Now now gang. Don't freak out. The X360 controller that was sacrificed was a open box Joytech brand "NEO Se" wired one I found at Best buy for $19. And Spueaky is my old Saturn arcade pad that developed that annoying trait way back when a piece of plastic bit broke off inside.
I was just trying to go cheap to get a proper arcade stick made for the X360 since X360 wireless controller's D-pad is utter shit for fighting games. I had just forgotten how squeaky my Saturn pad was. I think I will find some used arcade cabinet parts and use that instead. We're just glad that this proof of concept actually works like I thought it would.