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[Stinkles]

Cowlitz! Wonder if they had a prior beef. I could milk this high steaks story all day.

http://www.seattlepi.com/news/us/ar...-running-over-officer-in-Longview-8477627.php

Angry cow killed after running over officer in Washington


LONGVIEW, Wash. (AP) — A cow that escaped a county fairgrounds in southern Washington was killed after it ran over an officer and its owner.

The Daily News in Longview reports (http://goo.gl/m5XBVW ) the cow somehow got out of the Cowlitz County Fairgrounds Tuesday afternoon and strode through Longview.

The farm animal, estimated to weigh 800 pounds, at some point charged out of a slough and ran over an officer who suffered a leg injury.

Longview Police Department patrol officer Mike Berndt says the cow then took off running. During an hour-long frenzy, it also ran over its juvenile owner, dented several patrol vehicles and ran into two other cars.

Police used a taser on the cow and then killed it with a shotgun in a residential yard.

And not to be the "shoot him in the leg" guy, but how hard is it to keep a cow alive and trapped in a yard? I actually don't know the answer. But I do know tazing it is ridiculous given its size. Although when I was a kid in Edinburgh a bull escaped from a truck and ran rampage down busy Gorgie Road. That was dark.

 

[SpaceWolf]

Thread title of forever.

 

[Link]

#bovinelivesmatter

 

[wesleyshark]

This is grazing the bottom, but it mooved me a little.

 

[kris.]

incredible title.

 

[Onemic]

Cop was like:

 

[Beren the Empty-Handed]

#bovinelivesmatter

Don't have a cow, man.

 

[Krakatoa]

The cow must have had a beef with the cop.

Great title!!

 

[freenudemacusers]

I dunno man... I, and 2 other dudes, had to wrestlefuck a pig into the back of the truck once and after about 20 minutes I was ready to set up a roasting pit. A cow? Fuuuuuuuuck that.

Also good to see my ol stomping grounds make the news.

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

gotta meet that shooting quota

 

[spindashing]

Wow, that title lmao

 

[Fury451]

OP is a work of art.

 

[Secret Character]

The greatest title of all threads. I mean, the story isn't very exciting, but that title...

 

[Stinkles]

I'm trying to imagine the chaos in someone's yard and with tazer, cow, shotgun blasts and farmers and cops running around, banjo music starts playing when I visualize it.

 

[clockworkinyou]

On the fritz from Cowlitz

 

[Beren the Empty-Handed]

had to wrestlefuck a pig

I think you're really hamming this up.

 

[boxter432]

pic of the officer:

I dunno man... I, and 2 other dudes, had to wrestlefuck a pig into the back of the truck once .

yikes.

 

[shira]

#bovinelivesmatter

waygu gotta say that?

 

[HeySeuss]

And not to be the "shoot him in the leg" guy, but how hard is it to keep a cow alive and trapped in a yard? I actually don't know the answer. But I do know tazing it is ridiculous given its size. Although when I was a kid in Edinburgh a bull escaped from a truck and ran rampage down busy Gorgie Road. That was dark.

Why is tazing it ridiculous? Have you ever touched an electric fence that holds cows and bulls in pens? The fences don't have nearly the amps or volts that a tazer puts out. The contacts probably didn't stick properly which caused the attempt to fail.

And they go where the fuck they want to go. You're not going keep a cow trapped in a yard if it doesn't want to be there. They're very powerful animals.

 

[weemadarthur]

I thought slough, in its meaning of swampy area, was pronounced slew. (And rhymes with tough when using its meaning of removing the surface). Am I wrong or is this just another word for the hard-to-pronounce thread?

 

[Coffee Dog]

#bovinelivesmatter

Ha ha ha, that sure is a joke

Do you think making fun of black lives matter is funny? It's not cool

 

[Sylas]

And not to be the "shoot him in the leg" guy, but how hard is it to keep a cow alive and trapped in a yard? I actually don't know the answer. But I do know tazing it is ridiculous given its size. Although when I was a kid in Edinburgh a bull escaped from a truck and ran rampage down busy Gorgie Road. That was dark.

Average weight of a female cow is 1,600 lbs. You ain't keepin' a cow where it doesn't wanna be unless you've built an enclosure for it. They're also stronger than they look and can get super, super mean.

 

[OnkelC]

I'm trying to imagine the chaos in someone's yard and with tazer, cow, shotgun blasts and farmers and cops running around, banjo music starts playing when I visualize it.

 

[PuppetSlave]

They don't have animal control where this happened? It says it went on for an hour as well.

 

[Orbis Tabula]

Put that title in the damn hall of fame.

 

[ThLunarian]

Raising the bar on thread titles, I see. This is "First post nails it" taken to the next level

 

[icy_eagle]

I dunno man... I, and 2 other dudes, had to wrestlefuck a pig into the back of the truck once and after about 20 minutes I was ready to set up a roasting pit. A cow? Fuuuuuuuuck that.

Also good to see my ol stomping grounds make the news.

Wrestlefuck, huh?

 

[Ultima_5]

Holy shit that title is amazing. Kudos op

 

[freenudemacusers]

Wrestlefuck, huh?

Pretty sure I got tea bagged by the pig at one point, so yes.

 

[| Praxis |]

Thought this was going to be about a UK hen party.

 

[LiK]

lol, nice title

 

[The Lamonster]

I had to read that title a couple times to understand it. Bravo lol

 

[Acorn]

Thought it was gonna be Slough in the uk.

Nothing ever happens in Slough in the uk.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

Fuck he's taken all the puns.

 

[Joe Spangle]

Thought it was gonna be Slough in the uk.

Nothing ever happens in Slough in the uk.

Me twooooo.

 

[Stinkles]

Yup more or less.

 

[XenodudeX]

What the meat?

What did they do with the meat?

 

[Stinkles]

I thought slough, in its meaning of swampy area, was pronounced slew. (And rhymes with tough when using its meaning of removing the surface). Am I wrong or is this just another word for the hard-to-pronounce thread?

Slow
Slo-ow!
Slew
And Sloff

Are all valid regional pronunciations.

 

[Just take it with you.]

I'd hate to be the one who had to notify the cow's next of kine.

 

[Ragnorok64]

What the meat?

What did they do with the meat?

I can't imagine they could do anything with the meat since it wasn't killed in a slaughterhouse. But I have no idea how this stuff works.

Wouldn't it's meat be terrible anyway since it spent the last hour running around in a high stress panic mode? Like, wouldn't there be lactic acid buildup in its muscles?

 

[Kilau]

incredible title.

Cecile Richards is a robot.

 

[rtcn63]

 

[Iorv3th]

Why is tazing it ridiculous? Have you ever touched an electric fence that holds cows and bulls in pens? The fences don't have nearly the amps or volts that a tazer puts out. The contacts probably didn't stick properly which caused the attempt to fail.

And they go where the fuck they want to go. You're not going keep a cow trapped in a yard if it doesn't want to be there. They're very powerful animals.

Yea but you wouldn't use a tazer on a cow it would just anger it. They make sticks that shock them to get then to move. But they are just a short shock to get then moving.

And why use a shotgun to kill a cow, total rookies.

I can't imagine they could do anything with the meat since it wasn't killed in a slaughterhouse. But I have no idea how this stuff works.

Wouldn't it's meat be terrible anyway since it spent the last hour running around in a high stress panic mode? Like, wouldn't there be lactic acid buildup in its muscles?

You mean like deer meat when a hunter shoots it but it doesn't die for another hour or so? Still good meat.

 

[weemadarthur]

Slow
Slo-ow!
Slew
And Sloff

Are all valid regional pronunciations.

Everyone is right!

Everyone here is right about that being a Good title.

I'd hate to be the one who had to notify the cow's next of kine.

This is good too.

 

[GifGafIsTheBestGaf]

first thing i thought lol