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Funny Pickup Lines

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V

videogamer

Banned
took these off a premed forum. some might be funnier with a little background



it must be in your genes.....take them off

"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Hey baby you look sad, would you like to get a Polymerase Chain Reaction going?

"Hey baby. I wish I was your derivative so I could be tangent to all your curves."

What is your spin number? Actually some one replied to him by saying +1/2

"There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my active site and really turn me on. I'll send you my crystal structure if you send me yours!"

"Mature cell seeks same who still enjoys cycling and won't go apoptotic on me. Let's fight senescence together!"

"I'm a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal. Call me if you're a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in endless nights of colony stimulation."

"I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for a signal that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my potential energy."

"Some dates have called me a promoter. Others have referred to me as a real operator. Personally, I think I'm just a cute piece of DNA who is still looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind."

"I've been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with congenial TACGTAC."

"Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured receptor who knows size isn't everything."

"Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I've shed my exons and am ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host."

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=168797

anyone care to post more?
 
B

Boogie

Member
I believe with the discovery of that thread we have found a group of people more hopeless with women than me.
 
V

videogamer

Banned
There used to be an engineering flash

one of the jokes involved a person asking another to find the coefficient of friction between the two individuals.
 
L

Litigation Manuel

Member
I'm trying to think of something that could work in the word "dong." But I don't think it's necessary: "dong" is funny enough on its own. Say it to ladies and they'll be so impressed by your sense of humor that they'll practically be throwing their vaginas at you.

You can't throw vaginas, I think they're attached to stuff.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
Get your coat baby, you've scored!
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Boogie said:
I believe with the discovery of that thread we have found a group of people more hopeless with women than me.
Click to expand...
inconceivable.jpg
 
V

videogamer

Banned
lakeearth: a lot of the later ones make sense with cell bio in mind. But aren't you in grad school?

demon: oh come on! these pick up lines are funny

edit: more from that thread:

Psychiatrist: "I know why you are here. You are crazy about me right?"

My love for you is just like that last kid's explosive diarrhea....I just can't hold it in any longer.
 
K

Kabuki Waq

Member
an oldie but a goodie


"hey baby your parents must be retarded...............cause your so special"


or to a waitress......."do yoooou come with that drink hehehehe"


edit: make sure to include the "hehehehe" for effect.
 
L

LakeEarth

Member
Hammy said:
lakeearth: a lot of the later ones make sense with cell bio in mind. But aren't you in grad school?
Click to expand...
I understand them. I just don't get them. The PCR especially. Yes I know it's a process of replicating DNA, like the reproductive act, but it's just... stupid!
 
V

videogamer

Banned
LakeEarth said:
I understand them. I just don't get them. The PCR especially. Yes I know it's a process of replicating DNA, like the reproductive act, but it's just... stupid!
Click to expand...
that makes them only more funny!
 
T

Tarazet

Member
Are there any good pickup lines? I don't think such a thing even exists. You strike up a conversation, and it drifts... that's the way of the world.
 
B

belgurdo

Banned
Hey drunk girl my dick is two feet long and the buttons on my coat probably cost more than what you make in a year. Fuck me plz
 
L

Loki

Count of Concision
Boogie said:
I believe with the discovery of that thread we have found a group of people more hopeless with women than me.
Click to expand...

In all likelihood, you're absolutely correct-- however, some of those lines are quite funny if you have the requisite background knowledge. :lol


LakeEarth said:
I don't get most of those, and I'm a fricken biochemist.
Click to expand...

For shame, LakeEarth...for shame. :D
 
D

Duck of Death

Member
Here's a couple that usually get a laugh from the ladies:

1) The setup: A guy walks up to a girl with a six-pack.

Guy: "Hey baby, you want to come to my place, drink this beer and fuck?"

Girl: "NO"

Guy: "What, you don't like beer?"


2) An oldie, but a goodie

Guy: "Wow, do you wash your jeans with Windex?"

Girl: "Huh, why?"

Guy: "CAUSE I CAN SEE MYSELF IN YO PANTS"
 
C

Cubsfan23

Banned
Here are some mean ones:

1) Hi, I couldn’t help but notice you. You’re enormous!

2) What’s your sign? Yield? Good, because I’m planning on ignoring you.

3) If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would make U into Z and I into A so that
I could be as far from U as physically possible.

4) What are you drinking? If you drank a lot more I might be interested!

5) Your pants would look great on my floor. I could carpet my whole place with
them!

6) Is your father a thief? He should steal you a personality.

7) If I told you you had a good body, would you care that I think you’re an
idiot?

8) Would you like to go back to my place for pizza and sex? No? What’s wrong,
you don’t like sex? Because you clearly like pizza.

9) Can I take a look at the label on your shirt? It’s really ugly.

10) Hey, beautiful! Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were retarded.


11)How did you manage to find the ONE pair of black pants that make your
ass look like it's about a yard wide?!"

12. "Do you come here often? I want to know if I need to avoid this place!"

13. "You look familiar. Are you a Corrections Officer?"

14. "Are you spoiled, or do you always smell like that?"

15. "Y'know, there's nothing wrong with you that an autopsy wouldn't cure!"

16. "Nice shoes. Take a walk!"

"you know, it's too bad you weren't driving princess Diana's car
when it crashed."

"Damn, your camel toe look's like it's about to bite me!"

"Yup, your definitely an abortion gone wrong."

"You should wear a brown bag over your head when you go out,
and drawl a mans face on it, that way not so many people are
confused when they look at you."
 
D

Dilbert

Member
The best pick-up line I ever heard was from a girl to a guy at a party:

Girl: Hey, that's a nice shirt! Where did you buy it?
Guy: <rambles about his shirt for a couple of seconds>
Girl: Well, that shirt is DEFINITELY becoming on you. <smiles> And, if I were on you, I'd be cumming too!

Needless to say, he followed her out of the party. She was pretty damn hot, too.
 
M

Miguel

Member
-jinx- said:
The best pick-up line I ever heard was from a girl to a guy at a party:

Girl: Hey, that's a nice shirt! Where did you buy it?
Guy: <rambles about his shirt for a couple of seconds>
Girl: Well, that shirt is DEFINITELY becoming on you. <smiles> And, if I were on you, I'd be cumming too!

Needless to say, he followed her out of the party. She was pretty damn hot, too.
Click to expand...

I don't think she'd have needed the pickup line.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
3) If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would make U into Z and I into A so that
I could be as far from U as physically possible.
Click to expand...

Gotta remember that one.

I don't think she'd have needed the pickup line.
Click to expand...

Indeed. Here's some pick up lines for the girls (GUARANTEED SATISFACTION):

"Let's have sex"

"Oh I'm so lonely now my boyfriend has moved to France"

"You're ugly and fat but I'm a slut"

You can also try minimal eye contact and just existing. They'll work too.
 
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