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Has anyone ever gone to prison?

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Pimpwerx

Member
Been overnight in county a couple times. Got to sample the best jail food Dade and Broward have to offer. Let me tell you...it's not really fun. It smells, and most of the time is spent just waiting. Keep in mind I was just in there for misdemeanors and so not doing any serious time or nothing. Just in the overcrowded misdemeanor cells trying to sleep sitting up with wrists sore from the cuffs, and the mild throbbing from the hangover from the night of drinking that landed me in the clink in the first place. :lol Note to self, SoBe cops don't like being verbally assaulted in public. They take it a little personal, and have no problem dishing out an equal amount of physical damage in return.

To land in prison, you need to be a repeat offender (aka a retard), or done something really bad. Either way, if a night in county is enough to harden a man, I can't imagine what an extended stay at a federal resort is like. PEACE.
 

Manics

Banned
LOL. I didn't post this topic because I'm planning on going to prison and need advice. I was just curious to see if anyone on the board had ever been to prison.
 

way more

Member
I did a couple of nights in county. The smell is the worst part but by and large everyone was pretty easy going. There was one guy there who was awaiting to go to prison. He just said he was pretty scared, then laughed it off.
 

jobber

Would let Tony Parker sleep with his wife
I use to go all the time......


FOR WORK



I've been to 27 different correctional centers in the past 7 years. It's not scary at all anymore. I wonder why people get that perception. I feel safer inside the prison than my own hood.
 

calder

Member
Manics said:
LOL. I didn't post this topic because I'm planning on going to prison and need advice. I was just curious to see if anyone on the board had ever been to prison.

BAIT AND SWITCH. :|

Now we have to hope other ppl post about their clink time to save this thread.

Most of the guys I know who spent a night in jail were blind drunk when they got there and still pretty tipsy when they left so they didn't really form much of an opinion of it. Although one of my brothers friends was sleeping it off when some "scary looking" homeless guy pushed him off the bunk and yelled at him to sleep on the floor 'like a dog' because all the bunks, empty or not, were his. Kyle was all scared and totally intimidated (and still very hammered), but then the next morning when he woke up and the crazy hobo was standing there Kyle realized he was about a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than the old, scrawny little boozer. Unsurprisingly the other dude was much, much nicer. :lol
 

way more

Member
We need to make the distinction from holding cell and jail or prison. I didn't serve my time just to be compared to some drunk whinos! They said it'd be like this on the outside.
 

FiRez

Member
If you're really interested in the details of long-term prison life, you can start by reading this pamphlet on protective pairing , which is distributed to new inmates by the organization Stop Prisoner Rape. It's pretty scary, though. Note to self--stay out of prison.

That reminds me OZ and I tought that it was very exagerated.
 

Zaptruder

Banned
Prospero said:
If you're really interested in the details of long-term prison life, you can start by reading this pamphlet on "protective pairing", which is distributed to new inmates by the organization Stop Prisoner Rape. It's pretty scary, though. Note to self--stay out of prison.

... Aaaaaahhhhhh ... ahhhhhh ... AAaaaaahhhhh... AAaaahhhhhh!!!!

Note to self -- stay the fuck away from prison at all costs.
 

shuri

Banned
Even If I had to spend 20 years in prison, raping another dude would be the las thing to cross my mind If I had some pressure to let go. Jesus.

As a new punk you won't know diddly-squat about your sexual duties, so here are a few practical tips: to avoid AIDS, learn to suck dick. In fact, learn it so well you can do deep throat and he'll forget all about your ass
................ :(
 

evil ways

Member
Prospero said:
If you're really interested in the details of long-term prison life, you can start by reading this pamphlet on "protective pairing", which is distributed to new inmates by the organization Stop Prisoner Rape. It's pretty scary, though. Note to self--stay out of prison.

Sweet Jesus. I would find a way to get myself killed before ever having to spend a single night in jail.
 
Reminds me of the clip they always play on Stern...

"You wanna play? We'll play. And we'll play hard, too!"

:lol


*note to self: suicide before prison*
 

Ferny84

Banned
heavy liquid said:
Reminds me of the clip they always play on Stern...

"You wanna play? We'll play. And we'll play hard, too!"

:lol


*note to self: suicide before prison*

That sound clip is hilarious :lol

<whip is heard>

high pitched eric: wub wub wub wub>

high pitched eric: <moans>
 

bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
Jacobi said:
That link scares me to death. Wouldn't have thought I'd ever say that but thanks god I'm german
They'll assfuck you in German prisons too, buddy. 'Cept there you don't smoke sausage, you smoke bratwurst.
 

Lil' Dice

Banned
The basic fact of the matter is that most males, when separated from females, and especially when they're young and full of sex hormones which make them horny all the time, can become sexually aroused at the thought of penetrating anyone, regardless of their real sex. The nerves which produce pleasure in the dick don't ask if it's a girl's mouth, a boy's mouth; an ass or a pussy. For these guys to be turned on and horny doesn't really require any kind of feminine qualities in you, though the jockers usually prefer to imagine such qualities so they won't have to think of their attraction as homosexual. That's why they'll try to tell you you have feminine qualities even if it's not true.

:lol

It's funny because it's true.
 

Brannon

Member
I suppose shitting oneself constantly wouldn't be enough to dissuade the more determined jailpussy pirates?
 

Brannon

Member
I see...

Option A) [ ] Get really really nasty and undesirable.
Option B) [x]Stay out of prison in the first place.
Option C) [ ] Summon Bahumut and hide...

B) it is!
 
If he fucks your skull so hard you think you're about to pass out from asphyxiation, you should grab his legs and signal your distress. Most likely he'll be about to come and won't let up, but it'll be over real soon.

Now you know...
 

marsomega

Member
Pimpwerx said:
Been overnight in county a couple times. Got to sample the best jail food Dade and Broward have to offer. Let me tell you...it's not really fun. It smells, and most of the time is spent just waiting. Keep in mind I was just in there for misdemeanors and so not doing any serious time or nothing. Just in the overcrowded misdemeanor cells trying to sleep sitting up with wrists sore from the cuffs, and the mild throbbing from the hangover from the night of drinking that landed me in the clink in the first place. :lol Note to self, SoBe cops don't like being verbally assaulted in public. They take it a little personal, and have no problem dishing out an equal amount of physical damage in return.

To land in prison, you need to be a repeat offender (aka a retard), or done something really bad. Either way, if a night in county is enough to harden a man, I can't imagine what an extended stay at a federal resort is like. PEACE.


DADE and Broward! Your in my area! Actually not really I'm stay in the good areas cause I'm good. :D
 

Days like these...

Have a Blessed Day
Ok so that web site teaches you how to be a "punk" to avoid getting gang raped. Why doesn't it teach you how to be "Daddy" so you wont take it up the ass at all?
 

Ghost

Chili Con Carnage!
I was reading some interview with some big time british criminal in a mens magazine, the subject of butt secks came up and the guy said it doesnt really happen in British jails because the majority of the inmates are so homophobic that they'd probably kill anyone that tried it.

So for once it pays off to live in a country full of bigots.
 

evil ways

Member
Days like these... said:
Ok so that web site teaches you how to be a "punk" to avoid getting gang raped. Why doesn't it teach you how to be "Daddy" so you wont take it up the ass at all?

All daddy's were punks once as well, unless they went into prison as part of a well known crime posse. This woman that used to live next to and chat with my grandmother all the time had 2 sons that were criminals, everything from murders, to drugs and money laundering. She used to tell my grandmother how she gave them bills of cash rolled up inside balloons so they could handle their business inside prison and pay for better accomodations.

Nobody ever laid a finger on them cause they were close with local known drug and crime posses. Funny thing is that in jail they were both nearly living like kings, but a few days after one of them got out, he was silenced permanently.
 

whytemyke

Honorary Canadian.
anyone ever seen The 25th Hour with Ed Norton and done by Spike Lee? It's one of the best films you'll see about a topic like this.

Ed Norton in 25th Hour said:
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J!

Russian Mob Boss from the same movie said:
I have been in three different prisons, Montgomery. Three different countries. And you know what I learned? I learned prison is a bad place to be.

Same Mob boss said:
This is my advice to you: When you get there, figure it out who's who. Find the man nobody's protecting. A man without friends. And beat him until his eyes bleed. Let them think you are little bit crazy, but respectful, too. Respectful of the right men.
 

capslock

Is jealous of Matlock's emoticon
m523.gif
 
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