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Bill Simmons new blog on.... Jeopardy Guy!

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C

calder

Member
The Summer of the Jeopardy Guy
By Bill Simmons

Editor's Note: This column appears in the August 2 edition of ESPN The Magazine.

"Jeopardy!" answer: he dutifully followed the game show exploits of a grating software engineer from Salt Lake City.

"Jeopardy!" question: who is ... aw, forget it. It's me, okay? I'm obsessed with the Jeopardy Guy. Watching this Mormon assassin emerge as the MJ of nerds has been the highlight of my summer. He's earned the coveted No.1 spot on my TiVo Season Pass, as well as acronym status: the Sports Gal and I refer to him as the JG. I wish I were kidding. Watching him pocket a million-plus during his astounding 35-game winning streak -- still going as I write this -- we alternately revered him and hoped Alex Trebek would punch him in the face.

Yes, he's a smarmy know-it-all with the personality of a hall monitor, the kind of guy everyone hides from at a Christmas party. But he has "it" -- that indefinable quality you have when you know you're good, when you're in the zone and taking everyone for a ride. The '86 Celts had it. They toyed with teams before ripping their hearts out, Temple of Doom style. The JG does too. Not since the pre-nanny Tiger has somebody laid the smack down like this. He doesn't beat people, he dismantles them.

There's something comforting about seeing the JG's smiling, Stepford mug every night, and the way he shakes his head in disbelief as Trebek announces his absurd money total. (Of course, the number should be higher. Isn't this streak 10 times more impressive than someone rattling off 10 answers on Regis' Millionaire show?) Maybe he's boring; maybe he's unlikable. But like the truly great ones, he raises his game when it matters. Who else can you count on to do that these days?

I can remember him being tested only once in the past month. On June 25, a bald musician named Michael pulled within $200 near the end of Round 2. It was like seeing Douglas whistling jabs at Tyson. The normally unflappable Trebek pulled a Kevin Harlan, yelping, "We got a game!"

Not for long. The JG calmly padded his lead heading into commercial, then fended the bald guy off in Final Jeopardy. Definitely an ESPN Classic moment. As we awaited his final answer (What is leprosy?), the JG stared into the camera like Stephen A. Smith, playing up the drama before breaking into an exaggerated Dr. Evil smile when the correct response was revealed. As always, the Sports Gal summed up everyone's feelings: "I hope he gets eaten by a tiger."

He chugged along untouched for the next three weeks, nailing every category imaginable, TV's version of DiMaggio. Searching for challenges, the JG honed some annoying ploys, including expressing doubt when he responds (you know, to raise everyone's hopes before dashing them); adding drawings to Final Jeopardy answer cards (like Jimmy Carter's front teeth); and his "Oh, what the heck?" arrogance during Daily Doubles, when he says stuff like, "I don't know the first thing about the history of nuclear fusion in Croatia ... I better wager just $9,500." There hasn't been a villain this good since Billy Zabka. Even Alex seems to enjoy him; their dorky Ali-Cosell routine is funnier than any sitcom.

At this point, the JG is doing everything but making cell phone calls or throwing in a load of laundry during the show, as he goads opponents into taking crazy risks. Last Thursday, a competitor named Tom wagered all but $200 of his $6,200 nest egg on a Daily Double. You do that when you're going against the best. It's like bunting to break up a Koufax perfect game. Tom heard the question, hemmed and hawed, winced a few times, then threw out a "guess" ... and nailed it. Uh-oh. That's the JG's move. This was like John Starks sticking out his tongue and dunking on MJ. Certain lines should not be crossed. Even Alex's voice hushed.

You can guess what happened next. Trailing by $1,400 with half the board remaining, the JG rolled up the sleeves of his professor's jacket and went to work: six straight answers for six grand. When a flustered Tom botched the next one, the JG answered it correctly, exhaling for good measure. By the end of the second round, he'd tripled Tom's total, practically preening as they headed into commercial. The lesson, as always: don't wake up a sleeping corduroy giant.

Will the JG ever lose? I see it ending like Gagne's save streak -- a close game, then some sort of fluke and everyone standing around in disbelief. Either that, or one of the other contestants pummels him to death. "I can't even look at him anymore," the Sports Gal hissed last week. "His face is so punchable." But isn't that the point? We need villains, even if they come in the form of a wispy computer geek.

That's why I will always remember the summer of the JG.
Click to expand...
LOL. Mormon assassin.
 
A

AirBrian

Member
At this point, the JG is doing everything but making cell phone calls or throwing in a load of laundry during the show, as he goads opponents into taking crazy risks. Last Thursday, a competitor named Tom wagered all but $200 of his $6,200 nest egg on a Daily Double. You do that when you're going against the best. It's like bunting to break up a Koufax perfect game. Tom heard the question, hemmed and hawed, winced a few times, then threw out a "guess" ... and nailed it. Uh-oh. That's the JG's move. This was like John Starks sticking out his tongue and dunking on MJ. Certain lines should not be crossed. Even Alex's voice hushed.

You can guess what happened next. Trailing by $1,400 with half the board remaining, the JG rolled up the sleeves of his professor's jacket and went to work: six straight answers for six grand. When a flustered Tom botched the next one, the JG answered it correctly, exhaling for good measure. By the end of the second round, he'd tripled Tom's total, practically preening as they headed into commercial. The lesson, as always: don't wake up a sleeping corduroy giant.
Click to expand...
LOL!!!
 
D

Dilbert

Member
Y'know, a friend of mine at work told me about Ken's streak, so I started watching Jeopardy! again to see how good this guy actually was. The truth is that he's FRIGHTENING -- no matter what the situation, he seems able to elevate his game to win. The one weakness he seems to have is Final Jeopardy!, since he gets a much lower percentage of those questions correct. If someone can take a lead into the final round...they have a shot at upsetting him. Otherwise, he's going to be on the show for a LONG time.

I keep wondering how the streak is going to end. This is TOTALLY a fantasy scenario, but see what you think: One day, after winning 40-50 matches, Ken just decides to end the streak. He is introduced as the champion (with his ridiculous total)...and for the entire game, he just STANDS there. Doesn't attempt to buzz, doesn't answer a question. Doesn't even write anything for Final Jeopardy! -- stands there stoic. Of course, afterwards, he refuses to answer any questions from the media -- just walks off with his winnings and leaves the reasons for ending the streak voluntarily as a mystery forever.

How frickin' legendary would THAT be?
 
A

Archaix

Drunky McMurder
"the JG"-best nickname this summer.

And, as I read this, I was watching jeopardy.

In the first round:
the JG hit $11,000 before ANYBODY ELSE RANG IN. When somebody else finally got a turn to speak, the exchange went:

Alex: "Art!"
Art: "Huh? Really? ... Madagascar.....OH, What is Madagascar"
 
M

MIMIC

Banned
Archaix said:
"the JG"-best nickname this summer.

And, as I read this, I was watching jeopardy.

In the first round:
the JG hit $11,000 before ANYBODY ELSE RANG IN. When somebody else finally got a turn to speak, the exchange went:

Alex: "Art!"
Art: "Huh? Really? ... Madagascar.....OH, What is Madagascar"
Click to expand...

lol
 
C

cvkpaladin

Member
Okay, so I started watching right now, not knowing what to expect. I say Goddamn this guy is too knowledgeable! WTF??? He missed a couple but the sheer amount of information he does know is crazy. He has like 20+ thousand while the other contestants have like 0 (lost to a daily double) and around 5 thousand. Thats fucking crazy. o_O
 
F

Fifty

Member
As Bill pointed out, it's a shame the guy isn't on the (Much easier) Who Wants to be a Millionaire. He would have won so much more money than what he has now..

there's something comforting about seeing the JG's smiling, Stepford mug every night, and the way he shakes his head in disbelief as Trebek announces his absurd money total. (Of course, the number should be higher. Isn't this streak 10 times more impressive than someone rattling off 10 answers on Regis' Millionaire show?)
Click to expand...
 
R

Ripclawe

Banned
Ken Jennings spoiler off of rec.arts.tv



http://groups.google.com/groups?q=k...f0tn77i7b0cglpl8hpvhjaslj9e2j4@4ax.com&rnum=1


They finished filming the current season in April. The last show of
the current season will air this Friday. At the end of that show, Ken
is still undefeated. Also, in April, they filmed the first ten shows
of next season. Those will start airing sometime in September. At the
end of the tenth show, Ken was STILL undefeated.

They will resume filming for next season in August. Ken will return as
the undefeated champion, and we'll see what happens then.

So your answer is - we still don't know when/if/how he'll be stopped.

Cathy
 
C

Chesapeake Silt

Member
I won't be satisfied until he notches THE PERFECT GAME. Answering every question correctly and holding both opponents to zero dollars. I think he could do it, too - he's a ninja with that buzzer.
 
B

belgurdo

Banned
quiz_show_ver1.jpg
 
D

DrForester

Kills Photobucket
While being smart is the key, this guy knows the trick.

he knows the subject well, he knows how the buzzer works. His way of playing is to just buzz in, and count on his memory to do the rest. If you watch, he does this unless it's a category he's unsure of. Few people can play this way, but it works for him. Also, he plays it safe. he rarely goes out on a limb with daily doubles or his final jeopardy wager. He also has the imtimidation factor going for him. You get on jeopardy, find out your going up against a 35 day champion. This guys i used to the show, so he's not nervous.


Gotta say though, this guy has a nice job now. Go in for an hour taping, leave with 30k. repeat for many days.


I say get ben stein on the show to put Ken in his place :)
 
M

Miguel

Member
Man, working for the past 3 weeks during the day has stopped my JG whoring. I'm back though! JG will live on forever!
 
M

MetatronM

Unconfirmed Member
I can't wait to return to the US and see this Jeopardy Guy in action. It sounds like Nerd Jesus has descended or something. :)
 
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