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[Schrödinger's cat]

Thread title should make this clear.

Please don't provide sensitive information, just the broad strokes.

Quote the person's day-in-my-life post when guessing their job title.

I'm looking forward to finding out which of you are genuine porn stars and which are just amateurs.

OK, go.

 

[mcz117chief]

I arrive at my work between 6:45-7:00 on most days. I check mails for new orders (as in, if somebody ordered anything). If I have no commissions for the day I study, prepare materials and brainstorm for new projects, do some graphics work in Photoshop (doing it right now) or whatever random jobs need to be done. If I have a commission that day I gather up my stuff, make sure I have everything I will need (check at least twice), coordinate with my coworkers and then go do it, alone or with a coworker. I leave for home at around 15:30 if there is no crunch.

 

[TaySan]

I arrive at work around 10PM-12AM traveling from client to client counting and weighing all alcohol. Beer, Liquor, wine, kegs etc. Work all night into the morning.

 

[deafmedal]

Strobes are too bright, fucks with my head. Lots of people smoke weed while driving in CA. I spend a lot of time in various odd states. Might work during the daytime, maybe nighttime. I troubleshoot, build things, drill lots of holes, send lots of emails, configure various devices and leave vehicles running for really long periods of time. I also drive in fucking circles a lot.

I oversee and teach. I spend a decent bit of time in the air. I regularly make fun of engineers. I am quite adept reading drawings and blueprints. My job provides a service that costs you money.

 

[West Texas CEO]

I arrive at work around 10PM-12AM traveling from client to client counting and weighing all alcohol. Beer, Liquor, wine, kegs etc. Work all night into the morning.

You're Charlie Sheen's personal shopper?

 

[Cunth]

I arrive at work around 10PM-12AM traveling from client to client counting and weighing all alcohol. Beer, Liquor, wine, kegs etc. Work all night into the morning.

Selling booze to teenagers out of a van?

 

[Elektro Demon]

I spend a lot of time up on roofs, hydraulic platforms and wooden poles.

 

[The Pleasure]

I spend a lot of time up on roofs, hydraulic platforms and wooden poles.

Erotoc pleasures salesman?

 

[Prison Mike]

I program something let it do its thing then empty out the job

 

[King of Foxes]

First thing is checking phone for texts if anyone is sick
Then check inbox and categorise emails
Forward emails to others in team if action needed
Check calendar for meetings
Arrange topics for daily team meeting
Check reconciliation reports from previous day
Meeting with department head
After that it depends on my emails

 

[The Scrivener]

I'm a glorified babysitter.

 

[Kadayi]

Kad
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. I use the side
door, that way [redacted] can't see me. Uh, and after that, I just sorta
space out for about an hour.

GAF
Space out?

Kad
Yeah. I just stare at my desk but it looks like I'm working. I do that
for probably another hour after lunch too. I'd probably, say, in a
given week, I probably do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work.

GAF
Uh, kad, would you be a good sport and indulge us and tell us a
little more?

Kad
Let me tell you something about Timesheets...'

 

[Slings and Arrows]

Strobes are too bright, fucks with my head. Lots of people smoke weed while driving in CA. I spend a lot of time in various odd states. Might work during the daytime, maybe nighttime. I troubleshoot, build things, drill lots of holes, send lots of emails, configure various devices and leave vehicles running for really long periods of time. I also drive in fucking circles a lot.

I oversee and teach. I spend a decent bit of time in the air. I regularly make fun of engineers. I am quite adept reading drawings and blueprints. My job provides a service that costs you money.

Architect or rent boy. (lots of drilling holes) which I assume is in public toilets

 

[eddie4]

Wake up, grab some coffee, breakfast, sit at my desk at around 8:30ish.
Respond to alerts, emails.
Check schedule, releases.
Perform required tasks depending on what's requested.
Lunch is in there somewhere, whenever.
Watch TV/browse GAF simultaneously.
Done around 4:30ish.
After work, do whatever.

 

[eddie4]

Kad
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. I use the side
door, that way [redacted] can't see me. Uh, and after that, I just sorta
space out for about an hour.

GAF
Space out?

Kad
Yeah. I just stare at my desk but it looks like I'm working. I do that
for probably another hour after lunch too. I'd probably, say, in a
given week, I probably do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work.

GAF
Uh, kad, would you be a good sport and indulge us and tell us a
little more?

Kad
Let me tell you something about Timesheets...'

 

[GymWolf]

I'm a glorified babysitter.

Are you a mod on reeeeee?!

 

[MetalAlien]

Get out try not to get shot.
Repeat all day.

I spend a lot of time up on roofs, hydraulic platforms and wooden poles.

You are the set up for a porn movie?

 

[teezzy]

I wake up, browse Gaf, log into my laptop, email some people, call up car dealerships and talk to the management and make fun of customers, go jerk off, get coffee from the gas station with post nut clarity, wiggle my mouse, send some more emails, browse gaf, call some people who own cars and pretend like I'm doing research on my end when I really am just dicking thethem around until the situation sorta resolves itself, jerk off again, browse gaf, move everything to the next day because I'm "busy and overworked", sometimes I win gift cards for how competent I am somehow

I make 40k a year for this plus whatever bonuses I get

 

[EverydayBeast]

Without getting too much into it I give food to people that’s what I do guess the job

 

[teezzy]

Without getting too much into it I give food to people that’s what I do guess the job

Waiter?

 

[DESTROYA]

Without getting too much into it I give food to people that’s what I do guess the job

Your a vending machine ?

 

[deafmedal]

I spend a lot of time up on roofs, hydraulic platforms and wooden poles.

Electrician/lineman. Something I’m very familiar with
Come on, man!!! It’s in the name

 

[IDKFA]

I arrive at work at 09:00. Enter the office and put on my steal plate armour.

I then load my RPG and make sure I am carrying my diamond sausage.

We then have a brief team huddle at I'm the swimming pool. We're all wearing plate armour so can only be waist deep.

We start the strategy by rolling the hamsters across the American size pool table before the mechanical crows enter from the floor.

We repeat the cycle 20 times before I leave at 17:00.

 

[FunkMiller]

Without getting too much into it I give food to people that’s what I do guess the job

By 'food' do you mean 'bullets'? And by 'give' do you mean 'blanket fire'?

 

[FunkMiller]

I sit at home on my laptop in my underwear, alternating between Zoom meetings, copy writing, marketing campaign contributions and fuck arsing around on GAF, because my employer - one of the largest companies in the world, who likes things online - has decided none of us in my dept have to go back into the office until next year! Hurrah!

 

[Ash Sparrow]

They say the greatest trick the devil ever did was making people believe he didn't exist. I get a call in the morning mostly 5AM. Then there is a knock at the door. I never see the person, as if they learned the disappearing trick from Batman. I saunter to the door in my PJs and theres a package. The package is always from them. The package contains money. And sharpened sticks. I'm told where to go and when to be there. At 9PM, i'm headed to the location. I have been dating Ms Moss who lives across the hall from me, but I keep this part of my life a secret. I usually ask her if she wants some Subway or something, so me leaving at this time isn't suspicious. Many nights feel the same. I get a kick from the electric adrenaline pulsing through my body. I'm hot, its tempered by the cool of the moon. The night smells different. mostly a little dirty or charred. And theres always that sinking sensation that things wont go right. I see the subject. He sees me. It goes down. Another trophy. I've never liked Buffy. She has friends, but this duty is about being a detached version of me. Because the sooner you hold on to something the sooner you can lose it.

Not sure how far things will get with Ms Moss. I grab the subways sandwiches. Why does she like it, the meat all tastes the same and every night I do the same.

 

[lock2k]

Wake up
browse gaf
eat
sleep

 

[BadBurger]

- Check email on phone while taking my morning dump, maybe check Teams chats to see if I missed anything overnight
- Shower and coffee and kissing the GF goodbye and all that
- In my home office: set up my laptop on the side for meetings and minimal tasks, launch a Windows Virtual Desktop session on my desktop, launch a session of Azure Portal
- Get my WVD session all set up with all the apps I tend to keep running
- Get started on whatever project(s) I am on, maybe fire up a podcast for background noise
- Teams meeting with the crew prior to lunch
- Then it's just work as usual, trying to get work done and hoping people don't open some incident I need to handle, pester me on Teams, or god forbid call my personal cell

 

[Quasicat]

I'm a glorified babysitter.

I was going to say the same thing, but today I had 3/4 of my students in quarantine for the next two weeks due to a careless parent sending her child to school knowing they tested positive for Covid. My average class size today was 3.

 

[BadBurger]

I spend a lot of time up on roofs, hydraulic platforms and wooden poles.

Lineman?

 

[Northeastmonk]

I drive hundreds of miles to salvage equipment. I put together black boxes that prevent enemies from attacking. I question your living quarters before equipping you to the brim with a mother brain. On the side I solve complex issues that prevent businesses from collapsing. Today I question the existence of the place you call home. I look under every nook and cranny to offer you a better way of living.

 

[teezzy]

Wake up
browse gaf
eat
sleep

NEET!!

 

[Rentahamster]

Delegate. Dopamine. Collect money.

 

[mango drank]

Delegate. Dopamine. Collect money.

Pimp? Madam?

 

[Bitmap Frogs]

I wake up;
I go to work;
I sit in front of a computer;
I meet people though the day (depends on the day);
Then I do more sitting in front of a computer;
Then I go home;
Then I sleep;

 

[Elektro Demon]

Lineman?

Indeed.

 

[Xaero Gravity]

Arrive at the office at around 9:30am.

Usual string of conference calls and meetings.

Check in on my recruitment, data, and confirmation team.

Sit behind a mirror and observe/take notes.

Leave and work on a progress report.

 

[JimiNutz]

Recently changed jobs:

I leave the house around 8am and drive somewhere different every day.
Walk around a bit, take notes on an iPad and take some photos. Talk to a few people. Have the odd meeting. Sometimes deliver training. Drive home at 4pm.

 

[Yoshi]

Recently changed jobs:

I leave the house around 8am and drive somewhere different every day.
Walk around a bit, take notes on an iPad and take some photos. Talk to a few people. Have the odd meeting. Sometimes deliver training. Drive home at 4pm.

Assassin?

 

[JimiNutz]

Assassin?

In some ways it's kind of the opposite unfortunately.

 

[GAMETA]

I work from home, have been doing so for the past 7 years.

I wake up around 11am, take a shower, sit in front of the computer and see what's there to be done (I usually already know). At 1pm I order lunch. The rest of the day consists in staying in front of the computer alternating between states of productivity, visual research and "creative procrastination" (which includes GAF somehow).

I usually produce high quality work (according to my clients) but it takes a lot of time, or at least I say so. I take more time thinking and worrying of what I need to do than actually doing it, I think it's a huge flaw in my process (and in my pockets), which constantly leads me into thinking I'm a fraud.

At 7-8pm I go fetch or cook us dinner, then back to the computer untill midnight or so, when I go play some video games or watch a movie untill 3 or 4am and then go to sleep.

The routine usually includes weekends too.

I always feel like I'm not doing enough and like I don't have enough time.

 

[Slings and Arrows]

Sit behind a mirror and observe/take notes.

You're a parrot, or some kind of Budgie?

I drive hundreds of miles to salvage equipment. I put together black boxes that prevent enemies from attacking. I question your living quarters before equipping you to the brim with a mother brain. On the side I solve complex issues that prevent businesses from collapsing. Today I question the existence of the place you call home. I look under every nook and cranny to offer you a better way of living.

Pest control

 

[FunkMiller]

They say the greatest trick the devil ever did was making people believe he didn't exist. I get a call in the morning mostly 5AM. Then there is a knock at the door. I never see the person, as if they learned the disappearing trick from Batman. I saunter to the door in my PJs and theres a package. The package is always from them. The package contains money. And sharpened sticks. I'm told where to go and when to be there. At 9PM, i'm headed to the location. I have been dating Ms Moss who lives across the hall from me, but I keep this part of my life a secret. I usually ask her if she wants some Subway or something, so me leaving at this time isn't suspicious. Many nights feel the same. I get a kick from the electric adrenaline pulsing through my body. I'm hot, its tempered by the cool of the moon. The night smells different. mostly a little dirty or charred. And theres always that sinking sensation that things wont go right. I see the subject. He sees me. It goes down. Another trophy. I've never liked Buffy. She has friends, but this duty is about being a detached version of me. Because the sooner you hold on to something the sooner you can lose it.

Not sure how far things will get with Ms Moss. I grab the subways sandwiches. Why does she like it, the meat all tastes the same and every night I do the same.

Porn fluffer?

 

[Macapala]

I live in Melbourne so I sit on my arse all day.

 

[Yoshi]

In some ways it's kind of the opposite unfortunately.

One of the guys at an insurance company that checks damages that are reported and checks whethe the insurance is applicable?

 

[JimiNutz]

One of the guys at an insurance company that checks damages that are reported and checks whethe the insurance is applicable?

Much closer yeah.