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[goodcow]

"Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you: In this particular cell block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we in the prison system call a 'bitch'. And one night in a jealous rage, Kelly took a make-shift knife, or 'shiv', and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities.....This way to the cafeteria."
John "Vicky" Johnson (Phil Hartman), So, I Married an Axe-Murderer (1993)

 

[Hooker]

I FUCK YOU IN THE ASS! I FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!!

 

[Error Macro]

EAT THE DOG DICK OF ANUBIS, YOU ASSWIPE!

 

[sefskillz]

Listen, you Malibu middle class Barbie piece of shit, I'm tryin' to work here. Work? You ever work? Yeah, I'll bet you have. Scoopin' ice cream to your shit-heel friends on summer break. Well I ain't talkin' about no goddamn white socks with Mickey Mouse on one side and Donald Duck on the other. I ain't readin' no funny books, mama. Our bodies come and go but this blood... is forever.

i like to say this around strangers at random, its a nice icebreaker.

 

[way more]

Hey guys. Big gulps huh? Well, see ya later

Say whenever you find a lull in coversation.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

"Step into my office...CAUSE YER FUCKIN FIRED!"