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[Escape Goat]

Take Jessica's experience, for example. She thought she knew what she was getting into with her first date. "The date seemed so promising," says Jessica, 26, from Washington, DC. "He was 30 and established in his job. I thought he'd be a welcome relief from the postcollege flaky guys I'm usually exposed to. We were watching TV when he went in for a smooch. I wasn't in the mood for that -- first date and all -- so I gently rebuffed him." A few moments later, he reached across Jessica to grab his soda from the table. "But instead of drinking from it, he stuck his finger into it and poked his now-wet finger into my right ear," Jessica recalls. "I was shocked, not having experienced a wet Willie since the age of 7, so I turned away to compose myself -- at which point he reached down my pants and yanked up my undies. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'd received a wedgie. Needless to say, I'd overestimated his maturity, and didn't go out with him again."

"My girlfriend was raving about how great this guy was, so I agreed to have dinner with him. He told me he had just bought a little house, and invited me back for dessert. I thought that was nice. As we ate dessert in the living room, he gave me a funny look. Then he smiled, and I saw he was missing one front tooth. I tried to smile politely, but he held up the [missing] tooth in his hand and said, 'It's fake! You couldn't tell!' I don't think I would have minded the fake tooth, but I didn't need it shown to me -- nor did I need him to ask, 'Can I kiss you? If you run your tongue through the hole, I'll bet it'll feel really weird.' No... no thanks."

"I was on a first date with this guy, and we were having Mexican food. Yum, right? Yes, until he decided to move in for a smooch -- and pushed a Jalapeno pepper from his mouth into mine. What was that, his special move? Thank you very much, Zorro!

This guy took me out for sushi. Yay. But it turned out to be an all-you-can-eat joint. Boo. If there's one thing I think you shouldn't cheap out on, it's raw fish. I stuck to the safe stuff, but he ate enough for me, him, and the next table -- then disappeared for 40 minutes. I wasn't sure what to do. Finally, he returned, belt in hand, and recounted (a) that he had an attack of diarrhea, (b) that the bathroom had a mirror so he was able to watch this diarrhea happen, and (c) that he had taken off the aforementioned belt so he could feel more comfortable. That was all I needed to hear, really -- domestic details like that should be saved for after marriage, I think. Maybe even for after divorce."

:lol :lol

 

[Troidal]

What is this from? Match.com?

Internet dating just doesn't work right. LOL

 

[EdLuva]

:lol

 

[Escape Goat]

I forgot teh funny with the first one. Edited now.

 

[SickBoy]

Heh... truly was the worst quote evar. I was like, WTF? What's the deal with this one, did she think he was going to kiss her but he really wanted a drink or something? Is grabbing your soda a bad sign in some parts of the world?

-SB

 

[Mugen]

:lol That couldn't be real.

 

[Doth Togo]

These stupid men deserve to be single. Anyone with such bad game should stay home with their mothers.

 

[demon]

This guy took me out for sushi. Yay. But it turned out to be an all-you-can-eat joint. Boo. If there's one thing I think you shouldn't cheap out on, it's raw fish. I stuck to the safe stuff, but he ate enough for me, him, and the next table -- then disappeared for 40 minutes. I wasn't sure what to do. Finally, he returned, belt in hand, and recounted (a) that he had an attack of diarrhea, (b) that the bathroom had a mirror so he was able to watch this diarrhea happen, and (c) that he had taken off the aforementioned belt so he could feel more comfortable. That was all I needed to hear, really -- domestic details like that should be saved for after marriage, I think. Maybe even for after divorce."

:lol

 

[Cimarron]

Fukin bitch said she wouldn't tell anyone... =(

 

[Spainkiller]

Those girls sound well uptight. Fuck them.

 

[pnjtony]

Those girls sound well uptight. Fuck them.

perhaps, but maybe you're just a hillbilly...those guys are messed up but I wouldn't blame internet dating, you can find the same creeps at clubs and bars all across this great nation.

 

[Wellington]

Fukin bitch said she wouldn't tell anyone... =(

:lol :lol :lol :lol!

I don't think I've had a bad date yet, thank God.

... well from my point of view, at least.

 

[Lathentar]

I once took a chick out for dinner and bowling. She apparently wasn't feeling too well. We ate at a mexican food resturant where she proceeded to eat about 1/4th the food and as I opened the car door to let her in she decided that the food she ate would look good in, on and around my car. Obviously I helped her clean up, then I took her home and was scarred for awhile after that.

Boy was that a fun night!

 

[Spainkiller]

perhaps, but maybe you're just a hillbilly...those guys are messed up but I wouldn't blame internet dating, you can find the same creeps at clubs and bars all across this great nation.

The false tooth trick sounds like a killer line though! Maybe it's the girls I hang around with. They know how to have a laugh

 

[Dice]

If girls tell guys to be themself, they should be prepared for the consiquences.

 

[DarienA]

What is this from? Match.com?

Internet dating just doesn't work right. LOL

Oh goodie it's the anti-internet dating shit again.