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Dick Cheney Caption Contest
- Thread starter Mudwhistle
- Start date
- Status
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
are you alanis morissette?
Fresh Prince
Banned
"My friend Bill (over there) and I were wondering if you ladies are free later tonight....."
Litigation Manuel
Member
"I have the bigger pumpkin, making me the victor."
Mudwhistle
Member
"Seriously! How much do you think I could bench? Three? Three-Fifty??"
"Four-Hundred-Twenty-Five-Pounds. That's a lot of pumpkins, you know... Plus I have heat vision."
Mudwhistle
Member
"I am being as serious as the clap when I say that you two are the sexiest bitches in this place."
"You can't possibly think I'm paying for that..."
SlickWilly223
Time ta STEP IT UP
Pochacco said:
"GRRR I'M DICK CHENEY LOOK AT ME!!!!"
"GRRR I'M DICK CHENEY LOOK AT ME!!!!"
Somehow, he just won...
...It's the simple things in life that make it worth living.
Mudwhistle
Member
"Well, it's not TECHNICALLY a pacemaker. It's more of a time-travel device that traps human souls and controls the weather. Plus it makes my cock huge."
The Shadow
Member
"And when I do this, it looks like my thumb is cut off. Cool huh? Say, can I buy you gals a drink?"
"I don't care if your mommy will be right back. I'm not leaving until you give me your pumpkin."
"The President and I never for a moment forget our number one responsibility: to protect the American people against further attack, and to win the war that began last September 11th.
The danger to America requires action on many fronts all at once. We are reorganizing the federal government to protect the nation against further attack. The new Department of Homeland Security will gather under one roof the capability to identify threats, to check them against our vulnerabilities, and to move swiftly to protect the nation.
At the same time, we realize that wars are never won on the defensive. We must take the battle to the enemy. We will take every step necessary to make sure our country is secure, and we will prevail.
Much has happened since the attacks of 9/11. But as Secretary Rumsfeld has put it, we are still closer to the beginning of this war than we are to its end. The United States has entered a struggle of years -- a new kind of war against a new kind of enemy. The terrorists who struck America are ruthless, they are resourceful, and they hide in many countries. They came into our country to murder thousands of innocent men, women, and children. There is no doubt they wish to strike again, and that they are working to acquire the deadliest of all weapons.
Against such enemies, America and the civilized world have only one option: wherever terrorists operate, we must find them where they dwell, stop them in their planning, and one by one bring them to justice. "
"From kindergarten to graduation, I went to public schools, and I know that they are a key to being sure that every child has a chance to succeed and to rise in the world. When the President and I took office, our schools were shuffling too many children from grade to grade without giving them the skills and knowledge they need. So President Bush reached across the aisle and brought both parties together to pass the most significant education reform in 40 years. With higher standards and new resources, America's schools are now on an upward path to excellence and not for just a few children, but for every child.
Opportunity also depends on a vibrant, growing economy. As President Bush and I were sworn into office, our nation was sliding into recession, and American workers were overburdened with federal taxes. Then came the events of September 11th, which hit our economy very hard. So President Bush delivered the greatest tax reduction in a generation, and the results are clear to see. Businesses are creating jobs. People are returning to work. Mortgage rates are low, and home ownership in this country is at an all-time high. The Bush tax cuts are working.
Our nation has the best healthcare in the world, and President Bush is making it more affordable and accessible to all Americans. And there is more to do. Under this President's leadership, we will reform medical liability so the system serves patients and good doctors, not personal injury lawyers.
These have been years of achievement, and we are eager for the work ahead. And in all that we do, we will never lose sight of the greatest challenge of our time: preserving the freedom and security of this nation against determined enemies."
Ninja Scooter
Member
"On your knees, butt naked please!"
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