Kobun Heat
Member
Mr. Thompson -- oh, what the hell, "Jack" --
It's Chris Kohler. You might recognize my name; in the mornings when you wake up with your head in the toilet after intense sessions of vomiting caused by huffing rubber cement fumes out of a garbage bag, KOHLER is probably the first word you see, right there in block print above the bowl.
I'd like to call your attention to a dangerous video game that is rotting away the moral fiber, dietary fiber, fiber optics, and possibly even the Metamucil brand fiber beverages of our nation's young people. I demand -- nay, I SUGGEST STRONGLY -- that you focus the entire energy of your brain to calling the public's attention to this video game.
It is called Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! and it is available for the Nintendo DS. As you might imagine, if you say Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! into a cassette player then play it backwards, you will quite clearly hear the phrase "Columbine Times One Thousand." I mean you personally will hear this because of all the rubber cement.
You will be shocked and appalled to learn that Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! has not even been rated by the ESRB so God knows what is in there. From exhaustive research on the Internet I have determined that some of its characters are under the age of eighteen years old, which allows child molesters to enact their fantasies in the virtual world, assuming that said fantasies involve helping a ramen shop owner get along with a stray cat.
Jack: you might wish to sit down or get into a hyperbaric chamber when you read this, because Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! also contains jazz^H^H^H^H soul^H^H^H^H ROCK AND ROLL, otherwise known as the devil's own music, which will drag our nation's children down to the depths of degradation. You saw what the Beatles did to a generation. This must not be repeated.
Mr. Thompson: if children import Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan from Japan, it will not only deprive deserving American retail stores of their business, it will lead directly to them becoming homicidal sex-addled crazy persons who disrespect their parents and defecate just anywhere they want to, in the streets or wherever. Some of them maybe on your porch.
Thus, I absolutely urge you to let every Congressperson know about Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! and make absolutely sure that HRH Hillary Rodham Clinton mentions it at least once a week at a press conference so that every single American person knows what it is, how severely it will fuck them up, and where you can buy it.
kthx
It's Chris Kohler. You might recognize my name; in the mornings when you wake up with your head in the toilet after intense sessions of vomiting caused by huffing rubber cement fumes out of a garbage bag, KOHLER is probably the first word you see, right there in block print above the bowl.
I'd like to call your attention to a dangerous video game that is rotting away the moral fiber, dietary fiber, fiber optics, and possibly even the Metamucil brand fiber beverages of our nation's young people. I demand -- nay, I SUGGEST STRONGLY -- that you focus the entire energy of your brain to calling the public's attention to this video game.
It is called Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! and it is available for the Nintendo DS. As you might imagine, if you say Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! into a cassette player then play it backwards, you will quite clearly hear the phrase "Columbine Times One Thousand." I mean you personally will hear this because of all the rubber cement.
You will be shocked and appalled to learn that Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! has not even been rated by the ESRB so God knows what is in there. From exhaustive research on the Internet I have determined that some of its characters are under the age of eighteen years old, which allows child molesters to enact their fantasies in the virtual world, assuming that said fantasies involve helping a ramen shop owner get along with a stray cat.
Jack: you might wish to sit down or get into a hyperbaric chamber when you read this, because Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! also contains jazz^H^H^H^H soul^H^H^H^H ROCK AND ROLL, otherwise known as the devil's own music, which will drag our nation's children down to the depths of degradation. You saw what the Beatles did to a generation. This must not be repeated.
Mr. Thompson: if children import Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan from Japan, it will not only deprive deserving American retail stores of their business, it will lead directly to them becoming homicidal sex-addled crazy persons who disrespect their parents and defecate just anywhere they want to, in the streets or wherever. Some of them maybe on your porch.
Thus, I absolutely urge you to let every Congressperson know about Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! and make absolutely sure that HRH Hillary Rodham Clinton mentions it at least once a week at a press conference so that every single American person knows what it is, how severely it will fuck them up, and where you can buy it.
kthx
