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[olimario]

AMITYVILLE
First I want to say that, while I'm not big on horror movies, Amityville was very entertaining. It had an interesting underlying story that was aided by some superb acting from the two leads (The transition of the boyfriend was amazing). The special effects and creepy scenes were standard fare (

Spoiler

bleeding light bulbs and sockets, things moving too fast, etc...

), but they still worked well within the context of the movie.

The other thing I loved was that

Spoiler

the big evil was explained. When we hit Reel 5 (last 20 minutes of the movie) I wasn't expecting the movie to reveal who was behind everything, but I'm glad it did because I think the climax needed that.

I say people should go see it. The pacing is wonderful, the story is interesting, and it has enough visual flare to keep your eyes entertained. I don't think this would be a good DVD rental.


OLIMARIO ATE HIS SHIT
I was screening the movie with a friend of mine who has worked at Cinemark for a few years and he was showing me what to look for to make sure the film was in good condition. To help the learning process, he left a hot splice in Reel 4. When you see one you have to run back to the booth as fast as possible in order to catch it and correct it without going back through layers and layer of film.

So we see it and go bolting... me in my new, slick shoes.
We round the corner at the end of the hallway into a minor concession foyer with a tile floor. Little do I know it's just been covered in a stripping solution.

My foot hits the tile and gives out... My left elbow hits the ground...
and I make what looks like a slide into 2nd base 20 feet across this tile.
I hop up on the other end and keep running towards the stairs, but the cleaner called me back and told me that the solution had acid in it and that it would burn my skin if I didn't get it off.

I stripped down in the bathroom (and realized how good I look now) and started bathing in the sink. Chris, who is a few inches shorter than me and a couple more inches around, grabbed his change of clothes and brought it in. I finished the movie in sagging, high-water jeans and an XXL Fever Pitch shirt.

Oh... Best Slide Ever.

 

[Ned Flanders]

I stripped down in the bathroom (and realized how good I look now)

At this point I realized that the entirety of your post was just a big long setup for this one small part of the story. Inexplicably vain people are even sadder than voluntarily ignorant ones.

 

[olimario]

At this point I realized that the entirety of your post was just a big long setup for this one small part of the story. Inexplicably vain people are even sadder than voluntarily ignorant ones.

It was a jest, you loser.
Stop taking small comments so personally.

 

[demi]

I'm glad that thick head of yours absorbed most of the fall. Phew.















fake story

 

[Ned Flanders]

It was a jest, you loser.
Stop taking small comments so personally.

I don't take things personally. Especially when Yoda tells me you have a small penis.

"A small penis, has Oli."

 

[Sho Nuff]

I stripped down in the bathroom (and realized how good I look now)

AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I NEVER POST IN THE OFFTOPIC FORUMS

 

[Days like these...]

At this point I realized that the entirety of your post was just a big long setup for this one small part of the story. Inexplicably vain people are even sadder than voluntarily ignorant ones.

That and his new slick shoes! We all know what this thread requires.....









PICS!










P.S. Preferably without cock

 

[evil ways]

It was a jest, you loser.
Stop taking small comments so personally.

Don't sweat it, Ned is GAF's certified shrink. His job is to overanalyze people and come up with his own conclussions.

 

[levious]

so Chris is a few inches shorter but a couple more inches around huh? You guys would make quite the porn duo.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

It's yet another useless Olimario thread!

 

[belgurdo]

Every time I see threads like this I think back to the myriad "OT is better than the gaming forum!" discussions...and I just wonder

 

[Zelda-Bitch]

Isn't this movie done by the same guy who did the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake (which was awesome btw)? I 'm thinking of seeing it on that fact alone.

 

[olimario]

Isn't this movie done by the same guy who did the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake (which was awesome btw)? I 'm thinking of seeing it on that fact alone.

Yeah it is. I never saw TCM, but the two guys who saw Amityville with me said they liked it about the same, though they were quite different.

 

[Zelda-Bitch]

I liked it enough to buy the special edition DVD the day it released. It doesn't have the same "snuff" video quality of the first one, but it's one of my favorite newer horror movies and a very worthy remake. It starts off a little shaky (first half hour or so), but gets REAL good. It's worth a rent at least, but I would suggest even buying it. All I can say is the Sheriff is the best villian EVER. ; )

 

[olimario]

I liked it enough to buy the special edition DVD the day it released. It doesn't have the same "snuff" video quality of the first one, but it's one of my favorite newer horror movies and a very worthy remake. It starts off a little shaky (first half hour or so), but gets REAL good. It's worth a rent at least, but I would suggest even buying it. All I can say is the Sheriff is the best villian EVER. ; )

That's the story I keep hearing. It's a different beast from the original, but still very good.
The thing about Amityville is that it's a good, intriguing movie if you strip out all of the horror parts. The fact that it's based on a true story is even cooler. I'm never purchasing a house from the late 1600s.



EATING SHIT UPDATE
I have a small burn on my elbow and a huge bruise on the top of my leg that hurts when I walk.
I still hold that it was worth it, though, because really... It was a badass slide. Chris was like "DUDE... I wanted to be like, 'Oh shit! somebody get help!', but I couldn't... All I could think was, 'That was way too badass'.".

 

[Foreign Jackass]

The TCM remake is complete shit. An MTV-caliber videoclip, not much more.

 

[olimario]

The TCM remake is complete shit. An MTV-caliber videoclip, not much more.

You're the only person I've encountered who feels this way. Most will agree it's not of the same artistic value of the first, but it's a nice update and has some really great horror effects.

My friend Nate told me that they stripped the original of some of the good storytelling and they added a bunch of modern horror aspects, but that it was still a fun movie to watch.

 

[Belfast]

I stripped down in the bathroom (and realized how good I look now) and started bathing in the sink.

Is it OK if I masturbated to this?

 

[Alucard]

Did the movie have Olipenis?

 

[Gantz]

So it's as bad as House of Wax? :lol

 

[Zelda-Bitch]

The TCM remake is complete shit. An MTV-caliber videoclip, not much more.

eh whatever. I'm a huge horror movie buff and went in to it thinking it would be complete shit (the original is my favorite horror movie ever bw). Anyway, i was pleasently surprised. Like I said, it did start off a little shakey and I had the same MTVish feeling at first. However, that was only for the first 30min or so and it wasn't even that bad. The rest of the movie was completely awesome. Tons of tension and an all around excellent movie. Trust me Oli, if you like horror you will enjoy it very much.

 

[Spectral Glider]

The TCM remake is ok, also not as bad as I thought it would be. It is better than some of the recent cheesy knockoffs, like Wrong Turn. It does cut out some cool ideas from the original though. And, more importantly, what it lacks from the original is that constant unsettling feeling. They try to create it with the dirty look of the film, but for some reason it doesn't come across the same.

 

[Dan]

I still hold that it was worth it, though, because really... It was a badass slide. Chris was like "DUDE... I wanted to be like, 'Oh shit! somebody get help!', but I couldn't... All I could think was, 'That was way too badass'.".

Sorry buddy, there's is absolutely nothing "badass" about tripping, slipping, falling on your face, or any combination of the previous actions. Ever.

 

[AssMan]

Can I get a different opinion here on the movie? Nothing new is out this weekend and I don't feel like sitting at home on a Saturday.

 

[Spectral Glider]

Sorry buddy, there's is absolutely nothing "badass" about tripping, slipping, falling on your face, or any combination of the previous actions. Ever.

True. Besides, it's not as funny as when I worked at GCC (before the relics there finally decided to computerize the ticket sales) and one of my fellow doormen slipped on popcorn butter that was spilled by one of the concession lackies. Down the steps he went along with the 6 or 7 metal cases filled with the evening tickets. I helped him roll the tickets back up but I laughed the whole time while doing so.....if only because this guy was one of the dudes who thought his image was nothing but "cool." Hey, kinda like this guy, I guess. Must be the reason why they're the ones that end up on their backs.

 

[shuri]

Amityville is pretty much crap from impressions I've read. Also rotten tomatoes has it ranked at 42%

 

[olimario]

Sorry buddy, there's is absolutely nothing "badass" about tripping, slipping, falling on your face, or any combination of the previous actions. Ever.

It didn't look like a slip, though. I ran full speed and turned it into a long slide from which I hopped up from instead of coming to a stop and slowly getting up.
The guys who saw it said it looked planned which is why one of the cleaning guys was mad until I explained what had happened.


Amityville is a good, midnless, well-paced horror flick to go watch with a friend in the theatre. It also has the extra dynamic of not only being a true story, but an interesting one at that.

 

[Dan]

It didn't look like a slip, though. I ran full speed and turned it into a long slide from which I hopped up from instead of coming to a stop and slowly getting up.
The guys who saw it said it looked planned which is why one of the cleaning guys was mad until I explained what had happened.

So now you're telling me that there's something "badass" about planning a slide while sprinting through a movie theater in order to correct a mistake you purposefully put in the reel? Get the fuck out of here. The only adjectives that can possibly be used to describe this scenario are goofy, clumsy, retarded and geeky. If it was unplanned, you looked really silly. If it was planned, you're an ass and a retard. "Badass" doesn't figure into it.

The only way sliding through a movie theater foyer is if it's in a John Woo movie, you're holding guns, the tile being's shot to bits as you cross it, and there are doves flying around in slow motion.

The only thing "badass" about the story is that the janitor uses some kind of acid to clean the floors.

It also has the extra dynamic of not only being a true story, but an interesting one at that.

*rolls eyes*

 

[olimario]

So now you're telling me that there's something "badass" about planning a slide while sprinting through a movie theater in order to correct a mistake you purposefully put in the reel? Get the fuck out of here. The only adjectives that can possibly be used to describe this scenario are goofy, clumsy, retarded and geeky. If it was unplanned, you looked really silly. If it was planned, you're an ass and a retard. "Badass" doesn't figure into it.

The only way sliding through a movie theater foyer is if it's in a John Woo movie, you're holding guns, the tile being's shot to bits as you cross it, and there are doves flying around in slow motion.

The only thing "badass" about the story is that the janitor uses some kind of acid to clean the floors.


*rolls eyes*

Dan... I don't have any reservations in saying that you're an absolute dick. When your friends tell your stories that happened while you weren't present do you automatically start trying to negate everything they've said? Do you spend your time picking apart every little part of their story to fit your inaccurate view of the event?

Just chill out. Not only did Chris say it looked badass, but the guy who was cleaning the floors came into the bathroom to make sure I was okay and told me that it was an awesome slide.

But no... I guess you know better. Last time I trust the unbiased views of an event by the people who witness that same event. LAST TIME!

 

[Blackace]

But no... I guess you know better. Last time I trust the unbiased views of an event by the people who witness that same event. LAST TIME!

I will be holding you to your promise...

 

[Dan]

When your friends tell your stories that happened while you weren't present do you automatically start trying to negate everything they've said? Do you spend your time picking apart every little part of their story to fit your inaccurate view of the event?

Sorry, I don't check my intelligence at the door when listening to people share stories. I call it like I see it and my friends would do the same to me. I'm not sure why anyone wants to hang with tools that take everything they hear at face value.

 

[olimario]

Sorry, I don't check my intelligence at the door when listening to people share stories. I call it like I see it and my friends would do the same to me. I'm not sure why anyone wants to hang with tools that take everything they hear at face value.

No, Dan, you call it like you didn't see it. That's the problem here.

 

[Dan]

You are correct. I didn't see it. Instead, I was told that while you were running to correct an intentional error in the film, you slipped and hit your elbow hard in some acidic cleaning solution. Then you slid across the movie theater foyer, sprung up, got yelled at by the janitor and had to change your clothes. Okay, I can buy that. It's believable. Except that jump to the event being "badass" but hey, whatever, you did claim that the other people at the theater are complete idiots compared to you, so maybe your clumsy goof was truly impressive to them.

It's not "badass". Sounds more like one of Robot Chicken's bloopers. "Hey viewers, watch this guy slip and slide in the foyer. Oh snap, it was acid! Haha. Oh, that darn janitor."

 

[olimario]

You are correct. I didn't see it. Instead, I was told that while you were running to correct an intentional error in the film, you slipped and hit your elbow hard in some acidic cleaning solution. Then you slid across the movie theater foyer, sprung up, got yelled at by the janitor and had to change your clothes. Okay, I can buy that. It's believable. Except that jump to the event being "badass" but hey, whatever, you did claim that the other people at the theater are complete idiots compared to you, so maybe your clumsy goof was truly impressive to them.

It's not "badass". Sounds more like one of Robot Chicken's bloopers. "Hey viewers, watch this guy slip and slide in the foyer. Oh snap, it was acid! Haha. Oh, that darn janitor."

Stop stating your baseless opinion as fact. I was just trying to share a story and you have to turn half this thread into debate spawned from the fact that you're a dick.

 

[CajoleJuice]

I have a better falling/tripping story.

In 7th grade art class, we were making paper mache masks, and each table had a huge can of paper mache formula? (It's like that jizz-like substance that you use) And I said to my friends, how funny would it be if I pretended to slip and spill this huge can all over? My friends agreed to give me 5 bucks to do it.

I got up to go to the sink to empty the can, and on the way, I did a whole scene of pretending to lose grip on the can, and I dropped it...

And I proceeded to step right into the slippery pile on the floor, making me slip and fly maybe 2 feet in the air (my friends said I was horizontal in the air) and land right in the huge pile, making me appear as if I just ejaculated all over myself.

I had to wear my gym clothes for the rest of the school day.

 

[Lathentar]

The Drafthouse in Austin is showing The Amityville Horror in a room filled with 25,000 flies. Ryan Reynolds is going to be there as well.

 

[olimario]

The Drafthouse in Austin is showing The Amityville Horror in a room filled with 25,000 flies. Ryan Reynolds is going to be there as well.

Drafthouse kicks ass. I wouldn't want flies in a room with my food, though.

 

[sefskillz]

I can't believe people are calling themselves "horror buffs" and saying they liked the TCM remake in this thread. That movie was trash. Anyways, I want to know what some of these horror buff's favorite horror flicks are.. or where their interests in horror subgenre's lie... because I can't make sense of this TCM remake appreciation.

 

[Lil' Dice]

Olimario would probably suck his own dick if he was minus his bottom two ribs....

 

[WordAssassin]

As long as we're all telling our "I fell and ate shit hard" stories I have a pretty good one.
Some time ago, back in high school, I had to use the bathroom while class was in session. So I got the OK from the teacher and I just bolted as fast as I could to the bathroom. My class was on the second story of the school, and I had to go down a really long flight of steps to get to the pisser.

So I'm running down these steps at full speed, and about halfway down, there's this one really long step (as in, it goes outwards about three step's length, to even out the staircase.) And I'm bolting down these steps, and I hit the really long step, and I like, I'm going so fast I fucking launch off the step as if it's a ramp, and I just am flying through the air down the stairs. And I'm thinking, "Oh, God dammit, this is going to hurt so bad." And I touch down on the second or third to last step, and I land hard on my right foot and twist my whole body around, slam into the double doors hard enough to push them open, tumble out of the stairwell, down ANOTHER set of maybe three to five stairs, and come to rest on a ramp.

Knocked the wind right out of me, holy shit. I was so glad there was nobody around to see it. I jumped right up and limped into the bathroom as if nothing'd happened.

I think it's the fact that I ate it so fucking hard that makes this an awesome story that I love to tell. People are always like, "Dude, holy shit, that's crazy."

 

[olimario]

As long as we're all telling our "I fell and ate shit hard" stories I have a pretty good one.
Some time ago, back in high school, I had to use the bathroom while class was in session. So I got the OK from the teacher and I just bolted as fast as I could to the bathroom. My class was on the second story of the school, and I had to go down a really long flight of steps to get to the pisser.

So I'm running down these steps at full speed, and about halfway down, there's this one really long step (as in, it goes outwards about three step's length, to even out the staircase.) And I'm bolting down these steps, and I hit the really long step, and I like, I'm going so fast I fucking launch off the step as if it's a ramp, and I just am flying through the air down the stairs. And I'm thinking, "Oh, God dammit, this is going to hurt so bad." And I touch down on the second or third to last step, and I land hard on my right foot and twist my whole body around, slam into the double doors hard enough to push them open, tumble out of the stairwell, down ANOTHER set of maybe three to five stairs, and come to rest on a ramp.

Knocked the wind right out of me, holy shit. I was so glad there was nobody around to see it. I jumped right up and limped into the bathroom as if nothing'd happened.

I think it's the fact that I ate it so fucking hard that makes this an awesome story that I love to tell. People are always like, "Dude, holy shit, that's crazy."

No shit... Holy shit...

 

[Suerte]

:lol

*shakes head*

I hate dem gays.

 

[xsarien]

I can't believe people are calling themselves "horror buffs" and saying they liked the TCM remake in this thread.

Well, I'll argue that you can be a "horror buff" and still find something to enjoy even in the trashiest of horror movies, and the lamest of remakes. The thing about Amityville Horror is that the first movie isn't very good either, so there's not a lot for the new one to screw up.

 

[Days like these...]

Most horror movies aren't really scary... So what are the requirements/qualifications needed to call oneself a "horror buff"? Being an elitist geek who HATES everything? TCM remake was good I enjoyed it. Amtyville Horror remake...........Not so much

 

[Boomer]

Well I saw Amityville last night with a chick, and a movie has never scared me so bad in my life. Jumping like a little girl was embarrassing, especially since I jumped more than my date.

 

[El Papa]

:lol Awsome story WordAssasin. Something like that happened to me, but with a twist.

I was at my ex-girlfriend's apartment. We were upstairs and just leaving for somewhere. Her room was right next to the L-shaped stairs that lead down to the living room/kitchen. So we leave her room, I'm feeling giddy, so I take a quick step and launch myself off the top step planning to land on the square area about 8 feet or so down where the last 4 or 5 stairs turn down into the living room. Just as I am airborn, as soon as I set sail in the air, my ex turns the lights off. It was night. I'm soaring through air in pitch blackness with no idea where to land. It seems I was flying forever, then suddenly my foot thouches ground and twists, I hurdled forward smashing myself into the wall and collapsing in a heap. The she turned the lights on and goes, "What happened?". I was like, "Why the hell did you turn the lights off?!" She said she didn't know I was going to jump and we both started laughing, even though it felt like the Hulk picked up a wall and swatted me with it. I had to lie there for a minute and recover. It was pretty damn hilarious.

 

[Boomer]

:lol Awsome story WordAssasin. Something like that happened to me, but with a twist.

I was at my ex-girlfriend's apartment. We were upstairs and just leaving for somewhere. Her room was right next to the L-shaped stairs that lead down to the living room/kitchen. So we leave her room, I'm feeling giddy, so I take a quick step and launch myself off the top step planning to land on the square area about 8 feet or so down where the last 4 or 5 stairs turn down into the living room. Just as I am airborn, as soon as I set sail in the air, my ex turns the lights off. It was night. I'm soaring through air in pitch blackness with no idea where to land. It seems I was flying forever, then suddenly my foot thouches ground and twists, I hurdled forward smashing myself into the wall and collapsing in a heap. The she turned the lights on and goes, "What happened?". I was like, "Why the hell did you turn the lights off?!" She said she didn't know I was going to jump and we both started laughing, even though it felt like the Hulk picked up a wall and swatted me with it. I had to lie there for a minute and recover. It was pretty damn hilarious.

:lol :lol she turned them off cause she saw you jump

 

[Cosmic Bus]

Can I get a different opinion here on the movie?

It's generic garbage, somehow managing to include virtually every horror cliché imaginable, and then somehow gets even worse by attempting to actually explain the entity within the house.

Spoiler

An Indian torture chamber under the house, and some nutjob who offs himself so his Evil Presence? will continue to live on in the building? What the fuck?! :lol :lol Bonus points to the idiot production team for building an underground chamber with windows that have light shining in through them. *baffled* Where was the light coming from?! Or maybe people out on the lawn just assumed they were portals into a dank, blood-stained children's playroom. Yes.

It's so far gone from the original, which itself is hardly a horror classic (in terms of quality, at least), but they knew better than to make up some laughable reasoning behind the effects of the house. Philip Baker Hall even shows up to briefly embarass himself in another ridiculous departure, apparently as a Father Merrin-meets-Bob Villa of exorcism.

There isn't a single scary moment in the film, assuming you've watched any genre pic from the past ten years. OMG, a little ghost child! Creepy reflections in the windows! Lightning flashes! *squeal*

Awful, awful movie.

 

[olimario]

overanalyzing
Everyone I know who has seen it, film buffs or not, have enjoyed it. Nobody thinks the movie is pioneering new ground or doing new things, but innovation isn't needed in order to have an enjoyable, well-paced movie.

Amityville entertained where other horror movies couldn't even gain my interest. I would watch it again and I would possibly purchase the DVD when it comes out.

 

[border]

At this point I realized that the entirety of your post was just a big long setup for this one small part of the story. Inexplicably vain people are even sadder than voluntarily ignorant ones.

The Staminator accuses people of vanity? :lol