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Welcome to the madden awards thread for season 2! Will there be an awards thread for season 3? I don't know, maybe! I probably forgot some things that happened along the way, but i'm old now I can't be expected to remember it all! So without further Adoo (as my boy tlbb would say), enjoy the awards.
And now for my new section of the awards, fictional books starring players in the league and the craziness they got into! Woowowowow! So hilarious!
1. Biggest bitch - anyone who uses QB sneak; and you know who you are you dumb motherfuckers! One day everyone will be shamed into not using this play! I don't think i'm using hyperbole when I say it is literally worse than aids.
2. Hershel Walker award for most entertaining trade on draft day - bowser draft trade for erron rodgers - now you might say "but bowser is on top of the division!" and this is true! But we'll just see. I have a suspicion bowser will get no further in the playoffs than he already has!
3. Salt award - TLBB giving up on his season. You can make the argument that he didn... actually no you can't. After birdles took the division BY FORCE tlbb opted to have some of his game as sim losses and generally gave up. Will that happen again? Only birdles can say!
4. 3'oclock high award for Biggest bully - LJ beating FMT. Yes, in the last 2 games of the season against him, I lost by a combined 200 points, including a loss in the playoffs by 250 points. However, unlike in the movie, the person I paid to beat the bully actually succeeded! Enjoy your copy of madden 17, CB3!
5. Most shameful division - AFC East; I give no individual awards to this division! We were so close to having a CPU playoff team because of the ineptitude! Pls AFC east... pls!
6. Trent Dilfer award for 1 year wonder SB winner - Crimson; i mean if he proves me wrong I'll admit that I'm wrong but it felt like one of those magical runs that will never happen again! I'm sorry crimson... at least alabama won!
7. 2001 Rams award for failure to show up in the Superbowl as a heavy favorite.... or crimson recorded CB illegally - crimson over cb
Welp, CB (pictured in the gif above playing in the superbowl) probably went into the Superbowl not unlike the seattle seahawks of last year, thinking he was going to coast to back-to-back titles. But he forgot about Alex!
8. Eyeore award but then actually still not being good - wellington
We all know wellingtons routine.... but this year he has yet to make the playoffs! So it's like... the routine is true! What a twist! Maybe this is his year though... I hope so. I know for a fact he's going to beat me
9. Biggest drama - brent vs. gq
What a weird situation it was. But as Michael did on the office, it was a win-win-win in the end!
10. Curtis Painter Pass of the Year Award - tie: Luke & Smokey
Now I rarely (if ever?) do a tie award but this was rough because on one hand luke won the passing title itself. On the other hand, smokey's QB was league MVP! I had no choice! Congrats to you both, Ebony & Ivory!
11. Best manual defender - cb
I'll probably change this next season just for the fuck of it but tough to not give it to CB for his screen defense alone! Playing manual D isn't as tough as it once was, but it's still not easy!
12. Comeback player of the year - eznark; the only player to literally leave and then come back shortly after.... so i mean is it an award if you're the only one to do it? yes!
13. Victim of division - bluemax; ok first off to answer your question: Why is bluemax listed here but not pheeniks? And the REASON is that bluemax always has to play in this division! This is pheeniks' first season! Anyways, bluemax would probably be a gimme in most other divisions to make the playoffs every year... but against the powerhouse niners and rams!? Tough sledding!
14. Marty Schottenheimer award for playoff excellence - dcx; dcx has been a playoff participant every season this year and in seasons past... but not much to say beyond that! Is this his season? Probably not, but maybe. But probably not
15. Worst live game attended - az attending clemsons national title game loss; i dont give a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck if this isn't madden related and the award speaks for itself! congrats on your wasted time and heart break az!
16. Little Mermaid Award for biggest complainer (sponsored by Az) - TLBB complaining about Birdles; ok first off TLBB talks trash about birdles and said he isn't worried about not winning the NFC North. Then birdles punches him in the mouth and he complains about a bunch of nonsense during the game! Typical TLBB and he learned it from his adult hero az!
17. Tacklin' Oscar Attendance award - DMczaf; DM will show up for a post, then disappear from the thread forever! Will he show up in this thread!? Maybe!
And now for my new section of the awards, fictional books starring players in the league and the craziness they got into! Woowowowow! So hilarious!
18. The Infinite Rebuild, Pheeniks in Theory & in practice - every year he builds his team up, and every year he says he's looking forward to the draft by week 4!
19. The Incredible Playoff Turnover Machine: The life & times of Sokantish - great playoff performance breaux! i almost won this award
20. 4 Verts of the apocalypse: a biography of BigAT - every since smokey exposed BigAT for his disgusuting and game breaking transgression, he hasn't made the superbowl. Coincidence???????????????????????????????????????????????????
21. Don't close the screen door, starring DCX - how many screens is enough in a game? 1? 2? 3? how about 4? maybe 5? what about 6? ok, 7?? 8!? Try 35. DCX called 35 screens in one game. I looked forward to playing him in a couple weeks! #TheRevolutionIsHere
