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I want to ask questions to the fellow GAY GAFERS

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bobafett

Member
Well, I'm curious to ask some questions to gay people but actually I don't have any friends that are gay. So I had the brillant idea to ask my fellow gay gafers. Bear in mind that the purpose of this thread is to satisfy my (and this forum's) "knowledge" about gay people. I do not intend to offend anyone here. Feel free to join me in this thread. ;-)

1) When did you really find out you were gay?
2) In your opinion, being gay is biological (it was written in your genes, hormones, etc), sociological (you mother was more present in your life, lots of female friends, etc) or psychological (you were shy, something in your early childhood or youth drove you to find men attractive, any traumas, etc)?
3) Sometimes gay men have attraction to hot women?
4) What is the main difference of being gay and bissexual?
5) Can you have good looking male friends without wanting to f*** them?

Please tell me more about the universe of gay people. Your feelings, your life. I want to hear you. I think you deserve the same rights as heterosexual people and knowing you better can help us to help you.

Thanks.
 

ruffles

Member
1. I found out I was gay in 3rd grade when I got an erection from a guy and watching basketball players on tv
2. Hmm.....I think I was born gay.. I dunno how to explain it. I was and still am shy, but I don't think a traumatic experience has anything to do wit it.
3. I haven't.
4.I dunno
5. Yes, I have a lot. I haven't come out of the closet, but they know. Some of them are hot, but I just consider them friends and don't wanna fuck them.
 

teiresias

Member
1) When did you really find out you were gay?

I knew in 1st grade.

2) In your opinion, being gay is biological (it was written in your genes, hormones, etc), sociological (you mother was more present in your life, lots of female friends, etc) or psychological (you were shy, something in your early childhood or youth drove you to find men attractive, any traumas, etc)?

I lean towards biological since I had a very normal upbringing with a stable home, and my parents didn't separate until I had graduated high school.

3) Sometimes gay men have attraction to hot women?

I can appreciate when a woman is hot, and can recognize it aesthetically, but I've never been attracted to one, no matter how "hot" they are.

4) What is the main difference of being gay and bissexual?

Umm, if you're completely gay then you only want relationships with men (or women if you're a lesbian obviously) if you're bi, you're a greedy mofo that wants everybody for him or herself, or are some esoteric art student living your life like a performance-art project.

5) Can you have attractive male friends without wanting to f*** them?

Most of my friends are female, but is it impossible for a straight guy to have an attractive female friend without wanting to f*** them? Seems like a silly question, you might be attracted to them, but if you're a decent person you're not going to be constantly throwing yourself at anyone that you have a respectful friendship with, regardless of your sexual orientation.
 

bobafett

Member
teiresias said:
Most of my friends are female, but is it impossible for a straight guy to have an attractive female friend without wanting to f*** them? Seems like a silly question, you might be attracted to them, but if you're a decent person you're not going to be constantly throwing yourself at anyone that you have a respectful friendship with, regardless of your sexual orientation.

100% agreed.
 
teiresias said:
Most of my friends are female, but is it impossible for a straight guy to have an attractive female friend without wanting to f*** them? Seems like a silly question, you might be attracted to them, but if you're a decent person you're not going to be constantly throwing yourself at anyone that you have a respectful friendship with, regardless of your sexual orientation.

Nope, it's not possible to have attractive female friends without developing some sort of sexual attraction over time. Trust me. :(
 

Lambtron

Unconfirmed Member
teiresias said:
if you're bi, you're a greedy mofo that wants everybody for him or herself, or are some esoteric art student living your life like a performance-art project.

Let me preface this by saying that I do not find males aesthetically pleasing. I can recognize an attractive male, but it doesn't send my loins into a quivering rage.

For me, quite possibly others as well, but I'm just referring to me here, sexual attraction is very, very emotional. I couldn't just fuck someone if there was no emotional attachment. We, at the most basic level, fuck to make each other feel good. Orgasms feel good. So, if I'm emotionally involved with someone, I would want to make them feel good, obviously, emotionally and physically.

What I'm basically getting it is that I consider myself straight. If I had ever had a strong emotional connection with another male, I certainly would not have been closed to having a sexual relationship with him. I don't think that's me being greedy. I think that's me being open minded. Categorization is bullshit. Just fuck whoever you want to. Gay, straight, bi, dogfucker, I don't care. Whatever gets your rocks off.
 

bobafett

Member
Lambtron said:
Let me preface this by saying that I do not find males aesthetically pleasing. I can recognize an attractive male, but it doesn't send my loins into a quivering rage.

For me, quite possibly others as well, but I'm just referring to me here, sexual attraction is very, very emotional. I couldn't just fuck someone if there was no emotional attachment. We, at the most basic level, fuck to make each other feel good. Orgasms feel good. So, if I'm emotionally involved with someone, I would want to make them feel good, obviously, emotionally and physically.

What I'm basically getting it is that I consider myself straight. If I had ever had a strong emotional connection with another male, I certainly would not have been closed to having a sexual relationship with him. I don't think that's me being greedy. I think that's me being open minded. Categorization is bullshit. Just fuck whoever you want to. Gay, straight, bi, dogfucker, I don't care. Whatever gets your rocks off.

Well. You have an interesting point, although I do not agree with it. I can fuck a woman just for fucking. And I think most males would.
 

fart

Savant
Error Macro said:
Nope, it's not possible to have attractive female friends without developing some sort of sexual attraction over time. Trust me. :(
maybe if you're some kind of idiot horndog, jesus. fucking grow up
 

Wolfy

Banned
I am sexually attracted to almost all of my female friends, that doesn't mean I would ever act on any sexual impulse unless they were a best friend and girlfriend.
 

Lambtron

Unconfirmed Member
bobafett said:
Well. You have an interesting point, although I do not agree with it. I can fuck a woman just for fucking. And I think most males would.

I know most males would, and could, and do. I'm just saying that's not my scene. Never has been, never will be.

Then again, I'm repulsed by what most guys consider "hot." ie, toothpicks with canteloupes for tits, covered in faketan. :(
 
1) When did you really find out you were gay?

I think I've been gay since I was a kid, I remember finding Superman's manly physique really attractive while reading comics. I didn't admit it to myself until around my mid-teens I think, and only came out publicly in my early 20's.

2) In your opinion, being gay is biological (it was written in your genes, hormones, etc), sociological (you mother was more present in your life, lots of female friends, etc) or psychological (you were shy, something in your early childhood or youth drove you to find men attractive, any traumas, etc)?

I don't have a definitive opinion on this, nor do I really care to know... I think it could be a bit of all (biological + sociological + psychological)... Interestingly, my mother was definitely more present in my life, and I was raised between 3 sisters (my brother wasn't around), and I was very shy in my childhood. But I don't think those are common factors among all homosexuals. And you might think those factors would have turned me into an "effeminate" gay guy, but I'm not. I'm always told that I don't look or act gay at all and nobody would have guessed if I hadn't told them.


3) Sometimes gay men have attraction to hot women?

It depends. I think sexuality is a very wide spectrum, think of it like a scale from 0 to 100, one end being completely homosexual, and the other being totally hetero. I believe very few people fall exactly on either end, most people are somewhere in between. If I had to guess, I would say I'm about 90% gay. Meaning I do sometimes think "Oh my god, she is hot!", but that only happens on very rare occasions, mostly with celebrities. And I'm sure I would change my mind and run for cover once she takes off her panties infront of me. But like I said, that's just me personally, and results will vary for other homosexuals.


4) What is the main difference of being gay and bissexual?

Technically speaking, gay people are only attracted to the same sex. Bisexual people are attracted to both genders (I think they usually have a preferance though).


5) Can you have attractive male friends without wanting to f*** them?

I think the wording if your question is flawed. If it were "Can you have good-looking male friends without wanting to f*** them?" I would easily answer "Yes, of course", but if I find someone attractive, then I'll probably would want to have sex with them (that's the whole definition behind the word "attractive" in the first place, isn't it?)... For the record, I have tons of straight male friends, and I only find 1 or 2 of them attractive, and it's almost a non-issue most of time, it's very easy to block it out of your head, except in situations when you see them naked/semi-naked... but even then it's not a problem for me.


Please tell me more about the universe of gay people. Your feelings, your life.

"Universe of gay people"? Haha, I don't know about that :p

My feelings? my life? I think I'm happy person, I'm genuinely satisfied with my life and I never wished I wasn't gay, because I think the fact that I am gay played a big role in sculpting my personality and making me who I am today... I've always been popular among the people around me, I'm blessed with much love from everyone I know (family, friends, teachers, etc), and I can't help but think that things would have been very different (likely: ordinary) if I wasn't gay.
 

gofreak

GAF's Bob Woodward
1) When did you really find out you were gay?

Hard to point to a time. I was attracted to men, forever, but didn't realise that was "gay" until..I dunno, I guess about early puberty, when people started talking about sex. 12/13? I kinda thought being attracted to women was something that happened over puberty, but it didn't, so I was still hopeful at that time that I wasn't gay. It prob really hit home a couple of years after that.

2) In your opinion, being gay is biological (it was written in your genes, hormones, etc), sociological (you mother was more present in your life, lots of female friends, etc) or psychological (you were shy, something in your early childhood or youth drove you to find men attractive, any traumas, etc)?

I think there's definitely a large biological factor. I don't see how you can be gay without that. I don't see how my environment growing up was any different from my brothers or my straight friends. I had 2 brothers, who I got on great with, my Dad, whom I love, I played sports, all the regular boy stuff. I don't know..can't discount environment, but I think it was massively biological.

3) Sometimes gay men have attraction to hot women?

I've never been sexually attracted to a woman. I do like plenty of women. I know a hot woman when I see one, but I don't ever want to hit it.

4) What is the main difference of being gay and bissexual?

Whoops, totally misread this at first. I guess the biggest difference..hmm, I don't know. I imagine it's possibly even harder for bisexual people. While they can *try* play the straight life, and do it well, I'm sure, they'll never be able to ignore their same sex attractions. It's like they're "almost" there, but not quite. I'm sure it's even more confusing for them growing up, also.

5) Can you have attractive male friends without wanting to f*** them?

Yes. I've a lot of good looking male friends, but they never enter into my head sexually. I think it'd be weird ...almost as disgusting as shagging a girl ;)
 

gofreak

GAF's Bob Woodward
adelgary said:
1) When did you really find out you were gay?

I remember finding Superman's manly physique really attractive while reading comics.

Lol, I was the exact same. I was like 4/5, hardly a sexual being at all, but I really really really liked He-Man, if you know what I mean ;) I was completely innocent to the meaning of sexuality at that time, obviously, yet also obviously gay.
 

Matt

Member
The terms “fellow” usually means you are a part of the group you’re asking about. Freudian slip? ;)
 

gofreak

GAF's Bob Woodward
Matt said:
The terms “fellow” usually means you are a part of the group you’re asking about. Freudian slip? ;)

I was guessing he was gay, and just hadn't had the opportunity to "share" common experience before, hence his questions to other gay people. But maybe not :p
 
bobafett said:
1) When did you really find out you were gay?
Hmm, I think I firsted started having feelings for guys in the 7th grade, maybe 6th but I can't really be sure, but definitely in the 7th. Basically it started out with a guy I sat next to in my history class and he was your real athletic attractive type, but he was also really nice, funny, and pretty kind to me so I started to just have more and more strong feelings about him. More than just a friend you like to hang out with. It got to the point of where he became a somewhat central figure in my mindset. Hard to really explain, but basically I developed a crush on him.
2) In your opinion, being gay is biological (it was written in your genes, hormones, etc), sociological (you mother was more present in your life, lots of female friends, etc) or psychological (you were shy, something in your early childhood or youth drove you to find men attractive, any traumas, etc)?
I really think it depend son the person. For me I would say sociologic or psychological (Doesn't that go hand and hand anyways). I lacked a decent father figure in my life and the father I ever did have was somewhat abusive to my mom and even to my sister and I. I think this had some effect on how I turned out, but I'm not really and expert on the subject and can't explain why. But eh, I'm pretty he was probably one of the major factors. As for other people, I'm not really sure. I would say it's the same for them as well, but with other situations and such.
3) Sometimes gay men have attraction to hot women?
Hmm, I'm not sure. Usually not, actually I can't recall me ever being attracted to a girl because she was hot. I've shown strong affection to some girls who are close friends, but not enough to pursue a relationship. So I personally can't think of any reason for this. Then again I don't find drag queens, hermaphrodites, transsexuals, what have you hot either. Though I do enjoy having a drag queen around, they really lighten up the mood. :p I'm the same way with feminine gays. Sometimes it's even a turn off.
4) What is the main difference of being gay and bissexual?
Personally I don't think many people (at least not as much a gays) who are truely bisexual exist. I think majority who claim it are just going through a phase and decided which route to go. I only say this because I've thought of myself as one at one point when I was making the "transition" to a homosexual. In fact in high school even after having these feelings about guys, I was very much against homosexuality early on. But it seems that with time I sort of moved through a periods, once I would just find kissing and dating acceptable, then certain sexual activities, then it was to the point that I just had next to no physical or even emotional attraction to women and men were all I ever thought about.
5) Can you have attractive male friends without wanting to f*** them?

Of course! I have several attractive friends gay and straight that I don't just want to have sex with. Usually it's because I don't get a similar jive coming from them. Would I do them? Of course! But it's not a compelling feeling that I dream about everyday. It's the people I don't know or want to meet that seem to most often be the ones I want to have sex with.
 
bobafett said:
1) When did you really find out you were gay?
2) In your opinion, being gay is biological (it was written in your genes, hormones, etc), sociological (you mother was more present in your life, lots of female friends, etc) or psychological (you were shy, something in your early childhood or youth drove you to find men attractive, any traumas, etc)?
3) Sometimes gay men have attraction to hot women?
4) What is the main difference of being gay and bissexual?
5) Can you have attractive male friends without wanting to f*** them?

1 | I think I knew at a very early age, like in grade school. I had a close friend, and we were pretty touchy feely with hugs and stuff. Most boys are at that age, but it felt different for me. It felt personal and not a buddy-buddy type thing most boys go through.

2 | It completely has to do with genes and hormones. But I do believe that other factors can change the feelings a human being has, sexual or not. While growing up I always had more male friends than female, my mom did divorce but remarried.

3 | I suppose some gay men can, just like some straight men might have a gay crush. You'd be hard pressed to find some who would admit it though. I have seen some straight guys explore their sexuality and actually enjoy it.

4 | I believe it's hard to answer that because everyone has certain reasons why they enjoy their sexuality. I enjoy being gay because I happen to like the male friendships and bonds that grow, and having it go beyond that is cool. I can see how someone who is bi-sexual might enjoy both sides...but then again, it's also a weird subject for me because my ex happened to date a girl to spite me. x_x

5 | Yes, you can. My best friend is straight, cute, but I don't want to fuck him. I've even seen him erect and vise versa, and nothing happened. It is possible...but that's just cause I've known him for so long.
 

AssMan

Banned
Some gay guy I know at school says I should be a male stripper. He's a cool guy, and is always saying dick jokes, but I always tell him that I don't swing that way. =)
 

bobafett

Member
Matt said:
The terms “fellow” usually means you are a part of the group you’re asking about. Freudian slip? ;)

Freud believed that every male was naturally bissexual. Maybe you can answer me if he was right about this statement too. ;-)
 

ruffles

Member
DarthWufei said:
Hmm, I think I firsted started having feelings for guys in the 7th grade, maybe 6th but I can't really be sure, but definitely in the 7th. Basically it started out with a guy I sat next to in my history class and he was your real athletic attractive type, but he was also really nice, funny, and pretty kind to me so I started to just have more and more strong feelings about him. More than just a friend you like to hang out with. It got to the point of where he became a somewhat central figure in my mindset. Hard to really explain, but basically I developed a crush on him.

So did he know you were gay, and did you tell him you liked him?
 

bobafett

Member
gofreak said:
I was guessing he was gay, and just hadn't had the opportunity to "share" common experience before, hence his questions to other gay people. But maybe not :p

I'm not gay. Stop the speculation! ;-)
 
ruffles said:
So did he know you were gay, and did you tell him you liked him?

I was way too freaked out about doing that. Regardless of how nice a friend was... I was always in the closet and deep in. I used to live in Oklahoma at the time, and majority of the people I've been around were very homophobo or anti-gay. Same with people at school and I was far too freaked to ever say anything then. But actually I couple of months ago after coming out to my friends before I left high school, I decided to tell him I was gay. He was very cool with it. I still haven't said anything about liking him, and doubt I will ever get the chance to since I moved after coming out to my friends.

I still don't know if I should have. I'm not sure. Hell, I still have feelings for him today, just they aren't as strong. I dunno it's kind of weird. I really felt special when I had my moments to sit and talk with him or even just saying hello. He was just a really cool guy. Probably the closest thing I've ever had to a true crush and not just lust. Would I tell him now..? Maybe so, but I doubt anything will come of it. Story of my life, I tend to talk myself out of things like that. :p
 
kitchenmotors said:
I'm pretty sure I'm already on the list, I changed my sn when switching to the new board. I used to be known as space lion.

Nope. The list is based on the new forum, and neither your current name or space lion is there. I'm sure there's a lot of names to add to the list too.
 

Goreomedy

Console Market Analyst
Bobafet, you seek enlightenment, so I'll clue you in on something.

If you want to endear yourself to gay men, maybe take more care when typing up a questionare that's thick with stereotyping context. Most of us aren't effeminate, have had normal relationships with our fathers, can have platonic friendships with other males, and shouldn't have to "earn" the support of heterosexuals when it comes to gay issues.

All you have to know is we're all human, individuals, and deserving of life, happiness, and equal rights.
 
DarthWufei said:
Where can one find this list?

suerteslist.jpg
 

bobafett

Member
Goreomedy said:
Bobafet, you seek enlightenment, so I'll clue you in on something.

If you want to endear yourself to gay men, maybe take more care when typing up a questionare that's thick with stereotyping context. Most of us aren't effeminate, have had normal relationships with our fathers, can have platonic friendships with other males, and shouldn't have to "earn" the support of heterosexuals when it comes to gay issues.

All you have to know is we're all human, individuals, and deserving of life, happiness, and equal rights.

Sorry for the stereotypes but the information I have is pure crap. That's why I'm asking you in a respectful manner. I want to change this vision about homosexuals.
 
fart said:
maybe if you're some kind of idiot horndog, jesus. fucking grow up

It's human nature, assface. You can't just dismiss it as being an "idiot horndog." I think it's you that needs to do the growing up, and stop casting your idiotic and ridiculous accusations on other people.
 
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