Longer Alone in the Dark Trailer

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That action scene is worse than some of the shoot outs in Ecks Vs. Sever. Why the hell were they shooting in the direction of each other?

The CG isn't as bad as A Sound of Thunder, though.
 
ugh.
 
That shooting scene reminded me of Equilibrium. Except this one sucked and they kept shooting for about 5 times longer than they needed to.

I never played the games, but this isn't at all the vibe I got from the artwork and screens I saw. Is this movie following the story of the games at all?
 
This looks fucking awful. Seriously, how does this man have a career? This is crappy by direct-to-video standards.
 
What a shitty promo. Man, I feel bad for Christian Slater, so much so that I'll pay the guy so he doesn't have to do crap like this.
 
Holy crap, that was one poorly edited trailer. Looks like Uwe Boll has an obsession with tracer fire in the dark....what in the hell were they shooting at anyway?

Oh man, I need to rent this and House of the Dead sometime for some laughs.
 
Wario64 said:
Holy crap, that was one poorly edited trailer.
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It's not a real trailer. Seems like a promo reel to me.

what in the hell were they shooting at anyway?
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Heh, no idea... not that any of the rest of the footage made any sense either.
 
Wow...I didn't think he could make something look worse than House of the Dead. What the hell was with that CG shootout?

The only person that will be alone in the dark is anybody that pays money to see this...
 
"Don't be insane! DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR"

::guy throws knife at old guy. Old guy shoots gun in the air as he dies::

Damn, I'd like to be in a movie if it's that easy to get paid.
 
Grizzlyjin said:
The only person that will be alone in the dark is anybody that pays money to see this...
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Haha... I forsee lots of jokes like this in late night talk show monologues.
 
boll1_sw.jpg


Here is the man that will ruin videogame-to-movie adaptations for a long while. :(
 
Wow... I've never seen anything that poorly edited in my life... and the CG sparks and bullet trails made it unbearable. It was like I was watching some badly directed new art student video. Even the acting is horrible. I'm guessing it has to be intentional... something that obviously bad couldn't possibly get greenlighted. Damn.
 
AniHawk said:
"Don't be insane! DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR"

::guy throws knife at old guy. Old guy shoots gun in the air as he dies::

Damn, I'd like to be in a movie if it's that easy to get paid.
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That part of the trailer had me cracking up for a minute or so. Oh man...so terrible


3pheMeraLmiX said:
Wow... I've never seen anything that poorly edited in my life... and the CG sparks and bullet trails made it unbearable. It was like I was watching some badly directed new art student video. Even the acting is horrible. I'm guessing it has to be intentional... something that obviously bad couldn't possibly get greenlighted. Damn.
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Uwe Boll posted a rant on his site a couple months ago (you can probably find the thread in this forum, forget if it was before forum move though). Anyway, the guy actually tries to defend his directing with House of the Dead, pretty much saying all HOTD haters are stupid. He even went on and compared himself to Tarantino because of the amount of blood and gore used in HOTD...and mentioned how he made 10,000 camera cuts in 10 minutes of action (wtf?). Unfortunately the rant isn't on his site anymore, I assume he either received a lot of hate mail or was drunk when he posted it :P
 
Holy shit, Sir Ben Kingsley just signed on for a part in Bloodrayne. First Thunderbirds and now this? Is he desperate for money? Has he ceased caring completely? Will Sanderson and Michelle Rodriguez are also now signed along with the previously announced Kristanna Loken as the lead.

Jesus, someone end his career now. He's somehow conning people with good careers into jumping into his sinking ship.
 
sc1826.jpg

There goes another one. BOX OFFICE POISON!

Ironically, this picture also shows up when you enter "train wreck" into google image search:
pregnantgirlportrait.jpg

LOL! Tara Reid after the colossal failure that will be this movie. I knew there was a reason I never saw HOTD. PEACE.
 
Wario64 said:
That part of the trailer had me cracking up for a minute or so. Oh man...so terrible




Uwe Boll posted a rant on his site a couple months ago (you can probably find the thread in this forum, forget if it was before forum move though). Anyway, the guy actually tries to defend his directing with House of the Dead, pretty much saying all HOTD haters are stupid. He even went on and compared himself to Tarantino because of the amount of blood and gore used in HOTD...and mentioned how he made 10,000 camera cuts in 10 minutes of action (wtf?). Unfortunately the rant isn't on his site anymore, I assume he either received a lot of hate mail or was drunk when he posted it :P
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Wow, that's pretty incredible. I didn't realize that he directed HOTD either. Perhaps I'll rent this trash with my friends and have a good laugh at crap in motion. It's amazing how he's still working.
 
Man that looks like amatuer night at the movies. Why is almost every shot eye level. Why does every shot have direct to video or late night tv style composition. Why is the dialouge being delivered so poorly? Why does the lighting look like something from 1980's CBC? Why do those tracer effects look like science fiction films from the 50s?

Hopefully UBIsoft and Crytek see that this guy simply cannot make movies and cancel the FarCry deal. Even though Far Cry's movie sequences are badly directed they are still better than what Uwe Boll can do.

My respect for other directors only increases when I see shit like that.
 
How the fuck is Boll doing this, seriously?

I can just see Uwe receiving the Kingsley casting news.

Casting agent: Mr.Boll great news, we've secured Sir. Ben Kingsley for a part in BloodRayne.
Uwe: Kingsley, Kingsely............ um, Kingsley?
Casting agent: You know, Academy Award winner..... ever hear of Gandhi ?
Uwe: oh....Oh.... OH yeh, Gandhi! that was a killer Playstation game.
Casting agent: ................
 
Come on, I'd love to make a Far Cry movie. The setting has such great potential. With some skill it could come off like a cross between Jurassic Park and Predator.
 
Warm Machine said:
Come on, I'd love to make a Far Cry movie. The setting has such great potential. With some skill it could come off like a cross between Jurassic Park and Predator.
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Yeah, but why even call if Far Cry? You have a jungle and that's it. The story in the game is absolutely terrible...
 
LOL. The whole thing was just asstastic! Easily worse than Catwoman's previously low-water mark for trailer quality.

WTF was up with the tracer fire around those boxes?? Why show it over and over again?! What where the shooting at, the boxes or shit beside them?

The acting looks oh so sad. Everyone is practically cringing in shame, and Slater seems be be hunched over like he hopes noone can tell it's him. It actually looks like Tara Reid is trying, which is terrifying.

Seriously, the camera 'work' (don't know what exactly to call it), the acting, the dialogue, the sets and props, EVERYTHING reminded me vividly of FMV cutscenes from around 1998.
 
Someone needs to make me an animated gif avatar of the knife floating into the old guys heart. Or of the machinegun firing in the air.

After that trailer, I hate to say it, but Uwe Boll's got my money.
 
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