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Fight with spider ends with police being called

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statham

statham

Member
"Come on mate, what have you done to her?"

Police were questioning a "flushed" and "out of breath" man who had answered the door to a flat in Wollstonecraft, a small harborside suburb of Sydney, Australia.

The booming sounds of a man shouting "I'm going to kill you" and a "woman screaming hysterically" had earlier echoed through the apartment block, sometime before 2 a.m. on November 21. The commotion disturbed neighbors, who were quick to alert the local police force.

"Where's your wife?" asked one of the policemen.

"I don't have one," the homeowner responded, after inhaling some air.

"Where's your girlfriend?" the officer continued.

"I don't have one," he said.

Unsatisfied, the same policeman pressed: "We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I live alone," the man protested.

The officers then told the man that neighbors had heard death threats, screams and the crash of furniture being flung around the apartment.

"It was a spider," the man tentatively explained.

"A really big one."

Incredulous, the policeman asked: "What about the women screaming?"

"Yeah sorry that was me," he said. "I really, really hate spiders."

A new theory had emerged -- the man was indeed alone in the apartment, he was responsible for both the "womanly" screams and the threats to kill. They were not aimed at a woman, but an eight-legged arachnid.

Conscious that this could just be an audacious lie, the police searched the trashed apartment. However, they found just one victim, a "rather large" spider.

After deliberating, the cops concluded that the disturbance was indeed caused by an arachnophobic man wildly chasing a spider around his home, while desperately clutching a can of insect spray.

After an awkward pause broken by relieved laughter, the police left.

The morning after, the local force posted a transcript of the bizarre conversation to their Facebook page (scroll to the bottom of the post to read).

Who said the police don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
http://www.news4jax.com/news/us-world-news/spider-freaks-out-man-police-called/36671672
 
V

Vashetti

Banned
No pic of the dead spider

ECwWyKR.gif
 
N

N0VAM0D

Member
Immediately knew it'd be somewhere in Australia.

Fun story: (For context, I live in Australia too) I was turning on the bath tap the other day, and I haven't used it in a pretty long time. When I turned it on, along with the water, came out a bloody spider. Definitely opted for a shower instead after that ordeal.
 
W

Wyndstryker

Member
Since it's Australia, that spider is equivalent to an armed cold blooded killer.

Given how he's got arachnophobia I don't blame him.
 
A

akira28

Member
holy shit Australia get you shit together and handle your spider problems. Those funnel-webs are a threat to humanity.
 
C

Chariot

Member
this spider hate is still ridiculous. I hope they put this man into jail for disrespecting a spider this much and bothering the neighbours with his irrational spiderhate. Spiders are a column of modern civilisation. Without spiders we were still weeping children sucking on the nipple of an higher entity. Spiders made us. We should worship, not persecuting them. Spiders keep your room free from vermin. Spiders don't to do anything bad to you unless you have sinned. Spiders are adorable.
 
R

rpmurphy

Member
Chariot said:
this spider hate is still ridiculous. I hope they put this man into jail for disrespecting a spider this much and bothering the neighbours with his irrational spiderhate. Spiders are a column of modern civilisation. Without spiders we were still weeping children sucking on the nipple of an higher entity. Spiders made us. We should worship, not persecuting them. Spiders keep your room free from vermin. Spiders don't to do anything bad to you unless you have sinned. Spiders are adorable.
Click to expand...
spider pls go
 
M

Meia

Member
Chariot said:
this spider hate is still ridiculous. I hope they put this man into jail for disrespecting a spider this much and bothering the neighbours with his irrational spiderhate. Spiders are a column of modern civilisation. Without spiders we were still weeping children sucking on the nipple of an higher entity. Spiders made us. We should worship, not persecuting them. Spiders keep your room free from vermin. Spiders don't to do anything bad to you unless you have sinned. Spiders are adorable.
Click to expand...


icon.jpg
Click to expand...


I'm onto you...
 
T

Tinfoilhatsron

Banned
Chariot said:
this spider hate is still ridiculous. I hope they put this man into jail for disrespecting a spider this much and bothering the neighbours with his irrational spiderhate. Spiders are a column of modern civilisation. Without spiders we were still weeping children sucking on the nipple of an higher entity. Spiders made us. We should worship, not persecuting them. Spiders keep your room free from vermin. Spiders don't to do anything bad to you unless you have sinned. Spiders are adorable.
Click to expand...
Why does a spider have anime avatar???
 
S

Skilotonn

xbot xbot xbot xbot xbot
Haha, I figured on a hunch it was Australia, and I was right.

Poor innocent spider.

Then again, could have been a GAF member from anywhere from all we know too.

rpmurphy said:
It's alright, there's other parts of Australia he can move to:

064vPhu.jpg
Click to expand...

So are those dingos that kill babies, or newly-born killer dingos?
 
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