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Law and medical help needed

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B'z-chan

Banned
First off this might be short it might be long but i do need some answers. For as long as i've been alive my mother has been a very dependent person. What i mean by that is that she has needed either financial or other needs from others. Its always been like that. She's never really grown up.

Thats not to say she couldnt have a 20 year old son and still is getting supported by my grandparents. They are tired of supporting her. I'm tired of dealing with her. Everyone around her avoids her like the plague. But this wasnt so a few years back.

She's been in a few car accidents since before i was here. So in twenty years she's been hit 5-6 times. 3 of those times she ended up having some kind of pyshical problem arise later on in life.

The latest accident happened back in Feb 02. She was hit by a drunk driver with no insurance. She had a 500K policy on her new car and herself. The car was deamed total, but Farms decided to pay for full body construction since it was over a year old and under five years old. Everything was going well for a few months after this accident.

Nothing was evident till around June, she started to have problems. So the then functioning person (my mother) went up against farmers cause they werent paying up for medical or anything else.

Now here is where things take a turn for the worst. She's never really had a full time job. She had some odd jobs as a RN and working for IRS seasonal. So she's not really had to be responsible for herself or her actions. And having to caring parents she didnt have to worry about me or herself.

My mom was into weed and other drugs before i was born, my dad on the other hand. Well he was into coke and heavy drugs. Things that fucked him up bad. When they started to split up back in 94 i knew my mom took it hard. Little did i know she started taking massive amounts of drugs that she would sneak from the hospital.

A few pills here and there turned into a full blown adiction. Thing is it was too late when my grandfather and i found out. Her brain was gone, from what sound like a bunch of mini strokes. She's lost a large chunk of her brain from what a MRI shows.

The problem is that she got into opioids. Which are highly addictive and dangerous meds. Her addiction has got the worst of her now. The first incident happened in December of 2002. She blacked out, turned blue, and was not getting oxygen. She had a stroke, no one told us though.

Due to her rights she had the right to tell us or not. And since she can pass stupid questions like who is the president and what the date is they let her go. Thing is she's not ok.

You may ask what about talking to her doctor. Well unfortunatly its protected and none of us are allowed in. We have questions, we've wrote the doctor and even explained the situation. But he can not addresse us as to what to do, due to doctor patient confidentialty. I think he doesnt care to be honest and he just gives her more drugs.

Its not working out, she has for the past 6 months taken a dive for the worst, she's no longer here mentaly at all. She doesnt know whats going on. She mummbles and there just isnt anyone there. Yet she can threaten the hell out of ya with the police and crap.

its been a hard dive to the bottom. I've moved a good portion of stuff that i own to my new house in prep for me to move soon in the new month or two. I've lived in this house all my life and well my mom is going to be staying in this house.

Thing is as a family we are limited by laws and crap. And we need to get a second opinion on her condition. She hasnt tried to get off the drugs. And when her doctor recomends getting off the drugs and going into a rehab program she runs (no litterally) She bound to a wheelchair outside the house.

She's constantly falling and cutting herself. She's a danger to herself, she cant take care of herself. She let a dog die cause she thought it just need a bath (ironicly a stroke got the dog)

We've tried, and now i need some help. I'm going in this alone as i care about my mom. Her parents just want her to die now. So they take things out on me cause of her. They've been supporting me for so long. They expect me to do so much more. They cant tell her to leave, but they can me. Which i think is fucked up. They had to deal with her a lot long than me.

So i'm taking it upon myself to seek some help. I'm wondering what kind of lawyer and what kind of issuses i need to bring up. Cause i dont want her death blamed on me. The woman doesnt want help. She hits out at me and hurts me. And then she wakes up with a bruse and blames me. Tells me she's got a social worker coming and crap like that.

I cant take it. I went nuts a year and a half ago cause of all the stress. I temporarly went insane, got caught driving a car at 130mph with a knife at my wrist. I dont want to go through something like that again. I'm moving and i want to know that she'll get taken care of. I care about her even though she isnt there. And i dont want to see her die.

I'm in a tough place.

Waychel, and other legal or medical peeps please help me i'm begging. I need some help here.
 
D

Deleted member 4784

Unconfirmed Member
First of all, I am terribly sorry to hear about your mother's condition and the trouble that it has imposed upon both yourself as well as your grandparents. Unfortunately, there is little advice that myself or anyone else on this forum can provide you with, as what you are in need of are the services of an actual attorney (preferably an aggressive one with experience in Family Law).

From your description, I am lead to believe that what you are hoping to establish is a conservatorship regarding your mother, which is an extremely difficult legal task for any attorney to undertake (you can thank Reagan for that). However, an attorney can aid you in subpoenaing your mother's medical records as well as in seeking the second opinion of outside medical professionals in properly evaluating/diagnosing her condition and mental state.

Your ability to establish conservatorship over your mother is largely dependent upon a judge's consideration of her own rights of freedom when reflecting upon her medical state. Whether your mother is in a position to enjoy that freedom without endangering herself, yourself or your grandparents seems to be at issue, which could aid you greatly in establishing conservatorship. However, these are all issues to be taken up with an attorney, as they alone are in the position to evaluate your situation and advise you upon it.

Good luck. I wish you the best.
 
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation Hon. Unfortunately I can't offer you any advice on the legal side. But I do suggest you make sure to look out for you and make sure you are talking to someone, or getting some kind of emotional support in the situation you are in. It must be very difficult for you.
Take care and good luck.
 

B'z-chan

Banned
I've got doctors, pyshcologists, and councleors galore. Still isnt enough at times. But i wont crack again.

thanks for the replies.
 
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