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[Keihart]

I hate most reviews, of anything, because they tend to focus on telling you what happens in the movie/game/book instead of talking about the movie/game/book.
I really don't get it, is it just me? i find it so meaningless and can't understand who would want this format.

Scenario 1, If i haven't watched/played/read it, i don't want to get spoiled!
Scenario 2, If i already watched/played/read it, i have no need for someone to retell me the whole thing, i want some insights or opinions at worst about it!

What are they thinking?!

 

[nush]

I really don't get it,

I don't get your post.

 

[DeepEnigma]

I just bite the pillow and watch Half in the Bag.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

im enemy of gaming reviews

 

[Keihart]

I just bite the pillow and watch Half in the Bag.

Long videos but at least they don't fall on the retelling of the movie scene by scene.
I've watched some of their videos too.

 

[Gifmaker]

Reviews / critics / analysis need a flow and structure. Following along the plotpoints of the movie/game in chronological order provides such in a convenient fashion.

However, I do agree to a certain extent. If I know what the movie is about, I don't need to be told what the movie is about. However, if I don't know about it, it's helpful to get a recap on things, because otherwise I wouldn't know what's going on. If I don't know about it and don't wanna get spoiled... I won't watch a review of it?

 

[dr_octagon]

The film was outstanding, a breath of fresh air and a unique take on a series, engaging with lead actor. Unafraid of dealing with some serious themes, director challenges the audience. Nothing prepares you for this, I cried, stood and cheered. It's absolutely everything you would hope it would be. I can't wait for you to see it.

 

[Perry Simm but in space]

I agree 100% with OP.

I get why reviewers do it. Summarizing the plot and then saying "I liked/didn't like it" at the end requires virtually no effort. But I don't get why someone would want to read/watch that.

 

[Spaceman292]

The film was outstanding, a breath of fresh air and a unique take on a series, engaging with lead actor. Unafraid of dealing with some serious themes, director challenges the audience. Nothing prepares you for this, I cried, stood and cheered. It's absolutely everything you would hope it would be. I can't wait for you to see it.

It has something for everyone. It left me speechless. It's the movie that we need right now.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

I agree 100% with OP.

I get why reviewers do it. Summarizing the plot and then saying "I liked/didn't like it" at the end requires virtually no effort. But I don't get why someone would want to read/watch that.

Agreed, it's lazy writing that adds very little. You are not trying to analyze the work or medium, you simply go: 'Here's the plot, I liked/didn't like it'.

I remember multiple page article about the Cradle level in Thief: Deadly Shadows - that was some serious writing. It's here: http://gillen.cream.org/thecradle.pdf

Geoff features 'The Last Hours of...' are also great.

 

[TrueLegend]

I am actually starting a review channel because of this. Truly non-spoiler short reviews to put expectations and things delivered in-game in proper context, that's all you need. I wrote one on Shadow of the Tomb Raider spoiling nothing but telling who the game is for what elements are done right just to test the format. Was planning to Start with Kena but well I am stuck on Windows 11 Release Preview testing. Will probably make one on Windows 11 known issues and improvements to help people make their own decision.

My issue is that even if they don't spoil the game they are reviewing or talking about, they sometimes spoil the ending or twist of some other recent game. 'Gameranx' is the worst offender.....and the thing is, there are channels like 'Outside Xbox' that give you a spoiler warning. And man then there are guys like 'Shirako' posting ending one day after in thumbnail, guy spoiled Arkham city ending to me the next day after launch.

 

[Raven117]

Perhaps just find a few reviewers you like that have reviewed things you have already seen and see if you have similar tastes....

From then on...just see what they ultimately thought of it for things you haven't seen. Boom. Done.

Or, just make your own mind up.

Up to you.

 

[dr_octagon]

I'd like film ratings to measured against crimes

No time to die is credit card fraud, Tron Legacy is robbery, Godather 3 is Nuremberg etc.

 

[Keihart]

I am actually starting a review channel because of this. Truly non-spoiler short reviews to put expectations and things delivered in-game in proper context, that's all you need. I wrote one on Shadow of the Tomb Raider spoiling nothing but telling who the game is for what elements are done right just to test the format. Was planning to Start with Kena but well I am stuck on Windows 11 Release Preview testing. Will probably make one on Windows 11 known issues and improvements to help people make their own decision.

My issue is that even if they don't spoil the game they are reviewing or talking about, they sometimes spoil the ending or twist of some other recent game. 'Gameranx' is the worst offender.....and the thing is, there are channels like 'Outside Xbox' that give you a spoiler warning. And man then there are guys like 'Shirako' posting ending one day after in thumbnail, guy spoiled Arkham city ending to me the next day after launch.

My gripe with the format is that i gain nothing from someone summarizing the content if i'm looking to either decide if i'm interested in the content or want some insight on it, feels like a complete waste of time.
I have the expectation that a "Review" is somehow a critique or dissection of something, but what you often get is more like a long winded summary.

(I know of "reviewers" that i like, but my rant is about how i think the "Review" tag is actually being miss-used to label things that are hardly actual reviews and just summaries i guess)

 

[poppabk]

The film was outstanding, a breath of fresh air and a unique take on a series, engaging with lead actor. Unafraid of dealing with some serious themes, director challenges the audience. Nothing prepares you for this, I cried, stood and cheered. It's absolutely everything you would hope it would be. I can't wait for you to see it.

See this is why content free reviews don't work. You need some detail to be able to 'review' the reviewer. Maybe they love the fact that the ending is left open to interpretation (you hate that), they adore the strong female lead and then tell you how she has to decide between the bad boy and the sweet dependable guy (and you think it is the hallmark of crappy YA writing), they explain an extremely funny scene (which sounds painfully unfunny), they love the banter between the characters and give an example of an exchange (you love this kind of thing) etc.

 

[Keihart]

See this is why content free reviews don't work. You need some detail to be able to 'review' the reviewer. Maybe they love the fact that the ending is left open to interpretation (you hate that), they adore the strong female lead and then tell you how she has to decide between the bad boy and the sweet dependable guy (and you think it is the hallmark of crappy YA writing), they explain an extremely funny scene (which sounds painfully unfunny), they love the banter between the characters and give an example of an exchange (you love this kind of thing) etc.

Personally i don't mind that a review dives into describing specifics with a purpose, i find annoying reviews going step by step over the whole thing. Isn't the point of reviews to critique and dissect by definition? If someone wants a summary they could actually search for it.

 

[dr_octagon]

I'd prefer reviews as pretentious recipes which have pointless history and you struggle to find key ingredients.

My grandpapa introduced us to this franchise, he departed not so long ago. Though we all fade, the embers of memories continue. A simpler time perhaps where apples were fruit and not electronic devices. I liked the robo sex of blade runner and hams zimmer going brrrrr was fucking so good dude. The cinematography was lit fam. Lit, much like the candles were at dinner time where we ate together and laughed. The rolling moors of the countryside where the sheep ate grass. I oft wonder do androids dream of electric sheep.

 

[Dark Star]

I don't watch movie reviews because they tend to spoil them. This is why I don't watch Chris Stuckmann anymore because he sometimes shows clips or snippets from the movie in his reviews lol. I don't watch trailers or read anything about movies other than the RT score or IMDB rating as well. Trailers nowadays will show you EVERYTHING that happens in a movie, all the jump scares, all the comedic moments. I want to be surprised when I'm watching a movie, I don't want to know what happens beforehand. I like knowing if a movie is "good" or "bad" and going in completely blind other than knowing the director/actors/genre.

A good example is the teaser trailer for Tenet. You have no idea what the film is about other than it's a christopher nolan flick and it looks badass and gritty. That might not be enough to sell to most audiences, but I can dig the mystery.

 

[Vaelka]

Most movie reviews just seem to be people retelling the movie I don't even understand the point of most reviews, you may as well read a plot summary.

 

[Fbh]

Yeah it's annoying.
A lot of game reviews in particular are really bad when it comes to this. It feels like someone just explained to you what the game is about and which game mechanics it has....without actually mentioning if they are good and, if so, why.

 

[EverydayBeast]

You can’t rely on reviews.

 

[Keihart]

You can’t rely on reviews.

Rely for what tho? i'm not even arguing about their value as a buying guide, but even merely as entertainment i think this format fails.

 

[Kimahri]

A lot of fans do this just as bad, if not worse. Youtube has algorithms that.. Well, if your video is of certain length, that's favorable. So videos are padded. I have seen quite a few channels that deal with movies and shows and just retell the whole fucking thing that happened so far before getting to the point of the headline, which might be something like "where do we go from here?"

I mean, if I choose to watch a video about what we know about season 4 or 49 or whatever, chances are good I know what went down so fae, and don't need a recap , yeah?

 

[thesplitsubject]

I agree with you OP, I usually skip the first few paragraphs of the review when all they do is paraphrase the story. I want to find that out for myself. I want a review to focus on how the game works/runs/is it fun.