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Alex Lucard's retrogaming rpg list

:lol What the hell is this kind of column doing on a sports fansite?

But anyway, eh, it sounds like he's a PC RPG fanboy, considering he stated there are no RPGs on his list from [insert shitload of consoles]. And if he only has PS1 and PS2 RPGs on there, well he must have bad taste or only got into consoles recently.
 
You mean this guy is really named A.Lucard ? I'd give money to get that name and mock all the goth wannabes.
 
I stopped reading after the "There is not a Star Ocean game on this list" part... but yeah I don't get what it's doing in a sports section.
 
Wow, that's actually a great read. Whether you agree with it or not. It gets bonus points with me because he recognizes what shit FF is. I had to repost this take because...it's funny. Sorry it's so long, but I think it's worth it.

"#16. Segagaga
Release Date: 03/29/01
Developer: Hitmaker
Publisher: SEGA
Systems Released On: Sega Dreamcast

I think when I did the original version of this rant in the DC article, I shocked everyone. And that includes the rest of the Kliq. Sure they knew I loved Persona. Had heard me occasionally mention with fondness the words Sakura Taisen. And unless you have just come out of living in a came on Mars where you plugged your eears and sewed your eyes shut, then you know about my scary psychotic love for Pokemon and Ikaruga? But Segagaga? That was my surprise to everyone. I kept my passion for this game bottled up until I had the perfect chance to unleash it on all of you. Like the Sakura Wars 3 rant, I couldn't outdo what I needed to say about Segagaga. What I knew you all needed to hear and understand. So I've edited it a bit hear and added some extra verbiage. But this is a game I damn well better get emails from my readers saying, "Alex, I went out and bought this game. Please take me of you 'needs to die list' now. Thank you." Now read and understand.

This is it gang. This is Sega’s swan song. The finale. The finale hurrah. The last great truly incredible game they ever had. And fitting it was a way to say ‘Fuck you’ to Sony and ‘Thank you’ to the true Sega fanatics that stood by them through everything. Not a game since has equaled the originality, beauty, and outright psychotic nature of this game. Super Monkey Ball? Meh. Sonic Heroes? Bleah. Billy Hatcher? Snicker. Panzer Dragoon Orta? Sorry people. All great games, but this. THIS. This game truly is the defining moment of Sega as a company, corporation, and provider of entertainment and happiness to countless gamers. It never was to be translated into English. It even had to be edited after it first debuted in Japan because it was that screwed up. Yes, that’s right. JAPAN CENSORED THIS GAME.

And Sega had every right to make this game. It wasn’t for the average gamer. It wasn’t for the people who think 3D gaming is superior to 2D gaming. Or that near naked women in a game should be a major selling factor. Or any of the other crap we have had to put up with since casual gaming came up. It’s for people that loved Sega games and systems. People who own Burning Rangers or all three scenarios of Shining Force 3. People who own the 32X and still USE it. People who still whip out the master system for a game of Space Harrier or Alex Kidd in Shinobi World. People who hug the Saturn after a good game of Dragon Force or Guardian Heroes or hook up the Sega CD for just ONE MORE game of Dracula Unleashed before bed. People who still fucking remember Sega's Pre-Sonic mascot! This is for those that truly loved Sega. Believed in Sega. Stood by them through the 16 and 32 bit wars and trusted them enough for the 128 bit Dreamcast. This was Sega’s way of saying good bye, thank you and we’re sorry. It was the ultimate middle finger and apology all at the same time. And it was beautiful beyond words.

A month after it came out, it was going for two hundred dollars. This is the only time in my life I have ever been tempted to buy a bootleg copy of this game. I could have picked one up for thirty dollars. And I almost did, until I managed to come across on unedited Dreamcast Direct Limited Edition. And I paid the full price for this. The only other time I've shilled out that kind of money for a game was for Neo Geo Carts or the Sakura Taisen collection. I can't begin to describe to you how I would spend nights in Portland online instead of clubbing or hanging out with friends trying to track down one of these.

When it finally arrived, it was worth it. It came with a SGGG T-shirt, the game in a special one time only DVD case, pins of every system ever made in a wooden box and more. Hell, you could even get a SGGG VMU that went for 80 dollars! Only one game has ever come in a larger box and with more stuff, and that is the LOVE HINA game that even game with its own stuffed turtle and sauna towel. Oh, and a clock of Keitaro and Naru getting married. Why the hell don't these limited edition packs get released in America? WHY????

Lucky for all of you today, you can get the game, albeit it edited and without the cool extra gear, for only 30$. Buy it now or face my wraith

The year is 2025. Sega is near bankrupt. It has only 5% of the market share. The rest of the video game industry is controlled by the DOGMA Corporation who has ruined the purity of video gaming by deciding graphics are more important than gameplay, that 2D gaming isn’t as profitable, and that selling to the lowest common denominator works. That’s right. Dogma is a thinly veiled attack on Sony Corp. God bless you Hitmaker for being as evil as you could to Sony.

Sega needs helps. They have an estimated three years before bankruptcy. And so they initiate the SGGG program. You and another person (a girl) are hired by Sega to turn the company around and save video gaming from the idiocy that are casual gamers and DOGMA. Notice the all caps there people. It means HEEEEEEEEEL.

What begins is a amazing Business Simulation crossed with an RPG. Remember Wall Street Kid for the NES? Or EWR for the PC? Imagine those crossed with Dragon Quest or Valkyrie Profile. BA-BAM! You’ve got SGGG.

The interface is hilarious and addicting beyond words. The idea is you must develop games. Typical video game company stuff, right? But first you’ve got to get developERS. And in order to do that you’ve got to go to the R&D Lab and recruit them. It’s amusing because the R&D lab is a Dungeon and the developers are monsters by RPG standards. Negotiating is done via a Quiz/Dating Sim style segment and is a lot of fun. Unless you don’t know Japanese. Then it’s guess and pray.

There are so many wacky things that occur. Dealing with the VG press, salary negotiations, retarded executives, pissed off fans when you have to delay the game release thanks to unexpected errors. You are living what it is like to be a video game developer here people. And you will learn to despise video game fans after playing this game a few times. Oh yes. You will. But more importantly, you will learn to appreciate companies for making games and all that they do. Including the fighting ‘monsters’ part. Who ever knew that the industry was that violent? I assumed it was just the Kliq and our cruel acts of randomly inserting things into Widro's anus after drugging him with massive amounts of codine and PCP was completely and totally abnormal. But Segagaga teaches you that in fact, all people in the video game industry are violent perverts.

This game is Sega’s death rattle people. The end of the Sega we all knew and loved. But in typical Sega fashion they don’t go down in a blaze of glory or morbidly lamenting their demise. They go out having fun, making fun of themselves and their situation. They give fans the one last true Sega hurrah. And then start making games for consoles and companies that don’t deserve to have that Blue and white logo flash on a screen connected to their hardware.

This is hands down the greatest thing Hitmaker ever put out. No video game will ever come close to the emotion, passion and madness inherent to this one game. It’s also the rarest of the rare in terms of getting the original uncut first collector’s release. 4 versions of this game exist, and of course, the first is the best.

I know when most people think of the DC they think of 9.9.99. But not me. I think of 3.29.01: The release date of SGGG. The purest moment in all of Sega’s storied history. And the day a game was released where a company proved it had a soul.

If you know Japanese and own a Dreamcast you owe it to yourself and Sega to get this. To devour it. To savour every moment and line and joke and tribute and memory put into this game. Segagaga is an experience. A revelation. A annul in video gaming that should be revered as much for its obscurity as for its honesty.

SEGA!"
 
Catchpenny said:
He's a funny writer but his tastes are awful. Thousand Arms? Yuck.
Click to expand...
Yeah, there's some definite stinkers in there. I gagged when he said Dark Wizard was deeper than Advance Wars... plus Tactics Ogre GBA or Disgaea making the list and not Tactics Ogre or FFT? Ugh!


Here's the list for those who'd prefer not to dig...

01 Valkyrie Profile (Enix/tri-Ace)
02 Persona 2: Innocent Sin/Eternal Punishement (Atlus)
03 Shining Force II (Sega/Camelot)
04 Sakura Taisen (Sega/Red)
05 Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal (Nintendo/Game Freak/Creatures)
06 Shadowrun (Vertigo 2099/Blue Sky)
07 Shining Force (Sega/Sonic/Climax)
08 Dragon Force (Sega/Working Designs)
09 Koudelka (SNK/Infogrames/Sacnoth)
10 Pokemon Red/Green/Blue (Nintendo/Game Freak/Creatures)
11 Persona (Atlus)
12 Lunar: Silver Star Story (Kadowkawa Shoten/Working Designs/GameArts/JAM)
13 Dark Wizard (Sega)
14 Eye of the Beholder (SSI/Westwood)
15 Legend of Mana (Square)
16 SeGaGaGa (Sega/Hitmaker)
17 Panzer Dragoon Saga (Sega/Team Andromeda)
18 Sakura Taisen 3 (Sega/OverWorks/Red)
19 Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis (Nintendo/Atlus/Quest)
20 Grandia (ESP/GameArts)
21 Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II (VU/Black Isle)
22 Rhapsody (N1/Atlus)
23 Thousand Arms (Atlus/Red)
24 Phantasy Star II (Sega)
25 Disgaea (N1/Atlus)
26 The Bard’s Tale (EA/Interplay)
27 Super Hydlide (Asmik/Seismic/T&E Soft)
28 Dragon Warrior (Enix/Nintendo/Chunsoft)
29 The Sword of Vermillion (Sega/AM2)
30 Slayers Royal (ESP/Kadowkawa Shoten)


...despite VP being number one and Grandia sneaking in, it's still a pretty assy list. :/
 
Just got finished reading his Shining Force retrospective (linked from the Shining Force 1/Dragon Force/Koudelka page), pretty good stuff. Never got a chance to play the third one so it was good to read about it. His tastes are very odd (Thousand Arms? Super Hydlide?) but there's some good stuff on there (Valkyrie Profile), it's just the constant FF bashing (whether or not it's called for) gets old rather quickly :P
 
He's a troll; he thrives on controversy. His articles are full of self-righteous indignation and fan-baiting. Every so often one of his articles starts a new furor and brings in the hits.
 
Himuro said:
I do not understand how Rhapsody can be on any "best rpgs ever" list. I mean seriously.
Click to expand...

It was a cute game with a unique story (I bought it at launch... paid $55 for it, people laughed at me but now it's worth double), but yeah really. Horribly repetitive dungeons and the most mind-numbingly easy combat ever in a game. It's Nippon Ichi's first game, seriously when I played Rhapsody, I had no idea that they'd become such a cult phenomenon just 3 or 4 years later.
 
His taste seems to be precisely inverse to mine. At least half of that lists consists of the RPGs I have played that I least like. I'm surprised Legend of Dragoon isn't on there. Actually, the only three I like (which I like very much) are Grandia, Panzer Dragoon Saga, and Valkyrie Profile. His only Square game, while interesting, is one of the weakest RPGs Square has ever released.
 
How can you not like Dragon Force? Dragon Force RULES. I don't really care about most of his list, I just like the ShiningForce/DragonForce love and FF bashing haha.
 
He certainly does have unique tastes, but that's not a reason to bash him. I'd only bash him if his writing was poor or he fails to justify his opinions.
 
jarrod said:
15 Legend of Mana (Square)
27 Super Hydlide (Asmik/Seismic/T&E Soft)
Click to expand...

Legend of Mana...*vomits*

I don't even remember Super Hydlide existing, but if it was anything like the NES original...*dry heave*
 
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