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[McLovin]

This is embarrassing as hell to post but whatever. In high school I had this pet albino rabbit, she was called Mochi. When I got out of school I would let her out sit her on my belly and pet her. Sometimes she would cling to me and.... shake. I didn't know why but boy did she love being petted. Especially around the whiskers. One day... I found some goop on my shirt. I had no idea what it was, but then a few days later I (to my horror) realized she had been jizzing on my for I don't know how long. Stopped playing with her as much and stopped petting her. A few days later I went to change her food and she tried to bite me lol.
edit - goddammit top of the page!

 

[Kurita]

Not my pet but my girlfriend's dog entered the room while she was giving me a bj.

 

[Icefire1424]

Oh man, where to start. First and foremost, the wife and I have two Beagles, Cody (male, 9), and Gracie (female, 7). Getting a Beagle was our first mistake. Getting a second Beagle to keep Cody company was mistake #2.

Cody:

• Disliked puppy training pads as a pup, disliked being left home alone for any amount of time even more. Would show his dissatisfaction with us leaving by tearing up the training pad, then pissing on the shreds of it when he had to go. This happened many, many times.
  
• Ate through a piece of drywall. We assume he started scratching at it and part of it fell of, prompting him to remove more of the drywall. Returned home to find a Beagle sized hole in the drywall of our apartment, which I had to pay to have repaired.
  
• Ate an Army Ranger guidebook I received as a gift. I loved that book, Cody did not.
  
• Chewed the case of two DVD's on two non-consecutive occasions. Ironically, Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and 2, more impressive that they were in the middle of a shelf, but he still managed to grab those two movies at separate times.
  
• Ate a sock. As in, an entire gym sock. He picked it up off the floor as I was doing laundry, ran with it under the bed and ate it immediately. It came back out the South end three days later, largely intact.
  
• Got off leash in the backyard (before we had a fence put in), when he spotted a rabbit. Chased said rabbit for 3/4 of a mile through swamp, briars and assorted shrubbery until I caught up with him. Rabbit got away.

Gracie:

• Pooped on my pillow as a puppy. Just jumped on my bed, went over to my pillow, and dropped a deuce. Hilarious.
  
• Ate a frog. Was okay though, 'cuz she spit him back out immediately. Lucky froggie hopped off unscathed.

I'm sure there's more, will update if I can think of any.

 

[Matt_]

I would take my basset hound for a walk and she would get tired and lay down on the road. And she wouldn't move until she was ready.

There was an elderly couple with an elderly basset hound that was famed for this round where I live
More often than not you'd go out and find the dog snoozing in the middle of the path with the owners just chatting to random passers by because the was no way that dog would move

 

[Rubbish King]

This is embarrassing as hell to post but whatever. In high school I had this pet albino rabbit, she was called Mochi. When I got out of school I would let her out sit her on my belly and pet her. Sometimes she would cling to me and.... shake. I didn't know why but boy did she love being petted. Especially around the whiskers. One day... I found some goop on my shirt. I had no idea what it was, but then a few days later I (to my horror) realized she had been jizzing on my for I don't know how long. Stopped playing with her as much and stopped petting her. A few days later I went to change her food and she tried to bite me lol.
edit - goddammit top of the page!

hahahahaha that's disgusting and hilarious

 

[Septimus Prime]

Welp, no Mario Kart for a while.

 

[AbsolutBro]

My dog is a rescue that was found wandering around starving. She was skin and bones, weighed 35 lbs to her current healthy 80. Needless to say, she has some habits that are proving hard to break, like eating poop. Amazingly enough, she has no food aggression. I can reach into her bowl with exactly 0 fear that she will bite me.

She was out in the front yard one day, where we have that invisible fencing up along with our actual fence. My neighbor keeps various birds, and one of his roosters had apparently gotten loose and decided that was the perfect time to run from behind the orchard, straight across the front yard and into my other neighbors yard. My dog, went flying over the fence. Flying. *bawk* *bawk* *BAWK* *BA-*

Most awkward conversation I have ever had to have. "Hey... I uh... I found your rooster..."

 

[Escape Goat]

There was an elderly couple with an elderly basset hound that was famed for this round where I live
More often than not you'd go out and find the dog snoozing in the middle of the path with the owners just chatting to random passers by because the was no way that dog would move

I'm more inclined to believe the blue hairs started chatting and the dog decided it was nap time (its always nap time).

 

[Krassus]

My rottweiler stole one of the lil kids next doors entire mcdonalds bag and ran inside my house. The family act all uppity with me and barely talks to me after =(

 

[Tabasco]

My cat constantly whines to go outside when he's not hungry.

My dog can get scared about a lot of things that won't harm her. I've noticed that she has improved on this, though.

 

[Curufinwe]

My dog got into coprophagia as a puppy so he has to be supervised in the back yard lest there be a relapse.

This isn't embarrassing, but he has also started having way more bad dreams as he's gotten older. Most evenings and sometimes at night we'll have to go wake him up because he's shaking softly and making pitiful chirping noises.

 

[Flo]

When I grew up we had two basset hounds, a boy and a girl. I was walking with them through an alley with lots of grass on one side, weather was great. There was a man working on his fence, I had never actually seen him before but always heard that he was a grumpy guy. So Happy, the girl, decided it was a good idea to take a shit just 4 meters from where that guy was standing. The wind was blowing in a very unfortunate direction and the dump smelled horrible. The guy did not appreciate it at all, understandably. As if that wasn't awkward enough. Doris, the boy, decided to piss against one of the poles of the unfinished fence. I had no idea what to say or where to look so I walked on quickly.