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[RaymondCarver]

There's not too much work. Maybe it's just the devil trying to make me fail. I really don't feel like doing anything, man. Sometimes I go ninety to nothing, but all I got is negative space right now. I probably just wanting to tell everything to go piss off because there's a huge party this weekend in Houston that I'll probably not be going to, and I have some worries about what's happening to my department in technology. My department head thinks my school has a shot at semi conducting, and all the departments like imaging (photography) are being cut. I'm like Deon. I need to "get my dog back," as he says. Maybe I need a change of pace. You know what I'm saying?

Maybe, just maybe I'm being tempted just to settle down and nest. I'm probably too comfortable and also antsy about this, my last year. With the department dissolving, the rumor is that there is going to be no internship offered because there will be no staff there to monitor it. We have a mandatory two-semester internship in the degree plan. The guy who made the degree is retiring, and another professor is going for her PHD. I don’t know what other methods of support we’ll have, so I wince at having to do all the groundwork myself to find my foot in the door somewhere. I’m wondering if what is laid out in the course catalog is legally binding. I need a road trip or something, or a girlfriend that’s just as jaded as I feel right now.

Maybe I just need to dream something new, like going here and looking at scenery. Maybe one day I'll have a job that sends me to many different places like Cali. I've lived in Texas all my life, and I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the planet. First this college thing, which is probably not the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life, will keep me quite busy.

 

[robox]

i have the same feeling, but my situation is not nearly as complexed. I just plain don't feel like doing anything. I've always done well in school but it doesn't really give me all that much happiness and satisfaction, so this year i feel like telling myself to hell with it. maybe it's time for a change... i'm losing interest in computer science and computers in general, but i don't have anything else i want to do. just thoroughly unmotivated and apathetic. maybe a few bad marks will give me the kick in the ass i need.

 

[Zaptruder]

I'm on the cusp of complete failure at uni... I think I'll probably have to withdraw this year and just put it on indefinite hold; 5 years to get to this point, for a 3 yr degree... and still 7 units left (8 units in a full year).

It's sad... but I always thought I'd get to somepoint and things would just start getting better; kicking ass and taking names. But it hasn't; infact... it's just gotten worse, I keep thinking about doing work and I feel apprehensive. I keep planning on doing the work... but just keep putting it off one more day. one more day; then it gets to due date, and I'm like... I can delay one more day... it's only -10%... out of 30%... that's only 3%! Then that day comes and goes... and each day after that is -5%.

But the truth is, i'm currently in no state of mind to attend uni. My interests don't lie in the course I study, I have no idea what I can do with my mediocre degree and abysmal grades when I graduate. I have none of the discipline required to do the work for uni... and just thinking about it constantly is making me want to escape. contsantly.

I'm seriously thinking about changing my career entirely; if I can't pass this semester, then it's a forgone conclusion. If I can... well, I might put it on hold regardless. I'll still definetly have one more full semester after this one; and that's 6 months of more apprehension... so that I can get what? essentially a piece of paper.

I'm thinking that I'll self teach/train myself art. Without any formal education in my art... I think I have a considerable amount of skill that's worth honing. A good amount of competence in photoshop usage as well as a strong interest in art. Indeed... creating art gives me a great sense of satisfaction. I think it would be the kind of change I need to get out of this rut. In the meantime, I'll have to suffer the wrath of my parents who were expecting me to graduate at the end of this year; I've lied to them for over a year now, having failed a unit that would definetly have delayed graduation by over 6 months (by 3%)... then another 2 last semester. If I can weather that storm, I'll need to get part time work... while honing my skills as an artist.
I'm weary... but things will hopefully work out for the better in the long term. Who needs to be stuck working in a job they despise anyway?

 

[RaymondCarver]

There's a class that helped me in college. Educational Psychology 1350 9EDP1350) helped me become a student who could fend for himself.


If your university has any type of study skills course, take it. This class required some effort, but it was well worth it.

 

[Star Power]

I'm going through the same thing as well. I don't feel like doing anything, really. And this is quite a crucial year, so this couldn't have happened at a worse time. This all stems from the recent death of my mother.. I can't really concentrate on anything much. Furthermore, I absolutely loathe my school, and whenever I'm there there is this sort of "aura" that makes me even more depressed. Add to that the fact that my birthday is coming up, and I've been thinking about my mom even moreso than I've been before (which says alot, because I've cried basically every day since). I've never really liked it there, but I figued it would get better. It continues to get worse. So, I'm trying to deal with all that's going on in my life, and then I have all this superfluous work piled on me, that I honestly don't feel like doing, and when I try to do it.. it's like I don't have the time. I'm trying to find a balance for doing things that please me, and getting my work done.. but I can't really seem to concentrate. I'm still a bit perturbed mentally, and being at my school makes everything much worse. So, I took a little self-imposed vacation the last week or so, and had a mini-breakdown yet again, and now I'm going to have to go back, and be bombarded with weeks of backlog work, plus more of the work that was overbearing for me in the first place. *sighs*

It's sad... but I always thought I'd get to somepoint and things would just start getting better; kicking ass and taking names. But it hasn't; infact... it's just gotten worse, I keep thinking about doing work and I feel apprehensive. I keep planning on doing the work... but just keep putting it off one more day. one more day; then it gets to due date, and I'm like... I can delay one more day... it's only -10%... out of 30%... that's only 3%! Then that day comes and goes... and each day after that is -5%.

Same here man.

 

[Chrono]

It's sad... but I always thought I'd get to somepoint and things would just start getting better; kicking ass and taking names. But it hasn't; infact... it's just gotten worse, I keep thinking about doing work and I feel apprehensive. I keep planning on doing the work... but just keep putting it off one more day. one more day; then it gets to due date, and I'm like... I can delay one more day... it's only -10%... out of 30%... that's only 3%! Then that day comes and goes... and each day after that is -5%.

Man... That paragraph describes me perfectly.

Especially that first sentence. Whatever something bad happens in school, my brain automatically just assumes that I will get better (as if I have a crystal ball or something..) and say that this is just 3% or 5% or whatever...

The scariest thing is when I actually do study and I'm not making progress as fast as I've planned... and stumble on tough problems one after another. It murders my confidence and anxiety hits the roof. I'm going through this right this very moment.


These upcoming two weeks will decide my academic future. Why is that is too complicated to explain, but even more complicated are the consequences.. I 'm not going into details but failing this will change my life 180 degrees... and my parents' life. My dad might die if this affects him at the same time certain other things do. Hell I don't know what's going to happen to me. I can't do anything these days. I DON'T want to do anything. I just want everything to be over.

I guess nothing can be done right now but go forward... I'm scared as hell. I have not cried this much since I was a freakin' baby but oh well... I have no choice.

 

[Star Power]

I can't do anything these days. I DON'T want to do anything. I just want everything to be over.

I know the feeling. I just feel like there's this sort of 'mental blockade' that I just cannot get around. It's really troubling me, because I want to do well and get into a good University, but I lack the drive, you know?

 

[Baconäger]

I'm in my second year of college and hate it. My grades are kind of shitty so far, and I know I need to get my act together, and quickly. I'm also working a customer service job which is pretty goddamn boring when I'm not playing GBA there.

Life sucks. *goes back to writing english paper*

 

[Chrono]

I know the feeling. I just feel like there's this sort of 'mental blockade' that I just cannot get around. It's really troubling me, because I want to do well and get into a good University, but I lack the drive, you know?

Yeah I know. I want to do well too. To think of the things that would happen if I did not should be enough motivation for anybody. However, right now, all I see is just piled up work... I'll be studying for hours and hours just to catch up and god knows if that's enough by the time midterms start. If I started earlier and took things bit by bit my situation would be SO DIFFERENT it drives me insane.

 

[CajoleJuice]

Shit, this is my freshman year and I just don't ever feel like doing work. I'm so used to just coasting through shit in HS that I can't sit down and actually do stuff. And if the work is too hard, I just give up and go to sleep. I sleep way too much. I didn't even game at all before, but now I started playing CS:S, and I'm fucked. I'm never gonna get this Psych paper done, that was due on Friday.

And Chrono, my friend is going through the same shit right now. He just keeps thinking he's gonna fuck up "just like everyone expects him too." I'm really scared for him, I seriously think he's a manic depressive. He fucking jokes about killing himself way too often. I do the same shit, but I don't know, it really scares me with him.

 

[ChrisReid]

Wait till you guys graduate. Then things start really becoming a chore.

 

[Piecake]

I went through the same shit last semester. I did absolutly nothing, and had quit all of my classes at the end of the year right before finals so i wouldnt fail all of them. I think a combination of many things happened to have me act like that. over winter break, my GF broke up me, and i had a falling out with all of my friends, so i felt really alone and depressed. It didnt help that i was living in a small, shitty depressing dorm room.

I am naturally a lazy and procrastinating person, and at the begining of the year i started to put off my reading, and do a crappy job at the homework i had to turn in. After a month or so of classes, i pretty much stopped doing HW all together, and i did not want to, and did not go, to any of my classes because i just felt stupid, and embarrrassed not having done my HW , or the required reading.

After i dropped out of my classes, and went back home for the summer, my parents found out and what really killed me was they were not mad. They were just really concered for me , and wanted to help me get my life back on track. It was the first time ive seen my dad cry, and it really made me feel like shit, and opened up my eyes.

Over the summer, i took a summer class and i forced myself to get all of the reading and HW done ahead of time, and to try my very best on the papers and exams. That really helped me out because i forced myself to get into a good habit, and doing everything beforehand and trying my best at the things i did made me feel really satisfied.

This semester, ive been able to retain my good habits of doing things ahead of time, trying my best, and going to class. Consequently ive been feeling a lot better about myself and much more confident. Unlike last semester, when i just felt like a loser for not doing anything.

For anyone wanting to change their situation i would strongly recomend talking to someone close to you who cares about you, have a change of senery, get things done well ahead of time and try you best

Getting out of the dorms seemed to help me out a lot, because those small concrete cold walls just really depressed me. So if you are in a similar situation just try to get out of your room as much as possible, and study in the library. Also, a weekend trip or something i think would be a good way to break the monotomous boredom, and might get some of you reinvigorated to try hard in school.

Also, i just asked myself, If i cant force myself to do my work in college, that i actually have an interest in, how can i expect myself to get and keep a job? Because im just guessing work is even more boring and monotonous than the work you have to do in college

 

[Poody]

I was like that for the past 2 years, unmotivated and questioned my career choice in life. But this year was a complete 360 turn around. Ever since i started my Structural Analysis, civil engineering, I began hard pressed on books. Something about structural loads, shear, and bending moments created a passion for me once again. I was easily quantified to what I want and become in life. Before I shoot pool in the student union between classes now I study in the library, surprised to see how many hot girls in there, occasionally still racking it up.

 

[Kola]

I was like that for the past 2 years, unmotivated and questioned my career choice in life. But this year was a complete 360 turn around.

360 degrees? So you're back to your unmotivated life? Just kidding. =))

Well, I'm finishing my last Law term paper right now. Usually it takes about 3-4 weeks until you've got this one finished. I managed to delay it until now, 10 days left. Which means I have to work each and every day at least 10 hours per day. The pressure right now is so high that even I started working on it. I had the same time problems with the last 5 papers but never did I have so little time. I hope that I manage to finish this one on time. Because after that I've got the oppurtunity to study abroad for a semester and I hope this one helps me to get back on track, because my 1,5 years exam preparation starts after that. Probably the hardest time of my life, for which I need to be well prepared (especially mentally). I don't know if I have the strength for that right now.

I can't see myself working as a lawyer in just a few years, it's just so different from the life I'm living right now and I have to admit, that at this point in my life, I do not know if I've chose the right career for my life.....