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[Iceman]

To our horror, the running gag that was Snakes on a Plane is becoming a reality. Someone recently suggested that GAF write our own script based on this horrid premise to challenge the upcoming, and sure to royally suck, Plane 121.

So let's do this thing.

Here is the premise according to IMDB for the uninitiated: "On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes."


First things first of coure. Let's map out our goals step by step:

Step 1: Decide on the genre and tone of the movie
Step 2: Characters (parts A and B)
Extra credit 1: Character and scene artwork
Step 3: General Plot
Step 4: Specific sequence descriptions
Extra credit 2: Storyboards
Step 5: Dialogue
Step 6: Sign with an agent
Step 7: Sell to a motion picture company and find a director


But let's not get ahead of ourselves. On to step 2, Characters. Part A is the human characters. We need protagonists and antagonists as well incidental characters that we'll just use as snake bait. But of course in order to flesh these people out we need to decide on what kind of movie we'll be making. Serious horror? Straight parody? comedy? Drama? A weird mish mash? Should we pay homages to the great animals terrify humans movies or to the great suspense films or to totally obscure, lesser known GAF/cult favorites?

I'm willing to write a great deal of the script.. but many decisions need to be made before hand (and I need to learn how to write in script-ese).

So suggest away.

 

[xsarien]

I think that if we do this Round Robin style, it would be infinitely more interesting.

 

[Iceman]

Infinity is a big number.

 

[Triumph]

Make sure that Olimario is on the plane and gets eaten by a snake because he's too busy playing his DS to run.

 

[Ecrofirt]

EXT. A SUNNY DAY AT LAX

BROCK JOHNSON, a bald black badass walks toward the camera

BROCK
I'm one bad motherfucker.

CUT TO: INT. A PLANE FILLED WITH SNAKES

BROCK
Snakes, motherfucker! Do you see them?!

THE CAMERA SHOWS BRETT, a scrawny white kid in his 20's

BRETT
Yes.

BROCK
Then you understand what I'm sayin?
It's SNAKES, MOTHERFUCKER! SNAKES!

BROCK shoots BRETT in the chest multiple times.

ROLL CREDITS

 

[Gattsu25]

Gattsu25's Snakes on a Plane:

The genre is stock horror with dark comedy interspersed

The cast will consist of 11 major characters along with numerous bait characters.
Of the main characters, the leads are the Rossetta family.
Mumsy Rossetta (Mother, middle age)
Daddy Rossetta (Mother, late 20s)
Florence Rossetta (boy, 12)
Gasterbaurge Rossetta (girl, age 7)
Senpere Rossetta (boy, infant)

Flying with them on this plane are the following characters:
Mark Mercury (American Tourist, 21)
Jill Mercury (American Tourist, 18)
Sam Mercury (American Tourist Couple's kid, boy, age 6)
Derek Shared (Retired Police Chief, late 40s)
Pilot (Pilot, age 25)
Sharon Stiles (Reporter, age 32)

Of the snakes, there are two 'lead' snakes that will play major roles:
Genetically Enhanced Boa
Blood Red Viper



A brief setting up of the plot follows:

A scientists is filling out a sheet of paper on a clipboard. The room he is in is a dark room with the only source of light coming from an old library-style desk lamp. As he fills out the form he looks up briefly and returns to writing. A brief flash of thunder illuminates the room that he is in to reveal that he is currently in a white walled laboratory with numerous empty animal cages lining the walls. As he flips the page the light browns out for a fragment of a second and a second flash of lighting illuminates the scene. A few seconds later a booming crack of thunder pierces the silence and the man appears to be shaken. He stops writing and looks mournfully down at the papers on the desk in front of him for a moment. He adjusts his glasses and sets the clipboard down on the desk just before he stands out of his chair and walks toward a glass container sitting in a dark corner of the room. The man stares into the darkness inside the glass and affirms himself that his work—his creations—are done…all that is left is up to the labs in New York.

The Rossetta family is waiting in line at the airport for their flight to arrive. This is their first time in America, and they want to make sure that their stay is a magical one…they are on vacation to see the ball drop. The airport is filled with holiday decorations and various people are rushing to their gates. After some difficulty with checking in their luggage, Rossetta family board the plane to enjoy their vacation.

Throwers (the people who put cargo in the plane) are placing the luggage inside of the plane. As the bags pass by, one of them sees an expensive suitcase, shows the others and opens it. As he opens the luggage, his face lights up and he throws the suitcase on the floor to show the others what he found. Inside is a Nintendo DS, the failed handheld, he states, is now a commodity and extremely rare (most people traded them in for the newer Game Boy Revolution). Not only can he make several thousand by selling this on to the highest bidder, but the DS is still in the box, unopened. The others stare in awe and after noticing that they are behind schedule, rapidly toss in the rest of the luggage. One of the luggage particles that they toss in hit a strap that is holding down a large wooden crate.

The plane departs. While achieving maximum altitude, the plane experiences brief turbulence and Father Rossetta quietly curses as he spills his drink all over his shirt. In the cargo hold, a large briefcase falls atop corner of the wooden crate and and the crate is opened slightly. The Rossetta family is quietly finding things to do to occupy their time. The man in front of them, Derek Shared, is busy talking to someone on a phone. “Mr. Olimar--err…sir--the package is with me…yes, I packaged it myself. Why…thank you, Oli—sir!.” Mumsy Rossetta tries to fall asleep.

An undetermined amount of time passes and many of the occupants of the plane are falling asleep. Amid the quiet vacationists, Florence Rossetta is playing “peek-a-boo” with his infant brother. Mumsy Rossetta feels something smooth rub against her leg and smirms uncomfortably in her sleep. A deep red snake, 5 feet long, slithers toward Mumsy. A loud shriek is heard throughout the entire plane as Florence flails wildly in horror. Mumsy and Father immediately awaken and look to see why he is screaming and are horrified to see that Senpere Rossetta has a large snake attached to his neck. As Florence tries frantically to remove the snake the infant’s throaght is torn apart and the snake hisses angrily before writhing itself from Florence’s grip. At around this time, the other passengers begin screaming uncorntrollably and one of them gets out of his seat and runs into the darkness toward the front of the plane. Just as the shadows enshroud him a sickening crunch is heard along with sounds of tearing flesh and dripping blood. Without even having enough time to scream his arm falls to the floor, limp. Horrified and open-mouthed passengers stare in horror as a large serpent mouth wraps itself around his shoulder. In just a moment the large snake slithers off with the body, leaving behind a deep smear of blood as dark as pitch.

Tell me what you guys think…I might continue this after I receive some ideas from you guys…

 

[COCKLES]

EXT. A SUNNY DAY AT LAX

BROCK JOHNSON, a bald black badass walks toward the camera

BROCK
I'm one bad motherfucker.

CUT TO: INT. A PLANE FILLED WITH SNAKES

BROCK
Snakes, motherfucker! Do you see them?!

THE CAMERA SHOWS BRETT, a scrawny white kid in his 20's

BRETT
Yes.

BROCK
Then you understand what I'm sayin?
It's SNAKES, MOTHERFUCKER! SNAKES!

BROCK shoots BRETT in the chest multiple times.

ROLL CREDITS

EXT. ABOVE THE CLOUDS. DAY

Title card:-

11 HOURS LATER.

A BOEING 737 arcs it's way across the skyscape. Out view is masked in shadow, as the pearl white
of the aircraft suddenly darkens, A VAST ALIEN SHAPE descending.

INT. BOEING 737 CARGO HOLD. DAY.

ANGLE ON - CARGO DOOR. The gloom is illuminated by the sparks from a blowtorch. Slowly but surely
cutting a vauge mansize opening in the metal. With a LOUD CRASH the 'door' is blown open.

Through the smoke and debris a figure emerges through the newly created opening. Dressed in what
would almost be described as a SECOND SKIN, the lithe and atheletic figure removes it's helmet to
reveal...MAJOR CASSANDRA SMYTHE-KENSINGTON - TRANS-TEMPORAL SECURITY AGENT EARTH-FED.

SMYTHE-KENSINGTON:
Bloody hell. I hate dealing with these snakeheads.

Following her is PRIVATE RICHARD BARKLEY. Dressed in similar fatigues.

BARKLEY:
Traynor and Williams are busy with Nepoleon. We're on the shitty duty.

KENSINGTON:
I've got a real bad feeling about this...

BARKLEY:
Their only snakes. What's the worst that could happ...ppe...nn....

Barkley stops mid-sentence...blood gurgling from his mouth as the hideous visage of a GIANT KILLER SNAKE smashes through his spine and through his stomach.

KENSINGTON:
God damn!!

....

 

[Warm Machine]

Why Snakes? Scientists are looking into genetically modified snake venom as a medical cure-all. This cure all of course neutralizes the poisonous effects of the venom.

Why Snakes on a Plane? The snake breeding facility is located in the jungles of south america where many of the most dangerous snakes live. They are being transported to a lab in Australia via the south pole.

What kind of plane? Probably some kind of cool container type airplane with lots of gear and boxes and things for the snakes to get into.

How do the snakes get loose? Turbulence rocks the snake containers back and forth until the thing breaks open

How would you deal with it? Suck them out of the plane by depressurizing it or part of it.

Who HAS to die? The pilot has to die thrusting a tertiary character into the role of temporary pilot.

Why doesn't the plane just land when the snakes get loose? Well, its over the north pole and landing the plane would have everyone ending up frozen to death.

Why does the main character survive? ?

Who is the cool secondary character that we invest a lot in but dies anyway? He's the guy who injects himself with the anti venom so he can go into the mass of hungry snakes to pull off a daring plan.

What else can we do with this idea? Somewhere in the cargo is a type of parachute like device.

 

[Iceman]

We could basically make this a titanic type story for the Boeing 777... with snakes in stead of icebergs?

 

[Bob White]

:lol

I guess these would be type A characters. I dont really want to do the main characters so I'll add some characters that might add some fun to the plane.

Some old guy who used to be in the army. He's a jaded old bastard who knows how to kill people. But the thing is, the plane is full of fucking snakes. So he'll have to adapt his people killing skills for snakes.

A black guy from africa that wants to be a rapper. He idolizes Eminem. Since he's from Africa, he knows a little about snakes, but whenever people ask him about them, all he wants to do is freestyle.

Some dude who thinks he's going to get superpowers because he was splashed with toxic waste before he got on the plane. He's an average guy who wants to help people but since he think he has powers, he keeps doing stupid stuff that almost gets him killed. Throughout the movie his body slowly falls apart because of the toxic waste. When he understands that the waste is killing him, and towards the end of the film, he fucking finally gets superpowers and saves a few people. But just as he saves the power, a snake kills him.

A doctor who is bitten early in the film by a poisonous snake and is mad at the world for it. Since the poison is slow acting, the doc has to go through the whole flick knowing he's going to die in a few hours. And since he's pissed at that, he refuses to help the other people on the plane with stuff he knows. He just sit backs and watches as the snakes fuck around and kill people.

If these are any good and some more characters are needed I'll be glad to help make them. I've written a few scripts so I'd love to help make this joint.

Oh, and MAF should be the pilot.

For tone, something like metal gear mixed with scary movie would rock. It would be a goof movie that gets serious but still never forgets that its still a movie.

 

[Ollie Pooch]

i want one of the snakes to turn good, taking control of the plane and landing it safely.