Figured it might deserve it's own thread.
I posted this in the How do you think people on Gaf perceive you? thread.
I tried to get everybody who posted in there, so if you aren't on here, that is why.
How I perceive the posters on gaf...
viciouskillersquirrel : Exclusively eats with a spork
kai3345 : Smells like cheese and lemons
Lionel Mandrake : Tried to ride a badger, lost a toe
mysticwhip : Killed a hooker
Veidt : Ate a part of his own buttocks
Dresden : Once got laid for urinating on a homeless man
Rafa=FedKilla : Has killed no feds, but did kill a parking attendant
EschatonDX : Once got into a vicious fistfight with a coat hanger
Dali : Not only has a penis, but it smells like lilacs too
ZeroRay : Wears a necklace with giraffe testicles on it
pmj : Best friend is an ear of corn
Woffls : Often mistakenly exchanges O's for A's
LovingSteam : Was in the room when Kobe raped that white girl
Count Dookkake : Had sex with a girl with no legs
G-Fex : Tried to have sex with an empty can of fresca
Mechanical Snowman : Parents used to make love in his bed while he slept
Cyan : Has a thing for women with no nipples
Dabookerman : Believes buttsex can get you pregnant
Medalion : Has a silver medal in curling
Threi : Really likes the color chartreuse. Like...a lot. Like...in a creepy way.
Zeke : Strangled a child with a naruto headband
crazy monkey : Eats grass
RbBrdMan : Defeated Jay Z in a rap battle
Zapages : Throws lightbulbs at pigeons
ZephyrFate : Can and does lick his own elbow
Empty : Had a passionate affair with his friend's grandmother
elrechazao : Dreams of giving adult male circumcisions for a living
whitehawk : Can kill a man with a empty box of triscuits
plasmasd : Has a goat, loves that goat like family
Hawkian : Once snorted a line of salt
Timber : Hid in a car trunk for no reason other than he liked the carpeting.
RubxQub : Dreams of learning Swahili and teaching the language in Finland.
vicissitudes : Believes his father is Joe Pesci
evil solrac v3.0 : Killed V.1 and V.2 in a threeway sex romp gone horribly wrong
Smiles and Cries : Believes every time you smile or cry, a baby gets aborted
moojito : Sold crack to school children to fund his porcelain doll collection
Mr. Sam : Has an intense distrust of hats
shuri : Plays a mean sousaphone, but only when drunk and horny
disappeared : Believes a half eaten banana murdered his best friend
PhoncipleBone : can eat a bag of sunflower seeds using just his asscheeks and big toe
mcrae : Always wears a fanny pack filled with skinless grapes
Rekwest : Prefers to cripple rather than kill
X26 : Fed his grandmother pizza when she had a heart attack
Blair : Slapped a new born for looking at him wrong
Serenade : Donated his left nipple to a good cause
fallengorn : Fighting his own private war against left handed ginger people
Rewrite : Believes 2nd drafts are for child molesters
orioto : Can only get off while wearing two pairs of socks on the right foot.
evlcookie : Knows no joy greater than pooping in a narrow vase
KevinCow : Believes Hitler created rice cakes
Calcaneus : Has the bone density of a small trout
snesfreak : Had a vision of a sideways vagina and spends his life seeking it out
cazosozey : Has never recovered from the removal of pluto as a planet
Trurl : Collects the dreams of the young, mocks the dreams of the old
Meadows : Prefers gently slopping hills
R2D4 : Girlfriend left him for an odd number, never forgave either of them
Mudkips : Killed a hooker when she wouldn't hold him while he wept
Goron2000 : Knows how magnets work, but not rainbows
Megadragon15 : Still has a lego stuck in his left nostril
xbhaskarx : Wears his sunglasses at dawn. But never at night.
Yeef : Shot a man in reno, but felt really really bad about it
harSon : Believes his penis controls the weather, may be correct.
Trent Strong : Has a $20,000 pair of lederhosen he won in a game of Parcheesi
Critical Jeff : Will kill over the quality of his canned soup
brain_stew : Has never owned a pair of shorts that didn't hug his ass in just the right way
Rickard : Got fired for putting a "no fat chicks" sign outside his obgyn office.
besada : Has no lips, and is damn proud of it
oneHeero : Is scared of wicker furniture
QuiteWhittle : Let a stripper spit in his mouth for a half jar of pickles
Kaako : Will spin into a psychotic rage at the sight of the number 8
AvidNobody : Talked Amirox into including penises on his drawings.
Jamesfrom818 : Wears a tie with every outfit. EVERY outfit.
demosthenes : Doesn't believe in midgets
Mangoverboard : Has a painting of George Takei in a pink dress that hands proudly in the den
smurfx : Walks like a man, dances like a girl
bigmit3737 : Has the skin of a new born babe, but only on his inner thighs
Skittleguy : Fed a crackhead alka seltzer expecting him to explode
bgassassin : Wears a heart on his sleeve, just not his.
Bleepey : Voiced a rarely featured fraggle named Molesty
salva : Ran a chapter of MS-13 until he decided to open a farm for abandoned ferrets.
Steelrain : Is deathly afraid of bad stitching in leather upholstery
140.85 : Met Jesus once, gave him directions to IHOP
NomarTyme : Believes tentacle rape is underrepresented in hollywood movies.
The_Technomancer : Has one black testicle and one white testicle. They aren't fond of each other.
charsace : Painted his walls an eggshell white without user a primer. The fucking heathen.
dygiT : Has never know love like the love from the letter Y, rough but tender.
Chamber : Took a crap in your flowerbox, forgot to wipe.
SoulPlaya : Believes his kitchen appliances are plotting to rape him
SolarPowered : Is helping kitchen appliances plot to rape some dude
Oozer3993 : Confuses horny with thirsty.
JSnake : Has plans to start a free range farm that will only raise one balled goats
GraveRobberX : Kicked a puppy, but it so deserved it
Snowman Prophet of Doom : Got in a fistfight with a mall santa for giving him the "stink eye"
DonMigs85 : Drives sewage trucks for a living, not for the money, but for the chicks.
Kilrogg : Had a baby with 50 cent, but isn't a millionaire.
RevoDS : Does a revolutionary mix of stand up comedy, yoga and faith healing
Jewbacca : Makes friendship bracelets from his luscious taint hair.
Tobor : Got in a knife fight with two Scandinavian children
Crunched : Was up for the role of Sookie Stackhouse
Pinko Marx : Always carries around a handful of blueberries to throw at children
Byakuya769 : Has never known the love of a beard, and is scared he isn't worthy of said love
Full Recovery : A childhood illness left him unable to taste the color blue
Jeff Albertson : Removes the letter Q from every keyboard he's ever owned.
DMeisterJ : Never learned to ride a bicycle, but can masturbate like a champion.
Jzero15 : Was heartbroken to learn boobs dont actually shoot whip cream
BertramCooper : Spent two weeks in a tee pee but has no memory of it
Salazar : Stole the heart of a young lass from East Timor, but wasn't read for love
Second : Had his balls cast in bronze
j_k_redtail : Killed a family with an army of trained foxes
MetalAlien : Firebombed an orphanage
Xal-Shoota : Caught his penis in his zipper, but girls find the scar "cute"
neoism : the King of Bhutan
ronito : Communicates solely through memos with naked women in the header
Thunder Monkey : Can't wait to upgrade from figs to plums
Gooster : Believes his penis has a USB slot, has yet to be proven wrong
WanderingWind : Believes women are weak and insignificant, and that tipping is mandatory no matter what
Andrex :masturbates to pictures of Abraham Lincoln and has no idea why
PounchEnvy : Believes rain is a terrible omen if one plans to masturbate
LabouredSubterfuge : Has three kids, none are his.
Amakusa : Doesnt understand the number 3
speedpop : Wanted to add another o to his name but hit submit too fast
beelzebozo : Believes you can lead a horse to water, but its takes three men to drown it
Freshmaker : Opened a Romanian bar. Is not Romanian.
btkadams : Has an intense distrust of curly haired people
NinjaFridge : Doesnt trust cordless phones
Jangaroo : Believes mulch is is for sissies
Plywood : Makes porn for the blind
Dr.Funk : Is a licensed doctor, but only in Guyana
El Sloth : Wears red to funerals
Aesius : Googled his name, fapped to what he found
-viper- : Owns a flower shop that only sells birthday cards
Xeke : believes a sticky keyboard is a sign of dedication
scorcho : Washes his grandmothers back every other day
Jeramii : Cant chew gum and walk at the same time, because of moral objections
Rich Uncle Skeleton : Flip cup champion three years running
Fimbulvetr : Raised in a van down by the river
OnPoint : Refuses to stop and smell the roses for fear of bees
TacticalFox88 : Collects feces samples, displays in dinning room.
zhenming : Shot a Mongolian lady for talking funny at him
Irish : Scottish
Jesus Carbomb : Believes metal alloys are the work of the devil
flintstryker : Does not appreciate your jibber jabber
Pterion : Hates jesus for being lucky enough to ride dinosaurs
ultron87 : Knows nobody named Greg, never wants to.
Memphis Reigns : Was once told to tuck his balls back in
cooljeanius : Will stop the world to dance with you, but only for the electric slide
Alucard : Fired from Olive Garden for tossing salads
Raging Spaniard : Killed three Portuguese men for stealing his crops
weekend_warrior : Strangled a small childlike man for breathing too loud
Gouty : Prefers his beer non alcoholic and his women alcoholic
Atramental : Lives his life in the nude, but in his dreams is over dressed
jakncoke : Believes China is a hoax and doesnt really exist
Jackson50 : Refuses to call his penis anything other than my kablamy
OuterWorldVoice : Knows that mole on your ass is cancerous, but is never going to inform you
Assembly Required : Had a stick fight with Steve Jobs over a large chested woman.
DY_nasty : Exclusively eats Charleston Chews, in the nude.
hermit7 : Enjoys the scent of burning flesh, especially childrens
GrotesqueBeauty : Killed his family in a rage over unbreaded chicken breasts
gdt5016 : Has never met a penis that rubbed him the wrong way
Tkawsome : Has never been the county fair, for fear of farm animals
Brazil : Paraguayan
ruuk : Trains lemurs as bomb sniffers, is losing money.
Skiptastic : Beat up an elderly man in a fight over peanut butter
pirata : His initial Xbox console designs were rejected as being too torrid
Otrebor Nightmarecoat : Kicked out of Starship Jefferson for asking what the fuck are we doing?
blame space : Resents his vagina, but enjoys the late day scent
DigitalDevil : Tells girls his penis is downloadable content
Tarazet : Proud mother of no children
koam : Likes his women like he likes his coffee...locked in a cage and tortured
stupei : Drives a Reliant Robin on 22s, badly.
Self Induced : Invented the little piece of plastic that you remove from the mouth of tropicana juice boxes.
somnific : Has never masturbated, but not for lack of trying
BobsRevenge : Loves no man like he loves Tim Curry in the nude
exarkun : Eats earwax, believes it will make him immortal
J@hranimo : Founded Mitsubishi Motors using hush money from Michael Jackson
Joe Prodigy : Kicked Chuck Norris in the face
Feep : Lives in his own personal hell, because its rent controlled
Calantus : On a celery and heroin diet
GCX : Believes date rape is only ok after the 6th date
DominoKid : Lost an arm in a terrible knitting accident
TheQueensOwn : Applies aloe vigorously to his groin during playtime
Karram : Tried to kill the cast of Jersey Shore
Nameless : Doesnt believe in eyelids
The Take Out Bandit : Turned on by blue cheese and andy dick
Letters : Taught himself to read and kill, not in that order
industrian : Is convinced it is indeed a tumor
Lard : Doesnt understand the context of the song ebony and ivory
Staccat0 : Got beat up for pronouncing oil without the i
Servizio : Got a divorce to obtain citizenship, doesnt understand citizenship.
Nishastra : Remembers what it was like in the womb
Ferga : Had his act stolen by Biz Markie
Exilexc : Doesnt love you in that way anymore
Dynamite Ringo Matsuri : Speaks fluent Hungarian, doesnt know how or why.
DeathbyVolcano : Wore his first pair of skinny jeans in 2003, has been unable to get them off ever since.
Metalic Sand : Has a third nipple, its the only functional one
soultron : Killed two women with one stone when he misheard a popular cliche
Snuggler : Planning a revolutionary social networking site called molesterbook
subrock : Never loved and never lost but had lots of anonymous sex
Arthrus : Love gives him uncontrollable flatulence.
i_am_ben : Jerks off into a sippy cup
Combine : Lost a eye when he told his girlfriend to stop transforming into optimos cunt
user_nat : fears that words will drift away without a _ to anchor them together.
hateradio : Was driven out of jockey school for being too tall
Assembly Required : Slept with Martha Stewart, went bareback.
Seda : Shit his pants on a dare, still lost the dare
samus i am : wipes before pooping, swears by it.
SalsaShark : Had sex with a bowl of brown rice when it insulted his manhood
Galactic Quail : Refuses to speak words with more than two syllables.
Vard : Believes Mr.Rogers touched him in inappropriate places
Faxanadu : Has the record for most penises viewed on chatroulette
threenote : Once dumped a significant other for farting in his eye
Yasae : Ghostwrote the screenplay for Piranhas 3D, original draft had 30% more crotch shots
wmat : Poops on his own kitchen counter when agitated.
firestorm : Doesnt love the way he used to
Net_Wrecker : Dreams of a Ducktails/Gummi bears/animal porn hybrid
cosmicblizzard : Believes animated avatars are the work of the devil
Drkirby : Trained the bear Blackace killed.
big ander : Speaks by reciting Jon Bon Jovi lyrics
Rahxephon91 : Makes up fake musical instruments to tell girls he plays
Lucius86 : Convinced Miracle on Ice is the name of a Scarface sequel
Arjen : filled with rage, hate, and love.
DMPrince : Got into a slapfight with Ted Danson
UFRA : Sells Snoop Dogg skin cream and moisturizer. And weed.
MidgarBlowedUp : Laughed when Aeris died
Himuro : Has no idea where to buy a duckroll, but really wants to eat one
Crakatak187 : Invented captchas, laughs about it
kpop100 : Screams fuck yo couch whenever he sits on any couch
Flying_Phoenix : Believes gerbils get a bad rap. They never bite his rectum.
BlueTsunami : Gets rockhard whenever wilford brimley is on screen
Tence : Insists all bow before his cock, none do.
Nightshade1765 : This man will fuck you with a pine cone you son of a bitch
ILikeFeet : Lost his soul in a game of roshambo
AnkitT : Will never ever forgive you for what you have done to him
Kentpaul : Went to college to bang professors, professors had same idea. Tears fell.
Teh Hamburglar : Brushes his teeth with pure dick extract
ChiTownBuffalo : Gave a bag of weed and a 20 dollar bill to some dude for a pit-bull that wasnt his
SmokyDave : Lost a pit-bull when someone traded it away for weed and a 20
RadioHeadAche : Needs a firm grip on his nutsack before he can focus on his work.
Nonoriri : Hangs out in mens restrooms, not for the dick, for the smell.
wizword : Has never been higher than he is right now
EvaPlusMinus : Hates the person below
J Tourettes : Hates the person above
Truant : Got bark rash on his crotch, wont tell anybody how
Pkm : Kills what he eats with his bare hands
Puddles : Sold his guitar for hooker money
itsinmyveinds : Will shit in your salad, for a small fee
Socreges : Barely conscious when he faps
Zaptruder : Killed three home invaders who turned out to be Jehovahs witnesses
lightless_shade : Fucks like a porn star, but parties like a mormon
Monocle : Trains dogs to attack people wearing jean vests
Kurtofan : Urine tastes like crystal lite
Dirtyshubb : Will die at the hands of chinese bakers
Oblivion : Born the child of a preacher in the church of barney
Kite : Gets naked at the drop of a hat
Gomu Gomu : Original inspiration for the predators face.
Baki : Enjoys throwing glass shards into peoples eyes
Solo : Prefers his women shaken, not talking.
PetriP-TNT : Hates kittens, puppies, and soft things
J.M.Romeo : Created the Internet
friskykillface : Pees off rooftops
Enosh : Will never be the same again, but doesnt know why
Goya : Killed Patrick Swayze during a pants off dance off
ChubbyHuggs : Hates you more than you know
Fersis : Pushing for a prolonged ground war with Chile
Holy Order Sol :Touches himself in awkward situations
LosDaddie : Plays a wicked game of strip checkers
pnjtony : Almost talked Bob Dylan into trying rap
MarkMclovin : Intensely resents those with avatars and tags
Shard : Put all his hopes and dreams into the Atari Jaguar
Funky Functionality : Axed a puppy in the face
lawblob : Argued the case dead hooker vs. neogaf. Got gaf cleared.
PhoncipleBone : He dont love no hoes
DemiMatt : He do love those hoes
Steppenwolf : Terrified of lamp shades
Casual Gamera : Is secretly the Trojan man
Bisnic : Native American name is poops with pride
FLEABttn : Gets excited whenever he sees User CP at the top of page
K.Jack : Believes boxer-briefs are when you wear briefs under your boxers
dude : Shaves his pubic area into cute animal shapes
Reigun : Is responsible for hamburger flavored Doritos.
aidan : Was run out of his neighborhood for wearing a silk cape
Takao : Will never ever let you hit that
Wads :Only answers to HPOA
Xun : Calls genitals warts love bumps
Takao : Only has your best interests in mind...promise
the walrus : Refuses to hold you after buttsex
Burli : Opened a sex slave delivery service
cowphoenix : has a thing for three legged dogs
Trip Warhawkins : Is personally offended by Flipside pretzel crackers
Desiato : Always heard the saying as put all your balls on the table. Has had many awkward situations.
Krelian : Believes time runs on a slight curve, similar to his penis
lunarworks : Will never forget that day, that damn damn damn day
AcridMeat : Makes love like everybody is looking
Charron :Has slap her with a dick tattooed on his chest
Monroeski :Puts the pussy on a pedestal, but only for its artistic merit
Yes I made that all up in my twisted mind, and yes I have too much time on my hands :lol .
I posted this in the How do you think people on Gaf perceive you? thread.
I tried to get everybody who posted in there, so if you aren't on here, that is why.
How I perceive the posters on gaf...
viciouskillersquirrel : Exclusively eats with a spork
kai3345 : Smells like cheese and lemons
Lionel Mandrake : Tried to ride a badger, lost a toe
mysticwhip : Killed a hooker
Veidt : Ate a part of his own buttocks
Dresden : Once got laid for urinating on a homeless man
Rafa=FedKilla : Has killed no feds, but did kill a parking attendant
EschatonDX : Once got into a vicious fistfight with a coat hanger
Dali : Not only has a penis, but it smells like lilacs too
ZeroRay : Wears a necklace with giraffe testicles on it
pmj : Best friend is an ear of corn
Woffls : Often mistakenly exchanges O's for A's
LovingSteam : Was in the room when Kobe raped that white girl
Count Dookkake : Had sex with a girl with no legs
G-Fex : Tried to have sex with an empty can of fresca
Mechanical Snowman : Parents used to make love in his bed while he slept
Cyan : Has a thing for women with no nipples
Dabookerman : Believes buttsex can get you pregnant
Medalion : Has a silver medal in curling
Threi : Really likes the color chartreuse. Like...a lot. Like...in a creepy way.
Zeke : Strangled a child with a naruto headband
crazy monkey : Eats grass
RbBrdMan : Defeated Jay Z in a rap battle
Zapages : Throws lightbulbs at pigeons
ZephyrFate : Can and does lick his own elbow
Empty : Had a passionate affair with his friend's grandmother
elrechazao : Dreams of giving adult male circumcisions for a living
whitehawk : Can kill a man with a empty box of triscuits
plasmasd : Has a goat, loves that goat like family
Hawkian : Once snorted a line of salt
Timber : Hid in a car trunk for no reason other than he liked the carpeting.
RubxQub : Dreams of learning Swahili and teaching the language in Finland.
vicissitudes : Believes his father is Joe Pesci
evil solrac v3.0 : Killed V.1 and V.2 in a threeway sex romp gone horribly wrong
Smiles and Cries : Believes every time you smile or cry, a baby gets aborted
moojito : Sold crack to school children to fund his porcelain doll collection
Mr. Sam : Has an intense distrust of hats
shuri : Plays a mean sousaphone, but only when drunk and horny
disappeared : Believes a half eaten banana murdered his best friend
PhoncipleBone : can eat a bag of sunflower seeds using just his asscheeks and big toe
mcrae : Always wears a fanny pack filled with skinless grapes
Rekwest : Prefers to cripple rather than kill
X26 : Fed his grandmother pizza when she had a heart attack
Blair : Slapped a new born for looking at him wrong
Serenade : Donated his left nipple to a good cause
fallengorn : Fighting his own private war against left handed ginger people
Rewrite : Believes 2nd drafts are for child molesters
orioto : Can only get off while wearing two pairs of socks on the right foot.
evlcookie : Knows no joy greater than pooping in a narrow vase
KevinCow : Believes Hitler created rice cakes
Calcaneus : Has the bone density of a small trout
snesfreak : Had a vision of a sideways vagina and spends his life seeking it out
cazosozey : Has never recovered from the removal of pluto as a planet
Trurl : Collects the dreams of the young, mocks the dreams of the old
Meadows : Prefers gently slopping hills
R2D4 : Girlfriend left him for an odd number, never forgave either of them
Mudkips : Killed a hooker when she wouldn't hold him while he wept
Goron2000 : Knows how magnets work, but not rainbows
Megadragon15 : Still has a lego stuck in his left nostril
xbhaskarx : Wears his sunglasses at dawn. But never at night.
Yeef : Shot a man in reno, but felt really really bad about it
harSon : Believes his penis controls the weather, may be correct.
Trent Strong : Has a $20,000 pair of lederhosen he won in a game of Parcheesi
Critical Jeff : Will kill over the quality of his canned soup
brain_stew : Has never owned a pair of shorts that didn't hug his ass in just the right way
Rickard : Got fired for putting a "no fat chicks" sign outside his obgyn office.
besada : Has no lips, and is damn proud of it
oneHeero : Is scared of wicker furniture
QuiteWhittle : Let a stripper spit in his mouth for a half jar of pickles
Kaako : Will spin into a psychotic rage at the sight of the number 8
AvidNobody : Talked Amirox into including penises on his drawings.
Jamesfrom818 : Wears a tie with every outfit. EVERY outfit.
demosthenes : Doesn't believe in midgets
Mangoverboard : Has a painting of George Takei in a pink dress that hands proudly in the den
smurfx : Walks like a man, dances like a girl
bigmit3737 : Has the skin of a new born babe, but only on his inner thighs
Skittleguy : Fed a crackhead alka seltzer expecting him to explode
bgassassin : Wears a heart on his sleeve, just not his.
Bleepey : Voiced a rarely featured fraggle named Molesty
salva : Ran a chapter of MS-13 until he decided to open a farm for abandoned ferrets.
Steelrain : Is deathly afraid of bad stitching in leather upholstery
140.85 : Met Jesus once, gave him directions to IHOP
NomarTyme : Believes tentacle rape is underrepresented in hollywood movies.
The_Technomancer : Has one black testicle and one white testicle. They aren't fond of each other.
charsace : Painted his walls an eggshell white without user a primer. The fucking heathen.
dygiT : Has never know love like the love from the letter Y, rough but tender.
Chamber : Took a crap in your flowerbox, forgot to wipe.
SoulPlaya : Believes his kitchen appliances are plotting to rape him
SolarPowered : Is helping kitchen appliances plot to rape some dude
Oozer3993 : Confuses horny with thirsty.
JSnake : Has plans to start a free range farm that will only raise one balled goats
GraveRobberX : Kicked a puppy, but it so deserved it
Snowman Prophet of Doom : Got in a fistfight with a mall santa for giving him the "stink eye"
DonMigs85 : Drives sewage trucks for a living, not for the money, but for the chicks.
Kilrogg : Had a baby with 50 cent, but isn't a millionaire.
RevoDS : Does a revolutionary mix of stand up comedy, yoga and faith healing
Jewbacca : Makes friendship bracelets from his luscious taint hair.
Tobor : Got in a knife fight with two Scandinavian children
Crunched : Was up for the role of Sookie Stackhouse
Pinko Marx : Always carries around a handful of blueberries to throw at children
Byakuya769 : Has never known the love of a beard, and is scared he isn't worthy of said love
Full Recovery : A childhood illness left him unable to taste the color blue
Jeff Albertson : Removes the letter Q from every keyboard he's ever owned.
DMeisterJ : Never learned to ride a bicycle, but can masturbate like a champion.
Jzero15 : Was heartbroken to learn boobs dont actually shoot whip cream
BertramCooper : Spent two weeks in a tee pee but has no memory of it
Salazar : Stole the heart of a young lass from East Timor, but wasn't read for love
Second : Had his balls cast in bronze
j_k_redtail : Killed a family with an army of trained foxes
MetalAlien : Firebombed an orphanage
Xal-Shoota : Caught his penis in his zipper, but girls find the scar "cute"
neoism : the King of Bhutan
ronito : Communicates solely through memos with naked women in the header
Thunder Monkey : Can't wait to upgrade from figs to plums
Gooster : Believes his penis has a USB slot, has yet to be proven wrong
WanderingWind : Believes women are weak and insignificant, and that tipping is mandatory no matter what
Andrex :masturbates to pictures of Abraham Lincoln and has no idea why
PounchEnvy : Believes rain is a terrible omen if one plans to masturbate
LabouredSubterfuge : Has three kids, none are his.
Amakusa : Doesnt understand the number 3
speedpop : Wanted to add another o to his name but hit submit too fast
beelzebozo : Believes you can lead a horse to water, but its takes three men to drown it
Freshmaker : Opened a Romanian bar. Is not Romanian.
btkadams : Has an intense distrust of curly haired people
NinjaFridge : Doesnt trust cordless phones
Jangaroo : Believes mulch is is for sissies
Plywood : Makes porn for the blind
Dr.Funk : Is a licensed doctor, but only in Guyana
El Sloth : Wears red to funerals
Aesius : Googled his name, fapped to what he found
-viper- : Owns a flower shop that only sells birthday cards
Xeke : believes a sticky keyboard is a sign of dedication
scorcho : Washes his grandmothers back every other day
Jeramii : Cant chew gum and walk at the same time, because of moral objections
Rich Uncle Skeleton : Flip cup champion three years running
Fimbulvetr : Raised in a van down by the river
OnPoint : Refuses to stop and smell the roses for fear of bees
TacticalFox88 : Collects feces samples, displays in dinning room.
zhenming : Shot a Mongolian lady for talking funny at him
Irish : Scottish
Jesus Carbomb : Believes metal alloys are the work of the devil
flintstryker : Does not appreciate your jibber jabber
Pterion : Hates jesus for being lucky enough to ride dinosaurs
ultron87 : Knows nobody named Greg, never wants to.
Memphis Reigns : Was once told to tuck his balls back in
cooljeanius : Will stop the world to dance with you, but only for the electric slide
Alucard : Fired from Olive Garden for tossing salads
Raging Spaniard : Killed three Portuguese men for stealing his crops
weekend_warrior : Strangled a small childlike man for breathing too loud
Gouty : Prefers his beer non alcoholic and his women alcoholic
Atramental : Lives his life in the nude, but in his dreams is over dressed
jakncoke : Believes China is a hoax and doesnt really exist
Jackson50 : Refuses to call his penis anything other than my kablamy
OuterWorldVoice : Knows that mole on your ass is cancerous, but is never going to inform you
Assembly Required : Had a stick fight with Steve Jobs over a large chested woman.
DY_nasty : Exclusively eats Charleston Chews, in the nude.
hermit7 : Enjoys the scent of burning flesh, especially childrens
GrotesqueBeauty : Killed his family in a rage over unbreaded chicken breasts
gdt5016 : Has never met a penis that rubbed him the wrong way
Tkawsome : Has never been the county fair, for fear of farm animals
Brazil : Paraguayan
ruuk : Trains lemurs as bomb sniffers, is losing money.
Skiptastic : Beat up an elderly man in a fight over peanut butter
pirata : His initial Xbox console designs were rejected as being too torrid
Otrebor Nightmarecoat : Kicked out of Starship Jefferson for asking what the fuck are we doing?
blame space : Resents his vagina, but enjoys the late day scent
DigitalDevil : Tells girls his penis is downloadable content
Tarazet : Proud mother of no children
koam : Likes his women like he likes his coffee...locked in a cage and tortured
stupei : Drives a Reliant Robin on 22s, badly.
Self Induced : Invented the little piece of plastic that you remove from the mouth of tropicana juice boxes.
somnific : Has never masturbated, but not for lack of trying
BobsRevenge : Loves no man like he loves Tim Curry in the nude
exarkun : Eats earwax, believes it will make him immortal
J@hranimo : Founded Mitsubishi Motors using hush money from Michael Jackson
Joe Prodigy : Kicked Chuck Norris in the face
Feep : Lives in his own personal hell, because its rent controlled
Calantus : On a celery and heroin diet
GCX : Believes date rape is only ok after the 6th date
DominoKid : Lost an arm in a terrible knitting accident
TheQueensOwn : Applies aloe vigorously to his groin during playtime
Karram : Tried to kill the cast of Jersey Shore
Nameless : Doesnt believe in eyelids
The Take Out Bandit : Turned on by blue cheese and andy dick
Letters : Taught himself to read and kill, not in that order
industrian : Is convinced it is indeed a tumor
Lard : Doesnt understand the context of the song ebony and ivory
Staccat0 : Got beat up for pronouncing oil without the i
Servizio : Got a divorce to obtain citizenship, doesnt understand citizenship.
Nishastra : Remembers what it was like in the womb
Ferga : Had his act stolen by Biz Markie
Exilexc : Doesnt love you in that way anymore
Dynamite Ringo Matsuri : Speaks fluent Hungarian, doesnt know how or why.
DeathbyVolcano : Wore his first pair of skinny jeans in 2003, has been unable to get them off ever since.
Metalic Sand : Has a third nipple, its the only functional one
soultron : Killed two women with one stone when he misheard a popular cliche
Snuggler : Planning a revolutionary social networking site called molesterbook
subrock : Never loved and never lost but had lots of anonymous sex
Arthrus : Love gives him uncontrollable flatulence.
i_am_ben : Jerks off into a sippy cup
Combine : Lost a eye when he told his girlfriend to stop transforming into optimos cunt
user_nat : fears that words will drift away without a _ to anchor them together.
hateradio : Was driven out of jockey school for being too tall
Assembly Required : Slept with Martha Stewart, went bareback.
Seda : Shit his pants on a dare, still lost the dare
samus i am : wipes before pooping, swears by it.
SalsaShark : Had sex with a bowl of brown rice when it insulted his manhood
Galactic Quail : Refuses to speak words with more than two syllables.
Vard : Believes Mr.Rogers touched him in inappropriate places
Faxanadu : Has the record for most penises viewed on chatroulette
threenote : Once dumped a significant other for farting in his eye
Yasae : Ghostwrote the screenplay for Piranhas 3D, original draft had 30% more crotch shots
wmat : Poops on his own kitchen counter when agitated.
firestorm : Doesnt love the way he used to
Net_Wrecker : Dreams of a Ducktails/Gummi bears/animal porn hybrid
cosmicblizzard : Believes animated avatars are the work of the devil
Drkirby : Trained the bear Blackace killed.
big ander : Speaks by reciting Jon Bon Jovi lyrics
Rahxephon91 : Makes up fake musical instruments to tell girls he plays
Lucius86 : Convinced Miracle on Ice is the name of a Scarface sequel
Arjen : filled with rage, hate, and love.
DMPrince : Got into a slapfight with Ted Danson
UFRA : Sells Snoop Dogg skin cream and moisturizer. And weed.
MidgarBlowedUp : Laughed when Aeris died
Himuro : Has no idea where to buy a duckroll, but really wants to eat one
Crakatak187 : Invented captchas, laughs about it
kpop100 : Screams fuck yo couch whenever he sits on any couch
Flying_Phoenix : Believes gerbils get a bad rap. They never bite his rectum.
BlueTsunami : Gets rockhard whenever wilford brimley is on screen
Tence : Insists all bow before his cock, none do.
Nightshade1765 : This man will fuck you with a pine cone you son of a bitch
ILikeFeet : Lost his soul in a game of roshambo
AnkitT : Will never ever forgive you for what you have done to him
Kentpaul : Went to college to bang professors, professors had same idea. Tears fell.
Teh Hamburglar : Brushes his teeth with pure dick extract
ChiTownBuffalo : Gave a bag of weed and a 20 dollar bill to some dude for a pit-bull that wasnt his
SmokyDave : Lost a pit-bull when someone traded it away for weed and a 20
RadioHeadAche : Needs a firm grip on his nutsack before he can focus on his work.
Nonoriri : Hangs out in mens restrooms, not for the dick, for the smell.
wizword : Has never been higher than he is right now
EvaPlusMinus : Hates the person below
J Tourettes : Hates the person above
Truant : Got bark rash on his crotch, wont tell anybody how
Pkm : Kills what he eats with his bare hands
Puddles : Sold his guitar for hooker money
itsinmyveinds : Will shit in your salad, for a small fee
Socreges : Barely conscious when he faps
Zaptruder : Killed three home invaders who turned out to be Jehovahs witnesses
lightless_shade : Fucks like a porn star, but parties like a mormon
Monocle : Trains dogs to attack people wearing jean vests
Kurtofan : Urine tastes like crystal lite
Dirtyshubb : Will die at the hands of chinese bakers
Oblivion : Born the child of a preacher in the church of barney
Kite : Gets naked at the drop of a hat
Gomu Gomu : Original inspiration for the predators face.
Baki : Enjoys throwing glass shards into peoples eyes
Solo : Prefers his women shaken, not talking.
PetriP-TNT : Hates kittens, puppies, and soft things
J.M.Romeo : Created the Internet
friskykillface : Pees off rooftops
Enosh : Will never be the same again, but doesnt know why
Goya : Killed Patrick Swayze during a pants off dance off
ChubbyHuggs : Hates you more than you know
Fersis : Pushing for a prolonged ground war with Chile
Holy Order Sol :Touches himself in awkward situations
LosDaddie : Plays a wicked game of strip checkers
pnjtony : Almost talked Bob Dylan into trying rap
MarkMclovin : Intensely resents those with avatars and tags
Shard : Put all his hopes and dreams into the Atari Jaguar
Funky Functionality : Axed a puppy in the face
lawblob : Argued the case dead hooker vs. neogaf. Got gaf cleared.
PhoncipleBone : He dont love no hoes
DemiMatt : He do love those hoes
Steppenwolf : Terrified of lamp shades
Casual Gamera : Is secretly the Trojan man
Bisnic : Native American name is poops with pride
FLEABttn : Gets excited whenever he sees User CP at the top of page
K.Jack : Believes boxer-briefs are when you wear briefs under your boxers
dude : Shaves his pubic area into cute animal shapes
Reigun : Is responsible for hamburger flavored Doritos.
aidan : Was run out of his neighborhood for wearing a silk cape
Takao : Will never ever let you hit that
Wads :Only answers to HPOA
Xun : Calls genitals warts love bumps
Takao : Only has your best interests in mind...promise
the walrus : Refuses to hold you after buttsex
Burli : Opened a sex slave delivery service
cowphoenix : has a thing for three legged dogs
Trip Warhawkins : Is personally offended by Flipside pretzel crackers
Desiato : Always heard the saying as put all your balls on the table. Has had many awkward situations.
Krelian : Believes time runs on a slight curve, similar to his penis
lunarworks : Will never forget that day, that damn damn damn day
AcridMeat : Makes love like everybody is looking
Charron :Has slap her with a dick tattooed on his chest
Monroeski :Puts the pussy on a pedestal, but only for its artistic merit
Yes I made that all up in my twisted mind, and yes I have too much time on my hands :lol .