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[teiresias]

Well, if anyone wants a recap, the first part of this saga is in the thread here.

In any case, after the events of the first topic I saw "Dan" a week or two later and we were friendly and ended up talking a little about it right as I was leaving, basically only getting out of him the words, "You did nothing wrong." Uh, thanks, great. Over the past three weeks we've had small AIM conversations, with nothing pertaining to the "situation" aside from him mentioning "his boy" once and them playing pool.

Anyway, last night we had this little exchange. I have blacked out his name to protect the innocent (or not so), I'm obviously Melkor100.

After he typed his last line I picked up the phone to call him, not entirely sure what I was going to say, but he didn't answer the phone and then before it even stopped ringing he logged off of AIM. I still can't decide if he even actually wants me at the party, I'm not going in any case. I also don't know what to make of the "well maybe I don't know."

I've deleted his screenname from my AIM list anyway. I'm not sure, but this could possibly have been our last words to each other aside from the message I left on his phone (and who knows if he'll even listen to that), and he definately won't call me back.

This whole thing just sucks, I was getting over the situation for a while, but then when this happened last night I was just plunged back into the despair I was in in the first post. I really hate having feelings for people.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Yeah my current distance relationship is really hard right now. Im hoping it will work out, but If it doesnt work out I might just stop trying. Finding people is difficult, and the pain isnt really worth it. The good times are fantastic, but hitting bottom is fucking hurt.

 

[Vark]

just cut the rope and move on. It sucks, but thats what happens

 

[Alucard]

I think it's time to move on, difficult as it may be.

 

[videogamer]

I've deleted his screenname from my AIM list anyway. I'm not sure, but this could possibly have been our last words to each other aside from the message I left on his phone (and who knows if he'll even listen to that), and he definately won't call me back.

dunno if that would work. I kept putting his name back on just to check on him... like profile etc. Sometimes he would IM me for a little chit chat.

Did you ever return the camera?

 

[Alucard]

Yeah my current distance relationship is really hard right now. Im hoping it will work out, but If it doesnt work out I might just stop trying. Finding people is difficult, and the pain isnt really worth it. The good times are fantastic, but hitting bottom is fucking hurt.

I...can't decipher if this is serious or a parody.

 

[MrAngryFace]

ssserious.

 

[tt_deeb]

dunno if that would work. I kept putting his name back on just to check on him... like profile etc. Sometimes he would IM me for a little chit chat.

So they don't IM back take them off and block them. You might check to see if they are on pretty frequently at first but then eventually you'll just get sick of it all and forget it. At least, hopefully - I don't have much experience with these type of things except for one instance.

 

[teiresias]

Yeah, I stupidly returned his camera. Which sucks because he still owes me $175, and has my Ratchet & Clank 1 game, and my AbFab Seasons1-3 box set (and he lost the Season 1 disk!). I'm due some compensation.

I dunno, I just can't help feeling like he's "the one" you know, because he's completely against every type I've ever seen for myself, which makes me feel it's more real. Every practical bone in my body is screaming I shouldn't give a shit about him, but I do. Here's a list of some practical reasons I shouldn't give a shit about him:

1) He never graduated from high school
2) He just recently (within the last two or three months) actually got a semi-steady job
3) He's been living off of a sugar-daddy for the better part of a year or more in an apartment he otherwise in no way could afford himself, and when I told him to start saving up a rent-stash when he got this new job he of course didn't do it.
4) He used to be an escort and occasionally still does it when he's running low on cash

I look at that list and think "What in the hell am I thinking??!!" but it doesn't change anything, it's just completely opposite of how I've approached everyone else I've ever been interested in.

 

[Malakhov]

Just forget him, don't see him or even talk to him ever again. It's better that way.

You'll get going again that's for sure but if you keep seeing him or talking to him, that's when you'll never get out of it.

 

[videogamer]

I dunno, I just can't help feeling like he's "the one" you know, because he's completely against every type I've ever seen for myself, which makes me feel it's more real. Every practical bone in my body is screaming I shouldn't give a shit about him, but I do. Here's a list of some practical reasons I shouldn't give a shit about him:

1) He never graduated from high school
2) He just recently (within the last two or three months) actually got a semi-steady job
3) He's been living off of a sugar-daddy for the better part of a year or more in an apartment he otherwise in no way could afford himself, and when I told him to start saving up a rent-stash when he got this new job he of course didn't do it.
4) He used to be an escort and occasionally still does it when he's running low on cash

I look at that list and think "What in the hell am I thinking??!!" but it doesn't change anything, it's just completely opposite of how I've approached everyone else I've ever been interested in.

Yeah I thought the same thing. I tried to forget about it all. Also, he had little practical reasons going for him too. Keep in mind that I'm a uptight nerd.

1. Is 7 years older than me and never finished college
2. Pathetically low college GPA before he improved.
3. Very skinny (8 incher though)
4. Plays too many video games
5. Has little interest in getting good grades

Why the heck am I still thinking of him?!? omg

 

[Spike Spiegel]

Go "Glenn Close" on his ass.

 

[demon]

Yeah I thought the same thing. I tried to forget about it all. Also, he had little practical reasons going for him too. Keep in mind that I'm a uptight nerd.

1. Is 7 years older than me and never finished college
2. Pathetically low college GPA before he improved.
3. Very skinny (8 incher though)
4. Plays too many video games
5. Has little interest in getting good grades

Why the heck am I still thinking of him?!? omg

What are you looking for a boyfriend or a calculus tutor?

 

[totoro'd]

I think you guys are just in a "bad boy" phase. Those guys REALLY sound like losers. I went through a bad boy phase in my early 20's with a guy who I was really sexually attracted to, and just being around him would make me melt. But he was a major loser: no steady job, had gotten arrested several times, smoked pot all day, wanted to borrow money from me to buy pot, etc. But he was major hot, and the sex was incredible, and i think that's what kept me from realizing the truth.

My advice: let it go

 

[videogamer]

What are you looking for a boyfriend or a calculus tutor?

That's what confuses me. He's not the kind of person that I thought I would be attracted to. At least some ambition, you know?

 

[teiresias]

Well, I generally don't look at someone's education as much as their drive to better themselves. He wants to be an interior decorator and he's good at it too, I just don't think he applies himself enough to getting to the point of being successful at it. I can understand why, he's always short on cash, but he'd help himself so much if he just got his damned GED.

 

[Escape Goat]

He wanted sex. You should know by now that most gay men want to fuck without strings attached. Sad but true. I'm sure there are other signs that would have tipped you off to what kind of person he was.

I think you guys are just in a "bad boy" phase. Those guys REALLY sound like losers. I went through a bad boy phase in my early 20's with a guy who I was really sexually attracted to, and just being around him would make me melt. But he was a major loser: no steady job, had gotten arrested several times, smoked pot all day, wanted to borrow money from me to buy pot, etc. But he was major hot, and the sex was incredible, and i think that's what kept me from realizing the truth.

This is 100% accurate. Most gay folk go through a slutty phase. This is why I date people slightly older than me. Doesn't mean they aren't slutty but by then its easier to find more stable guys. The guy I'm with now is 25 and is a computer programmer for a major company in Indianapolis. The good ones are out there, it just takes alot of time and wasted effort.

 

[norinrad21]

How long are you going to continue to torture yourself? I'm curious

 

[Spike Spiegel]

Well, I generally don't look at someone's education as much as their drive to better themselves. He wants to be an interior decorator and he's good at it too...

*snicker*

 

[Mercury Fred]

I dunno, I just can't help feeling like he's "the one" you know, because he's completely against every type I've ever seen for myself, which makes me feel it's more real.

I made the mistake of falling for someone last year who I thought was "the one." I'd never been so into anyone ever. Conversations were great, the sex was mindblowing, and then he sort of got distant. And more distant. Then he wouldn't call me back. Then he invited me to see him in LA and proceeded to treat me like shit when I was there. After months and months of sadness and misery on my part, I started to let it go. I still dream about him sometimes or wake up all turned on with him floating through my head, but he's not the one. The one is going to be somebody that I don't have to beg to be around.

The moral of the story is this: One of the key factors for someone to be "the one" is that the person must show up and treat you well. It's very simple, but we all miss it sometimes. OK, now re-read that and absorb it into yourself. Cut it off and do what you have to do to make yourself feel better, whether it's a little petty revenge or not. Most likely, he'll be sad in the long run when he realizes he missed out on you.

 

[teiresias]

How long are you going to continue to torture yourself? I'm curious

Can't I have my Dawson Creek moment dammit!!!!!

 

[Mercury Fred]

*snicker*

Don't you have a Fox News broadcast to blindly believe or something?

 

[Escape Goat]

Spank your innter moppet, Teiresias. You sound like you have battered wife syndrome.

 

[All Hail C-Webb]

I'm going to tell you what I recently told a friend of mine, all you have to do is replace she with he, and take the advice.

Get over it. She doesn't want you, and she's not right for you. I don't give a shit if you liked her, she doesn't want you, and that's never going to change, especially if you turn into a depressed self loathing motherfucker. Nobody but me will ever find "the one," people just take what they can get, and they make the best of it. This isn't a movie, life isn't perfect, and you need to learn to accept that. Harping on this is going to do nothing good for you, go out, have fun and meet new people, there is always something better right around the corner.

I then took my friend out to get drunk, and found him a "companion" just so he could remember that "companionship" is great, even if it's not with the one.

I suggest you do the same.

 

[Alucard]

GETS YOSELF LAAAAAID!

Hello, why am I giving this advice?

 

[Diablos]

F.

 

[Alucard]

F.

Oh no you don't...must resist.

 

[ohamsie]

Jeeze, he sounds like a huge drama queen. The reason he is doing this is because he wants the conflict to break out between you and the other guy, and he can gleefully be caught up in the middle of it.