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[Manics]

So I should have made this thread closer to father's day, but I was just thinking about it recently.

My dad is italian, speaks very little to no english but he has some funny phrases he says from time to time with english words in them. One that I always use cause I think it's hilarious is his famous: "eep du fuck" phrase. I'm not quite sure what it conveys, I suppose just general frustration.

Anyone have any similar phrases you have picked up from your dad?

 

[border]

"Stop crying when I touch you there!"

Ahhhhh, good times. I use that one a lot.

 

[Justin Bailey]

"You've eaten enough sugar to float a battleship!"

 

[AniHawk]

"and we're off like a terd of hurtles."

 

[xsarien]

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

/I kid.

 

[Tamanon]

"If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's butt on the ground trying to fly"

Still don't know what it means.

 

[Kuramu]

my dad speaks in little phrases all the time. The ones i have on occasion used:

"Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick"

"Six to one, half dozen the other"

i don't know how to spell this one, it's german, but something like "auch de leibe" when something goes wrong

 

[ManDudeChild]

"If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's butt on the ground trying to fly"

Still don't know what it means.

It means that the frog would be able to use its wings to actually fly into the air, as supposed to a hop which makes it hit its butt on the way down. Also, it means you touch yourself at night.

 

[ronito]

Once when I asked him for $5 to go swimming he replied:

"$4? Why do you want $3? Here's $2 and split one with your brother."

Guess he heard it in a joke, and thought it'd be funny to try on me.

 

[Joe]

my father is also an italian immigrant and speaks the most broken english ive ever heard.

i get a lot of "CORNUDO!" (i think the spelling is off) followed up with the devil horns.

 

[MIMIC]

When me and my brother do something to tick him off:

"Now ain't that hell??" :lol

 

[Manics]

my father is also an italian immigrant and speaks the most broken english ive ever heard.

Paisano! What part of the boot your dad come from?

 

[karasu]

"How dumb can you be and still be breathing"

"See,you think you got me, but your logic is 'combubulated'."

"I dont give a fart'

 

[olimario]

My dad is a sap.

He called my brother a Ninny when he found out that my brother was feeding his peas to the dog. :lol


My grandpa had the best one. I was telling him that I wished I could move out and he said, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first". :lol

 

[Joe]

Paisano! What part of the boot your dad come from?

he's actually from palermo, sicily but i just say italy. close enough i guess.

both of my parents are actually from palermo, but they met over here in the states which is kind of weird.

 

[Drinky Crow]

"runs like a raped ape"

Still cracks me up every time he says it (usually in reference to a boat). I just imagine this massive gorilla crashing through the jungle at high speed, clutching its ass and howling. Now THAT'S velocity!

 

[bjork]

When he thinks something can't be beat, he says it's "better than a sore peter."

 

[Mr. Rellik]

ITS "SIX OF ONE HALF A DOZEN OF THE OTHER"

 

[android]

My dad for some reason pronounces tiger as Tagger. As in "I saw a cheap ATI card on Taggerdirect.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

"I'll kick your ass up between your shoulder blades!"

Yikes! He never did it, but I still cringe in pain at the thought of it. :lol

 

[darscot]

"Is a ten pound robin heavy?"
"Kick in the ass with a frozen muckaluck."

 

[WordAssassin]

It's funny that I was reading this thread when my dad was in my studio, unloading food from my freezer. I was complaining about it and he said something like, in a black preacher's voice, "Stand up and put your hand on the radio, and feel the vibrations of God!"

He's so cool. He has a lot of phrases passed on from his dad and grandad.

"Want in one hand, shit in the other, see which fills up first."
When I call him on checking out younger women, (My age, 20ish) he says, "You're never too old to look at a beautiful sunset."

I'll try to remember more, but my abosulte favorite saying is from my great grandpa, which is "Take your time leaving, and hurry back!"

 

[Syckx]

My grandfather used to tell my mother "you're so dumb, thank God you were not twin."

 

[Barrage]

"Stupider then a round retard."

Used in reference to....uh...anything,really.

 

[opkal]

My Dad always tells me, "It's better for them to assume your a fool then to open your mouth and prove it."

Man, he's the best.

 

[pj]

"jesus tits"

I don't know what it means

 

[kablooey]

Not all that funny, but always pretty good advice for me from my pops:

"An idle mind is the devil's workshop".

 

[ohamsie]

My dad always has to announce when he is going to the bathroom, and he'll usually come up with some strange metaphor for it. His most often used one is "I'm going to go bleed the frog."


Then my mom started saying "I'm going to go bleed the lily pad," which brings up all sorts of horrid connotations.

 

[demon]

My dad always has to announce when he is going to the bathroom, and he'll usually come up with some strange metaphor for it. His most often used one is "I'm going to go bleed the frog."


Then my mom started saying "I'm going to go bleed the lily pad," which brings up all sorts of horrid connotations.

Jesus tits!

 

[GhaleonEB]

"No shit, Sherlock."

That dad, he was a charmer.

 

[hXc_thugg]

"It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on!"
"In God we trust, all others pay cash."

When someone says "Excuse me." he will reply with "There's no excuse for you!"

My dad has some good ones, but I can't seem to remember them.

 

[Matt_09]

My dads a big Indiana Jones fan (not obsessed or anything) he just loves the movies, so whenever we are leaving the house together he will run past me and shouts"I Go First Indy" (From Temple of Doom). Makes me laugh everytime.

I think he says it because the Chinese actor who says the line aws born in the same city as us.

 

[Blackie]

My dad's a Nigerian immigrant, and he speaks pretty good english most of the time. But he does mix words up in certain phrases occasionally. One choice line he often fucks up is "Kill two stones with one bird". When we were talking about SW:EP3 "Who was that, Darth Verder?". And then he was talking about Verder screaming out luke, and he started going "Luuuuke. LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!" Cracked the shit out of me and my family.

My dad is the chillest guy, though. He can be a complete ass sometimes, but he always redeems himself.

 

[Burger]

"Complete twat"

When pissed off, it was always "God give me strength" (not religious) which scared the shit out of me, thought he would turn into Zeus or something and kick my ass (never did).

 

[Blackace]

My father made it through the South in the late 30s, which isn't easy being black and all

"stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

He calls toliet paper "shit paper"

"One day I hope you have kids just like you, so you know how the hell I feel now."

One day I got cheeky with him and told I would call CPS on him for spanking me for skipping school, which was a big no-no with my father and he told me

"Oh? You want to call CPS? Here you go, here's the phone! Fuck it, they can take you and your fucking brother too!"

He is a great man... I hated all the times he made me get the switch... but damn I love that guy... full of wisdom as hard as it to tell from the quotes I selected...

 

[Loki]

"Come on, jump-- I promise I'll catch you."


'Twas a tragic childhood for young Loki.

 

[bjork]

Happiness is referred to as someone "shitting in tall cotton."

 

[gigapower]

When someone ask where the bathroom in the house is: "tell them I sent you and you'll get the best seat in the house"

 

[Jewbacca]

"I should have never had you"

and my favorite

"Your sister was an accident"

yes ive heard both...

 

[Suikoguy]

"Let's make like a sheepherder and get the flock outta here"

 

[MrPing1000]

my dad is a rather funny man with homosexual tendancies (but in a good way) Ahh yes nothing like seeing a grown man in his underpants dancing past the open door to the computer room. Nutter

 

[Tommie Hu$tle]

Are you two playing grabass again?

or

- when some one his hopelessly lost trying to fix something usually my brother and I -
You two numbskulls look like monkies trying to swallow a football!