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[Afro Thunder]

Crazy

MP: Free university for virgins

Wednesday, July 20, 2005; Posted: 7:38 a.m. EDT (11:38 GMT)

KAMPALA, Uganda (Reuters) -- A Ugandan member of parliament has pledged to reward girls for their chastity by paying their university fees if they are virgins when they leave school, a local newspaper said on Wednesday.

Bbaale County MP Sulaiman Madada said any girl in his district who wanted to take part in the scheme aimed at promoting girls' education would be given a gynecological examination by health workers to check they were virgins.

"The criterion is that a student must be a virgin and from Kayunga district," he told the state-owned New Vision.

The MP did not extend his offer to young men.

He urged pupils to manage their lives responsibly, and called on parents to explain the threats from HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.

"Our children should be told the risks they face if involved in early and unprotected sex," Madada said.

Uganda was once seen as the epicenter of the global HIV epidemic, but a government education campaign has pushed down infection rates to around six percent from as high as 30 percent in some areas in the early 1990s.

Kayunga in central Uganda is home about 300,000 people, and researchers say it has one of the country's worst AIDS rates, with more than 80 percent of families losing at least one member to the disease.

 

[Boogie]

Now if only I were from Kayunga district... le sigh.....

 

[DarienA]

And who will be doing the virginity verifications?

 

[demi]

Uganda be kidding me!

 

[Tamanon]

Great idea in theory.

ULTIMATE cockblocking in practice.

 

[Nerevar]

in other news, the average weight of females at university in Uganda increased 30% last week.

 

[Jill Sandwich]

 

[goodcow]

Now if only I were from Kayunga district... le sigh.....

The MP did not extend his offer to young men.

Is there something we don't know about you?

 

[ToxicAdam]

((Applies for 'University Hymen Inspector" at the college))

 

[aoi tsuki]

in other news, the average weight of females at university in Uganda increased 30% last week.

Clever.

 

[Instigator]

I foresee the rise of oral and anal sex in that country.

 

[Jeffahn]

I foresee the rise of oral and anal sex in that country.

Beat me to it.

...

 

[akascream]

Where do I sign up for a staff position?

 

[BlackSalad]

Uganda be kidding me!

:lol

 

[akascream]

:lol

Subtle never wins! =(

 

[BlackSalad]

<3

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

I read that they are encouraging female genital mutilation (circumcision).

If this is what I think this is, then this is disgusting...

 

[Spastic Colon]

Will there be sphincter inspections too to make sure they haven't been trying to cheat the system?

 

[Boogie]

The MP did not extend his offer to young men.

Is there something we don't know about you?

Oh, just for girls, eh? I should be more careful in my reading :lol

 

[Squirrel Killer]

I read that they are encouraging female genital mutilation (circumcision).

Where do you read that? From the CNN article, this seems like a completely self-contained proposal.

If this is what I think this is, then this is disgusting...

Assuming that this doesn't involve female genital mutilation, given that "more than 80 percent of families losing at least one member to (AIDS)," I'd tend to think it's overall a positive effort, although unlikely to be successful. Of course, if it is tied to genital mutilation, I'd wholeheartly agree on the "disgusting" characterization.

Perhaps you're thinking of the recent study that indicated male circumcision reduced the risk of contracting AIDS...

 

[Minotauro]

Uganda be kidding me!

I really hate myself for laughing at this.

 

[ManDudeChild]

How would they check this exactly? I mean what if the girl's into horse riding, gymnastics, well you all get the idea.

 

[akascream]

How would they check this exactly? I mean what if the girl's into horse riding, gymnastics, well you all get the idea.

whore

 

[ManDudeChild]

whore

That wasn't what I meant.

 

[scorcho]

How would they check this exactly? I mean what if the girl's into horse riding, gymnastics, well you all get the idea.

you have a good point there. with their vibrant economy and fertile, green pastures, Uganda is known for their Olympic equestrian and ladies gymanstics squads. didn't they place 1st in Athens?

 

[MIMIC]

Uganda be kidding me!

:lol

 

[ManDudeChild]

you have a good point there. with their vibrant economy and fertile, green pastures, Uganda is known for their Olympic equestrian and ladies gymanstics squads. didn't they place 1st in Athens?

Ok. Maybe my examples sucks 31 flavors of anus, but the point still stands. There are many logical (non-sex) ways the doctor could make a screw up on the examination.

Uganda be kidding me!

BOOurns! :lol :lol

 

[FeedMeAStrayCat]

:lol

I'll join in. :lol :lol

 

[acidviper]

Where do I sign up for a staff position?

HTF are they supposed to check.

 

[Alcibiades]

there's an internal change that happens when a woman has sex for the first time I think... but I remember my biology teacher in HS telling me that some girls have it happen (even early in life) because of cheerleading or horseback riding...

so it's not like people can really know...

 

[whytemyke]

HTF are they supposed to check.

probably check for a hymen, I imagine.

though its gonna suck for the fat girl who gets fucked outta college cuz she fell on a fencepost.

And I imagine they can't really check for anal sex.
Doc: "click click dur click dur"
girl: "click dur chick click"
Doc: "Ahh ha ha ha haaa!"

 

[Loki]

you have a good point there. with their vibrant economy and fertile, green pastures, Uganda is known for their Olympic equestrian and ladies gymanstics squads. didn't they place 1st in Athens?

:lol

 

[FightyF]

Now if only I were from Kayunga district... le sigh.....

Funny that you didn't mention the fact that you failed the requirement that you had to be a woman...

...UNLESS...



BTW, Lemurs...just wondering...would you be eligible? I mean...y'know if you came from...*BANNED*

 

[Boogie]

Funny that you didn't mention the fact that you failed the requirement that you had to be a woman...

...UNLESS...

I don't let something silly like the facts of the article get in the way of making a self-deprecating joke

 

[Ned Flanders]

Interesting follow up article

MP: University program threatened

Friday, July 22, 2005; Posted: 6:358 a.m. EDT (10:35 GMT)

KAMPALA, Uganda (Reuters) -- A recent proposal by members of the Ugandan parliament to offer a free education at university for virgins has come under threat from political rivals who have sought out the aid of The Staminator.

In hopes of killing a proposal that they view as an unnecessary waste of tax dollars, opponents of the program have enlisted The Staminator as a means of deterring Bbaale County MP Sulaiman Madada from moving forward in implementing the scheme. His rivals claim that any further efforts to set the program in motion will force their hand in bringing The Staminator to Uganda, thereby threatening the virginity of all known females in the region and rendering the propsal impotent.

Madada expressed concern, noting, "We view The Staminator as a serious impediment to our program. Certainly no hymen is safe with him roaming our countryside. Not only would the women subsequently not qualify for the free university plan, but they would likely abandon all hopes of education in favor of the endless pleasure he can provide."

Reports of local Ugandan women pleading Madada to implement the proposal would seem to add credence to his rivals claims of widespread support in their opposition of his plan. The Staminator could not be reached for comment.

 

[scorcho]

:lol

 

[Naked Snake]

That pussy-inspector is gonna get rich fast from bribes.