I just signed up to a dating site
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EatinOlives
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I've signed up to a few. I lost weight, created a more interesting and quirky profile, made at least semi-interesting first messages. No luck at all, it's been a downer.
I did meet one really good looking girl who I hit it off with then when I asked her out she stopped talking to me. That happens a lot it seems as well.
Yep. Everything about online dating communication is a bizarre alien ritual that has no resemblance to actual face-to-face conversation. There's countless unknowns, pitfalls and don't-dos. You may be hilarious and charming in real life but somehow come off as a douche or creep. People can stop talking to you and delete their profiles from existence in the middle of a conversation (that hasn't happened to me but I've heard it happen). An alarming number of people aren't even there to date, many are "just looking" or "just want friends", and I don't mean that in a "bringing this up in a conversation because I don't really like you that much" way, I mean that as in they actually put "I'm just looking" on their profile. If you're a woman you get 10 million nonsensical caveman "hey u cute letz fuq" grunts passed off as PMs from people who didn't even read your profile, and good luck getting them off your back if you don't completely ignore them (hell, good look getting some off your back if you DO ignore them). If you're a man you spend countless hours sending 10 million of your best-thought out PMs to women and nearly all completely ignoring you, making it an even bigger waste of time than TVtropes.
I mean that's not to say it's all terrible for everyone. Tons of people have found their SOs through online dating. It's just the experience is either pure shit or the best thing ever. From my experience there's no middle ground.
Winterfang
Banned
I sign up for OK cupid after 8 months of trying I got a reply from some lady who doesn't even live in my country. Telling me I looked sad, I was smiling in my picture. I never understood that and just closed the account it was too much effort for nothing.
AlphaTwo00
Member
Alt Step 1: Be female
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
hah, same exact experience with me.
also, being interesting and eccentric trumps all else, I think its a little secret most guys do not know about online dating. From what I have encountered if you're the funny/odd kinda weirdo then you will do fine on there.
Manmademan
Member
i met my wife the good old fashioned way- dancing in a bar
AlphaTwo00
Member
I think in general it's going to be a very low number of people who respond to you (especially on guy side), sometimes they don't check, sometimes they have an inactive profile, they see something on your profile they don't like, or your opener message wasn't the type they're used to or like... all sorts of things. It's just how it is.
Winterfang
Banned
Pretty much, like sending job applications online.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Are you in the Bay Area? There are a lot of Mud Run races or obstacle course events.
AlphaTwo00
Member
And it get worse, once you start messages, you pretty much must reply, whether you are sick, away for work or genuinely busy. No work requires you to constantly check in lol.
Winterfang
Banned
Great advice, some people had nothing better to do. I met a girl online that was pretending to be someone else, the weir part is that she didn't look so bad herself just not as universally attractive as the one she pretended to be. Also lots of dude pretend to be girls, there's also a bunch of scammers and just plain up fake accounts.
Nah but I'm in a country area so I guess that explains it. Weird because I had never heard of mudding before POF.
I really don't see how some people describe themselves as "fun" but when you message them, they don't reply with anything interesting or they make no attempt to keep up the conversation. Then you have people who say they're "unique" or "different" but their profile shows none of their unique or different qualities.
And double post. Sorry.
And double post. Sorry.
Winterfang
Banned
To be fair, the pressure to always keep the person interested is so had not everyone knows what to say. For example you send I don't 10 messages daily for 3 months, finally someone talks back, if you say the wrong thing you are back to zero.
Because everyone thinks they're a "fun and unique" special snowflake.
I live in rural england, and ive only come across two people I previously know on pof, tinder and okcupid
Right but it seems like some of these people are putting in zero effort. POF also kind of annoys me because you can't see both sexes profiles. As a male, I'd like to be able to see what other males are putting on their profiles.
looks dont matter on these sites. at least not much. you gotta sound interesting if you msg these girls
tons of thristy dudes out there messaging them they get flooded with them
edit : i met a girl on okc and she didnt look at all like in the profile. like a cousin or relative but not at all like the person on the pics
weirded me out and was the first and only online date i ever had
tons of thristy dudes out there messaging them they get flooded with them
edit : i met a girl on okc and she didnt look at all like in the profile. like a cousin or relative but not at all like the person on the pics
weirded me out and was the first and only online date i ever had
The key to online dating is to set up a lot of profiles across multiple sites. If you are only using 1 site, you're doing it wrong. You should be on as many as possible ...10 at the least.
checkeredknight
Member
I am noticing this trend too. More or less all of my top matches are bisexual and are looking for short term dating only.
TBH, I think OkCupid is pretty terrible. It seems like the best option for dating sites but that REALLY isn't saying much.
I tried the online dating thing. Signed up for 3-4 sites. Went on a few horrible dates. Logged in one night on OKCupid and saw someone viewed my profile from almost 300 miles away. She had no picture, but I liked her profile. I sent a message. 2 weeks later we meet face to face. 7 months later we are married. We have now been married for about a year and a half. Her and my now step-son are absolutely the best things that ever happened to me and we couldn't be happier.
It can happen to you. Patience.
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