When I was a kid, I programmed about a billion BASIC/assembler games on my family's Apple II. Most of these were completely retarded, of course. A couple of them:
Kamikaze: Fly your unarmed Japanese plane, avoiding the US planes that are trying to shoot you down, make it to the enemy fleet, and crash it into the enemy battleship. If you hit the ship at a good angle, you'll sink it! THE END.
Continental Drift: For some reason that could be easily explained in some shitty sci-fi novel, you are experiencing time at an extremely slow rate. Because of this, the continents are drifting at an extremely fast pace! Jump from one piece of land to another, (I guess you're also really fucking huge) as the continents split and move around, and avoid falling in the acid oceans (uh...) while avoiding these... things... that, uh, chase you? (um, sentient glaciers?) Okay, this one was REALLY retarded, but the continents moving and breaking up was cool, AM I RITE?
Then there was the one I never got around to making, although I had it pretty well worked out in my head. We had a labrador/german shepherd mix dog, and she shat all over the damn lawn. It was my job to scoop poop and mow the lawn, and for some ungodly dumb reason I thought it would make a good game. Basically, you have a backyard, where the grass keeps growing, and there's a dog that runs around it, periodically taking a shit. You have a pooper scooper and a lawnmower, and you can only use one at a time. If you run over poop with the lawnmower, you get stalled for a bit, and if a patch of grass grows too tall, the game is over. I had some other ideas about also needing to keep the dog fed and bag the clippings, but that's about the gist of it. Instead of actually making this game, I just decided that the best thing to do with a lawn is to pour acid on it, and it's better to have a cat for a pet because they know how to bury their shit.
