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[Lionel Mandrake]

Alright, you Pagan motherfuckers, it's time for me to save your worthless souls. I know we had a thread a few months ago that touched on this, but all must know.

I've lived in the Bible Belt all my life, and I've been very familiar with these little things called "Bible Tracts." Mostly they're just pamphlets which briefly discuss why everything is the work of Satan and why you should lock yourself in the house and just wait for the Apocalypse. But then there's the tracts put out by 90-year-old recluse Jack Chick, who may or may not actually exist.

Chick Tracts are in the form of little comic books, with two panels a page. You can find these things in country stores, BBQ shacks, county fairs, and what-have-you. Sometimes people will hand them out on the street, other times they'll leave them under windshield wipers. You live out here long enough and you'll find them, and they're JUST GIVING THIS GOLD AWAY... for free!

And they're hysterical. They're racist, homophobic, and just all around politically incorrect, as well as just downright insane. Not to mention the weird art and confounding writing, filled with people easily swayed by a minute of preaching, yet unperturbed by demons yelling directly into their faces.

I can't even explain how glorious this shit is. You know that "copypasta" joke chain e-mail thing about the "Liberal homosexual ACLU professor" and the Marine debating evolution? Well here's the Chick tract that it's based on.

"Boo!" is possibly my favorite one. Who needs subtlety when you can have Satan chasing campers with a chainsaw.

Here's the full list for your viewing pleasure.

And here's some random excerpts:

 

[Brannon]

These things were everywhere when I was growing up. Gotta find that dungeons and dragons one.

 

[Grimm Fandango]

"Stinking straight!"

I'm going to start yelling this at people on the street.

 

[Guevara]

 

[CrazyDogg77]

Growing up in SC and going to a private Christian school I use to get these like every day. It's crazy to look at them now.

 

[XANDER CAGE]

My favorite part is his series specifically for black people. Or his bizarro racist concept of black people.

 

[teruterubozu]

These things were everywhere when I was growing up. Gotta find that dungeons and dragons one.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

 

[CrazyDogg77]

My favorite part is his series specifically for black people. Or his bizarro racist concept of black people.

I like how in every other tract the devil is never shown as a human except in this one where he's a black guy.

 

[mightynine]

My favorite part is his series specifically for black people. Or his bizarro racist concept of black people.

Of course the kid's name is Denzel.

 

[Deified Data]

Chick Tract thread? Chick Tract thread. Time to settle down for some good reading. Love the things.

 

[Intheflorsh]

We just love him!

 

[Deified Data]

HAW HAW HAW

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

For a second, I thought this was about Tom Metzger's work: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Metzger_(white_supremacist). It seems like a lot of underground comics have a similar art style (and similar crazy and hateful ideas)

He's put out some truly foul cartoons: http://www.resist.com/CARTOON GALLERY/CartoonIndex.htm

 

[lethial]

Jesus that womans face on the bottom comic lol.

 

[General Choomin]

 

[diffusionx]

Chick seems to have gotten less subtle over the years.

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

Chick seems to have gotten less subtle over the years.

Moon god?

 

[Hilbert]

I own hundreds of these as well as his full sized crusader comics.

 

[XANDER CAGE]

MOON GOD?

 

[vas_a_morir]

I love this one.

 

[CrazyDogg77]

Those resist comic are so racist and ignorant I just feel bad for the person who drew them

 

[fredrancour]

Now that the cthulhu one got posted, I expect the darkseid parody will show up too.

 

[FnordChan]

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

The only thing better than Dark Dungeons are parodies of Dark Dungeons.

Then there's The Death Cookie. 'Nuff said.

Also, an earlier NeoGAF thread about Jack Chick embracing that new fangled "man-ga" look is pretty fantastic.

My favorite Chick tract experience was accepting one from a man standing in a prime spot of The Magnificent Mile in Chicago, surrounded by towers made out of boxes of tracts, and handing 'em out by the fistful. They were personalized by the Battle Axe Ministries of Gary, Indiana. I figure if there's anywhere in America that probably needs a Battle Axe Ministry, it's Gary.

The World of Jack T. Chick is a solid book on the subject of Chick tracts and Jack Chick's worldview, such as it is.

Finally, if you're willing to put yourself on their mailing list you can get a couple of new tracts to boggle at every month. On the down side, then you're on their mailing list. Forever.

Fnord Tracts

 

[General Choomin]

There is more to it then that but... that's pretty much the jist of it.. I saw that moon god section years ago and burst out laughing so I just wanted to repost that one section in this thread.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp the rest

 

[TAJ]

Eww, Metzger. He lived near here for decades. His son John was a piece of shit, too. Big surprise there.

 

[RoboPlato]

We looked at a bunch of these in an American Studies class I took. They're goddamn hilarious.

 

[General Choomin]

There is a spacemoose strip(Spacemoose was the shit when the internet first came about but is now sexist and homophobic in hindsite) where he parodied jack chick.

http://www.hackcanada.com/canadian/zines/spacemoose/antlers.gif

I would post the strip but some people might be at work and stuff.

 

[jhmtehgamr20xx]

Let's just hope this Jack Shit guy dies a quick, ironic death so we have as much time as possible before some other idiot takes up their mantle.

 

[fallengorn]

I love the Galactus Chick parody.

 

[XANDER CAGE]

Let's just hope this Jack Shit guy dies a quick, ironic death so we have as much time as possible before some other idiot takes up their mantle.

 

[jhmtehgamr20xx]

For a second, I thought this was about Tom Metzger's work: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Metzger_(white_supremacist). It seems like a lot of underground comics have a similar art style (and similar crazy and hateful ideas)

He's put out some truly foul cartoons: http://www.resist.com/CARTOON GALLERY/CartoonIndex.htm

Don't let these abominations of fucked-upedness (it's a word, I say it is) drag down your impression on the underground comic scene. A lot of them are very "weird", yes, but the good ones aren't nearly as hateful as this piss and if they touch on similar stuff, it's usually to speak against it, not in favor of it.

 

[ixix]

Chick seems to have gotten less subtle over the years.

Not all the tracts are by Chick himself; he's had at least one collaborator since the 70's who drew quite a few tracts and who also worked with Chick on a movie of sorts back in the early '00s. Nobody knows exactly how many different authors and illustrators work on Chick tracts, and Chick himself has never identified any but the one. There's a lot of suspicion that the bulk of the tracts are essentially outsourced anymore, since Chick's pretty dang old, the style and quality of the illustrations varies wildly, and Chick had a major heart attack a while back that coincided with a significant shift in the quality of new tracts.

Writing that paragraph made me realize that I know way the hell more about Jack T. Chick than I really ought to, or even particularly care to.

 

[cheststrongwell]

I love these things. Used to find them in EGM.

 

[HalfBakedProphet]

I've been handed three of these. The first time I was a little put off, but now I see them as a tiny gift from God.

I liked the one about how all Catholics (specifically those from Latin America) are going to hell for worshipping Mary.

 

[atomsk]

Also out there is The Truth For Youth comics

Here's one that is pretty much Marilyn Manson

Funny enough, they made an updated version years later that is totally manga-style now

Gotta get those kids somehow

 

[JordanN]

Those comics have the ugliest artstyle ever.

If you're going to push religion, at least make it aesthetically pleasing like this.

 

[Chie Satonaka]

Even when I was a Christian, I thought these things were horrid.

Now that I'm not, I find them hilarious.

 

[RoboPlato]

Those comics have the ugliest artstyle ever.

If you're going to push religion, at least make it aesthetically pleasing like this.

I still want a movie made of this.

 

[FelixOrion]

The D&D Chick tract is an all time hilarious classic.

 

[Jacob]

I once found these at a booth set up by a fundamentalist church at a local fair. I was actually pretty excited by the opportunity to talk to someone who would actually hand out Chick tracts. Unfortunately they weren't really interested in debating Chick's assertions and I didn't want to be an asshole about it, so I left.

 

[ZiZ]

I remember that pamphlet, some guy was spreading them at an English as a Second Language school that had a lot of Muslim students.

 

[Hilbert]

Here is my collection of Chick Lit.

 

[FYC]

SICK DREAMS ARE MADE OF FLEAS, MOLDY BREATH AND SCHOOLYARD CHEESE \m/ \m/

 

[Trouble]

Here is my collection of Chick Lit.

WHY?

 

[Scalemail Ted]

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

There are too many girls in that D&D group for this comic to be believable.

 

[Hilbert]

WHY?

Because they are fascinating!

Isn't that what this thread is about? And yes, I am on their mailing list, and get the new tracts in the mail.

 

[Derwind]

My favorite part is his series specifically for black people. Or his bizarro racist concept of black people.

Why is this real?!

Fuck.

 

[Chie Satonaka]

Because they are fascinating!

Isn't that what this thread is about? And yes, I am on their mailing list, and get the new tracts in the mail.

I'm seriously considering joining their mailing list. These things are seriously gold.

 

[Hilbert]

I'm seriously considering joining their mailing list. These things are seriously gold.

I scoured used books stores and garage sales for the crusader comics. The tracts are fun, but those are completely insane. There is one about how every rock music CD gets a demon put into it by the illuminati and it is released in your house when you play the CD.

I was so happy when I completed the set.

 

[FYC]

I scoured used books stores and garage sales for the crusader comics. The tracts are fun, but those are completely insane. There is one about how every rock music CD gets a demon put into it by the illuminati and it is released in your house when you play the CD.

I was so happy when I completed the set.

Hmm, would the Illuminati be able to insert demons into digital music?