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[DEO3]

Funnier than the real thing?

What do you get when you're gay?

Spoiler

Made fun of.

How do you drown a blonde?

Spoiler

Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

If you call up Steven Murphy Electrical Contractors on (08) 9284 7281 they can send over a qualified electrician to screw it in for you between 9-6 on any working day, guaranteed to arrive within an hour of your call or you get 50% off!

A duck walks into a bar...

Spoiler

Animal control is promptly called, the duck is then taken to a near by park and released.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadilliac going over a cliff?

Spoiler

They were my friends.

What do you call 5 mexicans in quicksand?

Spoiler

A dangerous situation that could soon turn tragic.

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks...

Spoiler

Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.

A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

Spoiler

Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity.

A man walks into a bar.

Spoiler

He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?

Spoiler

The Holocaust.

How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?

Spoiler

You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

Satan takes the form of Jesus and appears to three priests saying that if they do something evil, he'll let them drink of the holy water.

Spoiler

The three priests discuss the offer and come to the conclusion that Satan must be tricking them into comitting sin. When confronted with this accusation, Satan reveals his dastardly plot and salutes the priests on their cunning and steadfast faith.

The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope?

Spoiler

But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

Spoiler

One is a famous singer songwriter facing charges of child molestation and the other's a shopping bag.

...or not?

 

[bjork]

What's the best part of being a pedophile?

Spoiler

fucking little kids

 

[temp]

Not.

 

[GhaleonEB]

Why is an asprin small and white?





































Because if it was big and red, it would be a fire truck.

Oh, and WTF?

What's the best part of being a pedophile?

Spoiler

fucking little kids

Ban him, please.

 

[bjork]

Ban him, please.

It's been posted a bunch of times before, chief.

 

[DEO3]

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!"



















But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

 

[temp]

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!"



















But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

God, that's just too stupid to be funny at all.

 

[J2 Cool]

How many black guys does it take to tie a shoe?

Spoiler

Ten. 1 of them to tie the shoe, and 9 of them to shoot you.

 

[theREBELins]

What do you call a black who has gone through medical school?

Spoiler

a doctor

 

[Lemurnator]

What do you call a black person flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist.

 

[Prince of Space]

What was the pirate movie rated?

Spoiler

PG-13, for violence and suggestive themes.

 

[AstroLad]

See: "Willie Mouse & The Whiskers" and "Humor for the Kiddies"

See: "Yuks"

 

[Scrow]

It's been posted a bunch of times before, chief.

and someone should've been banned for posting it each time

 

[Gattsu25]

and someone should've been banned for posting it each time

Yeah, it really is a tasteless and dimshitted joke

 

[silver]

Two polar bears are sitting on an ice floe. One says to the other, "Would you like me to push you off this ice floe?" The other says, "No".



I hate "jokes" like these.

and someone should've been banned for posting it each time

Oh aren't we politically correct.

 

[Mama Smurf]

tasteless

Hence the funny.

 

[pollo]

i thought the pedophile joke was funny :lol

 

[Scrow]

Oh aren't we politically correct.

oh aren't we smarmy

 

[CajoleJuice]

Those were pretty terrible.

Except for the pedophile joke. Gets me every time.

 

[GG-Duo]

they're kind of meta-jokes if you think about it...

yeah.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

I think they are all pretty damn funny, would work great if you tell just one of them at a time.

and another fan of the pedo joke right here.

 

[Morbo]

What's the similarity between parsley and pubic hair?

Spoiler

Volume to weight ratio.

What do hobos do when it rains?

Spoiler

Seek shelter.

What did the blonde do when her house caught fire?

Spoiler

Left immediately and called the fire department.

 

[xabre]

The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope?

But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

:lol

 

[bjork]

Yeah, it really is a tasteless and dimshitted joke

No, that'd be reserved for:

What's black and blue and hates sex?

Spoiler

the four year-old in my trunk

 

[BuG]

No, that'd be reserved for:

What's black and blue and hates sex?

Spoiler

the four year-old in my trunk

Oh. My. God.