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[Deleted member 1235]

Are driving through transylvania when a mini dracula jumps on the bonnet and starts waving his arms and hissing at them. "What do we do!" shouts 1 nun (or nun 1) nun 2 yells "Quick turn on the wipers" Nun 1 turns on the wipers, the mini dracula fights off the wipers, breaks them and continues to hiss and wave his arms. "What now" shouts nun 1. "Quick spray him with the Windscreen washer, I filled it with holy water this morning" Nun 1 sprays the little hellbeast and he starts to sizzle and scream, but he moves out the way and starts tearing into the paint work of the hood. "What now!" screams nun 1. "Quick show him your cross" Yells nun 2 "Okay" nun 1 rolls down the window and yells "Hey dickhead, Get the fuck off my hood!!"

EDIT: Hood, dracula, worst joke ever.

 

[LakeEarth]

What's a bonnet? The roof of the car?

 

[Deleted member 1235]

What's a bonnet? The roof of the car?

oh crap.

Hood. get the fuck off my hood.

 

[Dujour]

hahaha, man, I don't get it. Not even a little bit, but typoing dracular made me think of dragula and Sesame Street's The Count with binoculars. :/

 

[demon]

hahaha, man, I don't get it. Not even a little bit, but typoing dracular made me think of dragula and Sesame Street's The Count with binoculars. :/

"show him your your cross" --> "show him you're cross(the adjective)"

Get it now, GENIUS?

 

[Archaix]

Find it pretty odd that one would get the punchline but not understand what bonnet means(I thought it was fairly popular as far as terms from another country go).

I'd expect most people who are confused to not understand the "cross" part.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

An old man and woman decide to take on a boarder to pay the bills, an young beautiful model applys for the room and during the interview says "I need to have baths, does this place have a bath?" The old woman replies "No, but we do have an enormous basin, if you like we could bring it down in front of the fire once a week and fill it with water so you can bathe, my husband goes to darts club every sunday so that would be perfect". The model agrees.

Sunday comes around and Old man goes to play darts, the model undresses in front of the fire and the old women is surprised to see she doesn't have even a single hair "down there" She is really taken aback and asks the model about it. Model says "Yes I have to do that for swimwear modelling". The old woman more than a little intrigued. she tells her husband about it at bed time that night. "I don't believe you" says the husband. "Ok, when you go to darts club, I will leave the curtain open a crack and you can wait in the bushes and have a look". Old man agrees and goes off to darts club the next week (or so the model thinks) She gets undresses as normal and the wife standing behind her, exposes her own hairy minge behind her and points at it (for comparisons sake).

Later that night in bed, the husband and wife are discussing the hairless beaver. "Why in gods name did you flash your bush as well!?!?" "For comparisons sake dear! Besides you've seen my snatch hundreds of times"

"Yes, but the whole fucken darts team hasnt!"

 

[LakeEarth]

Now you see, THAT'S what we call a good joke.