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Figured it'd be a nice little release and good way to figure out what kind of maniacs we're all dealing with on here.
...........
When I was 15, I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. I'd been going to this specific camp for quite awhile, and I've always been the kind of "put yourself out there" type of person so I did my best to lightly annoy and become friends with the staff.
As I grew older, I was a counselor in training and I worked with basically the same group of kids the whole time (as they advanced a year, I'd get assigned to the next age group to follow along). I got along with all the kids fairly well, and I worked with the same pair of counselors to run the group. Let's call 'em Vee and James.
Vee and James were seeing each other, and were older than me by a good margin. Vee was 24 and James was 21 during the fun part of this story. They'd been together for at least two summers (I didn't really keep in touch with them outside of summer camp).
I was their counselor in training until I turned 14, and then these two broke up. And it was just Vee and me running the group. Over time Vee would confide a lot in me about the relationship, how she felt, what she was going through. She'd show me what she was working on in prep for the school year (she was a teacher). She was a bit of a tomboy and would always mess around with everyone, but she definitely wasn't sore on the eyes.
Cut to the next summer, and it's Vee and I running the group again. This year, things feel different. Vee is being a lot more flirtatious. We're all hanging out as a broader counselor group a lot outside of work, and Vee is driving me to and from camp (picking me up at my house).
One day on the bus...I don't even know how it happened or what was going on...but Vee put her hand in mine.
At this point in my life I'd only ever messed around with girls in a dumb kid way. Making out at parties or get togethers. Playing truth or dare. I'd had "girlfriends" a lot prior to this incident, but it was never actually anything serious. It'd essentially amount to us holding hands at school. Maybe getting a little frisky. But nothing serious.
And now here's this 24 year old woman holding my hand on a bus. And this launched what was ultimately my "first love". The rest of the summer we were just finding ways to sneak off and kiss. Staying late and talking and making out somewhere in the woods or in an empty secluded area. We'd find ways to see each other off-hours. Things never progressed super far sexually...there was one point where we probably would have gone all the way in her car, but we were parked on a street somewhere late at night and the house we were near flicked on their lights and freaked us out and she drove off.
...again, I was 15 at the time and she was 24. I'd never had a serious relationship before. I ultimately don't know what this all was to her, but she was telling me she loved me, and I was telling her I loved her. We talked about moving in together. We talked about possibly having kids. We talked about how we'd break this whole thing to her family and mine down the road.
When the summer was closing, it was like reality hit Vee all at once. She never voiced any of this, but in retrospect I can only imagine she quickly came to realize she was going back to her life as a teacher. We wouldn't have any excuse to see each other. How was she going to explain us still hanging out? What if someone found out and she lost her job? Oh shit, this is all illegal...
She cut me off, short and quick. She cut off communication to me completely. She wouldn't answer my calls, she ended up moving, she never had or created any kind of social media (then or now). This whole relationship lasted 3 months, but it gutted me.
I just remember I cried the hardest I've ever cried in my life (even still) that day. I went home, got in the shower and just did the ugliest and longest cry.
It took me over 6 months to get over her...and another relationship to pull my mind off of her. I attempted to reach out to her, left her voicemails, tried swinging by her house to find out she'd moved...I ultimately found her work email to send her a message saying that I was going to move on...which obviously freaked her the fuck out and she said never to contact her again.
I'd only really told my best friend at the time who worked with me at the camp and my sister back then. Otherwise I just kept all the confusion and emotion inside me forever.
I still think that relationship ultimately changed me completely. I matured in a way that I never really was before, so for that I'm thankful.
...
TLDR: Almost smashed with someone 9 years older than me when I was 15, loved her, shattered muh heart, cried like a bitch, became a better man.
...........
When I was 15, I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. I'd been going to this specific camp for quite awhile, and I've always been the kind of "put yourself out there" type of person so I did my best to lightly annoy and become friends with the staff.
As I grew older, I was a counselor in training and I worked with basically the same group of kids the whole time (as they advanced a year, I'd get assigned to the next age group to follow along). I got along with all the kids fairly well, and I worked with the same pair of counselors to run the group. Let's call 'em Vee and James.
Vee and James were seeing each other, and were older than me by a good margin. Vee was 24 and James was 21 during the fun part of this story. They'd been together for at least two summers (I didn't really keep in touch with them outside of summer camp).
I was their counselor in training until I turned 14, and then these two broke up. And it was just Vee and me running the group. Over time Vee would confide a lot in me about the relationship, how she felt, what she was going through. She'd show me what she was working on in prep for the school year (she was a teacher). She was a bit of a tomboy and would always mess around with everyone, but she definitely wasn't sore on the eyes.
Cut to the next summer, and it's Vee and I running the group again. This year, things feel different. Vee is being a lot more flirtatious. We're all hanging out as a broader counselor group a lot outside of work, and Vee is driving me to and from camp (picking me up at my house).
One day on the bus...I don't even know how it happened or what was going on...but Vee put her hand in mine.
At this point in my life I'd only ever messed around with girls in a dumb kid way. Making out at parties or get togethers. Playing truth or dare. I'd had "girlfriends" a lot prior to this incident, but it was never actually anything serious. It'd essentially amount to us holding hands at school. Maybe getting a little frisky. But nothing serious.
And now here's this 24 year old woman holding my hand on a bus. And this launched what was ultimately my "first love". The rest of the summer we were just finding ways to sneak off and kiss. Staying late and talking and making out somewhere in the woods or in an empty secluded area. We'd find ways to see each other off-hours. Things never progressed super far sexually...there was one point where we probably would have gone all the way in her car, but we were parked on a street somewhere late at night and the house we were near flicked on their lights and freaked us out and she drove off.
...again, I was 15 at the time and she was 24. I'd never had a serious relationship before. I ultimately don't know what this all was to her, but she was telling me she loved me, and I was telling her I loved her. We talked about moving in together. We talked about possibly having kids. We talked about how we'd break this whole thing to her family and mine down the road.
When the summer was closing, it was like reality hit Vee all at once. She never voiced any of this, but in retrospect I can only imagine she quickly came to realize she was going back to her life as a teacher. We wouldn't have any excuse to see each other. How was she going to explain us still hanging out? What if someone found out and she lost her job? Oh shit, this is all illegal...
She cut me off, short and quick. She cut off communication to me completely. She wouldn't answer my calls, she ended up moving, she never had or created any kind of social media (then or now). This whole relationship lasted 3 months, but it gutted me.
I just remember I cried the hardest I've ever cried in my life (even still) that day. I went home, got in the shower and just did the ugliest and longest cry.
It took me over 6 months to get over her...and another relationship to pull my mind off of her. I attempted to reach out to her, left her voicemails, tried swinging by her house to find out she'd moved...I ultimately found her work email to send her a message saying that I was going to move on...which obviously freaked her the fuck out and she said never to contact her again.
I'd only really told my best friend at the time who worked with me at the camp and my sister back then. Otherwise I just kept all the confusion and emotion inside me forever.
I still think that relationship ultimately changed me completely. I matured in a way that I never really was before, so for that I'm thankful.
...
TLDR: Almost smashed with someone 9 years older than me when I was 15, loved her, shattered muh heart, cried like a bitch, became a better man.
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