoyable leads me to believe that dating just isn't a great way to go about finding a relationship. But here all you guys talk about is dating like it's the only way. So what am I missing?
Click to expand...
Pretty much everyone I know just goes out to get drinks. Dates are just about getting to know the other person. If you're not going to have fun just talking with your partner, you shouldn't date them. You can worry about doing more elaborate things later when you know you like each other.
 
Malajax said:
Hey relationship GAF. Have something that's been on my mind. I'll start off by saying that the huge friend zone thread from a couple of weeks back really inspired me to ask out this girl. I just went and did it, didn't want to be that guy. She accepted and we went out for coffee the next day.

We met up and we were getting to know each other. I felt it was going really well. We had to cut it short, since he had an R.A. meeting on campus that she had to go to. I thought we'd end it there and meet up another time, but she said there's no reason that I couldn't come. So we spent more time together then, still getting to know each other. The meeting was over certain divisive political issues. It was an interesting experience, but I couldn't say much because I wasn't an R.A. That ended and she mentioned that she was going to eat with some friends. Again, I thought we should meet up later, but she again said that there wasn't any reason that I couldn't come. So we ate with her friends and it was all fine. We part ways afterwards. Biggest mistake I could see at the time was that I forgot to get her number. I remedied that today.

Anyway, the niggling feeling in the back of my head is that I already messed up. I asked a friend for her advice and she confirmed my suspicions. She said that I shouldn't have went to the R.A. meeting with her, and I DEFINITELY shouldn't have went out with her friends because I'm already establishing that I'm a friend. The dreaded "friend zone" strikes again!

So what can I do here? I'm thinking of asking her out again, but have I already messed up?
Click to expand...

If she's interested in you as more than a friend then you're fine. If she's interested in you as just a friend then you're screwed. She made that decision over coffee, and you attending either of the RA functions didn't change her decision. Ask her out again if you thought there was a connection, stop over thinking it.
 
Raiden said:
Jesus, take me on a date bro.
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I am working to get her to do her little food dance again. When we made dinner the night after we met and she took a bite of the medium rare steak I made she did a little happy dance and my heart just melted. She apologized and said that she was weird and I was just grinning from ear to ear because of how cute it was and that I do the same damn thing.

The fact this chick really likes Motorsport and racing especially Formula 1 is just too much. Then we have similar political and religious beliefs as well... it is pretty rediculous.
 
Lone_Prodigy said:
This is good, but they're individual activities. Join a club to meet people with similar interests.

At the end of the day isn't everything a way to kill time?
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Maybe. I don't hang out with friends to kill time. I do it because I like being around them. I don't check my watch wondering how much time I have left before I'm done, I check it to see how much I can make the most of the remaining time.
 
zeemumu said:
I get this one a lot. I need more hobbies but I have no idea what to do. I go to the gym, hike, read, watch tv/anime, and play video games, but I feel like I need a different hobby to keep me busy. The others are fine but they don't take my mind off of anything, they just kill time.
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zeemumu said:
Maybe. I don't hang out with friends to kill time. I do it because I like being around them. I don't check my watch wondering how much time I have left before I'm done, I check it to see how much I can make the most of the remaining time.
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I like to follow sports, and pick a bar and hang out there once or twice a week and get drinks, talk to the locals and get to know folks, especially my bartenders and waitresses. They always got good stories and generally it's a good way to pass the time.

I don't know what you mean by "just killing time", I get it in the sense you feel you're not doing substantial thing with your life. I dunno, read more challenging books, like great works or literature, or learn about periods in history or like...um...concepts or whatever. Take up whittling or some older hobby that would be cool to do. Go find cheap local shows and just go, cause you can.

You start applying your mind to other things, whatever you don't wanna think about will fade away simply because it's not as much of a priority.
 
The Artful Dodger said:
I don't know what you mean by "just killing time", I get it in the sense you feel you're not doing substantial thing with your life. I dunno, read more challenging books, like great works or literature, or learn about periods in history or like...um...concepts or whatever. Take up whittling or some older hobby that would be cool to do. Go find cheap local shows and just go, cause you can.

You start applying your mind to other things, whatever you don't wanna think about will fade away simply because it's not as much of a priority.
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Killing time meaning that you're only doing what you're doing because you know that you'll have something more important/interesting to do when it's over. For example, I might play a few rounds of League of Legends because a few rounds take around 1 to 1.5 hours for me.
 
nOoblet16 said:
So something unexpected happened yesterday, I met a gamer girl (proper one at that, her first game was Baldur's Gate) who loves cosplaying and even makes her own costumes, will be going to comic con next year and likes pretty much the same things as me from politics to travelling to movies and rest. She grew up in multiple countries so has that international outlook. Even some of her life goals are similar and as crazy and ridiculous as mine (visit Antarctica and climb Everest someday..heh).

She's slightly older than me (about 3 or 4 years gap) and somewhat average/above average looking but appeared to have an amazing personality and I felt a great connection with her so I got her number. However, I am a novice in the dating scene so I'm not sure how to handle this properly because in the past I've missed out on things simply because I couldn't handle the situations. In fact there's this other ridiculously good looking girl who used to like me once (I blew it of course) and I've been trying to get back to for the past few weeks with little success.
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Ok so regarding this.
I was kind of busy sorting out my shit until today (mid semester, uni work etc) and I sent her a text this evening, been 5 hours now and no reply from her (and it's midnight now). Did I just have a fuck up?

Granted that my text didn't really have a question but was just a holler followed by something she mentioned when we last spoke, I'm not sure if that would make any difference though. She genuinely seemed interested in the conversation we had and meeting again.
 
A no reply doesn't equal a fuck up. You guys have to stop clock watching when sending messages. It will drive you nuts.
 
GK86 said:
A no reply doesn't equal a fuck up. You guys have to stop clock watching when sending messages. It will drive you nuts.
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True it does. But I'm wondering if this just means a no cause usually people don't take this long.

EDIT: Black Flag was released today no? She is borderline nuts about Assassin's Creed. Might be playing that lol.
 
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
Pretty much everyone I know just goes out to get drinks. Dates are just about getting to know the other person. If you're not going to have fun just talking with your partner, you shouldn't date them. You can worry about doing more elaborate things later when you know you like each other.
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Maybe I should be asking how people decide who they want to date.
 
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
I really want an update from Guiberu about what happened after he got mad at his girlfriend for choosing him over another dude.
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So it is bad for his girlfriend to have fucked another dude before being in something serious with him while it's fine for him to have fucked another girl before he got in something serious with her.

When is irrelevant. What is relevant is that she hasn't fucked another dude while being in something serious with him.
 
NeOak said:
So it is bad for his girlfriend to have fucked another dude before being in something serious with him while it's fine for him to have fucked another girl before he got in something serious with her.

When is irrelevant. What is relevant is that she hasn't fucked another dude while being in something serious with him.
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Yep, really frustrating reading what he did to her. I get the feeling he's got some hangups that he's taking out on her instead of being honest with himself so he can grow.

Like "everyone's cheated on me," but he's the one snooping through her stuff and judging her? Kind of setting himself up for failure.
 
nOoblet16 said:
True it does. But I'm wondering if this just means a no cause usually people don't take this long.
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People get busy with their lives and shit happens. Evident by the fact that you didn't message her until today because of school/work. It could be a million and one reasons other than that she doesn't want to talk to you. Don't start thinking doom after a few hours of no response.
 
nOoblet16 said:
Ok so regarding this.
I was kind of busy sorting out my shit until today (mid semester, uni work etc) and I sent her a text this evening, been 5 hours now and no reply from her (and it's midnight now). Did I just have a fuck up?

Granted that my text didn't really have a question but was just a holler followed by something she mentioned when we last spoke, I'm not sure if that would make any difference though. She genuinely seemed interested in the conversation we had and meeting again.
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5 hours? When I don't want to talk to someone, I ignore for a week, at least. Actually doing it to someone at the moment.

Give her a day at least.
 
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
Pretty much everyone I know just goes out to get drinks. Dates are just about getting to know the other person. If you're not going to have fun just talking with your partner, you shouldn't date them. You can worry about doing more elaborate things later when you know you like each other.
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Please tell this to practically every person I know. I've recently encountered this baffling mindset among my peers where people don't like the idea of dating someone they haven't know for an extended period of time.
 
I'm a medical assistant at an orthopedist's office that also have physical therapy. Lately, this very cute girl has been coming in and she's caught my interest. I've talked to her a few good times and made her laugh, but I still feel there's a distance between us since I see her once a week at best, that if I asked her out it'd seem weird and creepy.

Can I ask for her Facebook/number maybe if the former sounds creepy? I really don't want to fuck this up.

She's seeing the doctor this Thursday so I have my next move then.
 
Courage said:
I'm a medical assistant at an orthopedist's office that also have physical therapy. Lately, this very cute girl has been coming in and she's caught my interest. I've talked to her a few good times and made her laugh, but I still feel there's a distance between us since I see her once a week at best, that if I asked her out it'd seem weird and creepy.

Can I ask for her Facebook/number maybe if the former sounds creepy? I really don't want to fuck this up.

She's seeing the doctor this Thursday so I have my next move then.
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I think asking for her FB is more of an after thought unless you plan on following up by chatting her up once you add her in hopes of eventually meeting up. I remember asking for this one chick's number once when I was in community college and maybe it was because I was nervous but she thought about it and gave me her FB instead. I added her, chatted with her briefly once, and didn't suggest meeting up. Eventually I forgot about her to the point where she got a boyfriend and de-friended me.

So yeah man, definitely go for her number and save yourself the trouble. If worse comes to worse, then maybe she might give you her FB instead or say no. Either way, it doesn't hurt to try.
 
Probably gonna for her number. I might take the gamble and hope the doctor tells her to continue physical therapy for another month or two, and if anything I'll get a little closer to her and then ask her.
 
Courage said:
Probably gonna for her number. I might take the gamble and hope the doctor tells her to continue physical therapy for another month or two, and if anything I'll get a little closer to her and then ask her.
Click to expand...

The sooner, the better man. Don't be such a cowardly dog man or else you'll regret it. ;)
 
Jipan said:
The sooner, the better man. Don't be such a cowardly dog man or else you'll regret it. ;)
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