Our reviews guy for Get On Da Mic:
Uh-huh, uh-huh, huh-huh-huh...
So we got sent this game from the folk at Eidos,
"that's totally inane" said the bloke who's my Boss,
scratching his mane, he was looking at a right loss,
"You deal with this, cos this is your sort of type of..."
"Well, no actually..." and he let off a sly cough,
before he carried on and said that I was just a snide toff,
"but it's true you like hip-hop, it's called Get On Da Mic,
so turn on the new flip-top and then get on and type!"
I reckoned I might, so I forgot all the hype
to objectively write... (and because there wasn't really any)
cos this game is the type sold a tenner less a penny,
when the Christmas rush has ended and the sales start getting messy,
I mean, rap karaoke? that's hardly saying "get me"
Get On Da Mic? Right, well, SPOnGs giving it a D grade,
Shell out for this game, and youre the one whos being played,
If youve got an office party youll get the lagered ones to be swayed,
But everybody else will wonder why this game has been made.
And anyway, I bet the game won't sell to fans of the music,
Eidos got the right to massive tracks, and have seemingly abused it,
with these shite wack cover versions - and not the popular true hits
although it does mean that granny's rapping might conceivably improve it.
But the fundamental premise can be ripped up by the critics
The only point of rapping is to spit out your own lyrics,
So all this singing-along is evidently just a gimmick,
That no self-respecting MC would ever try and mimic.
Another clear issue is the ominous lack of swearing
Even though such a feature would obviously be daring
Fans will want to fling out cuss words whilst the backing tracks are blaring
Instead its censored up, and whilst we thank their caring,
Eidos has clearly never seen a real MC compering.
Get On Da Mic? Right, well, SPOnGs giving it a D grade,
Shell out for this game, and youre the one whos being played,
If youve got an office party youll get the lagered ones to be swayed,
But everybody else will wonder why this game has been made.
But in the end, it dont matter, cos the game cant really judge
If youve got the chatter or if youre just trying to fudge,
Your way through the verse with a meaningless sludge,
With a made up chorus that goes Hudge mudge pudge
So instead, the way it works it to gauge your verbal timing
By calculating how precisely you can arrange the rhyming
The sharpest consequently go and win some prize things
i.e. scrilla, wedge, loot, dead-prez funds with which to buy bling.
In its favour, better fun can be had with multiplayer
Especially against an aunt whos a fan of Leo Sayer,
But take away the booze and this game wont stand a prayer,
It has a novel touch but its nowhere near a stayer.
Another minor tweak that could have been a right joy
Is cross-compatibility for the Sony Eyetoy
So don those baggy jeans and lose the pokey tie. Oi!
throw V's up at the telly, nows your time to shine, boy.
Get On Da Mic? Right, well, SPOnGs giving it a D grade
Shell out for this game, and youre the one whos being played
If youve got an office party, youll get the lagered ones to be swayed
But everybody else will wonder why this game has been made.
This wont appeal to rap fans, rockers, teen-boppers or ravers
Theres just an ever-present taste of over-artificial flavours,
For those hoping for a jam-in-a-box, Eidos has betrayed us
And for those who like rapping a lot, this one must be waivered.
And a shout out to 1up for writing a review in verse,
But youve been 1upped by SPOnG, and will be leaving in a hearse,
Admittedly we had thought that we would be the first
To write a rhyming feature. But at least ours aint the worst.
And to our dear readers, this game isnt recommended,
The music-game divide still has not been transcended.
In the rare event you think that karaokes best and splendid
Only then is this watered down nonsense marginally less offensive.
Get On Da Mic? Right, well, SPOnGs giving it a D grade
Shell out for this game, and youre the one whos being played
If youve got an office party, youll get the lagered ones to be swayed
But everybody else will wonder why this game has been made.
And were out like that.
Peace.
SPOnG Rating: D
