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[crimsonheadGCN]

I was checking out www.ebworld.com / www.ebgames.com and I came across some really dumb reviews. So I decided to make a post about these dumb reviews.

First dumb review that I came across was one about Resident Evil 4:

3/19/2005
NOT TOO BAD
This game is cool except for the bad camera angles. They seriously started to give me headaches after a while. The graphics are sweet along with the story too but this game isn't really what i thought it would be. I thought it would be more like socom 2 but it wasn't. Thats what really dissapointed me. In socom 2 you can play online and the camera follwos your guy. This game is pretty bad actually now that i think about it. People over rate it. Also the controls for the gamecube on this aren't all that great. I have acheieved the goal of the captain rank with 3456 kills and 0 deaths in socom 2 online. Sleep isn't important anymore with socom 2 to entertain me. You should all ignore this rip-off of a resident evil game and try socom2. Its pretty neat.

Don't understand how anyone could think this would be like SOCOM II. Also I highly doubt he has 3456 kills with 0 deaths in SOCOM II, since I have yet to see anyone with 0 deaths and a high kill count

Anyone else have a dumb review that they would like to post?

 

[Dr. Zoidberg]

This review was probably posted by the lead developer of Socom 2.

 

[lexi]

Look guys, let's stop bickering and discuss this like men over a nice game of SOCOM 2.

 

[Bigfonzie]

RE4 is just a cheap copy of Socom 2. THERE I SAID IT!

 

[whytemyke]

Hahaha...

come to think of it... I didn't like RE4 either. I was expecting it to be a lot like DDR, and it wasn't. I'm awesome at DDR so RE4 sucked.

 

[crimsonheadGCN]

I didn't like RE4 because it wasn't a fishing sim . Damn Capcom for its misleading advertisement

Edit: Come on people, find some dumb reviews.

 

[bjork]

"yes. naruto is great. THE BEST anime in the world. only one problem that it has with me being sold in the U.S: I CANT DOWNLOAD IT ANYMORE!!!! [...] if ur thinking about buying naruto in the U.S, i suggest you watch it with english subtitles and japanese voices. the voices of EVERYONE in naruto is absolutley PERFECT.yea well like i said, naruto surpasses any anime by far. STORY:naruto is struggling in his town because everyone dispises him. he works extra hard to become hokage of the village(which is like the mayor or leader and is the most powerful ninja in town).by the way the reason why everyone hates him is because he is the Demon Fox which long ago killed many ninjas and destroyed their town. before long he gets a new teacher (KAKASHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<~ my favorite character) and 2 partners: Sakura and Sasuke(girl,boy).i wont tell anymore, u will have to watch it urself. only one other thing about this being licensed in the u.s: in japan and online they are up to episode 126. they have a LONG way to go to translate and show every episode. Inuyasha is like a stupid frog compared to this anime. By the way Naruto's voice is done by a GIRL. it dosnt sound like it, but it is. it fits narutos voice perfectly. "

:lol @ "inuyasha is like a stupid frog compared to this anime"

 

[Bog]

Hulk for Xdude:

12/6/2002
FROM A FAN...
I''m a huge Hulk fan. I even dressed up as him for Easter. But listen, let me tell you something... there is nothing better than this game on the Xbox. I should know. I played it at my friend Ron''s apartment. It''s sickening how freaky real this game is. It''s so real and freaky real looking that you might just say "What? Wait. This is the real deal." This is the real deal, everyone. Buy this one for your nephew.

 

[Chiggs]

Hulk for Xdude:

12/6/2002
FROM A FAN...
I''m a huge Hulk fan. I even dressed up as him for Easter. But listen, let me tell you something... there is nothing better than this game on the Xbox. I should know. I played it at my friend Ron''s apartment. It''s sickening how freaky real this game is. It''s so real and freaky real looking that you might just say "What? Wait. This is the real deal." This is the real deal, everyone. Buy this one for your nephew.

Hahahahahaha! This makes me want to go look for stupid reviews, but my opinion of humanity is already low as it is (especially after being at Wal-Mart on Sunday - Yikes!).

 

[Chiggs]

Okay, here's one for San Andreas X-Box:

4/2/2005
SHOULD OF BEEN SOONER...
I cant wait for this game to come out, but my one problem is that they made us wiat. If rockstar was smart, they would have sold the exclusive liscence to microsoft, not sony. Looking back at the first 2, they sold many many many more copies on the xbox then they did on the ps2. People prefer to play this game on the xbox then they do the ps2, and it makes sense. Not only are the graphics better, but the sound is better, plus there is a built in hard drive that holds an amazingly high amount of blocks. I think R* missed out on a great oppertunity

 

[Keyser Soze]

Amazon PSP Review

Horrible the ds is much better, April 14, 2005
Reviewer: A gamer from Tokyo
This is the worst console I have ever owned and I own every single console. Do not buy this console. If you want to buy a console buy the ds or if your desperate buy the n gage ( even the n gage is better than the psp) so if you need to buy a console for yourself or your child or a friend dont spend 200 pounds when you can get a better console the ds for 97 pounds. If you wondeing why is it so bad think whats the point of watching a film on such a lousy screen and whats the point of playing games which you can get on the ps2. If your thinking the ds has the same games as the gameboy and gamecube you are so wrong the ds has a game like super mario ds 64 which is a remake of the nintendo 64 game but much better and the psp did not make improvements to the games on the console even though they were so bad on the ps2.

Multiple Fifa Street Reviews!! Not All Funny Just.......WHY????

CLASSIC, April 15, 2005
Reviewer: oliverfrancis48 from UK
I used to hate fifa games however now i can see why everybody who likes football likes fifa games, this game is no exception to that rule. the graphics are outstanding and the game play is second to non, this type of game play is rivals very closly to the latest fifa (real) game 2005 which deals with clubs and FA cup and so on. I encourage every body into football to buy this game and fifa 2005. This EA big games follows on from the legacy from SSX trickey, SSX, NBA big, Street hockey and stret NFL 1 & 2 all of these games have consided to a tradition which again is followed up in this Fifa EA big game.

Also for you sports fans i recommed madden 2004 and 2005, you won't put it down and it won't get boar

Its not about how many you score, its about how you score!!, March 31, 2005
Reviewer: Harry May from Wotton-under-edge, Gloucestershire United Kingdom
Fifa Street was the game we were all waiting for. When i purchased it i couldn't wait to see what it was like. The gameplay is awesome on this game. The way it flows and how the players look are really cool but one snag is that there isnt enough tricks which gets abit annoying because it gets too repetetive. It can also get abit frustrating at times, for example, when the computer hacks you out!! But overall a very good game and it is worth buying.

FANTASTIC!!!, April 5, 2005
Reviewer: s17elly from South Yorkshire
Having been brought up on a diet of fifa 20001,2,3,4 and pro-evolution etc etc I wasn't quite sure about these new "street" style games? (Bought it at the same time as NBA street 3, basketball). Lotta money £70 quid!

However THIS IS BRILLIANT....... THEY ARE BOTH BRILLIANT!!!

The action is fast, furious, fenetic....
I don't agree with anyone who says it's slow???
It'll take me quite some time to master all the moves but from the outset it's awesome even using simple button skills learnt from past footy games.

The graphics are simply stunning, sound effects incredible. I'd imagine the commentary wouldn't be everyones cup of tea but i'm sure it can be turned off.

In my humble yet honest opinion i'd recommend this game to anyone. It has no faults for me.

Some will question the long term playability?.....well that's the nature of this genre of game in my opinion.
Maybe when you've won the title once that's it for you. For me though this is such a fresh and exciting new step for console football it'll do nicely for a very long time to come.

 

[Sho Nuff]

You're all jealous because these people can actually enjoy games.

 

[RedDwarf]

Stretch Panic: "GAY-Sorry game I never played but I saw my friend playing that game. you can tell it''s boring. "

Katamari Damacy: "0 STARS NOT 1 - whats wrong with all you guys. this game is sooooo retarted. the people that gave it 5 stars need to get out of da houseplay def jam or grand theft auto."

 

[Mallrat83]

3/19/2005
NOT TOO BAD
This game is cool except for the bad camera angles. They seriously started to give me headaches after a while. The graphics are sweet along with the story too but this game isn't really what i thought it would be. I thought it would be more like socom 2 but it wasn't. Thats what really dissapointed me. In socom 2 you can play online and the camera follwos your guy. This game is pretty bad actually now that i think about it. People over rate it. Also the controls for the gamecube on this aren't all that great. I have acheieved the goal of the captain rank with 3456 kills and 0 deaths in socom 2 online. Sleep isn't important anymore with socom 2 to entertain me. You should all ignore this rip-off of a resident evil game and try socom2. Its pretty neat.

:lol :lol :lol
The way in which this reviewer goes from one extreme to the other reminds me of that classic scene from the Marx brother's movie Duck Soup:

Rufus T. Firefly: I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me if I didn't do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia in peace with the world. I'd be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino, and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesn't. A fine thing that'll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a forgein ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it - I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept. Why, the cheap ball-pushing swine, he'll never get away with it I tell you, he'll never get away with it.

[Trentino enters]

Rufus T. Firefly: So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh?

[slaps Trentino with his glove]

 

[Chiggs]

Here are some more:

Metroid Prime Review

John Agudelo: 12/1/2004
HALO SUX
man this game sucs!!!!!!!! halo is such a rip............ oh........ this is metroid???!!! ohhhhhhhhhhhh, my bad, i give metroid 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 starz!!!!! really good game

Halo Review

Rajiv Dillon: 3/18/2005
NOT AS GREAT AS HALO 2
THIS GAME WAS GREAT WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT BUT NOW IT SUCKS HALO AS BETTER WARTHOGS, BANSHEES,GHOSTS,TANKS AND WRAITH NEW GUNS BETTER LEVELS AND GRAPHICS.

Halo Review

2/23/2005
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
i don't understand what's the big deal about this game. people obsess about this game but the truth is, it's a boring game! who wants to blow up dumb alliens when you can blow up tanks with apaches in grand theft auto! if you want a good allien game buy area 51 it even has marilyn manson in it!

Halo Review

11/1/2004
THIS IS SO BAD
this is not worth the money at all. im gonna go trade im my halo and xbox games for ps2 and grand theft auto now i hate halo its so bad

Halo Review

8/18/2004
BLAND AND BORING
This game is too bland and very boring. I dont see why people like it so much, i thought it was horrible. You can play it again, because you know what to do, And multiplayer... well.... its repetitive. Get Doom 3, now thats a game to can enjoy. When your playing, Levels are too bland, theres nothing in them. This is a game like others... Shoot aliens, beat the level. Halo 2 is going to be horrid like this, i recommend you dont get either, stick with better games then this, Doom, GTA, Manhunt, All of those games are great. Do not get this game or Halo 2.

DS Review

4/18/2005
SORRY NINTENDO
I have a DS. I thought this was going to be the best system ever. But I was wrong! PSP can be a mp3
it can play dvd's and play games. Also Sony is making a camera 4 the PSP, so soon its going to take
pictures. The DS gets boring so fast, doesn't have good gameplay eaither. I feel sorry 4 asking my parents to buy me this 4 Christmas. They just wasted their money because I'm going to trade it in when I'm finished with my last GBA game. I suggest 2 u people who have a DS and hate it trade it in now before the credit goes down from what it is now. Sorry Nintendo, I quit! I'm now a ALL TIME SONY FAN!

DS Review

4/18/2005
PLEASE THE DS SUCKS
People please all you nintendo fan boys the DS is a gimic. The true story is that when nintendo heard that sony was working on the psp, nintendo quickly started working on this peice of crap called the DS to slow down the psp sales. The DS is UGLUY my friend let me borow his DS cause he was tired of it the cames suck cmon people. ALLHOPE IS LOST!!! I bought the psp the day it came out its the best thing I have done with my money. Now just to show you how bad the DS sucks I took the DS to the mall with psp. I pul out thethe ds near an Ebgames store and nobody cared. Now when I pull out the psp every person thatwalked by was looking, smilling, and telling me I'm lucky I have one. there you go the psp is the winner hands down!!!

DS Review

4/18/2005
WATS THE MATTER WITH U PEOPLE .............
the ds stinks cuz my cuz owned 1 and a couple days later i got the psp with nfl street and ridge racers the psps kills the ds in all the ways u can think of haha

DS Review

Mr Game & Systum Watcher: 4/15/2005
CAN YOU SAY GARBIGE?
yea yea i kno that the DS is a good systum but Nintendo has relesed this DS too earlie and all of the owners of this DS have to wait till the END OF THE YEAR OR ONLY TILL THE MIDDLE? till the GOOD games start to come out. Nintendo should have relesed the DS LATER ON WHEN THEY HAD MORE GAMES for it. Now all DS owners have to hold on to a handheld with NO games (GOOD games like N4SU2,or MARIO KART). I just hope that Nintendo SHAPES up. Meanwile GET PSP you WONT REGRET gettin one with its features and GRAPHICS PSP IS UNSTOPABLE.

DS Review

3/28/2005
DS IS A PIECE OF
You can't bring it on a plane because of its wireless internet connection because it interfers with the pilots radio.Whoever says its good should look at DS to PSP. PSP is a mini playstation 2. DS two screens are confusing. Don't get it ur wasting ur money.